[demented20]

Sorry for the delay, but business finally got busy. Thanks again for all the kind comments and the kind criticisms. Here's part 3 Enjoy!

Big All Over part 3

The sunlight streamed in giving every room an energized yellow glow as Roger walked into the apartment that he and his girlfriend Megan now shared.  Normally Roger would announce his presence, and Megan would rush up to him.  It seemed everyday that she was just as happy to see him as the day before.  This time though, Roger said nothing.  He walked through the light towards the back of the apartment.  He chewed the inside of his jaw as he came further into the apartment.  He rounded a corner, came down a hall, and there she was, dancing to the music coming from her headphones.  Relief, peace, appreciation, and love came over Roger as he stood there looking at Megan move to music that only she could hear.
The world was often so ugly, so corrupt, and so mean, but here was a woman who seemed above it all, or rather outside it all.  Roger had described it like the sun shined on her 24 hours a day no matter what as going on around her, and if you stayed near her long enough, the sun would start to shine on you too.  There was connection to the joy of life inside Megan that most other people just didn't have.
Megan had been organizing her teaching material for the next week of classes, when she turned around to find something that she had set down, and saw Roger.  She smiled the warmest smile and pulled the phones from her head.  "Sneaking up on me?", she asked.
"I don't know, maybe", Roger replied and shrugged his shoulders.  He was still locked in that state between reality and emotion.
Megan glanced up at him and put some papers in her folder.  "Why are you looking like that?", she asked.
"You're best thing that's ever happened to me, Megan.  Sometimes I just can't believe its real."
She tilted her head and came over to him before stretching up and kissing him passionately and gently.  Roger put his arm around her.  "Real enough?", she asked.
"I love you, Megan."
"I love you too, silly creeping boyfriend guy."  She laughed and pulled herself away.
Roger chuckled at himself.  "Hey, take it easy on me.  Sometimes even a shallow guy like me gets introspective."
Megan turned with a frown.  "You're not shallow.  You just think that somehow you aren't worthy, but isn't that my decision to make?"
Roger looked at the floor and nodded.  "It most certainly is."
"Good.  Now that my free will has been reestablished in this relationship, you can get dressed for the gym.  You know what happens when I don't get my workout in."
Roger pulled himself from his emotional haze and headed towards the bedroom rubbing his neck.  The last time, Megan had missed a workout, it had been his fault.  Her biceps had revolted, and she had been forced to squeeze him with her arms until her biceps had become thoroughly tired.  Roger didn't want to go through that again.
Steele's Fitness was located in a purpose built building with everything a person needed to train and none of the crap they didn't need.  It was for people who were serious.  They didn't all have to be bodybuilders or competitive athletes, but people who were there for the wrong reasons didn't last long.  Ronnie Steele and his wife, Keisha, wanted it that way.  Roger and Megan walked into the door and Ronnie saw them right away.
"There's my favorite girl!", Ronnie called and came from behind the information desk.  He hugged Megan.  "And look who you made show his face again?"
She was all smiles.  "I told you I'd bring him back."
"Yeah, yeah, you did.  I hate to say I didn't believe you.  I thought Roger was afraid to come back where the real people stay fit."
"Hey, I wasn't afraid.  Just waiting on the right time."
Ronnie laughed and slapped his thigh.  Nothing at all jiggled.  Ronnie was a jovial guy and it was a good thing because he was about 6'3", 250 pounds of solid ex-NFL linebacker.
"Glad to have you back, lets get you signed up."
Megan started towards the locker room.  "I'll catch up with you later", she told Roger and bounced off to towards the back.
Roger watched her go.  She was wearing black spandex pants that showed off her lower body.  Roger could think of nothing other than wrapping his arms around her legs until Ronnie brought him out of his day dream with a slap on the back.
"Man, Keisha and me can't thank you enough for sending that girl to our gym."
"Excuse me?", Roger asked while he filled out his updated personal information for a new membership.
"Yeah, ever since Megan's been here, we've signed up a boatload of new members, men and women.  The guys join cause they think they got a shot at her, and the women want to find out how the hell she got to look like that.  She's great with everybody, especially the woman who come in a little overweight.  She starts them out on a routine for free, and she has higher retention rates for those women than even the personal trainers who specialize in that stuff.  Megan's a walking gold mine.  You're a lucky man, Roger."
Roger nodded and looked up.  "Tell me about it."
After getting all the paper work signed and the check written, Ronnie got Roger set up with a training group that was about at his fitness level.  Roger looked around the area as he came in.  There was a few pieces of new equipment, but the place looked very similar familiar.  The weights area wasn't even packed.  There were some serious bodybuilding guys working in one corner and some more guys who had just started exercising.  There were a group of teenage boys in there too.  Ronnie took Roger to a group of five guys who were just about to get started.  The group included four guys who came to the gym regularly, and one other new guy named John.  One of the regulars named Mike used to be a personal trainer there at Steele's, and he really knew his stuff.  Everybody introduced themselves quickly.
"Oh!  So you're the guy Megan keeps telling us about?", Rick, one of the guys exclaimed.
