[stmercy2020]

Reading over this sample and the responses to it, I was reminded of a line from "One True Thing"- Meryl Streep is explaining to Renee Zellweger about a difference of opinion she has with Zellweger's father regarding communicating to an audience (he's a college professor and a published writer).  She says, "Your father always says, 'Less is more.'  Sometimes, more is more."  I think it's worthwhile to keep that in mind as you write.  Sometimes, the details can get in the way of the story, and other times they are necessary to enhance the story.

The other thing I noticed, and it may be entirely me, is that you occasionally use words that carry a secondary meaning that may not be quite what you intended.  The example that comes to mind is in this line:

there must have been dozens of turgid solid muscles blanketing that arm

the word turgid literally means large or swollen, but it carries secondary meanings that imply rudeness and disrespect.

As I haven't yet read the finished product, I'm going to hop off to do that now.

I lie.  I did read "A Love Refined…" and enjoyed it very much.  The detail was rich and rewarding, but not so dense that it caused the reader to lose sight of the plot.

[Mimi]

the word turgid literally means large or swollen, but it carries secondary meanings that imply rudeness and disrespect.

I have to re-state that this excerpt isn’t complete, edited, or finished.  Will the word “turgid” stay?  Not sure…  a lot will probably be re-worded and adjusted throughout the next few weeks.  Hopefully, it just gives an indication of what the story is and its prose.  What I hope to do is to establish an elaborate sense of word structure given its historical theme.  It won’t be your quick and typical story of “girl meets girl, girls sleeps with girl and they live happily ever after”.  ::)  Well, in some ways yes, but I want to create a richer texture to the characters and their respective environments to set the tone. 

Peace and Love,

[stmercy2020]

I wanted to apologize if my previous post seemed a little harsh- it wasn't meant to! 

I understand that this is still a work-in-progress, much as most of the things I post are, to one extent or another.  It is very good- make no mistake about that!  If it wasn't good, I probably wouldn't have commented at all.

My comments were simply intended to help you gain just one more perspective (mine) on the wonderful work that you do.

As you say,
Peace and Love.

[Mimi]

No worries, sweetie.  I completely understand how two dimensional words can often be misread, especially on message boards.  But honestly, I did start to wonder, but then realized it was just me who misunderstood it.  I don’t get ruffled very easily, unless it’s a topic that’s near and dear to me, OR it’s the Rosie O’Donnell thread in ‘Free For All’.  😉 

Yes, peace and love, darling.  I emphatically champion both principles, and was glad to see you do too.  :-*

I’ll try to look through your stories, probably tomorrow since I am flying home tonight.  *Ugh* Its been a LONG week… thank God I’ve had these boards to keep my mind full of life!

Be good sweetie, and we’ll talk soon.

XOXOXO’s

 

[Mimi]

[font=Times New Roman]Please keep in mind that this is a ROUGH DRAFT, not the final polished one.  I'm just trying to gauge what others think, that's all.  I encourage feedback, as long as it is positive and not offensive.

Thanks,

~Mimi [/font] 

Hours later, in the middle of the barren desert…

On the distant horizon rode a flock of majestic horses.  The company from Zafarana had arrived just moments before as Queen Mawiyah stood out in the dry lake bed, flanked by four of her finest assassins.  The early morning sun had crept over the horizon, casting a gentle radiance upon the setting.  Mawiyah glanced out at the sunrise, and shook her head in sorrow… it was such a pity that such a lovely day would go to waste.  Sighing, Mawiyah gathered her courage, assuring herself that perhaps this was the Gods gesture to bless this rendezvous.  Mawiyah always had hope…

Germania’s conclave rode up at last as Mawiyah at last saw the feared warrior Rebekka perched high atop her horse, looking almost celestial in her polished breastplates and armor.  A silver-plated helmet covered Rebekka’s face, leaving a thin “T” pattern for her to look through and breathe.  The majestic site of such an imperial goddess brought about a chill through Mawiyah’s spine.  Not of fear, but of heartfelt admiration.  Rebekka shined in the sunlight… the contrast of her golden skin matched to the sterling armor was ravishing.  Yet the amount of armor was meager, allowing the majority of her brawny muscles to be seen and understood.  Behind her sat Hayam, who clung to her messiah like a faithful dog, still outfitted in her barbaric garb.  The spectacle was breathtaking… a tall mighty goddess with her devoted vassal in tow…

“This vista is the kind that artists can only aspire to paint.” The queen thought to herself.

