[Cowprobe]

Pig Found Flesh-Saturn’s day

His most productive part of the day soon to be over, which was in his case that part without daylight, the man born Walter but self-christened Option 30 made to get some dinner. He kept his shit-kicker heavy boots on as he navigated the corridor of haphazard piles of intermingled possessions and filth throughout the apartment. Blinking against the morning dawn which charged through the shadeless windows, Option 30 plowed his way through the area. The shambles called the living room had a clearing of mess on the sofa in order for Option 30 and his roommate Barkley Files to watch or play the TV which poked like a mountain under discarded junk mail.

Two things immediately made themselves apparent to Option as his eyes adjusted to the morning’s soft hues, an odor almost like perfume and the unusually visible army of six legged filchers that often scattered anytime light was present. The back of the couch was facing Option 30 and kept the source of what sounded like clicking noises hidden from his view. Too tired to gag at the sight of the cockroach pilgrimage he found a relatively unused bowl and began sorting through the cartons for something to fill it with.

Meanwhile a room and a bathroom back Barkley Files was trying to rouse himself from the weirdest dream he ever had. It had something to do about some girl he met at his Veggie Burger job in the College food court. Bark’s ethereal girlfriend had moved in mysterious ways that left him with no choice in regaling her to the vaults of half remembered REM hijincks. Mouth feeling like it was filled with cotton and eyes sealed with sleep Barkley instead shrugged back into the void of unconsciousness.

Back in the kitchen Option 30 was engaging in breakfast alchemy. The mixture of Loco Puffs, Captain Blythe’s, Rice Corpsies, and Honey Bunches Of Sloats bubbled with the nearly expiration date milk that barely moisturized the bobbing crunchy figures of small drowned men and pirates. “MMMMMmmmmmm” a sound quite unlike the floor settling in the morning heat made itself known to Option 30 from the direction of the couch. As he peered over it he almost dropped his cereal. The little goth chick that Bark reined in last night previous was still there that Saturday morning. The swarm of cockroaches from ten minutes earlier were nowhere to be seen. Her mouth was open though and Option’s half seen barely thought out conclusion was that one of those little visitors might have lept down the throat of the larger guest Mandy.

She wasn’t breathing from the looks of things and after perching the cereal bowl safely out of the way Option made to see if she hadn’t died or something overnight. As he approached he heard a crunching sound from her throat and noticed a mouthful of liquid bubble out with what he could only imagine were little chitinous bits. The ichor ran down the side of her face and was absorbed by the borrowed set of clothing from Bark’s rather utilitarian closet. Curious to the point of violation Option got within inches of her face and smelled that same sweet odor multiplied. Her eyes opened suddenly and focused on his face while one of her hands attached themselves to the one piece of equipment that Option didn’t use for music.

Option 30 gulped for air in surprise while Mandy just gulped. Her throat cleared by this point she spoke evenly “So you’re going to keep whatever you thought you saw our little secret?”. As he was about to either punch Bark’s houseguest in the face or try to remove her vice like grip on his tumblies Option noticed that her nails were now an almost luminous black. Having no need for pretense since his package was being mishandled Option shouted “What? Like the way you grow and shrink like a sexual tumor?”. Mandy looked absolutely aghast and took her hand away like it was being burned and muttered “I could just leave forever but I doubt your curiosity would be fulfilled”. Option gave himself some space from the obviously implausible and choked out “My sense of self preservation sure as fuckity fuck fuck would!”. Mandy looked the gawky musician over seemingly not put out at the fact that he may have covertly observed her putting out “Scared of me?” she posed. Option picked his cereal back up in an effort to be nonchalant “Let’s say wary”. Visibly warming to that comment “I like that! About time you had a positive attitude!!!” Mandy purred. Surprised by the lack of hissy fitting on Mandy’s part Option responded “Same thing except with a loosened death grip on my portions”. Mandy looked embarrassed for a moment then grabbed the television controller from its hidden spot between the seat cushions. After that task was done she gave Option30’s sack the sweet freedom it was hoping for the past minute or so. “Sorry” she said quietly as the TV warmed up. “We won’t mention it” Option sullenly answered which made Mandy visibly happier as she moved to provide a place to “Sit with me”.