Roger nodded.  "Yeah, that's me.  You look disappointed", he joked.
Mike laughed.  "Yeah, we'd expected Don fucking Juan."
Roger chuckled.  "Instead you get Joe fucking Blow.  I understand."
The guys laughed with him.  "Its not like we're calling you, Quasimodo or anything", Paul began.
Roger nodded.  "I do clean up good."
The guys laughed again, but John was confused.  "Who the hell is Megan?", he asked.
Mike tapped John on the shoulder then pointed over his shoulder.  "That's Megan."
She was walking from the locker room area, and the six guys all turned and looked in unison.  She came out seemingly oblivious to their stares.  She had changed into a tight, low cut, apricot colored sports bra that showed off her lean midsection, her sculpted arms and shoulders, but it absolutely framed her chest.  Megan worked hard to keep her body in proportion, but her breasts were large already and the muscles that lurked beneath her skin made her chest that much more impressive.  As wonderful as her upperbody was, her lower body could not go unnoticed.  She had taken off her black pants and replaced them with a pair of blue compression shorts that sat low on her waist and showed off the beautiful sweep of her thighs and the roundness and firmness of her backside.  Roger could have told the guys that her body was as strong as it looked, but it was none of their business.  Megan continued into the weight room like she had no cares at all.  She ended up near the wall and pulled on her lifting gloves before she started stretching.
"That's your girl?"  John seemed incredulous.
Roger sighed then looked up at John.  "Blows my mind too."
After the talk of Megan subsided a little, the men got into their workout.  They were going to do a total body workout, and not take it too intense to help break in the new guys.  After warming up on the bikes, Roger and his partner headed towards the bench press.  Roger didn't try to break any personal bests on weight, he just stayed in a comfort range with his lifting partner.  He had worked up a decent sweat by the time they had done a couple of sets on the bench.  They moved on to curls and met up with the rest of the group over there.  Roger was doing pretty well.  He wasn't in the best shape of the group, but he was pretty close to the best shape of his life.
Five of the six guys in the group were focused on their workout, but John couldn't get his mind off of Megan.  He stole glances whenever he got an opportunity.  He watched as she went from one exercise to another alone.  The guys said that she had two very fine training partners who were awol this evening.  John wasn't sure if the two missing women were as beautiful as Megan or not, but it didn't matter.  He could feel the lust inside him.  He had to speak with her.
Megan closed her eyes as she squeezed her biceps at the top of the rep.  Her skin was moist from perspiration, and it made her already chiseled body even more defined.  Megan's face was pressed in concentration and effort as she worked her biceps to failure.  Her muscle fibers burned and flexed as Megan worked her arms again.  They stretched out showing the leanness of Megan's muscles and then her biceps peaked insanely as she held this rep before she brought the weight down again.  One more rep.  Her hands shook and her muscles threatened to quit, but Megan wouldn't let them.  She brought the weight up slowly.  Her eyes narrowed into slits as she fought fatigue to get the bar to the top.  Once there she squeezed the rep for all she it was worth.  Her biceps' peaks flexed up like volcanoes that were about to blow.  Megan glanced down at her crazy peaks before she extended her arms and put the bar in the cradle.  She blew some hair from her face as she caught her breath.  She shook then messaged her arms before she stood up from the curling chair.  She went to the mirror and looked at herself.  Megan always felt a little tinge of vanity when she look at herself in the mirror, but she couldn't help it.  She was so pumped.  She faced the mirror, raised her arms and flexed hard.  Megan was as vascular at this moment as she ever was, and her biceps simply bulged.  With her perfect unflexed proportions it was amazing how her muscles exploded when she was really pumped.
"Oh good gracious", Megan exclaimed under her breath.  She felt larger than life.  She relaxed her flex and let her arms dangle.  She wasn't trying to show off and she wasn't trying to draw lots of attention.  She turned, but tensed her pecs really quickly, just to see and feel them get hard.  She didn't hold the flex for long.  She had a couple of more exercises to do, plus she didn't want any attention, but it was too late.
John peeled away from the rest of the group while Mike went to answer a phone call at the front desk, and Roger went to the locker room for a bathroom break.  John took a long look at Megan, as she readied to do triceps extensions.  He came over towards her.  She had such a wonderful shape.  She had the classic hourglass figure with a healthy dose of female muscle thrown in.  If anyone had asked John yesterday, he would have said that she wasn't his type, but as this fit woman stood right in front of him, she was most certainly his type.
"Can I help you?", Megan asked as John got closer.
"I don't mean any disrespect, but is that guy Roger really your man?"  John had to fight extra hard to keep his eyes on Megan's face.  He failed a couple of times, but she was rather impressed with his self-control.
"Roger's my man", Megan replied with an exaggerated frown.  "I'm sorry…"
"John."
"Well, I'm sorry, John, but this girl is off the market."  She smiled at him and patted him on the arm.
John felt a rush when she touched him.  He laughed.  "Are you sure?  I might be able to show you a good time." 
Megan was smiling at him, but her eyes narrowed just a bit.  "I bet you could show me a great time, John, but what would your wife think?"