Mawiyah’s assassins quickly dug in, but not before the Queen signaled them to stand down.  Mawiyah felt something vastly distinct about Rebekka and her throng of grubby combatants.  Her instincts hinted nothing of violence or war, as she feared.  She prayed for her hunch to be accurate as Rebekka and her men dismounted their stallions.  Hayam followed, but knelt down in submission as she watched her master abandon her.  At long last, Mawiyah finally saw the spellbinding glory and splendor of Rebekka… watching her skillfully step down her horse, in awe of every swollen muscle on her body ruptured with such force in her stride.  Mawiyah had never gazed upon such a picturesque woman in her entire life.  Rebekka had all the muscular tone, size, and structure of a man but exuded far more gracefulness than she expected.  The hulking conqueror sauntered to the Queen’s assembly, taking off her cumbersome helmet as the breeze caught her flaxen locks, revealing a beautiful innocent face.  The Queen glanced away, aghast by her enemy’s worthy looks.  Rebekka’s eyes quickly affixed to Mawiyah, shining like an illustrious star in the blackest of night.  The Queen caught her breath, feeling as if Rebekka was looking right into the seductive realm of her sensual essence. 

“Oh my.” The Queen whispered to herself, admiring the sleek smoothness of Rebekka’s angled legs support and carry her golden mountainous flesh.

For Rebekka, this was the moment she had dreamed of for too long.  All the whispers of this Queen’s luxuriant customs, how her eyes could beguile the mightiest of mercenaries… how the gentle sway of her hips could leave any man or woman ailing with salaciousness.  And there she stood, beautified by an overflowing white ensemble, curving and hugging every supple curve the Gods of beauty and divinity has blessed Queen Mawiyah with.  Rebekka’s gaze instinctively fell to the Queen’s robust cleavage, unveiled to emphasize their enticing prominence.  Everything that the hulking stallion had heard of this majestic seductress was correct.  Queen Mawiyah was indeed a radiant sight to behold.

Both women sized each other up in every means accessible.  Their body language began its mating ritual, slinking and inquiring to see just how evil or loving the other was.  Finally, at long last, Queen Mawiyah and the warrior Rebekka stood within four feet of each other with their respective garrisons.  The Queen caught her breath as did Rebekka, both desperately trying to be the mightiest of the pair.

“I am Queen Mawiyah, ruler and matriarch of the peaceful Kingdom of Zafarana.” She proudly said.

“Rebekka, commander of the army of Germania.” Replied Mawiyah’s archenemy, finally in the presence of this glorified female.

Their eyes stabbed the others, determined and true.  Their eyes looked far beyond the realm of their hostilities, seeking the inner truth to their demands… desperate for emancipation in the throes of feminine ecstasy.  At first sight, Rebekka’s courageous physique was erotically frightening.  It was all both women could do from disrobing each other with their clairvoyant eyes.  The Queen had never before looked at such a mammoth woman.  Even her finest soldiers were no comparison to the sheer bulk and strapping brawn this woman carried with such sanctity.  Despite the harsh silver armor, the Queen was able to revere Rebekka’s far reaching, spawning limbs.  Mawiyah had to gather herself, for she knew any sign of unwavering attraction could be seen as a weakness.  But in all the sweet rich pleasures Mawiyah had loved with all the countless women she had shared her bed with, never before had a woman’s mere presence leave Mawiyah so feeble… so aroused.  She had expected to abhor this towering beast… yet quite the opposite was so true.  All Mawiyah wanted to do was skip the charade of diplomacy and lustfully taste every thick, teeming muscle on Rebekka’s heroic golden body.

“I have come to discuss conditions of what you seek.” The queen added.

“Very well.” Rebekka replied.  “Surrender your throne, and I will see to it that you and your assemblage are given safe passage to the whatever land you wish to take refuge in.  Not one drop of blood will be spilt.”

“Let us speak plainly, Commander.” The Queen abruptly pronounced.  “You have come here to claim something which is not yours.  We are a peaceful domain who champions love, not war.”

