[JimmyDimples]

As she scanned the still but rowdy horde, Tetsuko remembered her karate training:  breathe, stay calm, note her environs, and see with all her senses (especially then, since that sea of muscle and breast mass called her body blocked out everything within a yard of her).  She wasn't sure if she could still pull off most of the moves as ridiculously bulky and massive as she was just then.  Even with her bigger, longer legs covering more ground, she doubted she could kick them as high or move as fast.  But since all these thugs were like Oompa-Loompas to her now, she figured she could manage with only foot sweeps, front and low kicks, and the occasional crouching punch.  Heck, if they got close enough, she figured she could take out three at once just by falling forward.

She hardened her jaw.  She wouldn't have been scared any, or even all of these schmendricks even 3 feet and 3 inches ago.  But she worried for her friends, and the officers… okay, and Dr. Green, too.  She was pretty much invulnerable, but they weren't.  She noted where they all were, hoping she wouldn't step on them by mistake. 

Prudently crouched behind his old patrol car, Deputy Darren Horne quietly, urgently radioed the dispatcher for backup.  Sheriff Geraldson stood close by the trunk of her interceptor, one hand close by her hip pocket, the other close to one of her Colt .45 self-loads.  Dr. Sonya Gannon was discretely, wisely backing up to the factory building.  Dr. Green was behind her at five o'clock, silently assessing the situation.

But someone was missing:  "Les?"

"Here," he said down by her right side.  And his tiny-seeming hand clasped her mammoth one.  She instinctively wrapped her fingers and wrist around his head and cradled it reassuringly against her hip.  He held on, and Tetsuko felt his grip was more bolstering and solid than seeking comfort and protection.

"Don't worry," he added, "I got your back."

She couldn't help but snicker, but admired his tone.

Down below, Les cheek felt the bigger, wider, formerly blue patch to Tetsuko's boxer briefs, which were now more like a '50s bikini bottom.  It's texture was veined like a leaf… and the color was officially plant green.  He wondered where he'd seen that pattern and color before.

Finally Deputy Darren stood up and put a hand alonside his mouth.  "Hey, y'all!" he yelled as he pointed west-northwest.  "Sturgis is 1600 miles THAT way!"

The whole gang stood silently and didn't even snort or scoff.  No noise except the "potato-potato-potato-potato" of the cycle engines.

Sheriff Geraldson reached into her interceptor, swiched her radio to the internal PA system, and grabbed the mic.  "Be advised," she announced, "you are obstructing traffic and are blocking a fire exit right now.  You will have two minutes to move your vehicles."

Nobody moved an inch.

A beat.  Deputy Darren focused on the three lunks at front and center.  Shorty was looking mighty nervously at the huger, heavier Tetsuko.  His mouth widened and narrowed like an out-of-water fish's:  "Ah-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-bi-bi-bi-big-bigger!" he stammered.

Lanky stared, agape and aghast.  "Gross," he shuddered.  "NOBODY has any business being THAT big."

Unflapped, Fatso spat onto the asphalt.  "Easier target," he muttered.

"Boys," Darren called out, "the little lady and her buddy and I had a little talk about yesterday."  He glanced at said buddy.

Getting the hint, Les snapped up like someone who just remembered his lines.  "Uh, yeah," he said.  And he put an edge to his voice.  "Look, you got a wrecked truck, I got a banged up moped, and unpressed charges against you three for assault, vehicle theft, and reckless endangerment of myself and a bunch of others on Highway 106 yesterday.  What say we just drop it all."

They still didn't go anywhere.  If looks could have killed, Fatso's glare would've ended Les's troubles once and for all.  "What say I drop YOU, Planetqueer," he grumbled.

"That threat's petty assault right there," the Sheriff barked.

"Wait, wait, wait," Sonya said, who had eased back forward.  She pulled out her checkbook.  "How much was the truck?  I think I can pay–"

"Fraggin' straight," Clyde snarled, "only money ain't good enough!  We're takin' it outta your carcasses!"

"Oh, ease up, Clyde, I dunno," Lanky said with a nasty grin.  "I think Dr. Dolly Parton here might have something on her that's worth a truck."  He giggled seedily, as the others guffawed loudly. "Or rhymes with 'truck,' anyway!"  And he strode her way.

THOOM!  Tetsuko slammed a foot down, and sent a mild shockwave which made friend and foe step back, if not hop up.

"THAT'S CLOSE ENOUGH, CREEPS!" she roared.  And she tensed, making all her blood vessels pop up to turn her skin into a highway map.  "Leave the white-coats and badges alone!" Her voice got a shade quieter but no less dangerous. "You gotta beef, you see ME!"

That made eight back-row bikers' bowels release.  They quickly straddled their rides, pulled a 180, and fled the neighborhood.  But before Tetsuko could chuckle at that…

Shak-shak KABLAM! What felt like a bunch of marbles smacked her clear in the forehead, eyes, and cheekbones.  Metal marbles.  KABLAM!  Another sack's worth of marbles hit her barrel biceps, and her bean-bag-chair right breast.  And she heard the cycle engines rev up.

Buckshot! she thought.  Those corn-holers actually SHOT me!

"Get back!" Dr. Green shouted. "Inside!"

"Dispatch!"  Deputy Darren yelled into his radio. "Mayday, mayday, 10-35!  Shots fired!  Bikers closing in on Perwoltz factory, need backup, STAT!" And he quick-drew his service revolver.