The smile fell from John's face, and he raised his hands up.  "Wife?  I don't see a ring on this finger?!?"  He looked like he had no idea what she was talking about.
Megan put her hand on her hip and shook her head.  "How's that for a husband?  First you try and get with me ,and then you deny that you're married all together.  I bet your wife is a really devoted mother and wife too.  She probably irons your clothes in the morning before you even wake up."
John had been trying to keep up his charade, but Megan's last statement broke though.  "How the hell do you know that?"
Megan shrugged her shoulders.  "I didn't until just now."
"Bu– but you got all that stuff right.  How did you even know I was married?  My band got bent a while ago, and I haven't worn it in months.  How the hell did you know?"
Megan had been smiling, but now she showed him one of her more special smiles.  "You wear your ring all over you.  You don't need one on your finger for it to show.  I'm surprised that a guy like you would even try and hit on me."
"I'm sorry.  Well you see, I didn't mean anything by it.  Its just that you're really a beautiful woman, and I-"
Megan held up her hand for him to stop talking.  "Your wife's body isn't the same as it used to be since she's birthed your children.  She's not still pregnant is she?"
John hung his head like a scolded student.  "No, she just had little Eric six months ago."
"She's having a hard time getting the weight off, and you just don't seem to have the same hots for her that you used too?", Megan asked in a soft voice.
John looked up.  "I love my wife, and she's a beautiful woman inside and out.  She looked so sexy after our oldest was born, and she got hot again after our second, but this time…  We still make love, but I'm ashamed to say it, its not the same as it used to be."  John had just met this woman and for some reason it felt completely natural for him to be telling her his inner thoughts.
"Have you told her how you feel?"
"No, of course not!"
Megan inhaled and thought for a moment before putting her hand on John's shoulder.  "What's your wife's name?"
"Marisol."
"Pretty name.  You make up some excuse or whatever, and you get her to come here to this gym.  I don't care what the reason is.  You just make sure Marisol and I get a chance to talk.  I'll take care of the rest."
"You'd do that for her, for us?"
Megan nodded.  "Yeah, I'd love to.  I'm here most every day.  Just make sure we meet."
John agreed and walked back to the group happy and amazed.  He had never been that open with a stranger in his entire life, but he didn't regret a word he had said.
The group was finishing its workout now.  A couple of the guys finished a little early and headed to the showers.  Roger lingered at a smith machine where he, John, and Mike had been doing single leg squats.  It was a movement that Roger had never done before, but he was sure feeling the burn in his quads.  Roger leaned against the side of the machine and looked at the teenagers who were also finishing up their workout.  A couple of those kids were pretty big boys.  They looked like football players while the third kid was a lot smaller in size and height.
Roger looked on as one of the guys got in position under  a loaded bar for a squat.  He did a quick count of the weights, and raised an eyebrow when he finished counting.  That kid was about to attempt 585lbs.  His partners were psyching him up before he took the weight on his broad shoulders.  His legs shook just a little, but he started down with good form then he powered back up.  He wasn't satisfied with one rep, so the 18 year old did another one.  His friends shouted at him as he struggled to take the one step necessary to rack the bar.  His buddies slapped him on the back, but he just leaned against the bar and smiled.
Roger smiled.  He could remember his days as a highschool football player.  He had never gotten close to squatting that much weight, but he had been a pretty fair receiver back in those days.  Roger would wish that he had pulled himself from his daydream just a little sooner than he did, because it would have saved him some pain.  Instead he didn't see the group of rookie lifters start taking the weights off of the bar hanging on the squat rack.  They had taken off 180lbs by the time Roger even glanced up.  He noticed then that the guys had taken 4 plates off of one side and hadn't balanced by taking plates from the other side.  It was an accident waiting to happen.
Roger's partners were finished and started heading to the locker room.  Roger was about to go in with them, but he saw the smaller of the three kids go over by the squat rack to start removing the weights because he too saw how dangerous it was to have an unbalanced bar.  He had started to pull the weights off from outside the rails, but when he touched the bar it had almost turned over.  He pushed it back on and decided to tug the bar a little to center it better so he could get the weights off.  He looked for his two friends, but they weren't close.  It didn't matter.  He would take care of this.  He was just happy that those two had let him come workout with them.  He stepped between the rails and pulled on the bar, but it didn't budge.
Roger saw that and stood up.  He headed over towards the kid.  The word 'stop' was on his lips when the teenager took a good grip and really pulled.  The entire rack lost balance and started over.  The teenager lost balance too.  He tried to use the weight of the bar to help him regain his footing, but instead he pulled it off the rack and towards him.  Roger moved as fast as he could.  The kid was falling towards the rail with the rack and the bar not far behind.  Roger took two long strides and bent down.  He got his shoulders beneath the bar as it fell.  He used the falling rack as best he could.  He felt the weight press down on his shoulders, his back, his knees, and even his ankles.  He pressed up and forward as hard as he could.  He pushed the falling bar against the falling rack and slowed both, but he was in an awkward position, with his left shoulder against the upright member of the squat rack and his right hip pressed against the safety rail with the teenager pinned next to him and a heavy bar on his shoulder.  The rack was still going down.