“War is upon you, whether you wish it or not.” Added Rebekka.

“And there is no victory in conquering a far less superior army than yours.  We both know how easily of a triumph it would be.” Said Mawiyah.

“That much is certain.” Rebekka followed.

“Then allow me to propose a more diplomatic understanding to our contention.” Mawiyah appealed.

“I’m listening.” Sternly replied the hunky warrior.

“Leave us.” Ordered the queen to her men. 

The assassins stood dumbfounded by her order.

“Now.” Mawiyah commanded.

Hesitant, the four assassins complied as Rebekka nodded to her soldiers, giving them permission to step away.  Now it was just the two women, alone… together at last.  Despite her proud and overbearing mannerisms, Rebekka was trembling like a helpless little girl inside.  For over a year she had wanted to meet this beloved queen, to see for herself just how intoxicating her voluptuous flesh was.  Now that she stood with this icon of lust and beauty, she had no trace as to what to say or do. 

“Thank you for sending your conscripts off.” The queen said in a gentle-hearted tone.

The kind verbiage caught Rebekka off guard.  Her tone was unexpected, but so pleasing.

“Your welcome, your majesty.” Replied the colossal barbarian.

The queen offered a thin smile, extending her hand outward… “May we?” hinting they take a walk.

Rebekka agreed as she stood beside the gorgeous Queen’s body.  She sighed, trying not to show any indications of attraction or intrigue.  Alongside each other, the two sauntered away as Mawiyah tried to come up with a way to save her kingdom.

“Commander, I’d like to propose a far more creative alternative to your wishes.” Mawiyah said in a more relaxed tone.

Her inhibitions were cast away as she gave into her well-known tactic of ultimate seduction and temptation.  As any woman knows, perception is keen and often true… and Mawiyah knew when someone’s eyes had visually ravished her flesh.  She saw the trepidation in the mighty vixen’s eyes, and gave chase.  Seduction was her best attribute in her adaptation of diplomacy.

“I propose, that instead of violence and bloodshed, that we all discuss these matters over a feast this evening.” Suggested the queen, making sure her deep inviting cleavage was visible for Rebekka to admire. 

“You and your staff would be our honored guests, my handsome warrior.” Bowed Mawiyah as Rebekka’s heart exploded.

“Did she just call me ‘handsome’?” Rebekka asked herself before returning a courteous bow.  “Is it this obvious that we are so drawn to one another?”

“I accept your charming offer, your Majesty.  It would be an honor, likewise.” Replied Rebekka, clearly taken by her royal seducer.

Mawiyah’s mouth crooked open, casting a wanton gaze of sensuality at her would be conqueror.

“Our kingdom would welcome the mightiest, most exquisite woman in all the region.” Cooed Mawiyah, stepping in toward Rebekka before her eyes fell down to gaze at Rebekka’s protruding chest.

Rebekka caught her breath as she could clearly see down Mawiyah’s buxom chest.  Those heavy breasts, so ample… so full… and the captivating darkness of Mawiyah’s deep cleavage cried for Rebekka’s face.  All the mediocrity of war and tact were cast aside in favor of seduction… hunger… wanton need.  There would be no lies between these two women.  No deception, nor shame.

Quivering in reverence, Rebekka tried one last time to thwart her seducer.

“Forgive my arrogance, but… if you’re using seduction as a weapon… I’ll kill you so quickly.” Rebekka whispered, trying to shake off the intoxicating aura of attraction.

Mawiyah stepped in, standing within inches of her archenemy.  Rebekka towered over Mawiyah, her sleek polished muscles dwarfing Mawiyah’s smaller, motherly flesh.  The stirring contrast between brute strength and gentle flesh captivated the two beyond all else.  Mawiyah knew that Rebekka had taken the bait, but was not going to deceive her convictions in anyway.

“I don’t believe you.” Uttered Mawiyah as her gaze met Rebekka’s.

“Don’t underestimate me.” Replied Rebekka.  “I’ll enslave you faster than I did Hayam.”

“Perhaps I already am enslaved?”  Mawiyah whispered back. 

“Ooooh.” gasped Rebekka, looking away for a possible retreat from Mawiyah’s charms. 

