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JimmyDimples
ParticipantAwesome pic! ;D
Looking forward to the other three when they come out!
ParticipantWell, if this isn't a sight for sore, tired eyes after my trip. 😀
Full-throttle awesome, DrOtto. Excellent.
Just one thing, though… am I punchy from the lack of sleep (2nd class sleeper trains in China: NOT recommended), or did you incorporate some "Oh My Goddess!" Belldandy in your work on T-chan?
And Buddy, your coloring (especially on take two) takes the cake.
ParticipantActually, I lifted the "potato-potato-potato" description from Harley-Davidson's Quicktime engine sound page.
Interesting trivia bit: they actually tried to copyright/patent the actual SOUND of the engine, but got turned down. They reportedly figured, "ah, well, it's not like anybody's gonna mistake THAT sound for anything other than a Harley." 8)
ParticipantGreat link, FlakBait. Thanks. 🙂 Sent mine… used the full American flag one.
… and I just realized, this is a little thing sponsored by Xerox. Just check out the FAQ.
And hey, if you want to send them a little care package something in meatspace, check this out:
Participanto_O;;;
The cuteness…
…it burns…
…aaaaaaaaaaaAAAGGGH!
*head explodes**hand twitches onto desk… hits button labeled:
KAWAII APOCALYPSE WEAPON
Participantinfoseek.co.jp must be on the People's Republic Internet Eesht List for some reason. 🙁 Thanks for sending it directly to me, Dave. 😉
But is it just me, though, or does T-chan's eyes and hair look a bit more… "Western-ized" by anime standards?
And her thighs definitely look meatier than I usually think I've seen them.
ParticipantBecause if she fell forward there would be one Les shaped pancake. 😮
Smushed to death under a female chest the size of a Ford Focus?
I can think of much worse ways to go. ;D 😛
ParticipantAs she scanned the still but rowdy horde, Tetsuko remembered her karate training: breathe, stay calm, note her environs, and see with all her senses (especially then, since that sea of muscle and breast mass called her body blocked out everything within a yard of her). She wasn't sure if she could still pull off most of the moves as ridiculously bulky and massive as she was just then. Even with her bigger, longer legs covering more ground, she doubted she could kick them as high or move as fast. But since all these thugs were like Oompa-Loompas to her now, she figured she could manage with only foot sweeps, front and low kicks, and the occasional crouching punch. Heck, if they got close enough, she figured she could take out three at once just by falling forward.
She hardened her jaw. She wouldn't have been scared any, or even all of these schmendricks even 3 feet and 3 inches ago. But she worried for her friends, and the officers… okay, and Dr. Green, too. She was pretty much invulnerable, but they weren't. She noted where they all were, hoping she wouldn't step on them by mistake.
Prudently crouched behind his old patrol car, Deputy Darren Horne quietly, urgently radioed the dispatcher for backup. Sheriff Geraldson stood close by the trunk of her interceptor, one hand close by her hip pocket, the other close to one of her Colt .45 self-loads. Dr. Sonya Gannon was discretely, wisely backing up to the factory building. Dr. Green was behind her at five o'clock, silently assessing the situation.
But someone was missing: "Les?"
"Here," he said down by her right side. And his tiny-seeming hand clasped her mammoth one. She instinctively wrapped her fingers and wrist around his head and cradled it reassuringly against her hip. He held on, and Tetsuko felt his grip was more bolstering and solid than seeking comfort and protection.
"Don't worry," he added, "I got your back."
She couldn't help but snicker, but admired his tone.
Down below, Les cheek felt the bigger, wider, formerly blue patch to Tetsuko's boxer briefs, which were now more like a '50s bikini bottom. It's texture was veined like a leaf… and the color was officially plant green. He wondered where he'd seen that pattern and color before.
Finally Deputy Darren stood up and put a hand alonside his mouth. "Hey, y'all!" he yelled as he pointed west-northwest. "Sturgis is 1600 miles THAT way!"
The whole gang stood silently and didn't even snort or scoff. No noise except the "potato-potato-potato-potato" of the cycle engines.
Sheriff Geraldson reached into her interceptor, swiched her radio to the internal PA system, and grabbed the mic. "Be advised," she announced, "you are obstructing traffic and are blocking a fire exit right now. You will have two minutes to move your vehicles."
Nobody moved an inch.
A beat. Deputy Darren focused on the three lunks at front and center. Shorty was looking mighty nervously at the huger, heavier Tetsuko. His mouth widened and narrowed like an out-of-water fish's: "Ah-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-bi-bi-bi-big-bigger!" he stammered.
