[Frank]

hey everyone. This is the first story ive ever tried to write, and i figured id let you look at it and let me know how to improve it. Sorry if the beginning is a little slow, theres lots of little details i had to stick in there. so here it is.

Dina, a 15 year old girl living in Florida, entered her house, slamming the door behind her. She usually tried to keep a positive outlook on things, but today it was just too hard to do that.  Today she had lost her boyfriend to Nicole, one of the best looking girls in her grade. She had shiny brown hair with blonde highlights, deep brown eyes, and tan skin which contrasted nicely with her pearl white teeth. But most of all, her body, was what made her so attractive: nicely sized breasts, a trim waste line, and every part of her body was in perfect physical condition. Her arms were smooth, not too long, and full of nice muscle, not too big, not small either. When flexed, her arms were at least 11” around.  She had a clearly defined set of abs and from the waste down, her legs were also smooth yet firm, her calves bulged a little every step she took, and her thighs went nicely with them. Not that Dina wasn’t good looking, far from it. She too was one of the best looking girls, just not as much so as Nicole. She knew it wasn’t her face. Her face was perfect, not a flaw to be found. So she figured her body just wasn’t meeting her ex’s standards. It wasn’t bad looking, she was sort of big in the breast area, and had a little muscle, but kind of and a little just wouldn’t do it. She thought of how much better Nicole thought she was than everyone, and remembered that little smirk she gave Dina when she was walking away with her boyfriend’s arm around her, and got angry. Not usually being the type that would kick, someone’s ass, she surprised herself a little. But she figured if she was going to kick anyone’s ass, it would be Nicole’s. Then she remembered, why she wanted to kick Nicole’s ass: because she was better, and better included bigger and stronger. Either way she looked at this, there was nothing she could do to cheer herself up. Unless she could instantly make herself stronger and give herself a little muscle, nothing. She sighed, “Well I guess there’s only one way to do this. I’ve gotta get to the gym!” This wasn’t so hard since she had one in her basement. She never used it, her parents did. But she didn’t think they would mind. She looked through her drawers and pulled out a tank top and sweat pants. These were the closest things to exercise clothes she had. Making her was down the stairs, she looked around. “Gee, I forgot how much stuff we had down here. I wonder where to start. I guess wherever I need the most work.” She flexed her bicep. It thickened a little, but she could easily make a dent in it. She bent down and tensed her calves. Not bad, but still pretty skinny. Taking two fingers she pushed in on her stomach. They went in a little and then stopped. She was getting a little flab. “Oh crap! I’m puny all over. Well I guess I’ll start with my abs. She went over to her Ab Cruncher and started following what they were doing in the video. Since she had never really tried this before, she felt the burn right away. By the time the video had finished she slid off the machine onto the floor. “Oh….My…..God…..this shouldn’t be so hard. There has to be an easier way. I’ve gotta think. Maybe some fresh air will clear my head.” She put on a sweater and a pair of jeans and went for a walk. She went down by the boardwalk to look at some of the shops in the new mini mall. One thing stuck out to her more that anything else:  a little old man sitting on the side of the road in a little booth. Sort of like a lemonade stand. There was a sign that said “Dr. Fuji’s Potions and  Elixirs”. Looking around at the bottles and vials on the table, she found what she was looking for. A little bottle of blue liquid labeled “Muscle Growth”. Not that Dina actually thought it could work, but she had some spare change and might get thirsty on the walk home. Figuring that it was just colored soda, she paid the man and left. After walking a while she forgot she had the drink and made it all the way home. When she went to take off her sweater she felt it in her pocket. “Oh I forgot about this. Well I paid for it, I might as well use it.” Dina popped the lid off and drank about a quarter of the bottle. “That wasn’t so bad. It tasted pretty good actually. I’ll save the rest for later.” She put the bottle in the mini fridge by her bed. Then she turned on her TV and fell asleep.

Dina woke up at about 2 AM, feeling unusually cold. She looked over at her thermostat. It was fine. Her windows were only half open, which they were every night because she could never muster up enough strength to close them fully. She joked to herself, “maybe with that muscle potion I can close them now.” She got out of bed and went over to the window. Using half of her strength she pulled down on the window and much to her surprise, it budged a little. She kept trying and soon it was closed all the way. “That’s funny.” Dina said, “I could never do that before.” She thought briefly that the potion she bought was more than just soda, and to make sure she wasn’t going crazy, she brought her arm up and flexed. Surprise number 2! Even though only a few hours ago there was no evident muscle on her arm, it was now rock-hard with a good sized peak and a defined crease. “Oh my God! That stuff was real.” She brought up her other arm and flexed and sure enough an equally nice sized bicep appeared. She bent to fell her calves once again, and when she flexed them she was greeted with a firm, diamond shaped muscle that was not there before. Then she turned to her mirror and noticed another big change. Her boobs had grown too, to about a CC cup, which went with her muscles very nicely “Oh wow! If only a little of the potion did this, I wonder what would happen if I drank the rest.” But she didn’t want to get bigger all at once. It had to seem natural. So she drank another quarter of the bottle and went to bed thinking about what her body would look like then.