In a low, libidinous voice, Mawiyah pursued her warrior; “… on my knees like her, stripped of my robes… unhindered by title or royalty… just a vassal in your army… consoling your every whim.”

With that, Mawiyah’s right palm gently came to rest on Rebekka’s thick dirty arm.  Their first touch paralyzed the two… Mawiyah closed her eyes, enthralled by the rugged thick skin in her hand… Rebekka sighed in the surreal reality that this woman, who she had secretly longed for and heard so much about, was at long last, bestowing her with such a pure touch.  Her one sweet dream had come true.  Mawiyah’s gentle touch quelled the years of anger and bloodshed, extinguishing the fires of wrath that poisoned Rebekka’s heart… a dazzling beacon of light in a world of utter darkness.

Mawiyah’s hand tediously drifted down Rebekka’s sculptured arm, inevitably grasping Rebekka’s hardened hand.  Rebekka opened her eyes, gazing down to see their hands become entwined… it was as if she had stepped out of her body to watch their first touch ripen.  Their arms joined, lifting together as Mawiyah flattened her palm against Rebekka’s, gazing at the striking difference of size.

“So beautiful.” Cooed Mawiyah, observing the remarkable contrast in size.

It was as if both women had been peacefully shifted into another realm of existence.  Mawiyah just couldn’t believe how fantastic Rebekka looked.  So big… robust… strong.  “How could a woman become this big?” Mawiyah asked herself, nuzzling her hand to Rebekka’s in a thoughtful trance.  “Maybe she’s the one I have prayed for all my life?”  Indeed, the Queen had always been attracted to power and strength.  But her misconceptions that muscle belonged to a man were seductively being erased.  Power just wasn’t for men, but for women as well.  And with each passing moment, Mawiyah knew more and more that this woman had to be worshipped… she had to be cherished as a Goddess of the most righteous privilege.

“Come to me.” Begged Mawiyah as Rebekka curled her fingers around Mawiyah’s. 

Rebekka swallowed, coping with the intoxicating aura of beauty and Mawiyah’s passion.

“Yes.” She helplessly replied.

With that, Mawiyah stepped back, still clinging to her enemy’s hand.  Their shared gaze of wanton bliss assured the couple that the initial hints of romance would not be neglected.  No words needed to be uttered, for all hope and desire was conveyed by their eyes, a language only a woman could discern. 

“On the morrow.” Rebekka softly pledged.

Mawiyah nodded, turning around to rejoin her armed guard.  Tomorrow would not come soon enough for the enchanted, hopeful lovers.

Both women returned to their respective corps as the vows of their first encounter haunted their souls.  As Rebekka mounted her stallion, she felt as if a thousand voices of Heaven’s most cherished angels sang the sweetest euphony.  And for Mawiyah, all she could see in her mind’s eye was Rebekka’s golden physique, bursting with unending strength and boundless splendor.  Had it not been for responsibility and duty, the couple would have found themselves writhing together in marvelous bliss upon the sand… making love under the scorching hot sun, screaming in sordid ecstasy, tasting the sweet elixir of the other as nature had so perfectly intended.

That night, Mawiyah and Rebekka could not stifle their thoughts of one another.  Yet they could not try…  their destiny was unavoidable and without doubt. 

The Next Day…

The Queen ordered her servants to prepare the main banquet hall for the arrival of their guests.  Positioning her finest chefs, their instructions were to prepare a meal worthy of the world’s finest kings.  Dozens of workers and laborers toiled throughout the day, cleaning and anticipating for the visitation.  Naturally, Queen Mawiyah’s instructions were met with fiery resistance from her advisors, but her orders stood…  she knew exactly what she was doing.

In the early afternoon, the Queen called for Aludra to dress her in her chamber.  The two happily reunited, and after a flurry of soulful kisses, Mawiyah swept her Lady in Waiting off to her bedroom to tell her all about the brawny warrior. As the couple excitedly picked out the best revealing gown in Mawiyah’s closet, Aludra sensed her Queen’s heart lie elsewhere.  Considering their heartfelt pledge to each other just the day before, Aludra knew her Queen came back a different woman.  But considering the nature of the Queen’s meeting with Rebekka, and how it could avoid a terrible war, Aludra kept her sorrow to herself. 

