Today I ran into a woman who I hadn't seen in a year, but who I'd convinced to start lifting about 18 months ago. She looked terrific. Seriously - she'd always been lean and a little muscular, but a bit bottom heavy and narrow up top. As I suspected, she has a natural ability to add muscle and to my eye she's added about ten pounds of it in the last year, while losing maybe five pounds of fat. The extra inches have completely rebalanced her proportions, making her shoulders nearly as wide as her hips. That's the benefit I promised her in the first place, but is she happy with it? Not really.
She told me that she is going to quit lifting and shift to pilates because a male friend told her she was starting to look like an East German swimmer. I responded that it was crazy talk. "Look at you! You look terrific! You have a lot to be proud of!" But she wasn't hearing it - she said that contrary to my claims most guys don't find buff chicks hot, they want stringy little girls.
I sensed an opening and dashed right in with "That's just a lie propagated by the patriarchy to keep women weak, enervated and submissive." She knew that was me being sarcastic, but she said, "Yeah, nice use of 'the patriarchy' - you almost got me there." (I know her buttons pretty well.)
I didn't stop there: "You've got a great, athletic build, and you shouldn't try to be something you're not, which in this case is doubly true because it's something less than you actually are." But she wasn't having it. It's so odd, because in the past she even seemed interested when I suggested she should consider competitive lifting, but now her confidence has been shaken by one stray remark from an idiot.
she said that contrary to my claims most guys don't find buff chicks hot, they want stringy little girls
Man, too bad you can't just bring up your website(s) as counterevidence ;)
But actually even if you were comfortable with that, this kind of site is just likely to creep out a woman who is that easily shaken.
muscle82002
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65.189.111.xxx
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2006-05-20 01:10:30
It is a shame she didn't continue to lift weights just because of one comment, when in actuality most men like muscle on a woman, but just don't readily admit, and instead they settle for a stick. I swear it is this type of ignorance towards women who actually want to take care of their bodies that piss me off.
luvmuslgirls
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24.169.233.xxx
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2006-05-20 12:38:52
Well, you must know, if a person is going to change themself, it must come from within them. That's where the change starts. She, as with alot of people, let the opinion of others make her choices. You cause a change in her, then another man with a snide remark causes another change. I think the media still has it out for muscle on women. Still basically is "put off" by it. That's got to be a major "breaker" in changing attitudes over peoples look of a woman's beauty.
luvmuslgirls
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24.169.233.xxx
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2006-05-20 12:42:45
Sorry, just had another thought on this after rereading your post. What if that guy actually LIKED East German swim girls, and it was meant as a positive remark? :?
MortisKBailey
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172.203.226.xxx
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2006-05-20 14:03:21
"but now her confidence has been shaken by one stray remark from an idiot."
A little harsh just because you didn't get what you want isn't it?
"That's just a lie propagated by the patriarchy to keep women weak, enervated and submissive."
A good place to start in changing this is to respect her opinions and not try to convince her otherwise.
Lingster
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Hm?
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67.62.198.xxx
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2006-05-20 21:17:49
A little harsh just because you didn't get what you want isn't it?
She's been doing this for 18 months. Presumably she liked the results as well.
A good place to start in changing this is to respect her opinions and not try to convince her otherwise.
On my planet we have a concept called "joke".
sevenup
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203.214.153.xxx
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2006-05-21 09:17:06
j..o...k...e? what is this joke of which you speak?
Seriously, I'm guessing that either this male friend is someone whose opinions she pays a lot of attention to, or is someone who she's interested in.
Another possibility is that she's heard it from more idiots than just this one.
In any case there are two points to be made:
1. maybe we (guys who like buff girls) are still in the minority; or at least in particular communities we are.
2. if she's got wide hips, then no matter how she diets, without strength training up top to even things out (or maybe a boob job), she just can't be skinny and well proportioned.
Anyway Lingster, can't win'em all. At least you're doing your bit.
Silent One
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I've been down this road befo
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71.113.162.xxx
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2006-05-22 09:31:32
I used to work with a girl who was quite simply phenomenal. She had a very athletic, toned body, not quite buff but if you had seen her in a tank top you'd likely have droolws. She was fresh from a good track career in school and once confided to me that she was glad she was done with it so she could "look normal" again. I did what I could to tell that she looked fantastic as she was, didn't even try to convince her to further her musularity though damn I was tempted, she had the genes for it. But nope, after not seeing her for a period of nearly three years I bumped into her again and she had indeed "looked normal" again, and to my eye much less attractive. A waste indeed, I would have thought someone proud of their athletic acomplishments would have been proud of the body they helped forge. It baffles my mind to this day.
skinnyguy
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206.63.252.xxx
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2006-05-22 15:52:31
We seem to be living in a society that does not value fitness or that look. Look at the level of obesity (male and female) which is at record levels.
Tolan
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24.196.29.xxx
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2006-05-23 11:46:01
In Europe (and other societies, I'm sure), large and sometimes obese women were seen as very healthy and very attractive. Today, it seems that the trend is coming back...but just because we're too lazy to do something about it. >.< Yet we now consider "sticks" to be healthy and attractive, which, for me, both are incorrect. To be that skinny, you've gotta do without a lot of the proper neutrition... I've always looked at a well built body to be extremely healthy and attractive. I find it attractive particularly because it also shows that the person has a strong will (otherwise, they'd have quit before getting in that shape)... I'm rambling, so I'll leave with my given thoughts... oh, one last thing: I had gotten my girlfriend (been an ex for a long time now) to workout. She had awesome traps.....anyway, point is that she had quit going to the gym quite a while ago and she's gained the wrong kind of weight. :cry
cpbell0033944
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Registered
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2007-01-08 17:06:53
I know I'm commenting on this rather a long while after you posted it, Lingster, but I only just found it. This is exactly the reason that I keep bemoaning the moronic anti-muscle comments on Metacafe (relating to cindy Phillips) and on blogs about Jess Biel. It's also the reason why I pray that Jess doesn't go skinny - she's such an awesome role-model for girls; she proves that muscularity is sexy.
