OK, imagine if a bunch of female bodybuilders, figure and fitness competitors held a fundraiser car wash. A whole gang of them! A whole passle of musclegirls available to wash your car.
It happened. It really happened. In June. In Phoenix.
Diana Tinnelle arranged one for her "Diamond Girlz" group, but apparently didn't tell anyone.
If I'd known, I would have done two things:
I would have promoted it here on Amaz0ns and
Embarked upon the following course of action:
Fly out to Phoenix
Rent a car
Buy a bucket
Mix dirt and water in bucket to make mud
Muddy up my rental car like it spent all winter at the bottom of the Great Salt Lake
Allow mud to dry under hot Arizona sun
Repeat prior three steps until car looks like pre-Columbian adobe hut
Smoke a joint to slow down my perception of time
Smoke another joint to reeeaaaaally slow down my perception of time
Drive over to the car wash in my mud-caked rental car
Sit in the car and watch as bikini-clad musclegirls slosh their hot, hard, soapy bodies back and forth over my rental Chevy shitbox
Pay them to do it a second time while I watch from the outside
Sign over the contents of my 401(K) so that they let me hang out nearby with a pair of binoculars for the rest of the day.
But for some reason nobody thought to publicize the event. In the words of Dr. Strangelove upon realizing that the Soviets had kept their doomsday weapon a secret, "Why didn't you tell the world, EH?"