Later in the day, lookouts announced the approach of a squad of horseback riders on the distant horizon.  Leading them was Rebekka, bearing a white flag of truce.  The anticipation was at an all time high as word of the goddess’ advance quickly reached the Queen.  Ordering the massive gates to be opened, Mawiyah rushed through the courtyard and into the main courtyard to greet her awe-inspiring guest of honor.  Much to her objection, the Queen reluctantly agreed to have her personal guards stand ready, just in case.  It was a reception that defied all others… throngs of Zafarana’s finest flowers embellished the courtyard, setting a peaceful tone that would hopefully sway the peace talks.  And on special orders from the Queen, the nine women who were originally brought to Zafarana to seduce the Queen were ordered to the courtyard, dressed in the most picturesque and suggestive apparel possible.  On cue, the women knelt on the ground; to entice Rebekka’s men… the Queen felt showcasing their wide hips and thick thighs would lure Rebekka’s escort, who by all means were eager for sex.  Ultimately, the Queen knew full well that the key to avoiding a war was love… and lust.

As the squad stampeded into the main courtyard, the Queen watched from her throne, admiring the heroic stature of Rebekka atop her horse.  As before, Rebekka wore her freshly polished armor and helmet, seeming absolutely fearless.  It was as if she was born to lead and command.  Mawiyah couldn’t help herself from staring at the mighty gladiator’s sweaty body atop her stallion… the graceful sweep of those astounding forearms, baptized in rich, arousing shadows.  The stout muscles beneath the bronzed skin, writhing so effortlessly as she turned the reins of her horse.  The Queen sighed, thunderstruck by the indubitable magnetism Rebekka exuded, casting the most wanton spell of lust upon the royal matriarch.  Little did Mawiyah know that her enemy’s heart suffered the same affliction of salacious craving. 

Dismounting her steed, Rebekka lifted the crude metal cuirass from her head, freeing the lengthy flocks of caramel hair that Mawiyah hopelessly wanted to comb her fingers through.  The men followed her lead, standing behind their leader as the throng of Mawiyah’s suitors warmly greeted Rebekka’s troops.  As predicted, the war torn men were instantaneously beguiled by the stirring parade of near naked women… all of them drawn to their thick tan hips that begged for a man’s hot seed.

Standing from the monarch's rightful place, Queen Mawiyah sauntered down to face her enemy.  On instinct, Rebekka looked up to catch the queen’s lustrous gaze.  As their gaze married one another’s, all things surrounding Rebekka and Mawiyah ceased to exist.  Rebekka had dreamed of her mahogany eyes throughout the night before, speculated how good those hips would feel in her mighty grasp.  She knew as Mawiyah did that all this pageantry was for show, but in all of Rebekka’s wildest fantasies did she ever imagine she would fall so deeply in love with the world’s most sought after Queen.  But Rebekka was an experienced vanquisher, and she knew that in order to bed the Queen of Zafarana would take hours of planning and days of courtship.

Mawiyah’s balanced stroll couldn’t subdue the irresistible swagger of her wide hips, and she knew it.  Of course, the scarce royal garb she had chosen hardly covered those syrupy thighs or smooth stomach she had.  Rebekka hesitated, filling her eyes with the luscious offering of such healthy buxom flesh.  “Those hips.” She thought to herself, swallowing her anxiety.  “Fertile.” Was the just one word that came to her mind.  “So lusciously fertile.”  Rebekka readjusted her stance, trying to shake off the frailty, but Mawiyah kept bombarding Rebekka with every weapon of seduction she had in her shameless arsenal.  Rebekka’s gaze slithered up to relish the plentiful overflow of Mawiyah’s breasts, partially covered by the thinnest of silk.  Each golden hued orb, so full and ripe, teemed with ample hope.  And the well-rounded cleavage… that mysteriously dark abyss that cried out Rebekka’s name yesterday was now wailing once more.  Each and every step the Queen took produced the gentlest of ripples washing across her breasts, equal to smooth waves lapping upon a seashore.  The slow, sensual rhythm induced a shudder of untarnished appetite throughout Rebekka’s barbaric frame.