"Hey, help!", Megan yelled as she sprinted across the room.  She had seen the tail end of the events.  All she knew was that she had to get to Roger.  She jumped over and around equipment.  She was the first one there.  She took in the situation quickly.  For a split second her thoughts were chaotic.  Roger was in too much pain even to scream, while the teenager screamed at the top of his lungs.  Despite the noise and confusion, Megan gathered her thoughts quickly.  She saw that the light side of the bar was still partially in the rack.  She hoped it stayed there.  She ran under the falling squat rack and put her hands and shoulder under the heavy end of the unbalanced bar.  Megan set her teeth on edge and pushed up with all her might.  Every single muscle in Megan's incredible body flexed hard.  Her thighs swelled and bulged out making her compression shorts work extra.  Her abs and her back and her shoulders ballooned with sharp muscle too as the weight stopped falling, but only for a moment.
Sweat poured down Megan's forehead as she pushed up.  Her thighs and calves split and tightened as she pushed harder.  She knew that she could only hold this for so long, but she never got a chance to panic.  The two big teens came over and added their considerable strength to the effort.  Mike and John came back into the room quickly enough to help as well.  In less than half a minute it was all over.
The trapped teen jumped out of the way and paced to the other side of the room trying to calm his racing heart.  Megan put her hands on her knees and gulped in air as quickly as she could.  The two big teens were embarrassed that they hadn't stripped their own bar.  The two rookies who had started the whole mess were no where to be found, and Roger lay on the floor.
"You okay, sweetie?", Megan asked through deep breaths."
"I think so.  I just tweaked my back I think", Roger replied through gritted teeth.
"What the hell happened?!?", Ronnie Steele demanded as he came rushing into the room.
"We have it under control now, Ronnie", Megan began.  She stood up straight and put her hand on his massive upper arm to steady herself.  "We really could have used you about a minute ago though."  She smiled and then went to Roger.  She helped him to his feet, but he couldn't force himself to stand up straight.
"You okay, Roger?", Ronnie asked after Mike had explained what had happened.
"Yeah, I think I'll be all right."  He was trying to walk it off, but the more he walked the tighter his back became.  "I tell you what, if it hurts like this tomorrow, I'll go to the doctor."

[demented20]

It took Roger twenty minutes to convince Ronnie not to call an ambulance.  In the end he had hobbled out to the car, and Megan had driven home.  During the ride to their apartment his back had tightened even more.  He could walk, but it hurt like hell.  Megan hated to see Roger in such pain.  She was sore and tired too, but seeing Roger struggle so much without complaining made her feel all warm inside.  She had been supporting him under his shoulder, but he grimaced with every step.  He paused they came to the stairs.  Megan looked up at the stairs and at Robert who stood there trying to gather himself.  Megan took a deep breath, put her left arm behind Roger's knees, and with a groan of effort lifted him off his feet.
"Hey, Megan what the hell are you doing?"
"What does it look like", Megan grunted in reply.  She wobbled a little bit then cautiously put her foot on the landing of the first step.
"Oh come on, Megan, there's no need in both of our backs hurting."
Megan took the first step and put her other foot on the landing before she started up the second one.  "My back won't be hurting.  Just shut up before I drop you on purpose."
Roger turned his head and made a show of zipping his lips.  Megan turned her head and grinned.  She had to concentrate because carrying Roger up the stairs wasn't easy, but her confidence grew with every step, so did her soreness.
Roger had been nervous at first, but as they made it to the first landing, he felt pretty safe in Megan's arms.  It was then that it dawned on him how cool this was.  He outweighed Megan by a good 70 pounds, but she was carrying him in her arms up stairs and then down the hall.  He ran his hand down her arm.  Every line in her arm etched because her muscles were all completely rock hard.  Her body felt like living steel beneath Roger as she made small adjustments to keep her balance.  He let his arm drop just so he could feel her thigh as she came up the last step.  Her quad muscle was swollen to bursting with iron hard muscle.  Megan grunted as she came to the top.  It wasn't far now.
"You know this is turning me on?", Roger whispered in Megan's ear.
She chuckled.  "You better stop rubbing all over me before I drop you.  This time not on purpose, and get your key out."
Roger obeyed.  She stopped long enough for him to get his key out and then to open the door.  She swung his legs through and carried him to the sofa, where she finally was able to put him down.
"That was the coolest thing ever", Roger said before trying to get comfortable.
Megan once again had her hands on her knees.  "I only did that because you hurt yourself helping somebody, and you didn't once complain about it."
"So if I had hurt my back trying to out lift another guy, you would have made me suffer."
Megan tilted her head down and looked up at him through her lashes.  "I would have come straight up here and waited with the door locked until you dragged yourself home."  She leaned over and kissed him.  "But tonight you're my little hero, so I'll be nice to you.  I'm going to get some ice."
Megan not only got his ice, but cooked a meal and brought it to him.  "You never told me that you cooked!", Roger exclaimed after finishing the meal.