And as the doctors and Les beat feet into the factory, and the law's pistols popped their staccatto shots, Tetsuko blinked lead pellets out of her eye.  A smaller putt-putt bike zipped past and thwack!  She felt a wood plank with a nail swat and shatter against her thigh.  Kpunk!  Another hit-and-runner mangled his metal basebat against her kneecap.  Then she saw three more bikes bear down on her.

At the last moment, she swung her massive leg around in a foot sweep and slammed it squarely against one bike's side, and sent it and the rider careening into his other two oncoming buddies.  With shocked yelps, they and their bikes toppled like the ones outside the Satan's Helpers bar in Pee-wee's Big Adventure.

***

Crouching behind her interceptor for cover, Sheriff Geraldson thrust one emptied .45 back in her holster.  "Horne!" she shouted.  "Any backup coming?!"

Deputy Darren ducked a flung brick.  "All deputies on patrol screaming over, town prowler each from Dawson and Dogwood, and two State Troopers off the interstate!  Paddy wagon from Reynolds City, too!  But it'll be a few minutes before they all get here!" 

"Great," the sheriff muttered, as a thug's pistol ricocheted off the back bumper.  She holstered the other pistol and pulled out her car's key chain.  "Just great. Fetching Fanny Marcy.  Cover for me."  And tapping a button, she popped open the interceptor's trunk, ready to get the FN self-load Mark I shotgun in it.

She never got it.  Just after the trunk's hatch swung all the way open, a flaming bottle spun end over end in an arc and smacked neatly and squarely against the Camaro's gas tank with a tinkling crack.  KAWHOOM!  "Aaaaaigh!"  The back end of the interceptor reared up and crashed down again with a big orange and black fireball.  Tetsuko's heart plummeted clear down to her colon as the blast catapulted the screaming sheriff into a clear area.

"SHERIFF!" shrieked the deputy as his superior crashed onto the concrete.  And as if the pyromaniac wasn't postitive he'd hurt her enough, he wrenched the throttle, zoomed in on her and ran over her left leg and arm in passing.  "Sweet Mother Mary! Dispatch, officer down! Ambulance down here, STAT!"  And just as Darren leveled his pistol to go for a head shot on that punk…

Ch-shunk-screech!  Mr. Molotov lurched forward with a sudden tire-burning stop and nearly flew over his handlebars.  Righting himself, he looked up… and stared right up into Tetsuko's severe face.  She was hunched over, holding the motorcycle by the front wheel fork.

"Sooooo," she said, "like to launch stuff in the air, huh?"   

And she then picked up the bike by the front end, rider and all, and giant-swung it around and around, low, then up to her waist, and then up to her blimped chest.  The firebomber got flung off, and he smashed against the side of an abandoned truck trailer.  At the last swing, Tetsuko let go, and sent the two-wheeler flying to smash into the old bus she'd tossed up earlier.

Crack-tinkle-fwoof!  She felt a glass bottle shatter against her back and hair, which then got very, VERY hot.  And she smelled burning gasoline! 

"Agh!" she yelped.  Another firebug?  Then she felt steel things smack against her thighs and hips.  Without even looking down (her bulk blocked the view anyway) she stooped down, stuck her arms out, swung them closed like a steel trap, and stood up with with her catch:  Lanky and two other thugs, each with a ruined crowbar, machete, or axe.  They stared at her face with highly mixed feelings, mostly ill.

"Hey, boys," she said. "Know what to do if your body catches fire?  Stop, drop, and roll!"

And bear hugging the lot as painfully tightly as she could without killing or crippling them, she flopped down on them, let her bulk flatten them, and rolled quickly, bearing down her weight on them as they hit the concrete. Soon she'd smothered the flames, and the three goons.  They'd survived, though if they enjoyed her chest smooshing them, they sure didn't look it.  Not even Lanky.  Satisfied, she scrambled back up, and felt her back.  The skin felt a bit tender from the flames, but nothing serious.  It was probably the bright warm sun on it anyway.

Brap-brap-braaaaaap!  She heard bike engines and — fwoosh! Something else went up in flames off to her right.  To her dread she saw it was Dr. Green's SUV.  And behind it, to her alarm, she saw more bikers and a pickup truck head on into the factory through a bay door.

And to her rage, she saw Fatso and Shorty, and the pesticide sprayer hop out of the truck's bed once it was in. 

She began to dash over… and she stopped and staggered.

And to her dismay, she felt her insides slosh, surge, squirt and squirm again. 

*** 

Sonya dashed down the warehouse aisle as two cackling bikers chased her, twirling chains around.  She spotted Dr. Green's arm wave her toward a corridor of stacked boxes.  She knew it was a dead end, but finally chose to trust the doctor.  The motorcycles' noise grew louder and closer and she fled down the cardboard canyon… and barely kept her feet as she stumbled across an electric cord.  The goons snickered as they cruised toward their target…

And they jerked back off the bikes as the hidden doctor and Les pulled back on the cord and snapped it up to neck level, clotheslining them and making their bikes flop on their sides with a loud crash.  And Dr. Green and his intern quickly swung some shoes into the downed bikers' faces.  The thugs lay perfectly still.

Les shuddered as he stared down.  "Do you think we've killed them?" he squeaked.

Dr. Green snorted.  "They can make an appointment with Dr. Gannon later."

"Not taking any new patients," she quipped.  And all three of them dashed toward the nursery. 

Then they heard the fssh fssh fssh fssh fssh of something being sprayed.  With Dr. Green putting a finger to his lips, they tiptoed toward it.  It was the guy with the pesticide sprayer, coating the plants. 

