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Author Topic: New story - Temples and Trolls  (Read 491 times)
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El_Roy_1999
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« on: Oct 02, 2008, 04:48 PM »
Hi everyone!

I just posted the finished version of one of my stories at brawna. I hope you like it, I'd be very thankful for comments, critique and ideas for improvement.
Here's the link:

http://brawna.org/stories/temples-and-trolls

Enjoy!

R
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ratlaf
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« Reply #1 on: Oct 03, 2008, 02:27 PM »
Duuuuude!!!  Very nice so far.  I'm only at Chapter 10 but I'm hooked!

One critique, it's a bit hard to follow who is saying what without quotes and some indicators of who's saying that particular line.  You don't have to identify every piece of dialog but maybe every third or fourth, just to keep any confusion as to who's saying what to a minimum.

I'm looking forward to reading the rest...  Grin
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El_Roy_1999
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« Reply #2 on: Oct 03, 2008, 06:54 PM »
Thank you!
I'll see if I can rework as soon as I have the time!
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