The Queen’s strut ceased, coming to within inches of the solid woman.  Both commanders had quietly agreed with their telling gaze that their time together would be nothing short of remarkable.  It was so utterly obvious what they craved, and that answer was only within the confines of each other’s arms.  For the Queen, Rebekka would be her greatest fantasy come true… and for Rebekka, sharing a bed with this goddess of the desert would not only be her first time with a woman, but the finest victory of her military career. 

Kneeling in admiration, Queen Mawiyah slowly bowed her head while keeping eye contact with Rebekka’s sapphire eyes.

“Welcome to Zafarana, mighty Rebekka.” Mawiyah spoke.  “We welcome your indisputable beauty and strength.”

With that, the Queen’s left hand cradled Rebekka’s, bringing it to her mouth for an unhurried kiss upon the back of her scarred, war torn hand.  Rebekka’s brow crimped, overpowered by the lethal eroticism her kiss brought. 

Rebekka stammered; “It’s… it’s an honor to be your guest, your majesty.”

Mawiyah gazed up at Rebekka through her eyebrows, keeping her lips flattened to the leathery skin of her adversary.  She could see the dire hope weep from Rebekka’s eyes… she knew then and there that war would not solve their quandary.  This fateful encounter would produce something far more everlasting than the demise of innocent life. 

Rebekka bent her knee, showing her honor to the Queen as both stood before the other in encouragement.

“Well, so be it.” Mawiyah followed with a knowing grin.  “We have private quarters for each of your advisers.  You should find the accommodations quite suitable… each will have their own private handmaiden for any wish they so desire.”

“Most kind.” Replied Rebekka, wondering who would be her personal handmaiden.

Mawiyah carried through with the seduction, showing her strapping young debutante around the surrounding city.  Rebekka’s advisors were quick to retire to their chambers with their eager chambermaids, leaving the queen and the warrior alone to stroll the streets of the capital city.  Thankfully, Mawiyah ordered her personal guards to stand down back in the courtyard for she knew there would be no harm to befall her. 

Their leisure walk was uninterrupted as Mawiyah showed Rebekka all the wonders of her imperial city.  Their attraction to each other was unmistakable, ultimately blessed with the occasion to befriend the other.  The couple strolled side by side while Rebekka absorbed the rich sultry tone of the Queen… bystanders fled the streets in Rebekka’s monstrous advance, dreading the innumerable rumors of Rebekka’s vulgar evil.  The Queen did her best to dispel the alarm, but Rebekka knew her imposing appearance often drew fear and malevolence.  Yet one small girl, perhaps 7 or 8 years of age stood alone in a safe corner of a nearby alley, gawking at the towering warrior.  Rebekka stopped, as did Mawiyah.

“Are you going to kill us all?” asked the sweet girl.

Rebekka made her way to the young girl, kneeling in front of her with a genuine smile.

“No.” she replied.  “You have no reason to fear me.”

Mawiyah stood behind, smitten by Rebekka’s kindhearted gentleness.

“But you’re so big.  You don’t look like a girl.” Continued the little girl.

Mawiyah stepped in…

“Beauty doesn’t always come in what you think is pretty, sweet girl.” Mawiyah said.  “Being pretty doesn’t mean everyone thinks you’re pretty.  Its what is inside that makes you truly beautiful.”

“Do you think she is beautiful?” questioned the little girl.

“She is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, yes.” Answered Mawiyah.

With a smile, the little girl ran away, leaving Rebekka’s heart enamored by Mawiyah’s sincere words.

Both women didn’t know what to say.  It was a moment of unadulterated realization of the deepest sense.  Rebekka reached down, grabbing a small pebble on the street to stray her attention.

“No one has ever…” Rebekka started before despondency set in.

Mawiyah’s feminine instincts recognized the tang of sadness as she knelt beside the mammoth woman.  Looking at her in concern, Rebekka struggled to maintain her composure.

“No one has ever defended me like that.” Rebekka said as her voice cracked.

It was now or never.  Mawiyah sighed, knowing how hard her life must have been.  It was a moment of trust that was so essential…  Mawiyah lifted her right hand to lay it upon Rebekka’s rock solid shoulder, but stopped… she knew if she touched her again that it would culminate their first step towards the undiscovered realm of total magnificence.  Mawiyah cast aside her final doubts, laying her shivering fingertips upon the swells and glens of Rebekka’s solid muscle.  A faint gasp of astonishment fled from Mawiyah’s lips…  even relaxed, her warm skin was hard as solid rock.  She wanted more…

“Perhaps its time someone should?” Mawiyah soothingly whispered.

