Buffy the Vampire Slayer – "A New Wish"

Maybe we could receive another part of this very, very, very promising adventure?

Well, it was intended as a one-off but what the hey, you twisted my arm! 😉

DISCLAIMER: These characters are the property of Mutant Enemy. This fan fiction uses parts of the episode "The Wish" which was written by Marti Noxon. I did not create the characters nor the scenario that inspired my take. Thank you for reading.

Although her mass and size had gone through the roof, Cordelia had a surprising speed. She simply ran through the first two vampires, knocking them to the floor and staking them in one quick, efficient movement. The rest of the horde – some six or seven thugs – stood off her, contemplating the severely muscled-up beauty with some fear. She slowed down and walked seductively towards them, tossing her long mane of hair out of the way. "Do you know who you're dealing with?" she asked politely. They nodded. "The Über-Slayer," one said. Cordelia's eyes shone. "The Über-Slayer," she said to herself. "I like the sound of that." Addressing the group once more, she said, "Right first time. Don't worry – I'll make it quick."

The goons had practically lined up to meet her. Cordelia roundhoused the first and knocked him into the rest with such force that the rest of them flew full on into the wall. The squad staggered to its feet, stunned from the one simple knock-on blow. Cordelia profited from the confusion to stake them all with ease. She had not even broken a sweat; in fact, she felt that she hadn't exerted herself at all. "This body could come in very handy," she gloated. Eight little piles of dust began to shift and float away on the breeze. She brushed her hands. "That was easy," she crowed. She stood in the alley, the only living specimen of perfect feminine musculature. A long mane of dark brown hair decorated a back as wide as a car. Cordelia's breasts were backed up by pectoral muscles like basketballs. Each of her enormous, jutting abs was perfectly stacked underneath, her large obliques keeping them in shape. Her waist flared into legs as thick as the largest tree, lined with muscles so large and thick that Cordelia could have crushed reinforced concrete using them. Her butt was like two of the most beautiful, ripe fleshy peaches. Her calves were throbbing bulges of extreme and pure power. Cordelia's arms were immense: several layers of thick, dense, perfect muscle coated them from top to bottom. Her biceps were as big as footballs, even unflexed. Every part of her awe-inspiring body was impossibly powerful. Nothing on Earth could even make a dent on her skin, except herself. Nothing could stop her and she felt it from the tips of her toes through to the ends of her hair.

After a few moments coming to terms with that realisation, another thought struck her. "I wonder what Giles will have to say about this attack?" With that, the Über-Slayer headed in the direction of the school library, idly twirling her stake in her hand and not noticing the slight cracks her footfalls made on the pavement.

The sight of the enormous babe striding towards the library attracted more than a few stares. Cordelia only returned those of the biggest, strongest-looking guys. They got her million dollar smile and an instant erection. Once she reached the grounds of the school, Cordelia smiled to herself. "This is awesome," she sighed happily. "I'm back where I belong – the biggest babe on campus." She laughed at her unintentional joke. "In more ways than one!" She strode confidently into the library. Sure enough, Giles was still in there, pottering away with his precious books. At his side were Willow and Oz, each with a large and dusty volume of some forgotten lore in their laps and reading with absorbed expressions on their faces.

"Hello, gang!" Cordelia smiled, striding with supreme confidence into the room. "I just offed nine vampires," she announced, standing triumphantly on the opposite side of the desk to where the gang were reading. "Er. Good for you," said Giles. "I still really wish you would, er, do something about your attire. It's, um, totally unsuitable for a vampire slayer." He removed his glasses and began to polish them. "Oh, but, Giles," she pouted, "it's bikini season. And, don't you think I've got just the body for it?" she teased, pushing her gargantuan chest out and wiggling her hips. Giles frowned.

"Er, be that as it may," he said, looking uncomfortably at her, "don't you think it's rather, er, obvious?" Cordelia put on her "Duh!" look. "How can I hide this body away?!" she exclaimed, gesturing down at herself. "She's got a point," Oz agreed. "You couldn't hide her in the biggest sweatshirt in town." Cordelia moved to change the subject when she saw Willow go nearly the same shade of red as the killer bikini she was wearing.

"So, er," she said, having to think on her feet. "I had one of those weird dreams we vampire slayers sometimes get last night. I can only remember two names. Er, has anyone heard of Buffy Summers?" Giles and the others looked blank and slowly shook their heads. "No," admitted Giles. "I've not heard that name before." "Score!" thought Cordelia. "She must never have had to move from Hemery to come here!" Aloud she said, "And, the other one was… Anya?" Again the gang shook their heads. "No, I've not heard of anyone with that name either," said Giles. "Are you sure it was a dream?" he inquired. Cordelia noticed he was looking at the pendant very intently. "Er," she stumbled. "Maybe it was just a regular dream?" she shrugged. "Anyway, I'm off to the Bronze," she continued, smiling widely. "Who's with me?"