Dr. Green sniffed.  Then his face made a horrified grimace.  "That's not bug killer," he whispered.  "That's petrol!"

Just then, he felt a steel chain wrap around his throat and yank him back painfully.  Les did too.  Turned out they didn't knock out the riders after all.

"Gotcha!" growled Fatso, as he wrapped his flabby arms around Sonya from behind.

"Let go, ya big ape!" Sonya shouted. 

"Nuh uh."  And he turned her around to approaching footsteps. 

It was Clyde.  He stepped right up to Les, whose captor wrenched the poor intern's face down to the short guy's level.

"Not so tough without your gorilla girlfriend, are ya, boy?" Clyde sneered.  Les just glared at him silently. "Whatsamatter, boy?  Too scared to talk?" Clyde goaded.

Les just curled his lips in a smirk.  Paf!  Clyde slugged Les in the stomach, making him grunt. 

"Makes noise," Fatso said.  "It's a start."

"Whyncha call for your she-male, boy?" Clyde goaded.  Bap! went his fist across Les' jaw.  "Or maybe Captain Planet?"  Whap! went his backhand.  "C'mon, what is it they say?  'Let our powers combine'?"

Les snickered.  "You WOULD be stupid enough to find that watchable."

"Hey, I'm not the one gettin' the crap kicked outta me."  Thupp!  Clyde sent a knee up Les' crotch, making him grunt and groan through clenched teeth.  "Aw, shut up.  I didn't hit anything you ever needed."

"STOP IT!" Dr. Green shouted.  "You little emasculated ba-glrk!" His curse cut off by getting his neck clamped down over his choking chain.

"Look," Sonya offered again.  "How much to make this all go away?"

"Yeah, right," Fatso groused.  "We cash your check, and the cops grab us at the bank.  We ain't THAT dumb, Jumbo Jugs."

"Oh, I dunno," Clyde leered at Sonya.  He pulled out a switchblade and clicked it open.  "I think maybe Hank had the right idea earlier."  And he slid over to her, and snipped off a button on her blouse. 

"Get away from her, you little cockroach," Dr. Green grunted through his squashed windpipe, "Or I swear I'll–"

"Or you'll breathe through your jugular vein, Cadbury."

"That's DOCTOR Cadbury to you, ya greasy midget." Les sniped.

Clyde wheeled toward him.  "Wrong answer."  And he marched toward him with the knife aimed at him. 

"NO!" Sonya shrieked.

Clyde didn't look back.  "Jugs, you strip.  Or they drip."  He put the blade against Les' neck.  "And I don't mean Kool-Aid."

FOOMKRASH!  And just like the 1970s Kool-Aid Man, Tetsuko blasted through the warehouse wall.  She was ten feet and eight inches tall, and about six feet wide.  And from what everyone could guess, four feet thick. 

She stared down at all the little people.  "Oh yeah," she rumbled.

Clyde stared.  "Oh no," he squeaked.

Atop that massive body, her head seemed tiny.  The eyes shone fiercely at the two lead goons. She spoke lowly and deliberately.  "Leave. My. Friends. Alone." And she lumbered forward slowly. 

"Back away, Queen Kong," Fatso warned, fear tainting his voice.  "Or we slice and dice'em.  And our buddies–"

"–saw me grow," Tetsuko interupted, still marching closer.  "And the ones still standing ran away."

Just then someone by the plants whistled.  Everybody turned to see who it was.

It was the sprayer guy.  And he had a box of matches.  And he struck and lit one.  "Get the marshmallows," he said simply. 

He flicked it at a shrub and darted off.  FWOOMP!  The whole greenhouse quickly ignited into a blazing inferno. 

"NO!" screamed Dr. Green.  "You little whoreson!"

Tetsuko still trudged forward, not fearing the flames.  Dr. Green's captor panicked, simply let go, and darted out the exit for his life.  Les' more sadistic holder kicked his feet out from under, slammed him to the floor, and sprinted off himself. 

Tetsuko didn't pay them any attention as they gave her a wide berth and fled. 

"Les, Dr. Green, Sonya," she said.  "Leave."

Fatso finally released Tetsuko's friend and started to run.  Clyde made a break for it, too.  But the former was too overweight and slow, and the latter didn't thaw out of his fear in time.  Tetsuko's massive, long arm caught Fatso easily, and her other free hand grabbed Clyde by the neck.  She hoisted each of them up and forward, and bore down on the incinerating greenery.

"What?!  Let us go!" shouted Fatso!  "You can't be serious!  You can go burn yourself if you wanna!" 

But they were going the same place as their love lives:  nowhere.  Tetsuko marched on to the blazing greenhouse.  And just as she reached it, a bell rang, and then:  Goosh!  The sprinkler system drenched the whole works, and drowned out the flames. 

And Fatso, Clyde, and Tetsuko got soaked. 

Down by her feet, she felt her toe brush against something… or rather, someone.  "Tetsuko?" 

And she stooped down.  She couldnt see him, but hear him.  "Les?!"  And she put Clyde in her other arm's hand and locked him down, while she felt for her friend with her free one.  And his tiny little fingers felt her leg as he staggered to standing.  But now she could tell he was only a few inches taller than her inseam.  Her arm wrapped around him and she lifted him up, and held him under her arm to her side like an infant.  She got a good look at him and his injuries.  "Les!" she cried.  "Your face!"

She then turned to Clyde and Fatso, and their expressions told her everything.  "You…!"

And the water kept cascading all over them.  They heard something.  Down below them.  A gurgling right below their feet, and deep within the monstrous maiden's body.