Rebekka turned her teary eyed face, meeting Mawiyah’s assuring eyes sooth away a lifetime of humiliation.  Both searched throughout each other’s eyes for the truth; that profound naturalness only a woman can understand.  The magical prominence of sharing their first kiss drifted about the couple, intoxicating them by the mere truth that this was indeed a moment in time.  But this was hardly the place for Mawiyah and Rebekka to share their first kiss.  Their budding promise of romance appealed for a celestial home… a realm where privacy was intact, and fondness was heavily encouraged.  Mawiyah lifted her hand, gently brushing Rebekka’s pronounced jawbone in subtle urgency.

“Let me show you your berth.” Mawiyah uttered, wiping away the ebb of tears from Rebekka’s cheek.

Standing together, the Queen led her robust guest to the other side of the city where a clandestine bungalow awaited a regal visitor.  Mawiyah opened the door, showing Rebekka in.

“Watch your head.” Warned the Queen as Rebekka stooped over to walk in, smiling as they shared their first hint of amusement.

“Oh, that smile.” Rebekka told herself, watching the graceful contours of Mawiyah’s face give birth to a welcomed smile.

“Where is my handmaiden?” asked the warrior, setting down her helmet and sword.

Rebekka turned back to see Mawiyah on her knees, bowing at her feet. 

“No, no, please your majesty.”  Rebekka professed, quickly taking Mawiyah’s hands in hers in protest.  “No.  A woman of your beauty and status needs not kneel.”

Rebekka easily helped Mawiyah to her feet, involuntarily hoisting her into the enveloping thick columns of her arms.  The sudden embrace took both women off guard, giving the Queen an impeccable chance to actually feel the massiveness of Rebekka’s arms.  Her palms rested on her forearms, remaining there as Mawiyah deeply inhaled, poising herself in the proximity of such untamed strength.  Rebekka didn’t budge.

Crippled in anxious admiration, the Queen faintly voiced; “Oh my… so… so… big.”

Mawiyah’s moist palms glided up the glossy smoothness of those arms, taking her time as she felt the elevated mounds and thick twine of pure muscle roll beneath her trembling palms.  Rebekka’s chest heaved in short breaths, bewildered that a woman as beautiful as Mawiyah was touching her… could this moment really be happening?  How could the Gods of mercy and compassion bestow her with such a prized Goddess? 

“Are you… my Lady in Waiting?”  Rebekka barely asked, aware that the queen’s palms grazed the scrumptious swell of each bicep.

“I’ll be whatever you wish for, my lady.” Mawiyah murmured, noticing how her palm could barely cover the vast outline of the developed bicep.

“Oooooh yes.” Moaned Rebekka, luxuriating in how attentive Mawiyah’s hands fluttered over her chiseled arms. 

If she only knew how many men these arms had killed, strangled, and mutilated.  How ironic it was that her body was slowly becoming an object of worship and supplication rather than for bloodshed.  As if a spell was cast over her, Mawiyah nestled deeper into Rebekka’s gallant embrace, longingly tracing the angled striations of rich sweet muscle.  She was as if a child… amazed, baffled, taken… this was honestly just so beautiful.  Rebekka just wasn’t another conquest for Mawiyah to bed… this was a hero, a magnificent champion of the Gods… a woman made by the hands of the Gods to impose a new order of what grandeur and beauty in a woman should be.

The look on the queen’s face was perplexed… she looked at each fiber of muscle…

“How did she become this big?”

“Why does each and every muscle demand to be bathed in my saliva?”

“How could I ever be so drawn to such magnificence?”

“My God, her arms are four times the size of mine.”

It was all Mawiyah could do from sinking her teeth into the thick slice of her arm… Rebekka’s body had awoken the fierce savage inside… the untamed beast of primitive sexuality… the undying quest to possess Rebekka, and invade every known and unknown niche on her gorgeous body.  Mawiyah’s breath became shallow, slightly gnawing her front teeth…  Rebekka glanced to see Mawiyah practically salivating at her arm, like a beast about to eat its prey.  Mawiyah’s misty eyes glanced back at Rebekka, and her will was clearly known.