Giles looked very put out. "No, you have a duty to patrol tonight! You know that earlier today I discovered that there had been a massive, er, discharge of magical energy. I want you to make sure that this town is safe! In every generation there is a chosen one. She alone will stand against the vampires!" he insisted. "Yes," said Cordelia, "she is the Slayer. Yada, yada, yada. Can't you get some new material?" she pouted, putting a massive hand on her unbelievably-sized hip. "Anyway," she wondered, "how come I'm an Über-Slayer? What's the deal with that?" Giles blushed and looked away. "As you know, Cordelia, it's unprecedented in the whole of recorded Slayer lore. You seem to have twice the strength of a 'normal' Slayer and all the muscularity that goes with it." Cordelia grinned. "So if I wanted to go to the Bronze, you wouldn't be able to stop me?" Giles seemed to consider looking angry at her but thought better of it. "No," he conceded. "But I want you to stay alert!" Cordelia grinned widely at him. "I knew you'd come around to my way of thinking!" With that, she turned on her heel and strode out of the room.

"Giles," said Willow timidly. "I don't think that's our Cordelia." Giles nodded. "I'm fairly sure you're right. She wasn't wearing that pendant when she left here, was she?" The others shook their heads. "Follow her," Giles ordered. "I've got an idea about her new jewellery but I'll need to find the right text." Willow and Oz agreed to the plan and followed their friend out of the door.

"Hey, Cordelia, wait!" cried Willow as she spotted the hulking beauty walking out of the school gates. "We're coming with!" Oz hollered. Cordelia stopped and grinned. "Hurry up!" she yelled back. "I've got guys to seduce!" They caught up and the trio set off for the club of choice. Cordelia couldn't help herself. "So, where's Xander?" she inquired innocently. Oz and Willow were having to jog to keep up with her but when Cordelia spoke they both stopped and stared. Cordelia had gone on a couple of enormous strides before she realised that they'd stopped. She span to face them and saw looks of sadness on their faces.

"Cordelia…" Oz began. Willow burst into tears. Oz frowned and moved to hug his girlfriend. She practically collapsed onto him. He made shushing noises and stroked her hair. Cordelia looked very worried. "What did I say?" Oz looked up at her. "Xander's in the same place he's been for the past two years," Oz said. "The cemetery."

DISCLAIMER: These characters are the property of Mutant Enemy. This fan fiction uses parts of the episode "The Wish" which was written by Marti Noxon. I did not create the characters nor the scenario that inspired my take. Thank you for reading.

Cordelia stood very still. A whole range of emotions were bubbling up in her super-powered body. She was surprised to find that sadness and grief were uppermost. Oz was still trying to comfort the sobbing Willow. Cordelia reached a decision. She put her hands on her mighty hips and tried to find a way to frame the question. "How did it happen?" she asked quietly. Willow stopped crying and sniffed. "Don't you remember?" Cordelia shook her head and tried to invent an excuse for her behaviour – for not being the Cordelia of this world, a true heroine, and not the flouncing charlatan she was.

"I just… Well, I bumped my head yesterday, and I keep forgetting stuff." Oz and Willow stared at the titanic girl. "It's true!" she said. Oz seemed to realise it would be better to be on the right side of someone whose bicep was bigger than his head and nodded. "OK, sure," he said, "we can explain on the way to the Bronze." Cordelia shook her head, making the muscles on her neck dance. "We're not going to the Bronze," she said decisively. "We're going to visit Xander's grave." With that, she headed straight for Sunnydale's largest cemetery. Oz and Willow followed.

They walked in silence for a couple of minutes, Oz and Willow trotting to keep up with their gigantic friend. Willow explained: "When you first got your calling, Xander, Giles and I were the only ones who knew. Somehow," she laughed at the memory, "we managed to pass off your, er, expansion as a gland problem." Oz chuckled. "Anyway, you saved Xander and me when the Master first tried to rise." Cordelia shuddered. Her only encounter with the Master had been seeing his bones in the library. "Later that year, the Master did rise. He knew how strong you were, how you were unique. He kidnapped Xander, who you were dating, knowing you'd go to rescue him." She paused. "So you left to find him. Alone. When you found the Master, he had Xander by his side. He was a vampire." Cordelia shuddered again. Some small part of her was saying, "We dated?! In this universe, where I could have anyone I wanted?" Most of her was just overcome with grief. "You – said you – had to kill him," Willow continued, with some difficulty, "and then killed the Master. We all felt so low," she finished. "How come you can't remember that?"

