[ratlaf]

I'm curious, because I'm in this situation right now, how some of us here have revealed to our girlfriends, fiancees, wives (or boyfriends/husbands for the ladies here) your love of strong, muscular, tall women, and the related theme of growth? 

I've successfuly revealed all this to an ex-girlfriend and am working on telling my current girlfriend but she's a bit more resistant and doubtful.  I'm not going to push my luck because I don't want to scare her away, but to keep this secret from her would be tough.

If anyone has any accounts of how they did it it'd be much appreciated.  I'm sure I'm not the only one here faced with this dilemma.

[zenta]

Hmm I doubt it's one of those things you can just sit her down and tell her. Especially if she isn't buff, she may take it the wrong way.

With my girlfriend she pretty much knew I liked girls with some muscle when I started going out with her, as she has some heh, but obviously this is a different scenario.

I'd say wait until she asks. However, don't go out your way to 'hide' how you feel about 'all this'. But in the same respect, don't be obvious I guess.

I guess if it's burning a hole and you really want to tell her then I'm sure she'd understand. Try and generate some empathy, sort of 'I don't know how you're going to react to this' sort of way.

Personally, I still like my first suggestion. Obviously if you got porn hide it heheh.

Hope that helps.

This is Late night Love with Budoka until 1am, we now have some DRAGONFORCE for you.

[TC2]

Well if this is someone you're about to get married too, you'd better tell her right off the bat so that way you know this is the woman you want to be with anyway.

I use the old make it seem worse than it really is.  Female muscle is not as bad as some of the other "tastes" that are out there.  Therefore if she thinks it's something really bad, and finds out it's just femuscle she'll be like.

"That's it?"

Or…

You can hold it in as a secret for a long time and wait until some opportune moment comes up where she finds out about your secret.  All you're in control of is WHEN your secret is revealed, not the IF; because it will come out sooner or later.

[Seldom]

I recommend being honest real early. The first time my girlfriend asked about what odd tastes I have, I said "Muscles. A lot of muscles. Extreme muscles." "Like, muscles like a man?" "BIGGER."

She thought that was amusing. And she finally knew why I spent more time grabbing her legs than her, um, northward bits.

But yeah, if you think she'll get spooked, say necrophilia first. Then "Just kidding, I just like a bit o' muscle on a lass!"

[ScottG]

I use the old make it seem worse than it really is.  Female muscle is not as bad as some of the other "tastes" that are out there.  Therefore if she thinks it's something really bad, and finds out it's just femuscle she'll be like.

"That's it?"

Or…

You can hold it in as a secret for a long time and wait until some opportune moment comes up where she finds out about your secret.  All you're in control of is WHEN your secret is revealed, not the IF; because it will come out sooner or later.

But yeah, if you think she'll get spooked, say necrophilia first. Then "Just kidding, I just like a bit o' muscle on a lass!"

These are both so true.  I had told my fiancee that my fetish was a bit unusual but by no means bad and left it at that.  Well that thought ran rampant through her mind until she started wondering if it was something really bad and I was just trying to throw her off the trail.  One night when she mentioned her thoughts to me, I just told her that I like strong women, muscular women, and very large breasts, and also I like the process of them growing to that size.  She was so relieved that I wasn't into child pornography that it hasn't been an issue since.  We've both even made a few jokes about it.  (Finally explained why I have a framed picture of Marilyn Monroe lifting weights in my house.)

[Fett]

I recommend engineering a disaster; for example, break her spine. She'll be so distraught at being crippled for life, she won't care about your fetish.

It's all about relativity.  ;D

(I am, obviously, of no real help to this topic.)

[Mimi]

[font=times new roman]From a woman’s perspective, fantasies/fetishes can be a tricky rope to walk.  In my experiences, I’ve found out that being completely honest and open from day one is usually the best method.  And I mean from the very first conversation…

We’re all shamed into hiding our desires (something we’re unfortunately brainwashed with in western culture), and most straight guys I know are saddled with a great girl, but are secretly wanting to express their true feelings.  And most of my guy friends resort to the internet to quench that undying thirst they can’t seem to shake.

Do not let guilt and shame get attached to your curiosities, darling.  You have nothing to be ashamed about in telling your GF what interests you.  Believe me, if that one fantasy is all she has to worry about, then that is a great thing.  Like I said, if you set the tone from day one with honesty and candor in your fantasies, then you have established an openness that may end up surprising you later.  One of my guy friends once dated a woman who (on my advice) pretty much told her from the first date that he was into lesbians and threesomes.  He backed it up by saying he wouldn’t force that on her, saying he only told her that because he didn’t want it being an issue down the road.  She accepted it and they ended up married a year later… and lo and behold, she ended up confessing her own curiosities for women.

If you say something like “Look, I really like you and I want this to work, but I also want honesty to be the most important benefit of this relationship from day one.  I’m a very open minded guy [sic], and I don’t want you to think I’m a pervert, but…”  

Remember we girls are also sexual creatures with our own thoughts and ideas too.  If you truly feel your muscle fantasy is something that won’t go away, then by all means, stand true to your convictions. If she turns and runs, then trust me, it was never meant to be.  Some women unfortunately can’t handle such candor, and that is usually a HUGE red flag of a much deeper issue inside of her that you will (at some point) deal with.

I hope this helps.  Let us know what happens.

Peace and Love,

~Mimi  

[Prophet Tenebrae]

To be honest… you shouldn't be telling your Fiancee/Wife about it. You should have come clean years ago, before you got that far.

Be honest early, would be my first piece of advice… I'm not saying on a first date blurt out "Wow, I'd love to see you hulkin' out of those clothes!" but if you're doing ok, you should just say something about wanting to share something with her and that she shouldn't be shocked.

It's probably best to start out with something familiar… saying "I want you to grow big muscles and bust out of your clothes", even eloquently phrased will sound kinda stupid… So, comics. Most people will know about the Incredible Hulk, so you ask if they know about him, mention he had a female cousin and that she could hulk out… etc.

Of course, that's just one angle of attack… but I think most of the time you get amusement, indifference or confusion more than anything. If you're particularly lucky she'll love it/you'll win her over.

Someone you've been with a long time? Well, if she loves you – plough right into it.

[cpbell0033944]

Though I'm not into growth, I think this touches on the wider picture, and, though I have no advice, I did think that Mimi's advice was interesting and very helpful – thanks dear Mimi. 😉

[Prophet Tenebrae]

I agree, I'd say Mimi's advice is good across a broad spectrum of topics. Fetishes have a tendency to be deep rooted and I often think that people who go out with someone who won't acknowledge them… often build up resentment toward them – that's just me though.

[Author]

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