“I want you.” Hissed Mawiyah.

“Yeah?” replied Rebekka, tempting her queen.

Nodding yes as she swallowed, Mawiyah sank her fingernails into those inflexible arms.  “I wanted you the moment I first heard about you.”

Rebekka loved this… not only was holding Mawiyah sexy and right, but actually hearing her say why she wanted her was mind blowing.

“Why?” begged Rebekka, enfolding Mawiyah’s body with her large monolithic arms.  “Tell me why you want to make love to me.”   

Mawiyah sighed in daunting reverence, vexing to embody her splintering desire with words.  No other woman had ever asked such a thing… then again, Rebekka was just no other ordinary woman. 

“I want to know what it’s like to fondle power… be consumed by it…” she gasped.  “Everything I’ve always wanted in a woman.  I’ve prayed my entire life for a woman like you.”

“I could kill you where you stand.” Replied Rebekka, thumbing and stroking the small of Mawiyah’s back. 

“Then I’d die a happy woman.” Snarled the queen, leaning in for a zestful kiss.

Rebekka held her back as their lips trembled ever so close… Mawiyah groaned in sheer ecstasy as Rebekka’s hot breath cascaded over her face.

“How could I kill such a perfect woman?” implored Rebekka, twisting Mawiyah around as she ripped the flimsy fabric from her full-bosomed chest. 

Mawiyah flung her had back in bliss, giving her enemy an unclouded view of her large, motherly breasts.  Bringing her right arm about, Rebekka fanned out her massive hand, smothering Mawiyah’s bare neck with her abrasive palm.  Holding Mawiyah with her left arm, the queen leaned as far back as she could, basking in Rebekka’s gloriously slow journey down her chest.  For Rebekka, it was as if touching sacred ground… her luscious tan skin was so soft, so delicate to the touch.  Gazing in open mouthed wonder, Rebekka sat in a blinding daze of lust and need, transfixed by the luscious vista of two of the most lucid and heavy breasts her eyes had ever seen.  Inborn intuition swept over her, lunging for Mawiyah’s left breast… with a vigor she never knew she had, Rebekka filled her mouth with the queen’s teeming, ripened breast.  Mawiyah gasped, as if stabbed by Rebekka’s sword…  shocking… unbelievable… beautiful.

Cradling Rebekka’s face to her bosom, Mawiyah groaned in a throaty cry of hypnotizing lechery.  Finally… at long last Mawiyah was arm in arm with this beautiful savage, suckling from her breast.  A flurry of erotic musings flooded the queen’s mind… she loved how effortlessly Rebekka held her, how eager she was inhaling her healthy breast… the pure strength of her suckling… her tongue smothered itself atop the nipple, slowly lapping it up… back down… crosswise… each roll of the tongue electrified the Queen’s flesh.  Looking down, she saw Rebekka’s cheeks caved in, trying to get as much of her bosom inside her famished mouth.  Mawiyah buckled, enthralled by the staggering incident.

Every finger of the queen’s raked through Rebekka’s hair, instinctively encouraging Rebekka’s feeding.  The next step was clear…

Mawiyah motioned for Rebekka to stop.  Rebekka’s mouth popped as she freed the moistened breast.  Just as she tried to regain her stance, Mawiyah furiously untied the leather straps that held the armor to Rebekka’s chest… she really wanted to see her chest… 

[Mimi]

[font=Times New Roman]~Mimi[/size”>

[stmercy2020]

<squee…squeee>  There.  That gets most of the steam off my glasses and computer screen.  ;D

Been awhile since I revisited this thread.  I like the additions, obviously.  Can't wait to see where this goes next…

[Mimi]

[font=Times New Roman]~Mimi[/size”>

[Reason]

You know sometimes I wish I was a lesbian… ;D

Bad sitcom quotes aside, this is shaping up to be a truly, great story. Your descriptions are so rich and textured that it's easy to get lost in them. I don't suppose you're going to cover any of Rebekka's violent exploits on the battle-field are you? I understand that it's probably not what you are into, but for me it would enhance the eroticism if we found out what she is truly capable of.

[Mimi]

[font=Times New Roman]~Mimi[/size”>

[Author]

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