This close to her Option had a chance to really evaluate the catch that Bark had made last night Friday. Mandy’s skin provided the opposite shade to her dark eyelashes and nails. Her lips were deep red in a way that suggested semi permanent make-up. The tussled dome of her black hair had expertly done streaks of red and blonde that appeared to run all the way to the roots. Her tits were perky underneath Bark’s borrowed shirt as if they were lifted off of a 70’s Playboy while the lines of her graceful neck made a Victorian counterpoint. Her hands were veined like someone who had done a lot of exercise, yet they still were delicate excepting the black talons of her long nails. Her ancestry appeared to be from somewhere in India as her large and expressive eyes and small chin made testament to. As for her legs they were lost in the bagginess of a pair clean work slacks spirited away from Bark’s pilings. Option could taste a strange scent in the air though, not as strong as whatever was drying on the side of her face and shirt but still pervasive.

Finding a roll of unsoiled paper towels nearby Option wet one with his saliva and mopped at Mandy’s face before she had a chance to protest. Looking at the tiny legs and antennae that were apparent on the white of the quicker-picker-upper “Well I guess we won’t be having anymore bug trouble with you moving in” Option quipped. A surprisingly indelicate belch from a surprised Mandy was his only answer.

Tossing the paper towel to be lost in the junk on the floor and wiping his hands on his vinyl pants Option returned to attacking the bowel of cereal. After 2 minutes he realized that his couch mate was staring at him with undisguised interest. “May I help you? Look I had to raid the cupboards bare to find THIS much lady so you’re S.O.L. if you want anything to eat” Option announced. For her part Mandy took the snap with grace instead using it as an in for further observation. “Ohhh there’s little mutineers, psychopaths and marsupial things” Mandy logged, her face inches from the cereal bowel and enraptured with the crunchy bits. Moving it away from her and with a slightly disgusted undertone Option munched “So is that supposed to be some sort of Australia crack?”. The television was finally watchable as the elements in its picture tube congealed in a manner similar to Mandy’s retort “It is now”.

Tired of her levity Option decided to be a prick and stop her from making noise with a challenge. “Okay witch bitch you can do all that stuff” making a pantomime of morphing limbs Option continued “Lets try something that requires a little more finesse”. Getting up to toss the bowl onto a pile of unwashed cutlery Option was hounded by Mandy from her perch on the couch “Fine you got any food coloring?”. Option apparently was surprised by this request and answered “What!! Actually yeah from this one zombie make-up appliance I made last fall for Hallo-”. Only to be interrupted by Mandy’s chirp of “Possibly today? I’m hungry too you know”.

Minutes later the kitchen table’s original mess was transferred roughly to the floor and Mandy, with an improvised garbage bag between it and herself, in its place. She was lying on her stomach and was propping herself up with her arms. “Now do you have any rock magazines? Better yet, you have a flyer for your band?” Mandy implored, and silenced his next question before it was even asked “Boys like you ALWAYS have a band even if its one geek in front of a computer”. The ‘Gods of Metal, Techno and Manna’, ‘The Little Pet Shop Boys of Horror’ and a flyer from Option’s inaugural opening were arranged in front of her. Option 30 was about to protest when she slammed the first vial of cooking pigment like it was a shot of tequila “On second thought with all the stuff Mandy hasn’t died of eating this shouldn’t be too bad” he mentally mused. After the rest vanished down Mandy’s hatch she shook a little and blurted “Now hold me and look through these as if I was the table, let your mind WANDER”. Option obeyed if only to keep her from vomiting where the magazines and bills usually went. He flipped through all three while nonchalantly using her like the table’s surface, he even put his elbows on her.

It was a little while later that Option noticed his elbows weren’t at the original height upon starting his perusal of hot rod and rock art magazines. In fact there was less table visible which after flip flopping in the audio autistic’s mind came to the realization “Mandy, you’re growing bigger so what? I can do that with some pornos, Vaseline and a locked bathroom door”. In time to the final page being turned Mandy did also and made Option loose his breath. She now was properly fitted to his roommate Bark’s clothing all except for her bosom which was marauding from their original boundaries like an invading army. “Well there’s plenty of things I can do in the bathroom that you can’t.. but lets stay focused okay?” Mandy spoke as her front pushed out. She lifted the shirt off of them in time to have her nipples shadow her belly button and the mass behind them obscure half her sitting thighs.