Lanky stared, agape and aghast. "Gross," he shuddered. "NOBODY has any business being THAT big."
Unflapped, Fatso spat onto the asphalt. "Easier target," he muttered.
"Boys," Darren called out, "the little lady and her buddy and I had a little talk about yesterday." He glanced at said buddy.
Getting the hint, Les snapped up like someone who just remembered his lines. "Uh, yeah," he said. And he put an edge to his voice. "Look, you got a wrecked truck, I got a banged up moped, and unpressed charges against you three for assault, vehicle theft, and reckless endangerment of myself and a bunch of others on Highway 106 yesterday. What say we just drop it all."
They still didn't go anywhere. If looks could have killed, Fatso's glare would've ended Les's troubles once and for all. "What say I drop YOU, Planetqueer," he grumbled.
"That threat's petty assault right there," the Sheriff barked.
"Wait, wait, wait," Sonya said, who had eased back forward. She pulled out her checkbook. "How much was the truck? I think I can pay–"
"Fraggin' straight," Clyde snarled, "only money ain't good enough! We're takin' it outta your carcasses!"
"Oh, ease up, Clyde, I dunno," Lanky said with a nasty grin. "I think Dr. Dolly Parton here might have something on her that's worth a truck." He giggled seedily, as the others guffawed loudly. "Or rhymes with 'truck,' anyway!" And he strode her way.
THOOM! Tetsuko slammed a foot down, and sent a mild shockwave which made friend and foe step back, if not hop up.
"THAT'S CLOSE ENOUGH, CREEPS!" she roared. And she tensed, making all her blood vessels pop up to turn her skin into a highway map. "Leave the white-coats and badges alone!" Her voice got a shade quieter but no less dangerous. "You gotta beef, you see ME!"That made eight back-row bikers' bowels release. They quickly straddled their rides, pulled a 180, and fled the neighborhood. But before Tetsuko could chuckle at that…
Shak-shak KABLAM! What felt like a bunch of marbles smacked her clear in the forehead, eyes, and cheekbones. Metal marbles. KABLAM! Another sack's worth of marbles hit her barrel biceps, and her bean-bag-chair right breast. And she heard the cycle engines rev up.
Buckshot! she thought. Those corn-holers actually SHOT me!
"Get back!" Dr. Green shouted. "Inside!"
"Dispatch!" Deputy Darren yelled into his radio. "Mayday, mayday, 10-35! Shots fired! Bikers closing in on Perwoltz factory, need backup, STAT!" And he quick-drew his service revolver.
And as the doctors and Les beat feet into the factory, and the law's pistols popped their staccatto shots, Tetsuko blinked lead pellets out of her eye. A smaller putt-putt bike zipped past and thwack! She felt a wood plank with a nail swat and shatter against her thigh. Kpunk! Another hit-and-runner mangled his metal basebat against her kneecap. Then she saw three more bikes bear down on her.
At the last moment, she swung her massive leg around in a foot sweep and slammed it squarely against one bike's side, and sent it and the rider careening into his other two oncoming buddies. With shocked yelps, they and their bikes toppled like the ones outside the Satan's Helpers bar in Pee-wee's Big Adventure.
***
Crouching behind her interceptor for cover, Sheriff Geraldson thrust one emptied .45 back in her holster. "Horne!" she shouted. "Any backup coming?!"
Deputy Darren ducked a flung brick. "All deputies on patrol screaming over, town prowler each from Dawson and Dogwood, and two State Troopers off the interstate! Paddy wagon from Reynolds City, too! But it'll be a few minutes before they all get here!"
"Great," the sheriff muttered, as a thug's pistol ricocheted off the back bumper. She holstered the other pistol and pulled out her car's key chain. "Just great. Fetching Fanny Marcy. Cover for me." And tapping a button, she popped open the interceptor's trunk, ready to get the FN self-load Mark I shotgun in it.
She never got it. Just after the trunk's hatch swung all the way open, a flaming bottle spun end over end in an arc and smacked neatly and squarely against the Camaro's gas tank with a tinkling crack. KAWHOOM! "Aaaaaigh!" The back end of the interceptor reared up and crashed down again with a big orange and black fireball. Tetsuko's heart plummeted clear down to her colon as the blast catapulted the screaming sheriff into a clear area.