"You guys are beyond belief," Tetsuko growled.  And she began not just to grow again, but to bloat.  "You guys just push others around, bash them and their stuff and why?!"  She expanded, distended, ballooned.  Her belly rounded and pushed out like a professional weightlifter's under her zepplin breasts.  She began to resemble a ball more than a babe.  "Just because they're different?  Just because he's not a gas burning slob like you?!"  Wider and wider.  Stouter and stouter.  More muscular and more muscular.  And taller and taller, until she became an official giantess at 11 feet and 8 inches.  "Just because you're bigger and stronger than him?!  And you feel like it?!"

She grabbed Fatso by the neck and drew them both close to her face, until they were almost nose to nose.

"Well," she hissed, "Maybe I feel like squeezing your necks until what little brains you have pop out of your skulls like zits."

Her hands clamped down on their necks.  Their faces turned pink.  Then red.  Les, seeing what she was doing, gasped in horror.  "Tetsuko!" he squealed.  "Tetsuko, that's enough!"  She kept it up.  Clyde and Fatso wriggled uselessly, trying to break out of there. And breathe.  They couldn't do either.  "Tetsuko, don't do this!" Les squeaked shrilly. Nothing doing.  Their faces darkened even more.

Then finally he twisted under her massive arm towards her and the smothering mountainous billow of her breast, wriggled closer up into her armpit, shoved his face toward hers and screamed at the top of his lungs:  "TETSUKO, STOP!  You're not a murderer!"

She turned toward him.  "Pipe down, you twerp!" she snapped.  "You don't know how much grief… I've been… through… today?"

She was shocked.  Astounded.  Here he was, his face all bruised, bashed, and swollen, and he was shrieking at her like SHE was the thug.

"I'm sorry!" went the voice in her left fist.  "I said, I'm SORRY!  I mean it!  I'm fraggin' mother-humpin' sorry!  Just let me go!  I swear I'll never bother him, or anyone else here again!"

"Yeah," croaked the other voice weakly.  "What he said."

She looked back at the two faces atop her fists, all reddened so much by her crushing they were almost Violet Beauregarde purple. 

They were goons.  Thugs.  They tried to torch the whole lab, kill Les, and do heaven knew what to Dr. Green and her friend Sonya.  And there was broken Sheriff outside, whom she didn't know whether or not was still alive.  These subhumans probably didn't deserve to make in one piece to their execution, let alone their day in court.

But deep within that gargantuan, elephant-sized body, her little heart knew this was all wrong.

And very reluctantly, her hands slackened, loosened, and let the two goons fall to the floor.  Fatso and Clyde then scampered out the hole in the wall she'd made, toward the multiple loudening sirens.  "We surrender!" Fatso screamed.  "We give up!  Lock us up!  Put us in the car!  Just keep us away from that… that thing!"

She looked right into the eyes at Les in her arms.  Her lip quivered.  And she started to cry.

"It's all right," Les said.  And he draped his arms around her neck and patted it.  "It's all right," he repeated softly. 

She wrapped her colossal arms around him, pulled him close and deep into her chest, as if she were to absorb his body into hers, and pressed his face and chest to her own tear-moistened cheek and hair. "Why?" she sobbed. "Why must you be so stinking sweet all the time?!  And let people jerk you around?!"

"It's all right–"

"No, it's not!  You put up with that Nazi boss of yours!  You're defending the guys that tried to MURDER you for Kami's sake!"  She held his head up so her watery eyes locked onto his.  Their noses almost touched.  "Do you know how much it hurts to see you be such a doormat?  To see you fight for everyone else but yourself?" she croaked.

"Tetsuko…" Les trailed off.  He didn't know what to say.

Then she felt a quick sting in her chest.  Then it got worse.  Then it got to be a sharp steady pain all through her chest, and streaking up and down her left arm.  It twitched.  Then her whole body shuddered.

Les stared at her with alarm and concern.  "Tetsuko?"

She stared at him.  "It… hurts…."

And toppling to her left, she collapsed and they crashed onto the concrete floor.

To Be Concluded…

[Muscle Growth Nut]

Best chapter yet. Absolutely incredible.

[Cowprobe]

Because if she fell forward there would be one Les shaped pancake.  😮

Good stuff and quite exciting this has gone from Walker Texas Ranger to grindhouse madness. In this particular case the bikers that didn't have enough sense to run away deserved what they got.

Jimmy, you keep writing and I'll keep reading.

[JimmyDimples]

Because if she fell forward there would be one Les shaped pancake.  😮

Smushed to death under a female chest the size of a Ford Focus?

I can think of much worse ways to go.  ;D 😛

[The_Pimp_NeonBlack]

A most excellent chapter, dear James.

Thank you for posting it.

Peace
Neon

[robclassact]

I had a good feeling Tetsuko could handle them, despite her bulk and their weapons.  Ah, but it seems she has other problems now.  I was wondering when her body would start to suffer ill effects of her massive-ness.  Regardless, awesome chapter man.  Excellent work!

KOOL-AID!!!

[Fonk]

Aww, man, I'm gonna need some help to get up off the floor here. 😀

[NecrochildK]

Excellent! More! MORE! lol I gotta say too, little details had me quite amused, like the motorcycle engines' sounds being described as "potato-potato-potato-potato" I never thought of it before, it really does sound like that. lol Loved the 70s and 80s tv references too.

[JimmyDimples]

Actually, I lifted the "potato-potato-potato" description from Harley-Davidson's Quicktime engine sound page. 

