[ratlaf]

Disclaimer!!!!  I am NOT a Star Wars geek.  My knowledge of that world is almost exclusively based on the movies and a very few other things I've read.  Forgive me if I get some of the details wrong and I hope you'll enjoy the story…!  Thanks.

This is a request by Lord Daroth!

Star Wars Bounty Hunter
By Ratlaf

The keypad was almost done beeping by the time she was awake.  With a quickness that belied her huge size she rolled naked across the bed, over the little man she’d taken to bed last night, towards her clothes which had her saber tangled up in them, all in the second it took the door to hiss open.  Rolling off the bed she activated the saber and feinted an attack around the side of the bed, rising straight up instead.

As always the Jedi relied on her reading of the future and was moving around the side of the bed.  As a result, Armenia had the Jedi totally blindsided.  She whipped her blade down, disarming the Jedi in three quick moves and swung the blade around to her throat, stopping it less than an inch from decapitating her own Master.  Master Blyle brought her hand up in a telekinetic burst, but as always, Armenia’s muscles flexed, and bulged to nearly inhuman proportions, and totally resisted the force of the attack.

“I keep wondering who’s the master here…  No matter how many times we spar, you never remember how different I am from everyone else!” Armenia taunted.

“I keep wondering who’s the Paduan here… I’m constantly finding you breaking your Jedi vows!  In bed with men, keeping possessions, out at night partying, disobeying orders to follow your own reckless impulses.  You’re a disgrace to the Jedi!”

“Yet here I am with a blade to your throat.  You Jedi are so set in your ways that when you encounter something new you have no idea how to deal with it.  No wonder the Republic is falling apart,” she responded lowering her blade. 

A groan of pain came from the bed where the man she’d slept with was waking up to find that he’d just been rolled over and crushed by a 350 pound, muscle woman who apparently was also a Jedi!  He sat up in bed watching this scene with obvious surprise and curiosity.  Both women ignored him.

“You will report to the Temple at 10 o’clock today Armenia and you will not be late!”

“Yes Master,” she replied, the contempt obvious for the supposed Jedi Knight, and her mentor, whom she’d been able to best for years now.

*

She arrived at the Temple in her own speeder, the latest model, bought with money she’d “recovered” from various criminal informants.  Being a Jedi’s apprentice she had learned a great deal about the criminal organizations that operated in the galaxy and learned how to exploit them to her advantage.  At 24 she was wealthier than the entire Jedi order combined and thoroughly enjoyed it.  Especially since this was the newest top of the line model, and wow did it handle well!

She was also not wearing her robes but a sexy mini-skirt and halter top that showed off her beautiful, Force built, muscles proudly to the world.  Her classic “American” face was somehow more beautiful than the models of the day because it recalled an age and an empire from the shadowy, glorious past.  Her lustrous auburn hair cascaded in subtle curls to the middle of her back, and her breasts bounced slightly as she walked up the stairs of the Temple in her three inch heels.  She was still shorter than most men in her heels, but it was a near thing.

She walked into the council chamber and stood in the middle of the circle, totally unmindful of the looks of distaste she was receiving from all of the Jedi’s, Master Yoda being the only exception.  He was studying her intently.  Master Yoda was the only one who adapted his sparring techniques to match her peculiar traits.  He even seemed to seek her out for training because she was so unpredictable, allowing him to keep his own skills that much sharper.  Even at her best she wasn’t able to beat him as she was most other Jedi, with ludicrous ease…

“A curiosity you are Armenia.” Master Yoda finally addressed her. “Normal you are not with the Force.  Mighty that makes you.  Also, no Fear do I sense in you, or dead you’d be by our hands.  However!  Self discipline you lack.  You are reckless!  You are not destined to be a Jedi,” he sighed, with the weight of his 800 plus years, before going on.  “Dismiss you we must.  Sorry I am too, because a valuable Jedi you would have become.”

“D- dismiss me, you’re firing me, you’re shit canning me!!? After all these years and finally figuring out why I’m different from all of you, you’re getting rid of me just like that,” she said snapping her fingers.  Half the council winced as if they expected her to manifest some other ability previously unheard of.  It was obvious they feared the unknown and didn’t want it among their ranks.