Megan came back into the living room holding two glasses of wine in one hand and a bottle in the other.  She handed one glass to Roger, set the bottle on the coffee table, then settled in next to him.  He wrapped his arm around her and she snuggled in close even put one of her legs between his and running her smooth skin against him.
She looked up at him after pushing some hair back.  "Of course I can cook.  I'm BAO remember.  I just don't like to cook.  And don't expect a meal like this every time when I do cook."  Megan spent the next several minutes explaining to him the nutritional information on everything she had just prepared.  She went on and on, but Roger's eyes had already glazed over.  He wasn't listening to her so much as he was observing her.  He started to get that feeling again.  He tried to get his mind to think of something else, but it was too late.  As he sat there looking at her and feeling her body against him, he felt completely vulnerable again.  This woman was holding his whole heart in her hands whether she knew it or not.  If she ever decided to crush it, Roger knew that he would never recover.
"You're looking at me like that again", Megan said after taking a sip of her wine.
"L– like what?"
"Like you were earlier today.  What is it?"
Roger sighed.  "When I'm with you Megan, I don't know if I'm the luckiest guy in the world or a complete fraud.  You're so wonderful, and I'm just me."
Megan pushed some hair from in front of her beautiful face and looked up at Roger with her expressive brown eyes.  Roger could look in those eyes and see that joy inside her.  "I happen to think you're pretty wonderful too."  She leaned forward and kissed him.
Roger grinned and pulled away.  "I'm just a Joe Blow."
"Wrong!", Megan began.  "You're my Joe Blow, and don't ever forget it."  She kissed him again.
"Sometimes, Megan, I feel scared.  I know it doesn't make sense and its not your fault, but sometimes I feel like at any minute all of this good stuff could get snatched away.  The new job, the new paycheck, and …. and you."
"I'm not going anywhere, Roger.  I'm with you through thick and thin.  Remember, I was with you before you made enough money to get those squeaky brakes on your car fixed."
"And the air-conditioner", Roger added.
"Yes, and the air-conditioner.  You know come to think about it, the heat in there wasn't all that hot."
"So you're saying I need a new car."
"No, not exactly, you could keep driving that one.  There's no law against it now that it doesn't break the noise ordinance every time you apply brakes."  Megan looked at Roger and grinned.
"You really don't care about that material stuff do you?"
"Not since I realized that its not important."
"Too bad more people don't think like that."
Megan grinned at him.  "Wrong again.  If everybody thought like that then you and I wouldn't have met because you would have still been with your last girlfriend."
"True", Roger chuckled and drank more wine.  "I'm being silly about all of this aren't I?"
Megan nodded.  "For some reason, Roger you think that I would be as happy without you as I am with you, and that's just not the case.  You're the guy I didn't think existed.  You're the guy that lights up my day."
Roger looked at Megan's beautiful features.  "You light up everybody's day, and everybody's attracted to you.  I mean its rare that you meet a person as beautiful as you are inside and out.  I'm so lucky to have you.  You're like the perfect woman."
She chuckled and had to put her hand to her lips to keep from spitting out wine.  "I'm far from that.  I'm sort of a work in progress."  Roger saw a faraway look in her eyes before she mentally pushed away whatever she was thinking about.  "Kind of like my body", she continued.  She held the wine in her left hand while she held up her right arm and curled it slowly.  Roger was mesmerized as Megan's bicep started to rise.  She didn't quite get her arm all the way up before she grimaced a little.
"Stiff?", Roger asked.
"Yeah", Megan complained.
"Turn around."  Roger put his glass down and started working Megan's back and shoulders with slow strong movements of his fingers and hands.
Megan purred.  "Why are you waiting until just now show me that you know how to give a proper massage?"  Her back bowed and her muscles began to relax.  Roger was working his way down towards her lower back and around towards her lats.  Her muscles were so tight that he had to work hard.
He chuckled.  "Because I have to keep some things held in reserve to stay interesting."
"Well, how did you learn… ooohhh… How did you learn how to do this?"
Roger leaned forward and put his mouth near her ear.  "Story for another day.  You were saying."
"Hmm, where was I?  Oh yeah, work in progress."  Megan's voice took on a more serious tone.  "You think that you aren't worthy and all this, and you talk about how lucky you are.  Did it ever occur to you that I might be the lucky one?  Did you ever think that maybe you're not the only person who's been hurt by someone you cared about?"
Roger felt like an empty fool.  He had worried so much about his emotions that he had neglected to think about hers.  "I didn't know…", Roger stammered.
"How could you know?  You only see me now, but you didn't see me when I was trying to put my life back together.  You see Roger, I've always been a little different.  As a kid I was strange, but it didn't matter.  I had all kinds of friends.  They would come over on the weekends when I was little and fill our house and our yard.  My dad was a truck driver in those days, and he would come home to house so full of kids that he had to work hard to find me and my brother.  I was completely outgoing, and I had no fear of social interaction whatsoever.  You needed a kid to stand up in front of church, pick me.  If you needed a kid for a demonstration on stage, pick me.  I had no fear of what anybody did or said.  I just guessed that everybody in the world was like me that they felt this overwhelming joy everyday when they woke up in the morning, ready to take on a new day and meet new people and learn new things."  Megan smiled thinking back on it while Roger worked  hard at massaging her tired shoulders and traps.  It would have helped if he had some oil, but she seemed to be enjoying it.
