Indeed, Fly! One needs to feel a woman's natural breast... the feel of a... uh.. bag of sand!
(An imaginary cookie to the first person who identifies what I was referring to just now!)
Dunno about the "bag of sand" reference directly, but I do remember years and years and etc. etc. ago,
National Lampoon ran a "Photo Funnies" installment featuring a guy in bed with a girl who had huuuuuge "tracts o' land". He wanted to start foreplay by feeling her breasts, and she was all like, Okay, but I don't see why you're so fascinated by them; they're just oversized fat glands and they feel like "sockfuls of warm mud" on my chest... and she continues like this until the guy is just so grossed out he doesn't want to do it anymore (and she wonders why).