Option was quite sure he’d have to feel up his best bud’s new girlfriend’s tits, in both senses of the word, within a matter of moments. “What’s with this octopus freakshow?” Option yelped as tiny partitions of colors formed a flesh entrapped tie die under Mandy’s skin that flashed and writhed in time to her heaving larger portions. “Nothing you shouldn’t be able to handle…” she said as she slid to the floor standing at her new height of 5’ 10”. The lines of the clothing originally cut for a wageslaving man instead took on an unintended sexiness on her hips and legs and just pointed to her being the queen of kings once her volcanic breasts were considered. She took his hands and placed them on her now suitably temperate flesh. Option was in rapture as his initial pawing created splotches of spontaneous patterns and ‘ink work’ leaving an almost paisley outline around the O30 logo of his band.

“I could be taller you know, with a little help from you” Mandy tempted, a long term fantasy of Option’s was to find a woman that could both look his altitudinous personage in the eye and have a natural set of big tits. Mandy clarified “No I’m not like that lady from Star Trek who also did the voice for Demona on Gargoyles..though you do like.. wings?” Option slowly nodded as his exhausted systems rebooted from the sugar rush of crunchy pirates. “Too bad we’ll have to do tall at least until you take me to the zoo. Help me stretch would you?” Mandy stated with no room in Option’s pants for argument.

Her limbs were almost akimbo to the floor in a lowering fabric stressing position. The fact that she was trying to do a split on the sticky surface that had almost entirely eaten through and replaced the kitchen plastic tile made Option fear for Mandy’s mental malleability as well as her physical. Half an inch from the terrifying collection of fossilized dust bunnies Mandy suddenly stopped, her legs tensing “I think this is low enough”. As her weight fought her legs the muscles within the slacks began to bundle and tighten soon causing the material to flee its seams as if repelled magnetically. Thighs that were a W of teadrop shaped tissue on the top above the knee and below a set of sinew streaked shins taunted Option as Mandy remained at that height for another few minutes. When Option was finally about to run for safety or find something to knock his room mates shifting sweetheart out she told him simply to “Grab my arms please or I’ll pee myself”.

Though the kitchen floor couldn’t get much worse Option hurried to help her up. However instead of pulling her up his efforts instead pulled her out. There were systemic pulses that Option could almost consider the golden mean of BPM electronica coming from Mandy’s midsection that somehow ordered the rest of her to become more so. As he pulled he saw, from even beyond her incredible front, a widening that left a pair of Bark’s workpants in sensually ruined tatters and Mandy with a set of birthing hips that could drop entire litters. The dye streaked noggin slowly climbed and soon shot to eye level with Option’s as her arms stopped lengthening and the rest of Mandy was pulled to her full height. The floor creaked slightly under her new weight and Option noticed that she also wasn’t wearing any sort of shoes “Thinking ahead?” he mentioned quietly to which Mandy nodded.

“Then you’re going to have to take a shower if you want to keep those pretty feet” Option smirked then smiled wide as he noticed she was continuing to fill out. “Really you want to help me?” Mandy stated as her upper torso soon matched her legs however she wasn’t so much cut with muscle as voluptuous with it. She was a fireplug at six four rounded like a set of comfortable cliffs. Option was pretty eager to see how she looked like a water fall.

A voice from the living room caught the surprise of both Mandy and Option 30 “I’m going to try to not ask who I brought home tonight and who the nearly naked powerlifter with the breast implants is and why is she wearing my best shirt but please don’t tell me you ate all the fucking Loco Puffs” Bark wearily shuffled into the kitchen doorway wearing his post hangover sunglasses and victory boxers.

WHERE DID FRIDAY NIGHT GO? WILL OPTION 30 TAP THE CHEEKS OF MANY FORMS? WHO’S GONNA TURN OFF THE TV? MORE AS SOON AS IT’S TYPED!

[Lonebeatle]

I’ve read your stuff before and never cease to like it a lot, you’re a good writer man!!

Keep them comin’ ! 8)

Cheers, Lonebeatle.

[iowabeefpackers]

I ‘gree. Your style is odd, but I hereby deem it "fresh."

Good to see some "post-modern" growth fiction.

Punch-on, Pynchon!!

[Cowprobe]

Just realized the F-bomb must be censored on this forum. Dear reader please replace >I am a poopyhead< with the respective four letter word and see if this chapters exchange makes a little more sense.

[Author]

Posts