"Anyway, as I got older all the other kids lost that childlike innocent feature except for me.  It wasn't cute for me to be the way I was.  I became the weird kid, so I started observing people.  I had to know what made them fit in.  I studied every single little thing people did or said, and after a while I figured it out.  I didn't know why I had to put on a front in order to fit in, but so be it.  By high school I had become Miss BAO, big all over including my brain.  I was everybody's nerdy chubby buddy. People came to me for help with everything from school work to girlfriend/ boyfriend problems.  Now mind you, I had never had a real boyfriend at that time.  I talked to all the cool people in school, but I was BAO so I didn't hang out with them.  I hung out with the other outcast kids.  Some of them were my fellow nerds, some were the artistic kids, while some were just the kids who suck at life."
"Suck at life?!?  Megan's that's mean."
She laughed.  "Oh come on, Roger you know those kids.  Every school has some.  They're kind of funny looking so they can't get by on looks.  They aren't athletic, so no sports, and they aren't really smart either.  Anyway, I made that group of friends jealous because even though I was technically one of them, the cool kids would talk to me when we ran into each other at the mall or whatever.  It was a strange feeling.  It's almost like the cool people wanted me to be with them, but there was something in the way.  I didn't figure out that it was my appearance until junior year.  Well I didn't figure it out at all.  Mrs. Kringle, the new school counselor figured it out for me.
She's the one who gave me the pamphlet on teen pregnancy because she thought I was pregnant with Matt Cline's baby.  He was captain of the football team and stuff.  I used to help him with algebra and with his girlfriend Cindy Walsh, but he didn't want anybody to know that I was helping him with either, so we would sneak off after school.  I tried to explain that to Mrs. Kringle, but she wouldn't have any of it.  To her way of thinking, the only reason a guy like Matt would sneak off with an unattractive fat girl like me was because I was an easy lay.", Megan had spit the words out of her mouth like they had been laced with venom, but as quickly as the bad feelings came, they went away and Megan's face was once again neutral.
"She made me feel like a… Like an I don't know what, but I started working out.  After a while the weight started coming off.  I was actually scared when I would look in the mirror over the summer between junior and senior year.  I had worked out so hard, and I had lost so much weight that I wondered what the people would think.  I was BAO to them, and now I wasn't big.  I was afraid that the girls would shun me because I was a threat to them now with the boys, and I was afraid that the boys would just make fun of me.
"I was completely wrong.  The guys encouraged me.  They would say stuff like, 'Hey, Meg, you're lookin pretty hot, but I hope you didn't stairmaster your brain away because I need help with physics.'  And the girls took me shopping with them and taught me how to show off my new assets.  I got asked out on a date, and I went to prom and everything."
Roger frowned as he worked his fingers into Megan's lower back muscles and her upper glutes.  "That didn't sound bad.  I thought you hated high school."
"Hated it!?!  No, I loved it.  I mean my screen name is BAOGirl for a reason."
"I thought it was to motivate you to never get like that again or something?"
Megan twisted to face Roger.  "No, I don't need any motivation to not get fat again.  I made that name because I wanted all my old high school friends to be able to find me.  I chat with some of them quite often.  Even a couple who sucked at life back in those days."  Megan laughed, but it faded.  "My problems didn't really start until college."  Megan downed the rest of her wine and filled the glass again.  She knew that she was going to need some alcohol to get through this.  She wanted Roger to know.  She knew deep down that he had to know how much he meant to her and this was the only way.  Megan drank some more wine and had to find some more courage.
"When I got to college, I decided that I wanted to start a new life for myself and leave Miss BAO behind.  I wanted to be Miss Popular instead.  I figured that I knew what cool people did and now that all the guys said that I was hot, I would use what I had learned to be an it girl.  It worked.  I had loads of friends, just like when I had been younger.  I tutored and I found a local special needs school and started mentoring there.  Everything was great.  I mean it was just great when guys would compliment me on my body.  It made me work out harder to stay in shape.  I wasn't so interested in gaining size then.  That came later, but anyway I felt on top of the world.  I even had sex for the first time.  I had heard so many people talk about it, that I had to know for myself.  Most of the girls I talked to in high school hated their first time.  I didn't.  I loved it.  I loved it so much that I went to another guy's room and had sex with him too that same night.  If I hadn't had an 8 am class the next day, I probably would have done another guy.  After that, I knew that I liked sex and I wasn't going to make any apologies for it.  Now I don't want you to think less of me, Roger, but I mean, I didn't learn all of that bedroom stuff we do by being a prude."
Roger looked Megan in the face as he worked his fingers into the tissue of her still tight left calf.  "I understand, Baby.  As long as you understand that I didn't learn how to do this by practicing on old ladies."
Megan gave Roger that naughty look that made him stir under his shorts.  He grinned at her and kept working her tired muscles.  She drank some more wine, because she had been stalling in her mind.  She was rarely that mentally undisciplined, but this wasn't going to be easy for her.  Her voice told the story of her emotions when she continued.
