[crazyfck]

I wrote a month ago on a giantess magic forum 'Ten Worst Things to do During a GTS Outbreak'

and now I present to you:

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TOP 10 MISTAKES OF A MAN WITH FMG POTIONS
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1) Never let her know

        If you are studding molecular biochemistry and radiation mutations, and find a nobel prize compound that makes stronger female rats in the lab, never tell it to a woman, I mean never.  Even your mother, and above all, your wife. Girlfriends tend to be more flexible, but we can’t say that about your sister. I will talk about problems with sisters later. Back to the point, women will say to you: ‘just an inch’ or ‘just a cup’ or ‘just a little bit more stronger’. Don’t buy it, cause in the moment they become stronger than you, and this isn’t any hard, they wont ask anymore, they’ll just take it. If you successfully said ‘no’ before that, they will try to seduce you, using your own desires against you, no man is known to escape from that. If you want to survive, follow this rule: never tell a woman about a FMG potion.

2) Letting the nobel-prize FMG potion over the kitchen table

        Strangely this silly mistake occurs on sunny days, where people are exercising themselves and are real thirst. Remember: most FMG potions taste like soda and looks like soda; even if it is not cold, someone can drink the entire glass without asking. Normally brats are known for this behavior –that noisy little girl that resented your lack of attention all her life. 

3) Trusting in the love of a woman

        You know what they say if someone in your family is turned in to a zumbie? Never put it in the basement. FMG potions works likewise, it affects the female mind in ways that even they thought possible.  Some have deliriums of grandiloquence because of a more capable mind, or just because of the sudden strength. When a woman became more than she ever dreamed to be, you can became an obstacle: an annoyance that remembers her old life and despised habits. Everything that came before the FMG potion must be erased or be bended to her; if you love her and want to keep the relationship, be prepared to be a comical sidekick. She still loves you? You ask yourself; probably yes, but in a little, tiny, twinkling yes.

4) Having a sister
     
        Most men in a FMG situation are already in jeopardy just because they have a sister. Can be an older sister, a little one, step-sister… sisters are dangerous. They are our equal in the bizarro world. If you are the geek, she’s the athlete; if you are the smart one, she’s the dumb one. And all sisters have a fascination in overpowering their brothers, to not to say the entire family. If in the process she turns out to be a goddess of any kind, she surely will keep doing childish things with you. She can move or even destroy the entire planet, but she will still be there laughing at you with stupid jokes showing up her tongue just because she can do it and you don’t.

5) Calling the cops

        I know, I know. You gave it to her, now you regret. One of the things you cannot do is to call 911. If you think that you messed it up, be very prepared for worse. First, a FMG potion not only gives strength, gives a hyper acute perception too. If you miraculously managed to dial 911 without her knowing, use the police to escape from her, don’t ever stay with them, you are not safe with them.  Every situation that involves an fmg potion and cops is a bloodbath, not a funny thing to look at. The lazy cops even have time to think, is all too fast for them. Their life is in her hands as yours; if the girl is in a power crazy fever, try fast to calm her down some way, give her something huge to destroy, like an old bridge, but do not call the cops.

6) Your name is Mark

        Change your name to James, Charles, or Lawrence, if you keep that name, you cant say that you was not warned. The usual fates of Marks are to be in claustrophobic upside-down universe where every girl that they know is growing breasts, muscles, size and strength by leaps and bounds with revenge in mind. Normally is a helpless situation, you can only sit and wonder if he will survive.  Marks are known for having relationships with their ex-girlfriends, mostly because they have frigid wives; so one resents for not be loved, and the other one for not have sex. Both will force the Marks to their terms in the same time as the FMG potion kicks in, pulling him apart. Marks are also known for having little sisters that have a fearful psychobitch profile waiting for a FMG opportunity to bloom.
 

7) Drinking the FMG potion

        FMG stands for Female Muscle Growth, it is meant for females only. Don’t drink it. The effects on males are quite the opposite. That’s always stupid, ok? Good.

8) Breaking a relationship because she is stronger than you

        This is the most complex mistake. Is not easy being the weak one; and women always want to prove that point to you. Before, you thought that was fun to toss her around in the bed; at some moments she can like it, but over time it creates a problem for her needs. Now that things are inversed and she tosses you around the bed, she will not give a damn about your needs. And the stronger she gets, more addicted to her sex you became, pushing your needs level out of orbit; and she will use this invisible torture for her own pleasure, even hurting you sometimes. And you say ‘no, that’s enough, I’m want a BREAK’. Well my friend, some girls can handle it, but most of them will put the house down. You already saw normal girls in a path of destruction, throwing things out of the window, screaming out loud because of their boyfriends. Here is the same thing, but is the piano flying out of the window, and your bones are in danger. Try to talk first, say that you have needs too, most women will certainly comprehend and she will do every effort to please you (for at least for two weeks).

9) Saving the formula

        The greater risk of keeping the formula is not her making more of it, is that it can be enhanced. You created the formula with your above average intellect and a little luck, but she can make a quantum leap because, first, she was already smarter than you to begin with; second, her brain capacities are expanded due to the FMG potion radiation; third, she really, really, really, really wants it; and fourth, only she knows the formula infinite capabilities. If do not want another goddess wrecking with the world, delete the formula. Procedures: format the hard drive, burn the hard drive at 5000K temperature, throw the ashes in the all seven seas. If you saved on gmail, prepare an assault and put the whole google complex down. Try to not kill anyone, but is your mission to save the world.

10) Saying that she is… just a girl

        She already showed to you evidences of her strength, the size of her muscles, and yet you were capable to say ‘just a girl’. Don’t let your male pride in the way, remember this: she is waiting for that line. She’ll provoke you to say that; and after that she will make anything to correct your perspective for life. The real problem is that it can become a habit. At first, she laughs at you showing how easily dominated you can be; and with this she’ll discover how fun is to dominate us. Mostly because she knows that our mind struggles with this fact. This can varies with age; for example, if you are both teenagers, she will make your life in school hell, humiliating you in the class, or lifting you with a single arm in front of your buddies. In the mid-twenties she will do it in sports, beating you in the sport that you are best, and even humiliating the entire team. In mid-thirties she will make your workplace a misery, if she is your secretary, is better to find another job. In mid-forties, she will just dump you for two guys of twenty. Well, in any case, to her is more fun when the man cannot accept facts of life, she eventually will put you on a situation to remember you: ‘cause you're just a boy’.     

[Mr. G]

I like your lists. 8)

[alex]

Your name is Mark

LOL yeah!  Things always seem to go wrong when there's a Mark character messing up with FMG potions or artifacts.  😀

[Fett]

😀 😀

[Hunter S Creek]

Great work, crazyfck!

Thank you for sharing it with us!

Tschuss!
Hunter

[Cowprobe]

Well the FMG potion's whole POINT is to enable the female gender to attain superhuman capacities. Pity the poor character that doesn't understand the end result of what they're consciously creating.

Great list crazyfck, thank you for sharing it. Had the image in my mind's eye of David Letterman cranking these out.

Something to cross reference with the FMG cliche thread.  8)

http://amaz0ns.com/option,com_smf/Itemid,135/topic,4797.0/

[KeithXZ]

Thank you  for the laugh crazyfck, that was very funny!

[GTSKate]

AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!  <gasps for breath>  Heh…so very true!  What a great list!  Thanks for the laugh!
;D  😀

-Kate

[stmercy2020]

I love these lists- reminds me of the infamous list of rules to know "when taking my daughter on a date."

lol goodness.

[zapper]

Brilliant!

[Author]

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