“It’s all those years you mentioned that are the problem.  You’ve been a Paduan for ten years now and are no nearer to your trials than when you first became an apprentice.  You’ve made no progress, all the while enjoying yourself as no Jedi should.” Master Windu retorted.

Master Blyle spoke up next, “Not to mention all the indiscretions and behavior unbecoming a Jedi!  Sex with numerous men, your new speeder, the way you dress, not to mention the criminal contacts you maintain.”

Armenia reeled at the fact that her mentor was speaking out against her, but ultimately she wasn’t surprised.

“Surrender your light saber, you have been deemed unfit to carry the weapon of civilization,” commanded Master Windu.

“You’ll have to come and take it from me.” she replied, drawing it, flexing her bulging muscles and assuming a fighting stance. Five council members engaged her in battle, but as always, they were relying on their ability to sense the future and she sent them chasing their own shadows as she repeatedly feinted, while disarming them one by one.  She didn’t need to draw upon the power of the Force because her massive muscles had been built by the Force.

She’d singlehandedly sliced five of the Jedi High Council member’s light sabers cleanly in two.  Even lifted two of them off their feet with one hand and threw them clear across the council chamber as if she were throwing a pillow.  When it was clear no one else was going to attack she sheathed her saber as she looked a Master Yoda.  He was calmly staring back at her.

“Right I was.  Mighty you are!  Yet, a Jedi you will never be.  Also, knew I did that your saber you would keep, while your honor you would lose.”

The truth of what was happening began to sink in and her shoulders slumped while her prodigious musculature seemed to shrink somehow, making her seem unusually small. 

“Remember,” Yoda continued, “watch you I will.  If turn to the Dark Side you do, kill you, I will…” and with that he leapt out of his chair and in five quick moves, had his saber at her throat, just as she’d had hers to her Master’s earlier that morning.  “Leave now and enter this Temple only in peace.  May the Force be with you Armenia.” Yoda said dismissing her forever.

*

Once outside the temple, she broke down and had to sit in the plaza outside the Temple to vent her grief.  Sure she’d never been wildly enthusiastic about becoming a Jedi, but it was who she was.  She’d been training since she was ten years old.  Later than usual for children destined for the Jedi, but it had defined her childhood and teen years.  It was all she had!

It was her late teen years that undid her.  She just couldn’t resist all the hot boys who found her beauty so irresistible.  Once she’d discovered the pleasures of the flesh, she couldn’t get enough of that either.  Also, once her Midi-Chlorians began to build her muscles to their maximum size possible she couldn’t get enough of the feeling of physical power over the men she was with either!  In the end the pleasure she gleaned from life over-rode the discipline needed to become a Jedi.  The money available in the criminal world didn’t help either and in the end she brought about her own expulsion from the Jedi order.  That, and the Jedi’s own fear of her previously unknown abilities.

After letting the worst of her feelings out she calmed down, cleared her mind and thought about what was next.  She wasn’t thinking long term yet so her thoughts rested upon Carlors, the hot boy she’d been sleeping with the past few weeks.  She felt somewhat endeared to him because he was assertive and ruthless enough to stand up to her and her obvious physical strength, yet was amorous enough of her that she felt she could go to him now for the comfort she needed.

Once at his place she realized something was wrong.  The door had been sliced open and the place was trashed.  Had he been caught?!  She knew he had some shady business dealings but wasn’t sure what they were.  Holding her saber in her hand, but not drawing it, she entered.

He wasn’t there and by the time she made it to the bedroom, where she’d squashed him as she rolled over him this morning, she was startled by his voice behind her!  She spun, feinted and drew her saber, stopping an inch from decapitating her lover.  Near beheadings were cheap today it seemed.

“You’re so much easier to sneak up on than those pesky Jedi.  Good thing they kicked you out, I think…” his deep baritone rumbled.

“Oh Car!  It was horrible…  Yoda himself dismissed me and I don’t know what to do now.  It’s been my whole life.  I needed to see you!”