"Everything was all good until a coach noticed me one day tutoring another freshman in the library.  He asked if I could help tutor in the athletic department.  After that I started tutoring only athletes, and by the end of freshman year I was dating athletes, just a couple of bench warmers, but I liked going to games and parties.  Then I started dating the star quarterback.  That was like a whole new life.  I was more than fitting in now.  I was the center of attention.  The cameras loved me, and I loved them too.  I never got tired of people saying how wonderful I was or how beautiful I was.  I figured that I deserved all of this.  He took me to NY for the first time for the Heisman ceremony.  He took me to the NFL draft and to all the parties, but we broke up because I refused to leave school and move to Buffalo even if he was the 5th overall pick.  He was a really good guy, but I didn't feel that connection with him.  He was strong physically and he liked me to be strong physically too, but emotionally he wasn't strong enough for me.  I could manipulate him too easily and I didn't like that.  I wanted a guy who was strong enough to challenge me and to make me even more popular.  Negative comments tend to roll off my back, but praise just sticks with me and goes straight to my head.  I wanted all the praise I could get.  Then I met Travis, a can't miss basketball blue chipper.  The coaches wanted me to tutor him, or more like do his work because Travis didn't give a damn about school work.  This was just a pit stop on the way to the NBA and he knew it.  Of course we started dating and he took my life to another level.
"He loved the fast life, and everything about it.  He seemed to adore me, and we went all around the world.  I've been to clubs in NY, LA, Vegas, Miami, even London, Paris, Macau, you name it Travis took me there.  If it was a hot spot with hot people then Travis and me were there.  The boosters gave him whatever he wanted.  If he heard that there was a party in Nice on the weekend then one of the boosters would send a private jet and off we would go.  He made the boosters send me expensive gifts because it could only be the best for his girl.  He had special outfits made up for me.  He made me wear the skimpiest things he could so that he could prove to the other guys that he had the hottest girl at the club.  Now that wasn't always the case, but I guess I was close enough that there was at least a healthy debate.  But for everything Travis gave me, he took two things away."  Megan drank more wine and had to work at keeping her voice even.  She failed.
"He had me convinced that I could have anything in the world that was to be had, and even somethings that weren't.  He was convinced that he had the whole world in his back pocket and that all he had to do was reach in and take whatever he wanted.  Of course all of this attention was making my ego the size of an arena.  I thought that I was strong enough to keep my sense of self through anything.  I was the girl that other people came to for help.  I was the strong shoulder that people leaned on, and although it sometimes felt like Travis was using me, I always believed that deep down I could use my intellect to put him in his place if I had to.  Boy was I wrong.  He had done what nobody else had done.  My love of everything new, that light you talk about Roger, he pretty much put it out.  In so many words he told me why.  He told me why he had to crush me and make me the way I needed to be.  He made me stop talking to certain friends that I had kept from freshman year.  He would explain to me in detail how I couldn't be concerned with nobodies.  I had to focus only on the people who could get me ahead.  He was so convincing, and I couldn't see though all his bullshit because I wanted to believe it.  I didn't want to stop being the center of attention, and he used that against me.
"I gave and gave and gave.  He convinced me to stop teaching the special needs children.  Even as stuck up as I had become, I still enjoyed doing that.  It helped keep me grounded, but he told me one day, 'I can't have a picture of my girl feeding some slobbering retarded kid being shown all over the net.'  So instead of doing what I loved, I quit."  Megan paused again and wiped her eyes.
"I was horrible", she cried.  "If you had met me then, you would have hated me."
"I could never have hated you", Roger tried to assure her.
"I hated myself.  I let notoriety rule me.  He even told me how to work out.  He told me once, 'I can't have my girl havin better abs than me.  I had my trainer make a workout for you and a diet.  I want you in shape, but damn girl you can't make my shit look bad.'  So now I didn't even workout for myself anymore.  I worked out for him and his people.  They told me how lean to be, or how much size I could gain or lose, but I went along with it.  I kept telling myself that this is the price of fame, but he told me that I had to make myself less than I wanted to be so I couldn't outshine him.  That included my personality.  I would be with him when he would give interviews and some reporters asked me questions.  They wanted to hear what I had to say because I was more interesting, but he hated that.  I had to be the best player's girlfriend in the world, but I couldn't be better than him, ever.  I went along with it.  I hated every day, but I kept at it because this was the ultimate end to what I had wanted.  I had even strained my relationship with my family.  I had said and done some pretty bad things to some good people just because I could."  Megan started to say something else, but she couldn't.  She was sobbing openly now, and it would only get worse.
Roger was working on her legs as Megan drank more wine.  He wanted to tell her that she didn't have to tell him all of this if she didn't want to, but before he spoke, Megan continued.