Interesting trivia bit:  they actually tried to copyright/patent the actual SOUND of the engine, but got turned down.  They reportedly figured, "ah, well, it's not like anybody's gonna mistake THAT sound for anything other than a Harley."  8)

[JimmyDimples]

Les felt guilty about his twinge of pleasure from landing atop a breast that was bigger than he was.  Or having the other land on him.  Especially since the heart under it all was apparently having an attack.

"Doc!" he yelled hoarsely over the sirens.  "Sonya!"

"Way ahead of you, Mr. Safer!" Dr. Green trumpeted as he dashed over.  "Dr. Gannon!  Signs of cardiac arrest!"

"Yeah, I see 'em," Sonya said quickly.  "Here we go again!  I need oxygen, analgesic!"

"Getting oxygen, and monitor, Dr. Gannon!  Safer, get the medikit!  Nurse's office!" 

"Yes sir!" Les dashed off.  Dr. Green did, too. 

"Do we have an AED here?" Sonya called.

"No!" Dr. Green shouted down the hall.  "We'll have to get one from an ambulance!"

Sonya turned to the hole in the wall.  "MEDIC!" she screamed.  "NEED A DEFIBRILLATOR, STAT!" Sonya checked her Tetsuko's pulse and breathing:  erratic and very shallow.  "Can you hear me, T-chan?"

"Ungh." Tetsuko nodded.

"Can you roll on your back?"

More like falling back, Tetsuko flopped over with a thud.  Dr. Sonya Gannon literally climbed on top of her humongous friend's light-switch-level chest and started CPR.  With her friend's chest so ridiculously gargantuan now, though, Sonya wasn't perfectly sure if she'd found the heart, let alone was reaching it.  She kept at it.  Dread filled her soul, as she tried not to think of the irreversible brain damage that might happne due to the loss of pumped blood.  Or that every minute without defibrillation meant the odds of survival dropped by 10%.  She knew her own serum saved the day the first time, but that was no promise here.  Especially with Dr. Green's formula in the mix.

Then it hit her:  What if the paramedics treated the sheriff first, and not her friend?!

"Medic here!" shouted an orange jumpsuited black man who sprinted in with a portable AED.  "Where's the patient?"  Then his eyes popped out.  "Great googily moogily!"       

"Yeah, I know!" Sonya sniped as she pulled back Tetsuko's top.  "Code blue!"

"Right!"  He clambered up, powered up, and slapped on the pads as Sonya hopped off.  "CLEAR!"

BZZOT!  The jolt didn't move Tetsuko at all.  They tried again. "Clear!"  BZZOT!  She barely twitched that time. 

Just then Dr. Green rushed up with a bottle and mask, using a plant-based oxygen compound.  He put it to Tetsuko's nose and mouth.  Les then arrived with the medikit, and administered the nitroglycerin and aspirin.  In the background, they all heard the whoosh of fire extinguishers as the firefighters hosed down the burning wreckage of the SUV.  Deputies, police and patrolmen rounded up the ne'er-do-wells and tended their injuries as they cuffed them and read them their rights.  And the whole day blurred in a big collage of sirens, desparation, and running men and women in uniforms.

***

As the orange sun set, Deputy Darren Horne ducked under the crime scene tape blocking the hole in the wall.  Moseying into the factory, he went over to the office area and found the doctors, Les, and the grand blonde bulk atop the three desks flush against each other.  "Y'all okay?"

"Just peachy," Dr. Green grumped.

Darren nodded.  Then he got a look at Les' black and blue face.  "Ewww," he cringed.  "Those scumbags whallopped you pretty good."

"Yeah," the lab assistant said absently as he sat on a stool, staring at Tetsuko's inert body.

The deputy patted a reassuring hand on Les' shoulder.  "Don't worry, buddy, we'll make sure these jack-holes don't go anywhere.  They're locked up neat and tidy in true Helga Geraldson hospitality."

Les didn't look up. "So how is the Sheriff?"

"Pretty serious.  She'll live, but they pretty much broke every bone in her body except her neck and spine.  We're hoping she'll walk again, but don't know if or when.  How is Tessie Sue?"

"That's Tetsuko," Sonya put in.

"Sorry.  How is she?"

She shook her head.  "She's breathing.  Heart's still beating.  And that's it.  No response.  Not to my voice, not to flashlights, nothing." 

"Well, I just called the wife back home.  She's got Tetsuko on top of our church's prayer team's list, right up there with the sheriff."

Dr. Gannon nodded.  "Thanks.  And thanks for arranging the hospital equipment here, and steering the press clear of here."

"Jus' doin' my job, ma'am," he said.  He didn't mention that Tetsuko wouldn't have fit in the ambulance anyway.  He held up some white paper bags and a drink cup tray.  "Speedy Lunch brought some food here.  Got leftovers.  Y'all want anything?"

Dr. Green shook his head.  "I'm a vegan."

"Got fries, Cokes, coffee, and fried apple pies.  100% vegetable oil."

"McDonald's uses beef tallow in the frozen fries themselves.  What about these?"

"Sorry, dunno."

Dr. Green sighed through his teeth.  Then he stared at the sacks.  "Oh, dash it all.  I haven't eaten since breakfast."  And he grabbed one.

Sonya took a double cheeseburger meal.  Les silently kept watch "bedside," and politely waved the food off.

***

In the dark room, Tetsuko's chest simply rose and fell as she breathed, the IV dripped, and the heart monitor beeped.  Les checked his watch.  10:45 PM.  Finally, he got up and let his stiff, sore bottom unkink and pop back into shape.  He reached over and clasped two of Tetsuko's fingers with his whole hand. 

