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That’s because those are top of the line Stark Industries Mark IX Performance Grade Implants my friend. Yes whether you’re battling giant dragons, villanous criminal masterminds deep in the heart of Latveria dancing around a pole or simply out for a night on the town you want implants that aren’t going to move, throw off your sense of balance, and send you tumbling either to the ground or to your death!! That’s why the latest Mark IX implants are designed to stay where they’re put no matter what sort of stress you put on them. Jogging? Swimming? Zero-G combat? Nothing can defeat the gold titanium nano mesh fibers that help our implants hold their shape! So the next time you or someone you know are thinking about adding a little something to enhance your figure, remember Stark Industries, they may not make you Iron Man but they’ll certainly turn your man to Iron 😉
side effects may include alcoholism, the urge to sleep with anything that has a vagina, and an insane desire to have everyone register with the government. If you experience any of these symptoms for longer then 3 months please consult a writer about having your memory wiped thus absolving you of any responsibility for your actions.
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