Cordelia decided to level with them. "I'm not your Cordelia," she said quietly. "I mean, I might look like her," she paused to look down at her mammoth body, "but I'm not her. I can't explain right now," she finished lamely. Oz nodded. He knew what it was to keep secrets. The team had reached the cemetery. "I'll lead the way," he said.

They made their way through the headstones in silence. Cordelia was desperate to return to her world now. "Maybe Giles will know how to do it," she thought, her face brightening. "We're here," Oz announced quietly and stepped out of the way to allow Cordelia to see. The superwoman fell to her knees, sinking into the ground a little. "Oh, Xander," she cried, tears running down her cheeks. "I never meant for this to happen." Streams of tears fell from Cordelia's face. Willow and Oz didn't know what to do, so they put an arm around each other and watched. A minute or so later, Cordelia wiped her face and put on a determined expression. "We're going to see Giles," she said commandingly, "and find a way to get me home."

Meanwhile, Giles was still looking for mystical pendants. He had found several references to pendants in numerous volumes and couldn't narrow it down. "Blast!" he said, slamming his hand on yet another book which mentioned pendants. "I need more information!" "I think I can help," said Cordelia, arriving behind him. He span on the spot. "Cordelia!" he exclaimed. "What do you mean?" She unclasped the pendant and handed it to him. "I can tell you how I got this one-of-a-kind item."

Cordelia told the stunned gang how she had wished the world was like this. When she finished, Giles slapped his forehead. "Of course!" he cried, "a vengeance demon! She granted you the wish and the pendant created this world in accordance." He rifled through the books on his desk. Once he found the one he wanted, he held it aloft and thumbed through it to the appropriate page. "Yes… yes! Here." He then quoted direct from the text: "'In order to defeat Anyanka, one must destroy her power centre. This should reverse all the wishes she's granted, rendering her mortal and powerless again.'" He paused. "That must mean this pendant!"

"Correct," said an unearthly voice. All four turned to greet it. Cordelia gasped. It was Anya, in her human form, but she was barely recognisable. If Cordelia was huge then Anya was simply colossal. She was now seven feet tall but the changes didn't end there. Her neck was as thick as a bull's. She was as wide as a truck with breasts the size of basketballs, hovering serenely in front of pecs only a shade smaller. She was wearing a black catsuit and her huge erect nipples threatened to burst holes through it. Her shoulders were as big as pumpkins and they lead down to arms that were to die for. Biceps like crash helmets bulged leeringly at the group before smoothly turning into forearms like three telegraph poles tied together. At first glance it looked like her stomach was spilling over with fat but, in grim reality, it was her insanely large abs. Each improbable muscle, roughly the size of a watermelon, bulged and shifted under her suit as Anya breathed. Next came thighs capable of crushing diamonds; twin sets of muscles the size of small cars made Cordelia swallow. They lead to calves that were 'merely' enormous, coated in high-heeled boots that only served to accentuate the tower of strength above. Cordelia put on an air of bravado.

"So," she said, and couldn't help but put a note of fear in her voice as the others cowered behind her, "are you a demon or a beach hut?" Anya's lip curled as she started to approach slowly. "I like this world," she said. "It's wrong. Demons like me like wrong." Her fabulous muscles moved in perfect harmony as she approached, heels clicking eerily on the floor. "I knew how strong you were," she said, "so I made myself…" She stopped, ten feet away from the group. "… better." She raised her arms and flexed both biceps. Impossible, towering muscles appeared from her arms. They had to be at least 50 inches around. Cordelia swallowed again. "Good thing I'm smarter than you, then," she said and, without warning, charged the flexing demoness. Her speed caught Anya by surprise – or it would have done, had Cordelia not simply bounced off the evil amazon's body. Dazedly Cordelia looked up at her foe, whose chest was still bouncing from the collision. She was looking at her fingernails nonchalantly.

"You'll have to do better than that, Über-Slayer," she sneered. She hit Cordelia on the side of the head so hard that she crashed through the wall and landed in a heap outside. Anya bore down on her prey. Cordelia got to her feet and backed off. The demoness followed, increasing her pace. The Über-Slayer, still backing away from the vengeful powerhouse, lifted the stake she had used to such great effect earlier. "I've got a stake and I'm not afraid to use it!" she cried, her voice cracking. The others were peering cautiously out at the fight. Anya caught up to Cordelia, who dodged left and ran around her foe's right side, raising her stake as she did so. The wood splintered on contact and both women watched as a pile of sawdust formed on the ground.

"I am invulnerable," Anya whispered. "You will never defeat me." Cordelia turned tail and ran to the parking lot. Anya followed, keeping the same pace, enjoying the thrill of the hunt. Willow turned to Giles and Oz. "She's gonna be killed!" she gasped. Giles, to her surprise, shook his head. "She has a plan," he said confidently.

