[Silence]

Besides not have been able to think of a tittle, I think I got into a writers block. So I wanted to see if some people have some advice to some of my stories.
This wasn't the original idea I had with the male character, but at least I wrote a little about him.
My discriptions are a little lacking as well, but I want to hear what people have to think first.

Like with most cases that have the same type of chain of events that turned my life upside down, it was all an accident.
But before I get too far ahead of myself, I better lay out the scene.

Ever since I could remember, I’ve had a strange condition that when I begin to stop and look at something for a while, it usually meant an idea was forming in my head.  I get an headache, I black out and then wake up to something I’ve invented, without really knowing why or how  I did it.
  First thing I remember to change was my father’s toaster. Not only could it make toast now, but you could watch 600 channels on it, play music and make fresh air. The only problem with this was that it had no remote or dials, so it changed music and channels at random.
Teachers tried to give me test, to either see or prove that I was a genius. Even if the test proved that I was creative, if didn’t show that I was above average intelligence.
I went to doctors to check on my headaches and blackouts, but they didn’t see anything wrong. They said I had a mild form of epilepsy episodes.

So life when on and went on to invent things. My parents and I couldn’t put Patton on things, since some of them were a little weird, and we couldn’t explain how they worked. Soon the shed that was given to me, was full of my machines. I thank the stars that we had a junk yard nearby or I would have most likely rebuild our home into something.

At the tender age of 13, when I was starting to understand some of the things I’ve created, the toaster I rebuild showed me a bodybuilding contest. Didn’t at first pay attention to it until the women part of the contest showed up. It was like someone hit me from the back and became numb, just staring at the pictures. It was first when the toaster changed to another random channel, that I came back to my senses.
I felt ashamed and hot for some strange reason. It was at this point where I began to try and understand these feelings, looking up magazines, books and even the internet, thought at the time, there  wasn’t much  information about female bodybuilding.

It was also at this time where I began to create injectors that look like it’s something from Star Trek, weird vials with the labels like “FMG no.13”. I didn’t know what the letters stood for and I was getting a little uncomfortable about it.

At 15, I tried to stay out of the shed, trying to work on my school work, reading the naughty magazines my friends have borrowed from their brothers or stolen from their fathers and watching mindless TV. 
This didn’t stop my blackouts and sometimes, the door on the shed was left opened.  I try to ignore it, holding my curiosity at bay as much as I could, but I couldn’t help take a peak sometimes. I was in awe sometimes of what was in there, seeing things I only thought was in science fiction.

Besides taking a peak sometimes, the nearbours child, Ashley, loved to tease me, even calling me her boyfriend.
She was 2 years younger then me, blond hair, green eyes, a little chubby and was the middle child of 5 siblings. Her brothers usually chase her over here. Couldn’t tell if she did it to get my attention or  just very curious, but she often tried to go into the shed. I stopped her every time… except one time.

I had detention because I rebuild the school’s projector, into a laser and that burned a hole in the blackboard, while we were suppose to be watching slides of Greece. I must have happen while I had one of my blackouts, and my teachers know my condition, but they needed to set an example or other kids might try to make some similar  prank… how they were going to build their own lasers, I could never figure out.

My parents weren’t home because they were visiting a sick relative, so they house was suppose to be empty when I got home. But when got to our back yard where the shed stood, the door was opened and Ashley was laying on the ground. To say I feared the worse was an understatement, because it was like a bomb went of in my head and I got dizzy. Numbers, formulas and diagrams when through my head at blinding speed, stuff I didn’t know or had seen, but that somehow felt familiar. I later guessed it was the ideas and thoughts I’ve had while I was in my blackouts. None of the things in my head made sense except for one thing. What ever I invented in the shed, it wasn’t dangerous. I truly hoped so.
I ran to Ashley, taking her inside and put her on the sofa. I called 911 and waited. Ashley was covered in chemicals, many different kinds, judging from the colours. She must have tipped over the table and gotten what ever was on the table over her.
The visions of what I’ve created and thought at the time of my blackout, ran like a buffalo stamped in my head and wouldn’t stop. Something kept telling me she was going to be all right, that she only was in shock, but I just wanted even to be quiet, hitting my head to make what ever was going on in my head to stop. I first stopped when I heard someone subbing. I looked up and saw Ashley crying, telling me to stop hitting myself. As quickly as the train of thought ran through my head, as soon as I saw Ashley was okay, they stopped.

