[Trina]

Trying out this whole writing thing, I can't draw so here we go.
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Mimic

I should be about five foot three and one-ten.  But that’s definitely not the case.  It all started when I began dating boys.  Actually, no, when I started sleeping with boys.  Something about having sex with me released something in them that then changed something in me and landed me where I am today.

I first noticed it with Tom.  He was a wrestler and super built.  I slept with him the summer after high school partly because he was lonely having just broken up with his steady girl, and partly becasue i didn’t want to go off to college totally inexperienced.  He was my first.  I’m shamed to say I used him, but if I hadn’t, things would be very different for me now.

We were together for about six weeks and in those weeks he taught me a lot.  He’s a good man and I don’t know why she dumped him.  We weren’t right for each other though so when school started we split up too.

It was in those six weeks that things totally changed for me.  It was during our third time that i was curious about being on top. So i pushed him up and found that he was a lot lighter than i expected.  So i rolled him over and pinned him down.

Wow, I had no idea you were so strong!

I didn’t either, that was fun!

He tried to wriggle out of my grip so I tried to hold him down and found that i could!  He had to put some serious strength into his escape before he escaped.  Oddly this totally turned him on and before i knew it I was beneath him again. Grrr.

About a week later I was getting bored underneath again and i really wanted to feel what it was like to be on top, to be in control.  So i lifted him up again and found he was super light, flipped us over and pinned him down again.  This time i could feel him struggling and not able to escape.  This totally turned me on and as i lowered myself onto him, he exploded almost right away.  Good thing for the condom and my birth control!!

That was amazing!!  Will you do that again?

Do what, i didn’t do anything, you went off before i could enjoy it. I pouted.

No i meant holding me down like that, i really had no idea you were strong enough to do that!

I’m not strong, you have to have muscles to be strong.  I said flexing my puny arms.  To both of our surprise a huge muscle erupted out of my arm.  Well it was huge for pettite little me.

Woah!!  That looks almost as big as mine! Here, let’s compare.

So we did, and he was right, i was as muscular as he was!!  How did that happen?  I was totally freaking out so Tom pinned me down and held me until i calmed down a bit. 

I’m not going to let you be on top until you truly want to be on top and that means accepting the strength I’ve been blessed with and somehow gave to you.

That did it, i wanted to be in control damnit and i thought i now had the means to be.  The problem was he was using all his strength too and apparently i was now exactly as strong as he is.

Too bad you’re not a little bit stronger than me, then you’d be able to have what you wanted. He taunted.

I felt sudden strength flow into me and before we knew it i was on top and i was riding him to the best orgasm of my young life!  Afterwards i held him in my arms.  He tried a few times to escape but i was now definitely stronger than him and he had no chance.  I was enjoying this! 

176!!  I’m now 176 and its all muscle and strength!  Come check this out Tom!

I posed for him in the bathroom and the obvious difference in our musculature made his mouth gape.  We were still about the same size but my muscles were way more defined and cut.  Compared to me he looked like the Pillsbury Dough Boy.  I was totally enjoying this!

The rest of the time we were together i totally overpowered him every opportunity I had.  I arrived at college a totally confident young muscular woman ready to tackle the world, with muscle if need be… 😉

[yaracyrrah80]

Good!  I look forward to more.

[luvmuslgirls]

Very good. But, I wonder if you could indicate who starts talking by using the names and using quotes.  Maybe something like:

    Tom exclaimed, "Wow, I had no idea you were so strong!"

    I exclaimed in reply, "I didn't either, that was fun!"

Maybe the more experienced authors have some advice. But a good start if you intend to go on.

[iceman75]

Yeah quote marks would be nice, otherwise it was a very hot story.

[Trina]

Thanks guys!  I'll try to add in quotes in the next part.  ::)

[Tonus]

It depends on the style you are going for.  If it's a sort of stream-of-consciousness narrative, the lack of quotes doesn't necessarily harm it (and in the story you posted, I did not find the lack of quotes confusing at all and was able to follow the story without having to stop and wonder who said what).

My only suggestions are minor grammar corrections, such as changing this:

I’m not strong, you have to have muscles to be strong.  I said flexing my puny arms.

To this:

I’m not strong!  You have to have muscles to be strong, I said, flexing my puny arms.

It reads better this way, IMO.  It properly separates her objection from her explanation, while using the correct grammar (the comma after the statement) when attributing the statement.

Mind you, I'm not a grammar expert by any means, but that is what stood out the most.  Good luck with your writing!

[Trina]

Wrote the next part of this story but it was too long for this site.  :-[  So I posted it to the Deviant Art site.  Sorry still no quotes… :-

Here's the whole story so far:
http://trinaz.deviantart.com/art/Mimic-110341877

;D

[sg2ww]

Very, very good start, but quotation marks make it easier to read.

[Trina]

Sheesh!!!  OK, fine!!  I'll add quotes…

""""""""""  😉

;D

[luvmuslgirls]

Yay! Quotes! 

[Author]

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