TO BE CONTINUED

[The_Pimp_NeonBlack]

Most interesting, dear Frank, I's eager await the next installment.
Kudos to you.
Peace
The Pimp NeonBlack

[gblock01]

Very nice! You're off to a great start, and I can't wait for the rest of the transformation. You've definitely got some talent.

[Frank]

thanks guys 😀 part two is in the works. should be up soon!

[Max]

Great start. I like this kind of progression stories. I bet that Dina will have a great time comparing herself to Nicole and slowly overpass her. That way she can get the attention of her boyfriend back and humilliated at Nicole.

I will be looking forward for the next part.

Max

[Fonk]

This is a great start! I'm looking forward to more instalments, as well as the inevitable ass-kicking of Nicole! 😉

[JimmyDimples]

So far, so good. 

Minor suggestion, though?  Can you break the text into more paragraphs?  The two big blocks of letters sorta intimidated me a bit. ^_^;;;

[Frank]

sure thing jimmy dimples. ill remember that when im writing part 2 😀

[Frank]

okay guys hers part two. not alot of growth, but more like a set up for a lot of growth in chapters to come. enjoy!

Dina woke up around 9:30 the next morning. She had forgotten what happened the night before and was startled when she looked in the mirror. She was happy to see that the potion had again taken effect. Her biceps were now easy to see, even though they were not flexed, and a single vein ran down each one. The same went for her calves which now also bulged every time she took a step. She noticed her shirt seemed looser around her stomach, which she discovered was because the potion caused her to shed whatever fat she had there. What she now had was a finely cut washboard stomach. He thinning of her abdomen made her breasts seem even bigger than they were, which was still very big. She flexed her arm and it jumped up to double its size. “Alright , this should be enough. But just in case, I’ll save the rest of the stuff.” When she walked down to her kitchen for breakfast and passed the door to her basement, her curiosity got the best of her. “I wonder if I got as strong as I got big. Well there’s only one way to find out.” She made her way down the stairs and looked over at the weights. The other day she could curl 10 pounds with a bit of a struggle. She grabbed a bar and added 15 pounds to each side. “There that’s 30.”Dina grabbed the bar and lifted it up like it was a piece of paper. “Ha! 30 pounds and it’s still to light. Lets see how much I can really handle.”
She went over to the bench her father used. There was 100 pounds on each side. Dina laid down on the bench grasping the bar in her hands. She pulled it off the rack and brought it down resting on her chest. “Okay half way there,” she said. She took a deep breath and thrust the bar up with all her might, which wasn’t necessary because it was also light for her. “Oh my God! 200 pounds. I’m really strong.” She jerked the bar up and down for a while. She could feel her muscles pumping up as they began to strain from the weight. “Okay that’s all I needed to know. I think I’m in ass-kicking shape!” She went over to the heavy bag and began to swing at it. She pictured Nicole’s face on the bag and put every ounce of strength  she had into it. She hit the bag so hard it fell over. “Oh yes.” Dina marveled at her powerful new body. “I’m stronger than any girl in this state. Nicole doesn’t stand a chance against me!” She continued punching the bag. “This is just practice for what is going to happen to Nicole. That bitch has some beating coming her way!”

“…7.……8.…….9.……and 10!” Nicole put the barbell back on the rack and sat up. She loved the feeling she got after working out. Every muscle in her body felt as if it was swollen. Whenever she bent her arm her bicep doubled up in size, as did her calves when she walked. She loved having these muscles and knowing that not one other girl in her grade could match them. This is because she had not seen Dina since she had stolen her boyfriend. Nicole looked in the mirror with satisfaction. She flexed her bicep and started to feel it. She loved that she could not make even the smallest dent. It was hard as rock. Guzzling down a protein shake, she left the gym and started the walk home. Nicole’s route home included passing Dina’s house. As she was walking by, she caught something in the corner of her eye. Double-taking, she looked in the window to confirm. Sure enough there was Dina, but it didn’t look like Dina, she now had a large chest and muscles slightly bigger than Nicole’s. ‘OH MY GOD! That can’t be Dina. Can it?” She checked again. Yep that was Dina. “Oh fuck. Perfect time for her to start working out. Right after I steal her boyfriend. She’s gonna kick my ass for sure.” But then Nicole began to think. “Wait a minute, I saw her only two days ago and she was a runt. There’s no way she could have got that buff that fast. No one can. Something isn’t right, and I’m gonna find out what.”
Nicole ran home for her sleeping bag and some snacks. She was staking out tonight. Tomorrow she would search Dina’s house for clues. Since her and Dina used to be friends, she knew where the spare key was hidden. She hid in the hedges across the street and tried to fall asleep. “She’d better enjoy being bigger than me while she can. ’Cause when I find out her secret, I’m going to steal it and use it for myself. HAH! And I thought I couldn’t be in any better shape!”

TO BE CONTINUED AGAIN

[Max]

Interesting twist. So now Nicole can have a chance to get her hands over the formula. Very promising.

Great chapter Frank. Nice to see what Dina can do with only a portion of the formula. This story is getting quite interesting indeed.

Max

[Author]

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