"SHERIFF!" shrieked the deputy as his superior crashed onto the concrete. And as if the pyromaniac wasn't postitive he'd hurt her enough, he wrenched the throttle, zoomed in on her and ran over her left leg and arm in passing. "Sweet Mother Mary! Dispatch, officer down! Ambulance down here, STAT!" And just as Darren leveled his pistol to go for a head shot on that punk…
Ch-shunk-screech! Mr. Molotov lurched forward with a sudden tire-burning stop and nearly flew over his handlebars. Righting himself, he looked up… and stared right up into Tetsuko's severe face. She was hunched over, holding the motorcycle by the front wheel fork.
"Sooooo," she said, "like to launch stuff in the air, huh?"
And she then picked up the bike by the front end, rider and all, and giant-swung it around and around, low, then up to her waist, and then up to her blimped chest. The firebomber got flung off, and he smashed against the side of an abandoned truck trailer. At the last swing, Tetsuko let go, and sent the two-wheeler flying to smash into the old bus she'd tossed up earlier.
Crack-tinkle-fwoof! She felt a glass bottle shatter against her back and hair, which then got very, VERY hot. And she smelled burning gasoline!
"Agh!" she yelped. Another firebug? Then she felt steel things smack against her thighs and hips. Without even looking down (her bulk blocked the view anyway) she stooped down, stuck her arms out, swung them closed like a steel trap, and stood up with with her catch: Lanky and two other thugs, each with a ruined crowbar, machete, or axe. They stared at her face with highly mixed feelings, mostly ill.
"Hey, boys," she said. "Know what to do if your body catches fire? Stop, drop, and roll!"
And bear hugging the lot as painfully tightly as she could without killing or crippling them, she flopped down on them, let her bulk flatten them, and rolled quickly, bearing down her weight on them as they hit the concrete. Soon she'd smothered the flames, and the three goons. They'd survived, though if they enjoyed her chest smooshing them, they sure didn't look it. Not even Lanky. Satisfied, she scrambled back up, and felt her back. The skin felt a bit tender from the flames, but nothing serious. It was probably the bright warm sun on it anyway.
Brap-brap-braaaaaap! She heard bike engines and — fwoosh! Something else went up in flames off to her right. To her dread she saw it was Dr. Green's SUV. And behind it, to her alarm, she saw more bikers and a pickup truck head on into the factory through a bay door.
And to her rage, she saw Fatso and Shorty, and the pesticide sprayer hop out of the truck's bed once it was in.
She began to dash over… and she stopped and staggered.
And to her dismay, she felt her insides slosh, surge, squirt and squirm again.
***
Sonya dashed down the warehouse aisle as two cackling bikers chased her, twirling chains around. She spotted Dr. Green's arm wave her toward a corridor of stacked boxes. She knew it was a dead end, but finally chose to trust the doctor. The motorcycles' noise grew louder and closer and she fled down the cardboard canyon… and barely kept her feet as she stumbled across an electric cord. The goons snickered as they cruised toward their target…
And they jerked back off the bikes as the hidden doctor and Les pulled back on the cord and snapped it up to neck level, clotheslining them and making their bikes flop on their sides with a loud crash. And Dr. Green and his intern quickly swung some shoes into the downed bikers' faces. The thugs lay perfectly still.
Les shuddered as he stared down. "Do you think we've killed them?" he squeaked.
Dr. Green snorted. "They can make an appointment with Dr. Gannon later."
"Not taking any new patients," she quipped. And all three of them dashed toward the nursery.
Then they heard the fssh fssh fssh fssh fssh of something being sprayed. With Dr. Green putting a finger to his lips, they tiptoed toward it. It was the guy with the pesticide sprayer, coating the plants.
Dr. Green sniffed. Then his face made a horrified grimace. "That's not bug killer," he whispered. "That's petrol!"
Just then, he felt a steel chain wrap around his throat and yank him back painfully. Les did too. Turned out they didn't knock out the riders after all.
"Gotcha!" growled Fatso, as he wrapped his flabby arms around Sonya from behind.
"Let go, ya big ape!" Sonya shouted.
"Nuh uh." And he turned her around to approaching footsteps.
It was Clyde. He stepped right up to Les, whose captor wrenched the poor intern's face down to the short guy's level.
"Not so tough without your gorilla girlfriend, are ya, boy?" Clyde sneered. Les just glared at him silently. "Whatsamatter, boy? Too scared to talk?" Clyde goaded.
Les just curled his lips in a smirk. Paf! Clyde slugged Les in the stomach, making him grunt.
"Makes noise," Fatso said. "It's a start."