The ambulance came and took Ashley to the hospital, to make sure she was really okay. I held her hand the whole time, making sure she wasn’t afraid. She smiled at me, felt like she was the one trying to comfort me. I stayed with her, till her parents came and told me never to visit her again. I wanted to explain, but I didn’t know what to say, even if I wanted to. I felt lost, confused and angry. Just angry with my self and what has happened. I was picked up by my parents, the ride home was unbearable. We didn’t say anything, my father looked the maddest I’ve ever seen him and judging from my mother, she had cried. We didn’t talk at all the rest of the day.

My father and some of his friends, helped taking down the shed, destroying  everything inside. I felt a little sad, but mostly relived. Dad went through my room, taking my tools, anything that didn’t look right or that I could remember that I had, since I can’t remember what I build in my blackouts looked like.
Ashley came come after a week and heard from my mother she was doing okay and should stay away from the nearbour for a while. Could hear from the screams next door, that Ashley wasn’t pleased, not being able to come over here. Her voice seemed a little louder then usual.
She snuck over every chance she got. She got better and better at it. It was easier for her when she only had to get past my mother, since mom pretended not to see Ashley.  My father sometimes caught her and sent her back, but she learned how to push dad’s button, so she could come and see my anyways.

She loved telling her stories, about how her brothers don’t bully her as much anymore. She even said she was able to push her next oldest brother back, when he was trying to push her into the mud again. Seemed kind odd, since I remember him being a bit bigger then me, being the football team. I’ve known him not to be a bad guy, but he loved to used his natural strength to tease and push everyone around. Kids his age, had a hard time fighting back and he is 3 years older then Ashley.
She even tried to flex for me and I acted an awe at her pose, but something did look like a very little bump. She didn’t look as chubby as she used to either, but thought it was because she was growing out of it.
For some reason, while I let her talk to me about her days, I was waiting for her to tell me what happened in the shed, but she never came around to it. I didn’t pressure the matter and she seemed happy.
One time, when she was about to go home for the day, she looked sad at me and played with her fingers. She asked if I was mad at her for loosing the shed. I ruffled her hair, told her that I wasn’t sad and I would have been sadder if she didn’t like me. I felt very guilty and wasn’t sure if what I said was the right thing, because I didn’t know if she was okay being around me. But she looked very happy, gave me a surprisingly strong hug and went skipping out the door.

At the age of 18, I left home and moved into the city. I still had my blackouts, but I’ve somehow hidden my inventions, even from dad and his monthly visitation of my room since that time.
I moved into a flat, near the schools I attended. Was also lucky that a gym was nearby and they held bodybuilding contest. Even bought a lot of tapes, DVDs and magazines with any good female muscle in them.
Seemed the lessons I got, instead of getting harder, they seemed to get easier, but I didn’t let it on, didn’t was to work in a lab or a workshop. I have seen what I can build in my blackouts when I only hard junk to work with, I dreaded what I could do, if I had advanced tools and chemicals. I’ve tried to get out of workshop or chemistry, but was forced to attend because I had no big problem working in such places.

Our class went to a farm, to help a farmer with some of the work. It was to teach how farming life is like, while other classes worked once a week in something like a firm or factory.
There were come animal favourites that the students liked to meet, my favourites were the cow Betsy, the dog Mute, the cat Ms. Marble  and the pig Daisy.
I guess because they were old animals, no one really cared for them, only about kittens and such.  I spent some of my free time visiting them and giving them treats. I could tell that some of them where on their last legs, especially Betsy. The farmer told me she wasn’t giving as much milk as she used to. She would most likely be put to sleep soon. I felt sorry for her.

Once in chemistry class, I had an image in my head about some formulas and two DNA strands. Didn’t make much sense at the time, but besides that, Betsy ran through my mind, along with the other animals. Within two weeks, I had made 4 different coloured pills and thought long and hard about if what I’m about to do, is the right to do. I was going to give 4 untested pills to 4 old animals, with the idea of making them young again. Kept looking at the pills from time to time within the next 3 days, either as a curse of Frankenstein or cure to an illness. About 70-80% of how the animals will react to the pills, is still unknown to me and I created them while I had a few blackouts.
When I heard that Betsy was ill and will be shot soon, I took my chance and sneaked over to the farm at night. Betsy was in a stall with a blanket covering her. She was breathing slowly. I feed her the pill meant for her and just sat around. I had crossed a line and couldn’t turn back. I knew where Ms. Marble, Mute and Daisy where, so I decided to give them their pills as well. I guess the curiosity of my young self, the mind numbing question to if this really is going to work like my guts tell me it will and being tired, I just went for it.

