I had a dream the other night that turned into a nightmare.
I traded in my Ford for a brand new time machine!
I was impressed with the comfort of it's seats and the smell reminded me of my Ford when it was brand new.
There was a large tiel colored dial with a white pointer in the middle.
It looked just like a steering wheel. It had hundreds of dashes on it's edges, each one representing a year from 0BC to 2010 AD.
I turned on the keys and set the dial to 66AD.
I wanted to go to the Roman Coliseum to see if I could catch the mythical Gladiatrixes in action in the arena.
The Gladiatrixes were amazing female warriors who fought with swords and shields against animals, other females and men in a fight to the death, without exceptions.
I also wanted to go back in time to savor some ancient Roman wine!
I landed in the coliseum parking lot in the new machine on a sunny July afternoon and I asked someone when I could see the Gladiatrixes fight and he said that I would have to nightfall when the "ladies" usually fought.
He also said that they often fought bare breasted which did wonders for my libido at that point.
To pass the time until the fights I walked down the stony street to the market area.
I found a shop that sold ancient Roman garb. There was a man's kilt on the wall but when I tried it on I found out that it was way too small.
My cock and balls were hanging down in plain sight.
I knew I could'nt buy that thing but I thought to myself that it could have been fun to see the expressions on the ladies' faces as I walked down the street with things "bouncing around".
After messing around for awhile I got back to the coliseum at 9pm,
and I got to see a terrible fight between four female gladiators and two male gladiators.
These girls looked like they were still in their teens and not very well trained in the art of deuling.
I had to sit there and watch as all of these poor girls were slaughtered in a cruel, bloody fashion.
What I saw next was something I did'nt expect. Her name was Helena, an expierenced warrior who knew how to fence and parry and was never afraid to kill someone.
In the space of an hour she slayed five men, three tigers and a boar. I had never seen such a display of ferocious swordsmanship
in my life. www.laluzdejesus.com/shows/previousshows...unders/saunders3.jpg
After this exciting night of action I realized that I lost the keys to the time machine!
I went back to the coliseum parking and I realized that the machine was gone.