"Tetsuko," he sobbed quietly, "please don't die."

Then he felt her fingers curl around, and tug his hand a little closer to her hip.  Startled, he looked to her face.

Nothing.  She lay still.  And her fingers relaxed.  He still had to wriggle his hand to get it free, though, and it finally flew out and rapped her in the hip.  But he felt something unusual.  Something fibrous.  Someting like… a leaf?

He gently, tenatively lifted her bedsheet up.  The patch that was holding her briefs/bikini-bottom together was fully green, fully grown, and sprouting leaves.  And he recognized them right away. 

"Kudzu," he whispered.  "It's kudzu!  Just like in Dr. Green's sample!"

He then eased over to her stretched top.  And he checked there.  More leaves.  More greenery.  It was like a fashion struggle between Beau Brummel and the Garden of Eden.

But he also noticed something else… it was very trace, and easy to miss… but Les could see that Tetsuko was a shade smaller.  She was still a leviathan, of course.  Her bosoms were each still the size of himself curled into a fetal ball, but not quite fully the massive cushions that caught him this morning.

As soundlessly as his shoes would let him, he hurried over to his bunk.  And he found his potted greenwear plant.  He fingered the stem and the bare space where he'd plucked off the leaves to patch Tetsuko's "big clothes."  Without a word to himself or anyone else he carried it over, and set it down by his seat by Tetsuko.

"Les?"  Sonya gently tapped his shoulder.  "Les."

"Eep!"  He spun around quickly to face her. 

"Oh! Sorry, didn't mean to spook you.  Look, Les," she said, putting her other hand on his other shoulder.  "it's almost eleven, and you haven't eaten, or even budged.  You've done everything you can, and your insomnia won't help her.  She wouldn't want you to do this to yourself." 

He fidgeted.  What if she wouldn't let him carry out his idea?  "Well, you've been up all day and night, and it's been very tiring and stressful."

"Yes, for all of us.  You too. Look, go to bed, and let me keep watch now, all right?"

Les thought fast.  "Well… a small favor?  Could you go to the fridge and get me a glass and some soy milk?  It's just by the organic strawberry jam."

Sonya nodded warmly.  "Gladly.  I could use a drink myself.  That OK?"

"Definitely."

And she left for the kitchen.  And Les looked at his plant.  And the big mound of Tetsuko.  And he made a hard, fast, unscientific decision.

***

"Ohhh…"

Tetsuko rolled her head around.  She didn't remember much after she fell down with Les in her arms.  Poor guy.  She just hoped she hadn't saved his life only to crush him to death under her glut.  Then she wondered, and feared… how monstrously huge was she now?  Fifteen feet tall and wide?  Twenty?  Thirty?

She rolled her head around again.  She heard the beeps of a heart monitor.  And she felt something rustle.  Something like… leaves.

She winced.  Was she too big to fit in the factory anymore?!  Or worse yet, was she dead and buried?  But she calmed down.  She was lying on some sort of flat surface, not grass or dirt.  Almost like… no, it was wood.  Solid wood, like a table. 

She tried to get up.  More rustling.  All over.  It was like she had turned into one enormous bush. 

"Hey!" she called out.  "Les?  Sonya?  Dr. Green?"

"Tet-chan?" Sonya's voice groggily said.  "Sorry, I was supposed to keep… watch… YOU'RE ALIVE!"

And then she felt two arms wrap around her, a big bodice squeeze against hers, and her friend pull tight against her, smushing the leaves all over her body down.

Hold on a second! Sonya could actually get her arms around to her back?!  That meant…!

"Wait a minute.  You're all green and leafy!"

Yike!  She still wasn't out of the woods yet!  Literally!

Then she heard running footsteps, followed by fast walking ones.  Unshaven, messy-haired, pajama wearing, but nowhere near as groggy, Les bolted over to her.  She peered at him through the leaves blocking her view.  "Les?"

If faces were music, Les' would've been Beethoven's Ode to Joy.  "IT WORKED!" he squealed.  "Tetsuko, you're up and around!  You're okay!"

"Ano, hai, I feel all right," Tetsuko said.  "And I THINK I'm normal sized… well back to what I was.  But now, I'm a huge shrub!"

At last, Dr. Green came in, and his hair and face hadn't met his comb and razor either.  His eyes were half open as he focused on the spectacle.  "What's all the rumpus?" he murmured.  Then he snapped to.  "What the deuce???!"

"Uh, Les," Sonya asked, "what did you mean by 'it worked'?"

"Well…" Les started.

"Stop stalling!" Dr. Green menaced.  "What the devil did you do to her!"

"I know!" Tetsuko said.  "The greenwear plant!"

"The what?!"

"Les' greenwear plant!  It latches onto human skin like lichen, right?  Well, I figure it must've absorbed the plant part to your formula, Dr. Green.  And the kudzu chloroplasts bonded with the cells to the leaves that were patching together my bikini.  Les' leaves must've sucked them all up, and I think either your formula or Sonya's or both must've made the kudzu on my skin grow overnight, and extracted all my excess body mass with it!"

"Well, three cheers and a tiger for us," Dr. Green huffed.  "If you don't mind the 24-7 Green Beret field dress look!"

"Hold on a second," Les said.  He reached for Tetsuko's arm.  "May I?"

And with her yes, he reached for a kudzu tuft, and pulled by the roots.  Like old sunburnt skin, the stuff slowly, steadily, but painlessly peeled off.  Her own epidermis underneath was as soft, pink, and healthy as the day she was born.  And after steady peeling (and an embarrased moment to catch and re-tie the ends of the bikini that weren't patched together anymore), Les stripped off all the rest of the kudzu skin, and put it aside. 