There was only one car left in the lot: Giles' Citroen. Cordelia crouched down, her incredible leg muscles shifting with the smoothness of pistons, and lifted the car. She shifted it around in her hands to get a good grip. Just as Anya rounded the corner, Cordelia threw. She hit the oncoming behemoth square in the head and both demon and machine crashed to the ground. Cordelia pumped her fists in relief when the noise subsided and Anya did not emerge. Nervously she walked towards the wreck. She stood over the scene and looked down at Anya's still form. The demoness' eyes were closed and she looked strangely at peace. Cordelia turned away to signal to the others that everything was OK.

The heroine had just opened her mouth to shout the others when a hand grasped her neck and stopped her short. She felt her body being lifted off the ground. "Invulnerable," a steely voice whispered in her ear. "All that time spent on the beach when you could have been finding out what these big long words mean." Anya hoisted Cordelia into the air. Her catsuit had ripped down the side, showing a good view of Anya's left-sided obliques and small portions of her immense abs. There was another tear at chest level, revealing Anya's proud right breast; her huge pink nipple the length and thickness of Cordelia's thumb, her areola the size of a saucer. Cordelia had enough time to notice the effect she'd had on the demon when she was thrust, full-force, through the wall. Anya pulled her back out of the hole she created, and screamed, "Like!" before ramming Cordelia's body through an intact section of the wall. She pulled the Über-Slayer out again and yelled "Invincible!" in her ear. The demoness moved to another untouched part of the wall and Cordelia went through again. Bruises were appearing all over her body. Her bikini top had ripped off, exposing her comparatively small yet still super-powered chest to the night air. Despite the astounding muscles her wish had given to her, Cordelia had never felt more helpless. "Unbeatable!" came Anya's third cry before Cordelia crashed through the wall again. The building was becoming unstable. Sensing this, Anya threw the broken heroine into the school and yelled a blood-curdling "ALL-POWERFUL!" as the building collasped on top of Cordelia.

Slowly Cordelia clawed her way out of the rubble. She was not bleeding but her body was a long procession of throbbing aches and psychedelic bruises. Eventually she emerged, coughing and in some pain, from the debris. The pendant which Anya craved so badly was still intact. The demoness was standing, hands on massive hips, watching Cordelia intently. Still defiant, the heroine grasped the pendant with both hands. "You want this?" she managed, through puffed-up lips. "Come – and – get it." With that, she undid the clasp and dangled it mockingly at her foe. Anya strode imperiously toward the Über-Slayer, crushing the wreckage beneath her feet as she did so. Just as she was within reach, Cordelia jumped back a few feet. Anya raised an eyebrow. "You know you've lost," she crowed. "You still haven't got the pendant," said Cordelia, flicking it slowly back and forth, like an old-fashioned hypnotist with a pocket watch. "I will have my power centre back," Anya stated and went for Cordelia again. Once more the heroine jumped back at the final minute, muscles stretching and releasing in perfect time. Anya's anger was beginning to boil over. "You can't do that forever!" she cried and ran for the Über-Slayer. A third time Cordelia jumped out of the way. Anya roared with frustration that this simple tactic was beating her. She charged her enemy, who this time did not move. Anya made a grab for the pendant. Cordelia swung it out of the way. She reached to grab it again and once more Cordelia moved it away from her grasp. The evil amazon glared at her opponent. She moved for the pendant again, this time grabbing it with all her strength.

There was a sound like glass being smashed.

Anya looked in horror at the triumphant Über-Slayer as shards of the green jewel that had been her power centre fell from her hands like other-worldly snow. The superdemon collapsed to her knees, causing the concrete of the parking lot to crack under her immense weight. Her own strength had beaten her. Cordelia grinned at her beaten foe. "Told you I was – " The world flashed white.

"I wish I was twice as strong as Buffy and it showed," Cordelia said. Anya turned to face her. "Done." Nothing happened. Cordelia grinned. "That would be cool! No, wait. I wish Buffy Summers had never come to Sunnydale." "Done!" Anya said, increasingly worried that her magic wasn't working. Cordelia was clearly enjoying her role; so much so that she failed to hear Anya. "And I wish that Xander Harris never again knows the touch of a woman. And that Willow wakes up tomorrow covered in monkey hair." Anya, now exasperated, said "Done!"

"In fact, I wish all men except maybe the dumb and the really agreeable kind disappear off the face of the Earth. That would be so cool!" She paused. "Or maybe…"

Thanks to http://www.buffyworld.com/buffy/season3/transcripts/43_tran.shtml for providing the transcript that I worked from and thanks to you for reading! 😉