New story – Temples and Trolls

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  • October 3, 2008 at 12:48 am #76568
    El_Roy_1999
    Participant

    Hi everyone!

    I just posted the finished version of one of my stories at brawna. I hope you like it, I'd be very thankful for comments, critique and ideas for improvement.
    Here's the link:

    http://brawna.org/stories/temples-and-trolls

    Enjoy!

    R

    October 3, 2008 at 10:27 pm #76569
    ratlaf
    Participant

    Duuuuude!!!  Very nice so far.  I'm only at Chapter 10 but I'm hooked!

    One critique, it's a bit hard to follow who is saying what without quotes and some indicators of who's saying that particular line.  You don't have to identify every piece of dialog but maybe every third or fourth, just to keep any confusion as to who's saying what to a minimum.

    I'm looking forward to reading the rest…  ;D

    October 4, 2008 at 2:54 am #76570
    El_Roy_1999
    Participant

    Thank you!
    I'll see if I can rework as soon as I have the time!

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