Tetsuko looked just a hair plumper and bustier, but she was back to her old 6'5" self. 

***

Right at lunchtime, Sonya motioned Dr. Green to the microscope.  "See for yourself?"

He did.  And he nodded.  "Well, by Jove, it's official.  She's a little fatter from my chloroplast's sugars, but other than that, just like the old samples you'd shown me."

"Teriffic," Tetsuko grumbled mildly.  "I actually gotta skip dessert a while."

"Nothing your exercise regimen won't fix," Sonya reassured.  "And it's all good cholesterol, anyway."

Les settled back.  "Great.  So the whole thing's a push."

Dr. Green folded his arms.  "Sure.  If you call losing the SUV and the greenhouse going up in smoke a push." He frowned sadly.  "All that research destroyed.  And my renter's insurance isn't going to cover any of that."

"Well, seeing that the bikers were going for the whole lab, and us with it," Tetsuko countered, "I think we got out okay."

Dr. Green nodded.  Then he snapped his fingers.  "And!" he exclaimed.  "That greenwear negated the effects of my mito-chloroplast culture! That means anyone taking the formula won't have to stay that way!"  He clapped his hands.  "Ha!  Ecological Armageddon hasn't got us yet!"  And he spun to Les, and for the first time since Tetsuko or Sonya had seen him, he looked unsmugly happy.  "And I owe it to you, my good man!"

Les then stared at Dr. Green with a pained look. 

"What?" Dr. Green pried.  "Don't tell me it got burned up in the fire!?"

Les shook his head no.  But he held up his plant's pot.

It was dead.  All the leaves had been stripped off.

"I needed them all to save Tetsuko," he said sadly. 

All the others stared at the pot for a long moment.  "Oh, Les," Tetsuko at last groaned softly.

Dr. Green suddenly slapped his hands on his hips.  "Well, hang it all, I'm a doctor in botany, for Bacchus' sake!" he snapped.  "I can — no, WILL find a way to get it back!  We'll start again, check our notes, retrace our steps, crossbreed, make hybrids, and–"

"Why bother," Les muttered.

All the others stared at him like he'd just grown a second head.

"Are you insane?!" Dr. Green sputtered. "This could get us the Nobel Prize!  And what about your grade?!"

Les locked eyes on his boss.  "My heroes.  Gregor Mendell and George Washington Carver.  Do you know their final GPAs, Doctor?"

"No," Dr. Green said automatically.  Then he let that fact sink in.

"Look," Les shrugged.  "The lab's trashed, I'm not really that happy here in my intership, and I don't honestly think I'm that appreciated anyway."

"The bloody devil you're not!"

"The bloody devil my PLANT isn't… Doctor."

Dr. Green then twitched a bit.  And he looked like a dog caught chewing his master's slippers.  "Very well," he muttered, "I'm sorry."

Les arched his eyebrow, as if asking "that's it?"

"For treating you like a lackey than a lab assistant," Dr. Green added.

Les stood silently.

Dr. Green grimaced.  "For making an overblown deal over the title Doctor."

Les nodded, but didn't appear satisfied.

Dr. Green took a breath.  "And for belittling your ideas and developments, and not hearing them out." 

"And for hanging a bad grade over my head for eating meats or non-vegan stuff?" Les asked.

Dr. Green nodded.

"And for the stipend."

With a sigh, Dr. Green nodded to that, too.

"And how about letting the lab cover my burger runs for lunch?" 

Dr. Green scowled.  "Don't push your luck, Mr. Safer!"

Les grinned warmly.  "Just picking your beans just then, Doctor."  He stuck out his hand.  "Apology accepted."  And with a chuckle, Dr. Green shook it with both hands.

Before Sonya or Tetsuko could comment, someone else did: "Anybody home?"  Deputy Darren.

Dr. Green turned around.  "Don't you ever knock?"

"Hole was open.  Anyway, I wanted to see y'all were all right, and was hoping to get some statements for the police reports."

Dr. Green nodded.  "We can do that."

"Is the sheriff all right?" Sonya asked.

"She's in a full body cast," Darren said, "but she'll live.  Ah, and I see you lost some weight there, Tessie Sue."

"Tetsuko," she corrected.  "Yeah, I'm much better now."

The deputy grinned.  "Looks great on you."

She blushed a little with a soft laugh.  "Thanks." 

"So, this afternoon at 3 at the courthouse work for y'all?"

***

"…and that's when I finally let them go," said Tetsuko.  "Then they ran off, and Les calmed me down.  And that's when I dropped from the chest pains.  Guess my body got too big and heavy for my heart."

Deputy Darren marked it all down.  "All right, so if you'll just sign here, Tessie, er, Tetsuko." he said, pointing to the dotted line.  And Tetsuko put her John Hancock there.  "And that'll do it.  Just be sure to be back when it's time to testify in court."

Tetsuko furrowed her brow.  "Say, what about me smashing the truck?"

"Well, if Clyde wants to make an issue of it, he'll have to press the charges himself."

"What about the sheriff?" Dr. Green asked.

"She told me to let y'all go," said the deputy.

Les blinked.  "She did?"

Darren rolled his eyes away in thought.  "Well… that's what I figured she said…"

***

Putting the flowers down on the bedside table, Darren came alongside Sheriff Geraldson's hospital bed and leaned over her body cast so she could see him.  "So, how you doin', Sheriff?"