"You can't do wrong without it eventually finding its way to you.  I went back home one weekend to try and smooth things with my family.  I was walking down the street, and I came across one of the kids that I used to mentor back when I was high school.  He was a teenager by then and he had enrolled in a regular high school, which was a big step for him.  He was doing great.  He called my name, and I tried to ignore him, but he caught up to me.  He was so excited.  I don't care to recall how I greeted him, but at the end he looked up at me and said, 'Oh, I'm sorry, Miss.  I thought you were the nice woman that I used to know named Megan.  You look like her a little bit, but I liked her better.  I'm sorry to bother you.'  He turned and ran back to the other side of the road."  Megan wiped her tears with the back of her hand and looked at Roger before lowering her eyes.
"I cried like a baby that night, Roger.  I felt sick to my stomach, but it wasn't enough to make me change.  That happened a couple of weeks later when Travis came back.  He wanted sex hard and serious that night, but after sex he blew me off like I was nothing but some sycophant.  I felt like nothing more than a slut.  I went back to my room feeling like a complete joke.  It was like my entire world was crumbling and I couldn't make sense of it.  I had built this life for myself, but it was all a sham.  I had contorted and twisted myself completely to fit his idea and I had given up on all of my own ideas.  I didn't even know who the real me was, so I had to blow it all up.  I had to find that little light inside of me that I used to have when I was happy.", Megan closed her eyes and the tears dropped down her cheeks.  She made no attempt to wipe them, so Roger did.  Megan put her hand on his as he touched her cheek softly.
"I remember sitting on my bed and laughing after crying all night long.  I had cried so much that I don't think I could have made any more tears.  I was a complete failure at life.  Trying to fit in had ruined me completely, so I had to start all over.  I left school for a year, went home, and started teaching the kids again.  I knew that I needed something to ground me.  I needed something that made my mind work for the good.  Then I got a job at TGI Friday's so I could get used to serving people again, literally.  I had to retrain me to love myself and to love life.  That's why I'm a work in progress."
Roger nodded solemnly, "But where do I fit in?"
Megan leaned up and kissed him.  "I'm getting to that."  She paused and wiped her face.
"Its not hard for me to attract people.  I mean once I stopped giving a damn about fitting in, it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.  I march to the beat of my own drummer and so be it.  I like being happy. I like always thinking that tomorrow is going to be better than today, and I like always trying to find the good in people rather than the faults.  I'm weird; I'm opinionated, and now I've got enough life under my belt that I can see through almost anybody's bullshit.  I'm stronger as a person.  I don't need somebody like me because then one of us would be redundant, but I need a strong man.  I need a guy strong enough to ground me because I tend to be able to rationalize anything inside my own head.  I need someone with a strong sense of themselves, but a good person.  I didn't think I was ever going to find that person, and then I happened to send you a message.
"When we chatted, I could tell that you were funny and witty, and sad, but you weren't supposed to be, but you could make fun of yourself and of your sadness.  Then we met in person and I couldn't quite figure you out.  I still can't.  You can make me laugh because I have no idea what you're going to do next.  I can't read you, and I don't want to.  You're the guy that I can't live without.  And over time, I realized how strong a guy you are.  You're the strongest guy I've ever been around.  You don't even know it."
"Megan, I hate to say it, but I'm just ordinary."
She gave him one of her special smiles and cupped his cheeks in her palms.  "You aren't ordinary, you're exceptionally ordinary which is the missing piece of me.  I'm not ordinary at all and it took 22 years of living for me to figure that out.  You don't try and bring me down, or belittle me, or change me.  You don't get embarrassed when maybe you should, and you don't fuss at me when I don't see things the way you do, and you indulge me when I'm just being odd.  You love my hyper-happy, too optimistic, quirky self, and I love you for loving me.  You're my rock that keeps me from floating off into failure again.  I feel that as long as you stay with me, I can do anything or be anything."  Megan's tears started all over again.  This time Roger didn't wipe her eyes.  He had to tend to his own.  She raised up to meet him.
"I guess we're lucky to have each other.", Roger managed.
"Yeah, and don't ever forget it."  Megan wrapped her arms around his shoulders and they held each other for a long time.  Neither said anything, because they had both said enough that night.  They ended up in bed later, but neither had sex on their mind.  They just held hands and watched the late news.
"Is that Nate?", Megan asked with surprise after a long period of silence.
"What huh?" Roger was falling asleep after taking a couple of pain killers.
She reached for the remote to raise the volume.  "Yeah, isn't that Addison's fiancee Nate?  I warned her about him."
Roger turned and looked.  When he did he saw Nate being lead to a police car in hand cuffs.  Megan turned up the volume in time to hear the reporter explain that Nate Billingsly was being arrested on federal charges of operating a corporate espionage ring that had hit companies all over the country.  Then they showed a list of local companies that had been targeted.  Roger saw Cebis Health Care on the list.
"Oh my God", Roger breathed as things fell to place in his head.
"What is it?", Megan asked with concern.
"Addison's firm represented all those local companies on that list.  She personally oversaw at least two of those accounts including Cebis Health Care, the company I work for."  Roger felt completely unsettled.  "Could you hand me the phone?", Roger asked.  Megan reached over and handed it to him quickly.
Roger dialed the long distance number from memory.  His old boss answered.  "Hello, Mr. Howlen, this is Roger.  You remember that cost statement that went missing way back when?  Well I think I know what happened to it."

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