"Whyncha call for your she-male, boy?" Clyde goaded. Bap! went his fist across Les' jaw. "Or maybe Captain Planet?" Whap! went his backhand. "C'mon, what is it they say? 'Let our powers combine'?"
Les snickered. "You WOULD be stupid enough to find that watchable."
"Hey, I'm not the one gettin' the crap kicked outta me." Thupp! Clyde sent a knee up Les' crotch, making him grunt and groan through clenched teeth. "Aw, shut up. I didn't hit anything you ever needed."
"STOP IT!" Dr. Green shouted. "You little emasculated ba-glrk!" His curse cut off by getting his neck clamped down over his choking chain.
"Look," Sonya offered again. "How much to make this all go away?"
"Yeah, right," Fatso groused. "We cash your check, and the cops grab us at the bank. We ain't THAT dumb, Jumbo Jugs."
"Oh, I dunno," Clyde leered at Sonya. He pulled out a switchblade and clicked it open. "I think maybe Hank had the right idea earlier." And he slid over to her, and snipped off a button on her blouse.
"Get away from her, you little cockroach," Dr. Green grunted through his squashed windpipe, "Or I swear I'll–"
"Or you'll breathe through your jugular vein, Cadbury."
"That's DOCTOR Cadbury to you, ya greasy midget." Les sniped.
Clyde wheeled toward him. "Wrong answer." And he marched toward him with the knife aimed at him.
"NO!" Sonya shrieked.
Clyde didn't look back. "Jugs, you strip. Or they drip." He put the blade against Les' neck. "And I don't mean Kool-Aid."
FOOMKRASH! And just like the 1970s Kool-Aid Man, Tetsuko blasted through the warehouse wall. She was ten feet and eight inches tall, and about six feet wide. And from what everyone could guess, four feet thick.
She stared down at all the little people. "Oh yeah," she rumbled.
Clyde stared. "Oh no," he squeaked.
Atop that massive body, her head seemed tiny. The eyes shone fiercely at the two lead goons. She spoke lowly and deliberately. "Leave. My. Friends. Alone." And she lumbered forward slowly.
"Back away, Queen Kong," Fatso warned, fear tainting his voice. "Or we slice and dice'em. And our buddies–"
"–saw me grow," Tetsuko interupted, still marching closer. "And the ones still standing ran away."
Just then someone by the plants whistled. Everybody turned to see who it was.
It was the sprayer guy. And he had a box of matches. And he struck and lit one. "Get the marshmallows," he said simply.
He flicked it at a shrub and darted off. FWOOMP! The whole greenhouse quickly ignited into a blazing inferno.
"NO!" screamed Dr. Green. "You little whoreson!"
Tetsuko still trudged forward, not fearing the flames. Dr. Green's captor panicked, simply let go, and darted out the exit for his life. Les' more sadistic holder kicked his feet out from under, slammed him to the floor, and sprinted off himself.
Tetsuko didn't pay them any attention as they gave her a wide berth and fled.
"Les, Dr. Green, Sonya," she said. "Leave."
Fatso finally released Tetsuko's friend and started to run. Clyde made a break for it, too. But the former was too overweight and slow, and the latter didn't thaw out of his fear in time. Tetsuko's massive, long arm caught Fatso easily, and her other free hand grabbed Clyde by the neck. She hoisted each of them up and forward, and bore down on the incinerating greenery.
"What?! Let us go!" shouted Fatso! "You can't be serious! You can go burn yourself if you wanna!"
But they were going the same place as their love lives: nowhere. Tetsuko marched on to the blazing greenhouse. And just as she reached it, a bell rang, and then: Goosh! The sprinkler system drenched the whole works, and drowned out the flames.
And Fatso, Clyde, and Tetsuko got soaked.
Down by her feet, she felt her toe brush against something… or rather, someone. "Tetsuko?"
And she stooped down. She couldnt see him, but hear him. "Les?!" And she put Clyde in her other arm's hand and locked him down, while she felt for her friend with her free one. And his tiny little fingers felt her leg as he staggered to standing. But now she could tell he was only a few inches taller than her inseam. Her arm wrapped around him and she lifted him up, and held him under her arm to her side like an infant. She got a good look at him and his injuries. "Les!" she cried. "Your face!"
She then turned to Clyde and Fatso, and their expressions told her everything. "You…!"
And the water kept cascading all over them. They heard something. Down below them. A gurgling right below their feet, and deep within the monstrous maiden's body.