I didn’t wait for the results and went home. I slept in and first attended classes the day after. When I got to the school, everyone was chattering about something with the farm. I asked some of my classmates what was wrong. Betsy and the others animals I gave the pills to, were feeling better then they had in years. In fact, they had even grained a little weight, and the farmer could swear that Betsy and Daisy have added bulk. I was happy they had it better, but the bulk made me uneasy when I first heard about it.
Then my classmates told me some animal rights groups went down to the farm and took some test and samples. The results were unusual, the had not only gotten better, but stronger as well. Seems Betsy had a run in with a bull that wanted to mount her and she didn’t want that. She sent it flying 3 meters across the field where they were. The bull wasn’t badly hurt, but it was surprised and kept away from Betsy. 
I couldn’t got to the farm that day, because I worked in a fast food joint, but when I got there the next day, I was told the animal were gone.  Betsy, Ms. Marble, Daisy and Mute were all goon. They had forced their way out and were on the loose. I was thinking it was odd no one has seen a cow, a dog, a cat and a big, that was rumoured to have gained twice their original sizes in bulk. They had gone this morning and the farmer said he had noticed some other changes in the animal physic. He had seen big masculine bulls before, but Daisy’s muscle grouping was off more and more since the morning he found her well and full of life again.
I suddenly imagined the cartoon, “animal farm”, where the animals of the farm took over and acted as human. The only change to the vision was that in their changes, it might indicate they could be strong enough to take over a town. I hoped I was wrong.  I helped the farmer with looking around, but their traces disappeared after a while. We looked until the sun set and we didn’t have anywhere else to look.
I went home, tired and depressed. I couldn’t believe what I had done, what I was capable of. I had created 4 super powered female animals, that is now roaming around and doing god knows what.  When I was about to put my key into the door, the lock was broken, looked like it’s been pushed in by force. I sighed, expecting someone have just burgled me and didn’t seem to bother me as much under more normal circumstances.  I suddenly froze when I heard that someone was still inside. I tried to open the door quietly and just enough to look inside, but the door was so badly damaged, it made a load noise. The sounds suddenly stopped and I was a second away to make a run for it, when something that looked like a well build arm, with a lot of hair and long nails that for some reason looked like claws, grabbing a hold onto my shirt and pulled me in. What first greeted  me, was the smell of a farm.

[Fonk]

I really like what you've got so far. It's a great idea and I'd love to see where you're going to take it.

So the question is, what sort of advice are you looking for? Do you want suggestions on where to go with it, or suggestions on how to improve what you've already got?

[garyguy]

I really like it, please continue writting. I hope we haven't seen the last of Ashley.

[Silence]

I really like what you've got so far. It's a great idea and I'd love to see where you're going to take it.

So the question is, what sort of advice are you looking for? Do you want suggestions on where to go with it, or suggestions on how to improve what you've already got?

Well first is the gramma problem, since english isn't my native language. Then is that I wanted at a certain point Ashley to return(She won't show up physically yet, but still) and then there is going to pop in a villian that is going to use our poor hero's talents. THing is I don't know if I should branch out the story with the animals, that they turn up somewhere else and from their create their own story.

[Max]

Well, about english not being your native language, don't worry. You are doing great (even better than me when I start to write in english  😆 ). So relax and welcome to the group  😀

Certainly, I speak for most people when I said that Ashley should pop back at some point. Something I find intriguing is that 3 years after the incident, he hadn't notice any radical change in her since her confession.

If she has being changing gradually, maybe you want to explain that a time after the incident she moved to live with her aunt or something like that and he hadn't see her since then. That way, if she reappears, she can be a 16 years old super babe with great strength and muscles.

This is just a suggestion of course.

About the villain, he will be necesary. After all, a girl with big muscles needs someone to used them on, don't you think?  😉

About the animals, well, that is your decision. You can always write a pararel story and show what the animals are doing, but just keep in mind that this is an Amazon forum, so unless the animals acquired human features, I don't know how a story with them will be received.

Certainly is they somehow got altered gaining human form and being able to talk, that will be a very interesting aside story to read.

I really wish you the best with your story and don't forget to put it a good name.

Max

[Author]

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