She murmured her reply:  "Dmc smms M'll bm mmt mf hmrm mn smx mr mmght wmmks."

"Be outta here in 6 or 8 weeks, hmm?"

"Ymmh."

"Well, you'll be glad to hear we got those three lunkheads arrainged for court, and it doesn't look like they're gonna be bothering anybody anytime soon."

"Fmnm mnd dmndm. Bmt whmt mbmmt thmt Brmckmnrmdgm gmrl?"

"What about who, Sheriff?"

"Brmckmnrmdgm!  Tmss Smm Brmckmnrmdgm!  Thmt gmmnt blmndm chmck!"

"Oh, Tessie Sue, that giant blonde chick?  Well, I let her go on her own recognizance.  Still around at Dr. Green's, and she's all right now, thanks for asking."

"Whmt?!  Shm's gmt mmtstmndmng mssmmlt chmrgms!  Dmn't lmt hmr gm!"

"What's that?  Let her go?"

"Nm!  DMN'T lmt hmr gm!"

"'Dope, let her go?' Well, all right, all right. I might not be a supergenius, but heck, even I know she can plead self-defense."

"Thmt's nmt whmt M smmd, Hmrnm, mnd ymm knmw mt!"

"What's that? That's what you said and I know it?"

"Thm'ts NMT whmt M smmd!"

"All right, just making sure.  Maybe they'll send us a postcard from Florida."

"Hmrnm, ymm mmsmrmblm mncmpmtmnt–!"

"What's that?  Disassemble the interceptor?"

"Mntmrcmptmr?!  Hmw thm Smm Hmll dmd ymm gmt thmt?!"

"Well, those bike punks pretty much already disassmebled it, permanently. But you said you want me to get current patrollers from that part of the budget?"

"WHMT?!"

"Why that's mighty generous of you, Sheriff!  We deputy's'll really 'preciate it!"

Her whole body, cast and all, lurched forward on that.  "Hmrnm, ymm mmbmzzlmng mnsmrrmctmmnmst!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, there, Sheriff," Darren said, holding up his hands.  "I know protecting and serving is your passion, but ya gotta calm down and not be so emotional."
 
"M swmmr, M'm gmmnm nmml ymmr gmnmds tm thm jmml cmll wmll whmn M gmt mmt mf thms bmdm cmst!  Mnd thmt Brmckmrmdgm hmssm, tmm!" 

"Now, Sheriff, you know stress slows the healing process."  Darren's tone got a lot more serious.  "You sure don't want to be still stuck in here during election day.  People might think the job pressure's too much after such a bad trauma."  He put on his cap.  "And if I didn't want to tick off a lot of voters who are glad to see said Breckenridge 'hussy' take down or scare off a whole mess o' punks that's been plaguing the county for the past year, I'd simply let bygones be bygones."  He tipped his cap.  "Gotta be at the courthouse in twenty minutes.  Get well soon, y'hear?" 

And he quietly left a silently stewing Sheriff Geraldson's, closing the door behind him.

***

A few days later, Tetsuko and Les stood by a pallet of stuff in the factory parking lot.  "I can't believe you're leaving already, T-chan," Les said glumly.

"Well, hey," she reassured, "you've got my e-mail, right?"

He nodded.  "I'd like your mobile and dorm phone numbers, too, please."

She tilted her head sideways.  "Promise me something first."

"What's that?"

She leaned in very seriously.  "Promise me you'll stay sweet and keep sticking up for yourself and what you believe in.  And
don't let ANYTHING stop you for going for what you want."

He looked at her straight in the eye.  "Whatever I want?"

"Hai."

He smiled shamelessly.  "Like this?" And then his lips sprang like a cobra on hers, and gave her a quick three-second smooch.

She was stunned.  And she peered hard at him.  "All right, Les.  Iie.  No.  Nuh uh.  NOT like that.  You don't do that."  Then she grabbed him just as fast, tugged him all the way in, and pressed him tightly against her chest and belly.  "Like THIS," she cooed huskily.

And then she planted a big, fat, twisting wet one on his.  It took him five seconds for him to pull together and kiss back.

"Right!" went Dr. Green behind them.  "Break it up!  The Microtel Inn is down the street!"

Les held up a "just a minute" finger.  And finally, he broke off and got his breath back.  "Promise."

Tetsuko nodded with a smile.  And she leaned in her lips to his ear, and whispered each digit.

Just then a whooshing sound hovered, buzzed the factory, and circled them all.  They looked up.  It was a big hovering van, with VTOL jets jutting off the sides.  It slowly came to a stop in mid-air, and lowered to the ground majestically, scattering debris all over.

"Boy, do I have a word or two for the driver!" groused Dr. Green.  And he marched over to the driver's seat.  There was no one in it.  Not the passenger side, either.  "Who's driving this thing?!"

"Preprogrammed!" said Sonya, just stepping out of the factory.  "By a Dr. Bonn out west.  He's overseas now.  He's agreed to meet us in Orlando to pick it up when they return to the States."

"He's letting you… drive that… all the way back home?"

"As I said, it's automatic.  We'll leave the driving to Otto."

In Tetsuko's arms, Les looked at her unsurely.  "I'm not so sure about this… this Dr. Bonn… y'know, it doesn't seem like his tires have all five lugnuts, know what I'm sayin'?"

Tetsuko just laughed and bounced him lightly.  "Can't be any crazier than what WE'VE just been through."

THE END
Special thanks to David C. Matthews for the original characters and story, and for not issuing the cease-and-desist letter.

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