I don't know why I didn't try here earlier? can anyone lead me to a link or help me understand the gradient map In Photoshop? I have tried and tried to implement it and I am just plain tired of failing. Is there a good coloring technique that doen't rely on it for photoshop or must I go some more rounds?

As I understand it, the Gradient map works like so:

You make an image in black and white and gray, filling in shadows to your heart's content. 
Then you make a new adjustment layer, setting it to Gradient map-
Then you can select a gradient or make one of your own- running from a dark color at the left to a light one on the right ( you can add in other colors in between to make the gradient look juicier). 
This gradient map layer will then alter the look of your gray scale image- the darkest parts will be the left end colors of your gradient, the lightest color will be the the right end colors of your gradient, and the various grays between will be the blended middle colors of your gradient. 

This is hard to explain without pictures- I recommend looking at Yuni's tutorial on this- over here: http://yuni.deviantart.com/art/Coloring-technique-61468467 (just click on he next buttons at the bottom to get through it.)

SinD-
Alternatively, you can try a more painterly approach to coloring artwork- here: http://www.mangarevolution.com/tutorial_display.php?tutorial_id=23
is a pretty good tutorial on this subject.
At any rate, I wish you luck with it!