"You guys are beyond belief," Tetsuko growled. And she began not just to grow again, but to bloat. "You guys just push others around, bash them and their stuff and why?!" She expanded, distended, ballooned. Her belly rounded and pushed out like a professional weightlifter's under her zepplin breasts. She began to resemble a ball more than a babe. "Just because they're different? Just because he's not a gas burning slob like you?!" Wider and wider. Stouter and stouter. More muscular and more muscular. And taller and taller, until she became an official giantess at 11 feet and 8 inches. "Just because you're bigger and stronger than him?! And you feel like it?!"
She grabbed Fatso by the neck and drew them both close to her face, until they were almost nose to nose.
"Well," she hissed, "Maybe I feel like squeezing your necks until what little brains you have pop out of your skulls like zits."
Her hands clamped down on their necks. Their faces turned pink. Then red. Les, seeing what she was doing, gasped in horror. "Tetsuko!" he squealed. "Tetsuko, that's enough!" She kept it up. Clyde and Fatso wriggled uselessly, trying to break out of there. And breathe. They couldn't do either. "Tetsuko, don't do this!" Les squeaked shrilly. Nothing doing. Their faces darkened even more.
Then finally he twisted under her massive arm towards her and the smothering mountainous billow of her breast, wriggled closer up into her armpit, shoved his face toward hers and screamed at the top of his lungs: "TETSUKO, STOP! You're not a murderer!"
She turned toward him. "Pipe down, you twerp!" she snapped. "You don't know how much grief… I've been… through… today?"
She was shocked. Astounded. Here he was, his face all bruised, bashed, and swollen, and he was shrieking at her like SHE was the thug.
"I'm sorry!" went the voice in her left fist. "I said, I'm SORRY! I mean it! I'm fraggin' mother-humpin' sorry! Just let me go! I swear I'll never bother him, or anyone else here again!"
"Yeah," croaked the other voice weakly. "What he said."
She looked back at the two faces atop her fists, all reddened so much by her crushing they were almost Violet Beauregarde purple.
They were goons. Thugs. They tried to torch the whole lab, kill Les, and do heaven knew what to Dr. Green and her friend Sonya. And there was broken Sheriff outside, whom she didn't know whether or not was still alive. These subhumans probably didn't deserve to make in one piece to their execution, let alone their day in court.
But deep within that gargantuan, elephant-sized body, her little heart knew this was all wrong.
And very reluctantly, her hands slackened, loosened, and let the two goons fall to the floor. Fatso and Clyde then scampered out the hole in the wall she'd made, toward the multiple loudening sirens. "We surrender!" Fatso screamed. "We give up! Lock us up! Put us in the car! Just keep us away from that… that thing!"
She looked right into the eyes at Les in her arms. Her lip quivered. And she started to cry.
"It's all right," Les said. And he draped his arms around her neck and patted it. "It's all right," he repeated softly.
She wrapped her colossal arms around him, pulled him close and deep into her chest, as if she were to absorb his body into hers, and pressed his face and chest to her own tear-moistened cheek and hair. "Why?" she sobbed. "Why must you be so stinking sweet all the time?! And let people jerk you around?!"
"It's all right–"
"No, it's not! You put up with that Nazi boss of yours! You're defending the guys that tried to MURDER you for Kami's sake!" She held his head up so her watery eyes locked onto his. Their noses almost touched. "Do you know how much it hurts to see you be such a doormat? To see you fight for everyone else but yourself?" she croaked.
"Tetsuko…" Les trailed off. He didn't know what to say.
Then she felt a quick sting in her chest. Then it got worse. Then it got to be a sharp steady pain all through her chest, and streaking up and down her left arm. It twitched. Then her whole body shuddered.
Les stared at her with alarm and concern. "Tetsuko?"
She stared at him. "It… hurts…."
And toppling to her left, she collapsed and they crashed onto the concrete floor.
To Be Concluded…ParticipantBravissimo, Necro, and keep up the good work! It shows! ;D
ParticipantUh… muscle82002, I'm probably the biggest Weird Al fan in the whole forum, so please don't take this the wrong way…
… but you did know that most of these videos ARE available on "Weird Al's Ultimate Video Collection" DVD, which is on sale at the Music Depot part of his merchandise page, right? ^_^;;
But the fan videos of "You're Pitiful" and "Germs" you supplied …
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqSKqS91UdA&mode=related&search=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgfpJWUYgbg&mode=related&search=…are nice and legal, though. Fun stuff, too.
Thanks. 🙂 -
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