“Shhh shhh my mighty mite!  Come here,” he said gathering her into his arms and over to the half of the couch not totally destroyed by whomever it was entered his flat.

“Thank you Car.  I know I don’t mean much to you, but thanks!” she said sniffling into his shoulder as she once again nearly crushed him with her bulk.  After a bit his breathing became too labored and he nudged her up off him.

“What are you talking about?!  You mean the universe to me!  My life doesn’t usually lend itself to attachments, but you’re the most thrilling lover I’ve had in my entire life!  It helps that I’m between jobs right now too.  Of course I can be here for you when you’re at rock bottom.  I may need you if I ever hit rock bottom…”

“Really?!  Oh Carlors!  I knew I could count on you!  Thank you…” she paused thinking, “So… Do you like it when I totally overpower you with these gorgeous muscles the Force has built for me?” pinning him to the couch with one hand, hovering over him with her immense muscular bulk and looking at him like a predator about to ravish her prey.

“Oh yeah, especially when you use just one finger to lift me effortlessly into the air…” he mumbled through their kisses.  “Yep, just like that, my gorgeous lover!” he said as he found himself dangling inches below the ceiling while she ripped the rest of his clothes off and totally overpowered him with her strength and passion!

An hour later, as she held him encapsulated by her physique she asked him who’d ransacked his place.

“Oh, the Jedi.  They arrived minutes after you left.  Surely your “Master” had them follow up on me to see if I could lead them to any of the bigger fish.  Naturally they found nothing.  I’ve been doing this too long to be that careless.  Even when you’re factored into the equation.”

“Yeah, I never did figure out what you do, other than knowing it wasn’t legit, just not able to prove it.”

“Then you got an eyeful of me and couldn’t resist?”

“Oh!  You flirt!  I thought you couldn’t resist me when you saw me…?!”

“Well, maybe it was a little of both…  By the way, I think I can help you out.”

“Help me with what?”

“What to do with the next part of your life.  Talk to this guy and tell him I sent you,” he said handing her a holo-disc.  “If you don’t like what he has to say, no harm no foul, just walk away and find something else.”

“Does this have anything to do with what you really do for a living?”

“Perhaps, but right now, I think I’m ready for another dose of you!” he said pouncing on top of her and totally catching her off guard as he seduced her yet again this time he was on top though…

*

When she woke up he was gone.  Also, the light was all wrong.  It was morning again and they’d been making love well into the afternoon.  She realized that she’d slept through the entire evening and night and that it was the next day.  Did he drug her?  She shook her head and used the Force to check her body for toxins.  Nothing.  Why did she sleep?

Groggily she stood and gathered her clothes.  In her pocket she found the holo-disc from Carlors and a necklace with a holo-emitter pendant that she’d never seen before.  Pocketing the disc she activated the pendant emitter and to her great surprise, an image of Master Yoda appeared.

“When the time comes, to Dagoba you will go.”  It then shut down and no matter how many times she tried, it wouldn’t replay the message.  When had he planted this on her?  Did he do it when he was attacking her in the council chamber?  It was perplexing and somewhat comforting as well, knowing that she would meet Master Yoda again.  He was the only Jedi she actually respected, and he knew that.  She put the necklace on and wore it for the rest of her life as a reminder.

Carlors was definitely gone from his flat, and from her life too she intuited.  He’d been there for her at exactly the right time and now it was time to move on with her life.  She was a bit sad but ultimately she knew that they were never going to have a long term relationship.  Besides, she had bigger things to worry about now.  Like what to do with the rest of her life, which brought her back to the disc he’d given her.

“What the hell,” she thought and hopped in her speeder and headed home.  After showering and changing into clothes a bit more utilitarian, not to mention un-shredded by her bulging muscles, she went into her office and scanned the disc for anything virulent.

It was clean so she activated it and it gave her a name and address.  Strapping a blaster to her boot, hidden by the cuff of her pants, and wearing her light saber proudly on her side she stepped out her front door and down the path the Force had laid at her feet for her.

