[JimmyDimples]

OK, Varchild (and hi!  Welcome to the forum, and thanks for honoring my thread with your first post!  ;D), y'see, something doesn't have to burn its American birth certificate and be the "property of the world" just to be all over it.  I mean, the two most used words in ANY language  on the planet are (1) OK, and (2) Coca-Cola.  And both of those originated in America.  And what about jeans, ball caps and T-shirts?  McDonald's?  The Internet?  Rock and Roll? 

All around the world… and all Born in the USA.

And face it.  Ninjas are just plain cool. 

And Masschine, yes, I admit that in the later years, G.I. Joe lost its focus, traded in the olive drab for Day-Glo flourescent, and let in all that non-military stuff, and that's probably why it got canceled.  (I personally think it officially jumped the shark when they made an action figure out of Chicago Bears lineman "Refrigerator" Perry… complete with a FOOTBALL on a chain and nunchuck grip.  ::) ) And yes, movie studios need the international audiences to make a profit. 

But they're not even going about it the right way here. 

If Paramount wanted me to sit in Buzz Dixon's chair here, here's the bare bones outline of how I'd do the plot.

(1) COBRA rears its ugly head, shooting up the town.
(2) The Global Unit of Tactical Specialists (G.U.T.S.) steps into the scene, ready to fend off this old threat… and get their butts handed back to them.
(3) G.I. Joe comes back to the world and says, "All right, all right, THIS is the way you handle COBRA."
(4) G.I. Joe comes… He sees… He gets jackslapped like a red-headed stepchild.  This is obviously NOT the COBRA of 25 years ago.
(5) G.U.T.S. and Joe hunker down in a bunker, compare notes, and figure out what they did wrong.  They do some crash-course retraining, check out and repair their vehicles, get shipped some new fancy schmancy gear… who knows, maybe one of the Joes falls for Jeanne Rambeaux, the buff, buxom French trooper, and they have some snappy, friendly, innuendoed banter. 
(6) They find COBRA's command post, and it's now or never.  With a scream of "YO, JOE!" the heroes have the movie's typical big fat over-the-top CGI FX-fest, and ultimately send Cobra Commander and his goons running away, going "YIPE-YIPE-YIPE-yipe-yipe-yipe!"
(7) The commanders look at each other with overdue mutual respect, shake hands, and salute.  Jeanne shows her new boyfriend a REAL French kiss.  And the Joes take off into the sunset, for some well deserved R&R in the States.

And there ya go!  G.I. Joe thrills us red-white-and-blue flag-wavers, the overseas markets get heroes they can I.D. with, and Hasbro and Paramount get TWO franchise names for the price of one!  Playsets, toys, action-figures, DVDs, and cheesy video games and TV cartoons for everybody!  ;D

To simply make it "Global Joe" will serve neither the Home or Abroad team well.  :-

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