[Newshound]

Hi all,

This is my first post here. It's a short story written in the form of a news article. I hope you enjoy it.

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Tazzie Colomb Dominates Charity Football Event

Dallas (AP)

Champion bodybuilder and strongwoman competitor Tazzie Colomb scored a resounding victory yesterday at the Cotton Bowl, totally dominating a team of college All-Americans during a charity football game for victims of Hurricane Katrina. Against a team of some of the best players in the nation, the Louisiana native proved to be unstoppable enroute to a lopsided 93-0 victory.

Organizers had hoped that the team of All-Americans would be able to offer stiff resistance for the strongwoman but, those hopes were dashed by an incredible display of power and speed."We tried everything we could think of", said head coach Joe Rawlings."She was just too much. I admire her a great deal. My hat's off to her. She's a heck of an athlete."

The tone of the event was set from the opening kick off. Hoping to get on the scoreboard early, the All-Stars elected to receive. The 6'6", 270 pound Miss Colomb, dressed in tight fitting gym shorts and a cropped tank top that exposed her impressive arms and tanned legs, boomed a kick that sent the ball completely over the end zone scoreboard and out of the stadium, to the raucous cheers of the fans.

Lining up against the impressive beauty, the All-Stars had their work cut out for them. In spite of having 5 linemen lined up against her, Colomb blasted through them with little resistance and into the backfield, sending the 300 pound linemen onto their backs. She reached the quarterback Josh Lambert just as he was handing off to Heismann Trophy winner Jeremy Burkett, sacking both of them for a 15 yard loss. On the ensuing play, she again broke through the line with ease and sacked the scrambling Lambert in the end zone for a touchback and a 2-0 lead.

On the following kick off to Miss Colomb, the event started to take on the appearance of a route as, the beautiful juggernaut fielded the kick off cleanly and then proceeded to return it 77 yards straight down the middle of the field, breaking tackles with impunity for an impressive touchdown and a quick 9-0 lead.

The game quickly turned into a route with Colomb seemingly being able to do as she pleased in spite of the All-Stars numerical superiority. By halftime, the muscle girl held a 37-0 lead.

On offense, the powerful Colomb would plow straight ahead, tossing aside huge linemen as if they were pre-schoolers. Linebackers didn't fare much better. Attempts at open field tackling left a trail of downed players in her wake or players futiley hanging on and being dragged behind her. On one play, Miss Colomb had broken free along the sidelines with a clear path to the end zone but, rather than break into a sprint, she seemed to slow up to allow the defenders another chance to tackle her. She turned back towards the defenders with a mischevious smile. She clearly seemed to be enjoying herself. When 3 defenders caught up and tackled her, she simply pranced into the end zone at a trot, carrying and dragging the 3 defenders with her.

As powerful as Colomb was on offense, she was even more ferocious in her defensive play. The offensive linemen proved to be unable to provide any sort of protection for Lambert.

"She was killing us" said offensive tackle Jeff Simpson."We just couldn't stop her. It was like trying to tackle a bus. If you tried tackling her legs, you'd get churned up. If you tried tackling her upper body, she'd just throw you off. I've never seen anyone that strong. I'm just glad we don't have to play her every week", he added.

Time and time again she would plow through the linemen and sack the quarterback. The All-Stars did gain some yardage later in the game when Miss Colomb seemed to back off but these were only short yardage gains. Lambert seemed to get flustered by the amazon's lightning quick rushes and failed to get off many passes. On the few passes that he managed to complete, the Louisiana lass was upon the receiver in seconds. Most of his passes were hurried and fluttered for incompletions.

The score would have been even more lopsided if Miss Colomb hadn't run out of bounds several times, apparently in an effort to keep from running up the score. Other times with 5 or 6 players slowing her forward progress, she would drop to one knee, ending the play. The crowd loved every minute of the spectacle, clearly cheering for the mighty amazon throughout the game.

After the game, Chris Robertson, the All-American tackle form Ohio State said,"We thought we were ready for this game. I really believed we could stop her but, she really kicked our butts. There's no two ways about it." Asked if he thought NFL players would fare better, he stated "It seemed as though we could have had twice as many guys on the field and it wouldn't have made any difference."

Reggie Culverson, the UCLA linebacker reflected,"I had a bad feeling when she kicked the opening kick off out of the stadium. I thought to myself that this was going to be a long day. It's pretty embarrassing for an entire team to have their butts handed to them by one girl in front of all those people but, it was all for a good cause so, I guess it's ok. She was doing a bit of trash talking, laughing and telling us how she wasn't even trying but, I guess when you can play like she does, you can trash talk all day and there's nothing anyone can do about it."

Kenny Thomas, the guard from Texas A&M sullenly observed,"Yeah, she was trash talking. Some of the guys were getting frustrated. One guy took a cheap shot at her after she had gone out of bounds. On the very next play, she flattened him. I didn't see any more cheap shots after that."

In spite of the lopsided score, event organizers deemed the fund raising event a success. "We were hoping the best players in the country would be a match for Tazzie but she just proved to be too strong" said John Parker, head of the charity event."She's an amazing young woman, isn't she?"

"I'd like to thank the organizers for producing such a worthy event" said Miss Colomb."I hope the funds we raised help out a lot of needy folks. I'd like to thank all the players for coming here and playing me. They were great. I'm sorry about the score!" she laughed. "I can't help it! Once I get on the field and hear the crowd cheering, I get so excited and the adrenaline takes over! I had a blast! I hope we can do it again next year!

Organizers said they would study the possibility of drafting NFL stars to play next year.

Final stats:
Rushing

T. Colomb- 739 yards, 42 carries, 9 TD

All Stars
J. Burkett- 13 yards, 21 carries, 0 TD
L. Carlton- 7 tards, 5 carries, 0 TD
K. Mosser- -3 yards, 3 carries, 0 TD

Passing

T. Colomb
0 Comp, 0 Att, 0 yards, 0 TD

J. Lambert
5 Comp, 26 Att, 37 yards, 0 TD

Defense

T. Colomb
14 Sacks, 93 yards, 8 FumbRec, 0 Int, 4 TD

All-Stars
0 Sacks, 0 yards, 0 FumbRec, 0 Int, 0 TD

[iceman75]

Yeah, I have seen this story a long time ago and I loved it, I like to see this kind of story, where one woman overpowers a boatload of men at one time. I am not a fan of supertall women, like over 6'3, but it didn't take too much away from the story overall, so good job on it!

[rob000]

I've loved this story since you posted it on brawna.org.  I hope you write more.

[Newshound]

I like to see this kind of story, where one woman overpowers a boatload of men at one time.

I've fantasized about a woman boarding a navy ship of some sort and taking it over. Both a modern naval vessel as well as a sailing ship from the past.

I'll see if I can write a short story.

[Author]

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