[Mark Newman]

A friend of mine has just posted his first story, "The Succubus Stones," on DtV. It’s got many of my (our) favorite themes: role reversal, wife draining husband’s strength, revenge, muscle growth, etc.

Try it and let Leswingo know if you like it.

http://www.thevalkyrie.com/stories/1misc19/stones.txt

[Pug]

I thought it was pretty good, ‘cept for the part where LesSwingo didn’t put in an email addy – <G>

Bit extreme for my taste – it’s no fun imagining myself in the resistance to our coming conquerers if I have *no* chance, but that’s a common problem with the genre.

Pug

[Mark Newman]

I agree Pug. I gave him the same comment. I like a few ups and downs in a story. But writing is harder than it looks and it’s his first try.

[Cowprobe]

I was frightened by how Leswingo’s description left me entirely devoid of sympathy for abuser Hank.

I thought I might feel sorry for Hank as he was being whittled away but not really. However I got discouraged from the brutal revenge of abosroption and skipped a fourth of the story to flash forward to the end.

Discovering the isle of the Amazons’ location was a pretty cool plot point though. I’d love to have him flesh out that mythic time and the events that led to the stones being magically created in the first place.

Good story and a fully fleshed characterization. My personal tastes didn’t mesh with the brutal, though somewhat ironic, revenge 😯 . Also the warning before the story was accurate and a very responsable addition.

Here’s hoping to see more of Leswingo’s work. 8)

[Anonymous]

so let’s meet the sister!!!!

cause sometimes one’s just not enough …

nice job!

[Axel3.14]

I’m captivated by the question of what happened to Hank’s mind?

Was his psyche neutralized, or was it just rendered dormant, just waiting for vengence?

The second possibility would explain why the civilization vanished for no reason.

[thechar4]

If that was his first attempt… damn, the rest of us have some catching up to do! Your friend’s certainly got talent, that story was great. I’ll email him this weekend with some feedback 🙂

[trilliwig]

Oh yeah, I don’t think anyone should be ashamed of that effort. I enjoyed this story and the way it made Hank so completely unsympathetic, so I didn’t mind seeing the deck stacked so badly against him, and had no qualms watching his destruction to the bitter end. 🙂

I did sympathize quite a lot with Nadine, and I loved how superhumanly large she got by the end. But I’m not sure if I like her character better at the end of her metamorphosis. I would’ve liked to see into her head more, to better grasp how her personality changed over the course of the story (if it did at all), as most of what we see of her through the middle of the story we saw through Hank’s eyes, whose judgment I wouldn’t trust farther than I could throw him.

[Author]

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