Goodbye

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  • #57241
    cpbell0033944
    Participant

    I'd just like to say thanks to all the wonderful, supportive people here for the friendship you've shown me since last December.  I'm afraid to say, though, that this is goodbye.  I don't want to discuss why, but I have to cure myself of this fetish.  I wish it had never happened.
    Best wishes,
    Chris Bell.

    #57242
    Cowprobe
    Participant

    Though I'd replace 'cure' with 'aggressively sublimate'.  😉

    Good luck fellow and may reality be enriched by the thoughtful and articulate presence you brought to our nook of the internet.

    #57243
    Prophet Tenebrae
    Participant

    I'm not really sure you can be "cured" of a fetish… you can ignore it or repress it but barring intensive psychological conditioning, it'll probably still be there… It's not quite like trying "pray the gay away" but it's not so far away.

    Anyway, shame you have to leave – tata.

    #57244
    fasola
    Participant

    Cp, it is hard to see you leave. Your post were shure nice to read. I think prophet and cowprobe put it well, you can't just drop your likings because you have to.
    Farewell my friend, and may this be just temporarelly.

    #57245
    Lingster
    Keymaster

    Everybody's got a kink.  It could be the color purple, assless pants, feet, auto-erotic asphyxiation, sex in elevators or any one of an almost infinite variety of fetishes.

    Here at Amaz0ns we like strong women.  There's little sense in being ashamed of it because shame won't "fix" you and this fetish doesn't hurt anyone.

    I don't know if cpbell will come back or not – most do but his situation is unique.  I went through the same thing in my mid-20s, but obviously it didn't stick.  Eventually I learned that "normal" is not a small, fixed point, but rather a fairly broad range of behavior.  Being attracted to strong or athletic women is very normal – being primarily attracted to strong or athletic women is a little off to one side, but still within the range of healthy sexual preferences.

    #57246
    Mimi
    Participant

    [font=Times New Roman]~Mimi[/size”>

    #57247
    cpbell0033944
    Participant

    I don't know what to say…your words are all so touching. :'(  Thanks for your thoughts and best wishes. 8)
    How can I explain what happened yesterday?  I don't honestly think I can without writing a veritable essay, so please bear with me.

    I've always lacked self-confidence.  Perhaps being disabled didn't help, but I know that others in my family also have similar problems.  Now, I just want to make this clear to everybody; I'm not saying this because I want or expect sympathy (I don't), but it probably is necessary for me to mention it so that I can explain what's happened.  Now, combine that lack of self-confidence with a tendency to get depressed (it's not clinical depression, and I know we all have times when we get a bit low) and things start getting a bit tricky.  I had a spell when I was in my early teens when I had very low times, my self-esteem was at rock bottom, and, whilst I manage much better now, I still have days when I just feel like s***.  Fortunately, these aren't too frequent, and I have largely managed to control the lack of self-confidence issue, (studying at University and meeting many diverse people helped greatly, as did the pride I felt when I graduated – I certainly could never have even contemplated being a part of something like Amaz0ns before then) but I had the mother of all lows last night.  I panicked that my father was hinting that he didn't approve of me doing this, as I think he knows.  The stupid thing is, I know that he's blunt and to-the-point, and, if he really strongly disapproved, he'd tell me straight.  Anyway, this all prompted me to slip into one of my more destructive habits; I question everything about myself, who I am, what I like and don't like, etc.  I don't know whether it's subconscious attention-seeking or narcissism or what the hell it is; all I do know is that it's NOT good for me.  I convinced myself that, not only did my father think I was depraved, but that I actually WAS depraved because of my love of muscular women.  How stupid can you get?! ::)

    Then, something really weird happened.  I always read before I go to sleep, and I was reading a very nerdish book about railways (I'm definitely geekish), when I found myself daydreaming, and staring at my bedroom doorway (I was in bed at the time).  In my daydream, I saw Debra Haley walk into my bedroom, stop, look at me and then do the most incredible front double biceps flex.  Now, I suspect that this means that I truly am bonkers(lol), because we all daydream, but not about Debra Haley!  Anyway, as I snapped out of my daydream, I realised that, well, let me put this in a family-friendly manner – I realised that I was extremely aroused by my daydream.  Not only was I extremely aroused, but my blue funk had lifted and I was completely convinced that I was NOT depraved or anything of the sort, but that, as a twentysomething  heterosexual male I find women sexy, but that one of the things that I find sexiest of all is if a woman is strong or muscular.  I very definitely do find non-muscular women sexy as well, particularly if I like their personality, sense of humour, etc. and they happen to be curvy, (skinny doesn't do anything for me other than bring out my paternal instincts and make me want to give her a good healthy meal) so it's not actually a fetish, because I do find non-muscular women attractive as well.  Anyway, I must at this point deeply apologise for saying that I'm going to leave (particularly to Lingster who was dead right when he told me I was being stupid).  I've now explained to the best of my ability why it happened, and I assure you that I find my behaviour yesterday extremely embarrassing, but what's done is done and I hope you're not too mad at me, but I'M STAYING RIGHT WHERE I AM!  You can't get rid of me that easily. ;D

    This is post # 999 from me.  I had been planning to make post #1000 a thank you to all the friends I've made here, but, thanks to be being a prat, I'm doing it one post early.  Thanks to Lingster for running a brilliant place for all us who society deem to be weird in actually appreciating a woman who isn't dependent on men to look after her, and for putting up with me arguing politics with him.  Thanks to AlexG, Mimi, stmercy, Fett and many others for showing me friendship and cavalcades of beautiful, stunning maidens of femuscle who I would never otherwise have discovered.  And finally, thanks to zeartist/Jon Davis, for giving me the opportunity to let rip and being my verbal punchbag! (JOKE!) ;D

    Here's to Amaz0ns – to continued success, to the pleasure it brings, and, just maybe, to a future where society doesn't tell it's teenage female members that they should try and shrink themselves because they mustn't be allowed to challenge the chest-thumping He-Men.  Here's to strong, confident, fulfilled women everywhere! 8)

    #57248
    stmercy2020
    Participant

    rises from chair, clears throat…

    "Ahem.  Everybody hear me, then?  In the back?

    "Good.

    "A toast- and forgive me, cause I'm terrible at these things-

    "To confident and strong women and men- the type of people we wnat to know and the type of people we want to be.  May we always see and strive for examples of that power and beauty in everything we do.

    "To honesty and wisdom- virtues often lacking is modern society.  May we keep them alive by being true not only to others, but to ourselves as well.

    "and to cpbell.  Welcome back."

    raises his whisky and drinks.

    #57249
    cpbell0033944
    Participant

    There can be no greater way to step, with spirits renewed, over the milennial threshold than this.
    <Raises his Glencairn glass and toasts with fine Bunnahabhain the sentiments of his dear friend stmercy and thanks him for his wise and kind words.  "To confident and strong women and men, to honesty and wisdom…and to being back.">

    #57250
    MaxxC
    Participant

    The way I see it, being attracted to both muscular and non-muscular women means that you're attracted to more varieties of women. So, "More women I say, more! more! MORE!"  ;D

    And yeah, glad you came to those realizations. I too had to come to realizations earlier. It all makes it more comfortable to talk openly and publicly about stuff like this you know?

    Glad you're not leaving… and I like the pic in the avatar. :p

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