*

“Ahhh, yes, I see what Jango was talking about, you are an impressive young lady, and with definitely potential too…” the greasy little thing was saying in Huttese.  Greasy, little, and thing were really the best way to describe this alien and she had a feeling she’d have to watch him or he’d try to cheat her.

“We need to speak with this fellow,” he said handing her a holo-emitter, “bring him to us with no questions asked and there’s 20,000 credits in it for you.”

“Not credits, hard currency only, and handed to me before I turn him over to you…”

“I thought you’d be difficult, credits or no deal!”

She pulled her saber, disarmed his three goons, and had him at the tip of her blade before he could voice his scream of terror.  “Hard currency only, and seeing as this is my first job, I’ll go easy on you and not demand more for my services!” she commanded, knowing that she had him convinced because anyone with Jedi skills was worth way more than 20,000 for this simple job.

“Very well. Very well, hard currency it is.  Hmmm, very promising indeed…” he muttered to himself as they left.

Once she was alone again the weight of what she’d just accepted hit her and she had to sit down.  Did she really just accept a bounty?  Had she sunk so low?  Wasn’t she better than this?  Then the realization that she was no longer a Jedi hit her even harder and a feeling of bitterness welled within her.  If she wasn’t good enough for the Jedi, she’d embrace the life she’d been given. 

Besides, Bounty Hunting paid much better than the bribes she’d extracted performing her duties for the Jedi.  She’d also need to take a lesson from Carlors and begin masking her true work behind a dummy company that would appear legit but wouldn’t lead the Jedi anywhere…  Since she knew how the Jedi worked, this would be easy for her.

It took her a few days but after setting everything up to cover her tracks, she set out on the trail of her first bounty.

[Keith McCray]

Very well written, and no breaks of Str Wars Lore that I'm aware of.

BTW: as far as I know, anyone can own and use a Lightsaber, they're just considered antiques, and no substitute for "a good blaster at your side."

[Solarian, aka LordDaroth]

Nice:)

The SW fan and the Musclefan got into some serious fight within me:) It was a draw:)

You did excellent work… Thank you…

Do you accept some corrections (not much, just a few thing) form a SW fan? 🙂

Mace Windu's fighting skills were superior to Yoda. Yoda was the more experienced, the more powerful. But Windu was the better fighter.

And a mispelling: not Paduan, but Padawan.

That's all… I am looking forward to the sequel:)

JGrimm : And yes anyone can use a lightsaber. But it's too dangerous. Since the blade has no weight, the Jedi rely upon the Force to guide their movements. An average person could not handle a LS in the proper way.

[ratlaf]

JGrimm : And yes anyone can use a lightsaber. But it's too dangerous. Since the blade has no weight, the Jedi rely upon the Force to guide their movements. An average person could not handle a LS in the proper way.

Yep, when Han Solo used Luke's saber all he was able to manage with it was cutting open that beasts guts to keep Luke warm…

[Solarian, aka LordDaroth]

In the novel (Dark Forces Rising  I think, but I'm not sure – it was a long time since I read the Thrawn trilogy) he used it to cut various parts inside tha fake falcon. People can use it, can kill with it, but they're no match to ANY force user.

But average people can use the lightdagger quite well. Since it's blade is shorter, and can be watched all the time during the fight.

[iceman75]

Great story, reminds me a lot of a story I think Solarian wrote, named the Sith Goddess, very cool seeing a Jedi woman who is hugely muscular and doesn't need to rely on the force to actively do incredible feats of strength. Hope there's more on the way.

[Solarian, aka LordDaroth]

I can assure you, I did not write any story.

Maybe some other Solarian? 🙂

[iceman75]

Hmmm, perhaps, I seem to remember an S in the name, and since you do like Star Wars I immediately figured it was you. Can't remember exactly where I saw the story, though, so I may not be able to find out for sure. I just hope we get to see more of this one, love more description of Armenia's muscle and how strong she is.

[iceman75]

Sorry for the mixup, I just found where the story was posted, at Xtreme Strength, and it was written by Avalian, I guess I remembered the last three letters, of the name and transferred them to the resident Star Wars fan here.

[Author]

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