I received a troubling email this morning from a figure competitor. She is threatening legal action against me for using her real name in describing a naked photo of her. Apparently she wants people to use her "stage name" - which she didn't bother to specify - when describing the photo. I am under no legal obligation to do so, so it boggles the mind that she'd employ a legal threat.
It never ceases to amaze me how some people lead - right off the bat - with threats. When I want something from someone, my approach is to use words and phrases like "please", "if it's not too much trouble", "I'd appreciate it", etc. It's what I do. Maybe it's just how I was raised.
One thing I was definitely raised to do, however, is respond to ultimatums with the phrase "go fuck yourself." I learned that one while I was still in the womb. I think it's the responsibility of free people not to respond to threats. I would have been perfectly happy to label the photo however she wanted if she'd made the request in a civil fashion, but if she's going to threaten me, I'm going to ignore her request.
Earlier this year, I met a different figure competitor at the Arnold Expo and she asked me if I could - please - exclusively use her stage name on Amaz0ns. I went to the trouble of eradicating her real name from the site, including from dozens of forum posts, and replacing it with her stage name. She used that magic word. She didn't threaten me. She just let me know her preference and that was all I needed to know.
Today's email is so distasteful to me that I can't even bear to respond to it. I forwarded it to a pay site operator who works with the figure competitor on a regular basis and told him my inclination to tell her to go fuck herself. He thinks I should try to be nice and that "it just doesn't help to be hostile to anybody". He's wrong, though. It does help to be hostile to some people, especially people who are being hostile.
So my response, I suppose, is that I'm not going to change anything this week. If I get a civil request next week - 11 December would be good - without any threats in the text, then I'll make the changes. I won't be happy about it, but I'll do it. And I would advise her not to send me any additional threats.
i agree with your friend, be nice its not worth it to be hostile.
just my 2 cents
buffy
khuddle
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Registered
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2008-12-05 11:53:22
Sending a thratening email like that right off the bat is just crazy so I agree with your response. Tell her firmly that you will not respond to a threat, but that if you receive a polite follow-up you will comply to her request.
Lingster
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Super Administrator
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2008-12-05 12:30:03
I'm not telling her anything. I posted my response here. If she reads it she'll know what to do.
Fett
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Registered
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2008-12-05 15:03:36
Best of luck with this, Lingster.
puddlejumper
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Registered
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2008-12-06 23:51:38
Unfortunately her response is typical for present day America, where the mantra/ attitude of "Never say you're sorry because it's a sign of weakness" and "Deny everything unless you stand to profit from it", and the idea that you an get what you want by demanding it or else with bluster and bluff. Because it's easier to attack then defend and common courtesy is for those who are inferior and weaker than us. My personal belief is it takes more moral strength to admit you're wrong and accept the consequences. And courtesy is what everyone deserves until proven otherwise.
So I commend you for not allowing some spoiled little girl try and force you into giving her what she felt she deserved because she didn't want to live with the consequences of her own actions.
Tigersan
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Registered
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2008-12-07 03:59:19
I totally agree with what you said... threatening is not a way.
Tho I'm a little confused about the stage name/real name thing ??? something like "madonna" ? lol
paladin987
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2008-12-07 12:37:56
The girls who pose nude for photos and do nude webcam performances very often use "stage names" to protect themselves. Many of them have contracts with supplement manufacturers and other more reputable businesses, and if their activities get back to their sponsors, well they'd face some problems.
paladin987
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Registered
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2008-12-07 12:45:54
Which pay site does she work for?
FigureRX
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Registered
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2008-12-12 16:23:46
Stage names rarely protect anybody. It's best to conduct ones self in a way that would make you, and your parents, proud.
paladin987
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2008-12-12 20:27:18
You'll get no argument from me on that observation! People who know the women by their real names will spot the material with the "stage names" and word will get out. Unfortunately, the desire or just plain need for money drives the women into this business, leading to risky behavior.
