[JimmyDimples]

Ooooh! 🙂  I'm gonna have to mooch that quip for the story!  With your permission and an in-joke, of course. 😉

[JimmyDimples]

Hmm… at first I thought that the characters would have mixed emotions, but I couldn't tell what they were… I can't see their faces.

I think that may be one of the problems… I got no idea what their expression is.  From my glance they look, mysterious, sinister, or mean, but not being able to see the mouth probably puts me off.

Of course, that's just one critic's opinion. 

[JimmyDimples]

Hey, Green Jelly kicks butt!  At least it's not the song "Have a Peanut Butter Sandwich." 😛

Minor suggestion, WeirdWolf?  I'd have made the green-jacketed pig's eyes have smaller pupils to properly show the panic.

Aside from that, great little strip.  🙂

[JimmyDimples]

The recycled plastic kitchen chair bent a little under Tetsuko's bulk, but held up nicely.  Staring down at her plate, she found that chewing Dr. Green's vegan lasanga presented something that'd been quite rare for her lately:  an effort.  The "beef" had decent flavor but too much "bounce" in it.  It felt like she was chewing a boiled, chopped art eraser.  She decided to give the salad a try instead.

"And as you can see, and taste," Dr. Green beamed proudly, "all these spices truly bring out the flavor in the meal.  Always have, always will.  Doesn't matter if the protein vehicle is tofu, or tempeh, or animal flesh or milk." 

Very good for him and the earth, thought Sonya, but why can't the guy just say "meat"?  Nibbling on dinner, she thought it tasted okay, but soy cheese didn't hold a candle to some real mozzarella.

"And!" he continued, "The beauty of it is that all this food has all the original nutrients and carbohydrates in it, totally untouched or processed by any animals' digestive systems.  We're getting it straight from the original source." He leaned forward and jabbed the air with his fork on each main word.  "Think about it!  If everyone switched to eating vegan, all that land that's wasted raising cattle could be producing grain or vegetables instead!"

Spotting Les nodding his head along with Dr. Green's spiel, Tetsuko could tell he'd heard this speech many times before, and could probably recite it perfectly with each word and inflection.  "What about milk?" she asked. "That's got a lot of calcium and other important stuff.  Nature's perfect food."

Dr. Green shook his head.  "Too much fat and growth hormone. No offense."  He missed Les' cringe on that.  "And I take a leafy green/legume supplement for calcium."  He put down his fork on his plate.  "But, it'd be even better on this poor, worn, weary planet if we didn't have to plow up the land for farms."  He folded his arms proudly.  "And I've found the answer that'll finally end world hunger once and for all.  Les! Go fetch the Mito-Chloroplast Culture!  Sample A."

"Yes, si–"

"DOC-tor."

"Yes, doctor." And Les got up and exited the dining room. 

And Dr. Green called out after him, "And while you're at it, how about bringing out some coffee and tea for our guests?"

Sonya blinked.  "Hey… wasn't he limping just now?"

Dr. Green huffed and waved his hand dismissively.  "Accident from being a clod on the electro-ped.  Nothing serious or I'd have treated it."

A few minutes later, Les reappeared holding a beaker. 

"So, Tetsuko, right?" Dr. Green asked. "You know how plants make their own food with only water and sunlight?"

"And CO2," Tetsuko answered.  "Photosynthesis, yes."

He plucked the beaker from Les' hands.  "Well, this is a serum with enzymes, DNA binding agents and sugar-making chloroplasts from plants.  In layman's terms, this installs and locks the chloroplasts to human mitochondria — those are the things that generate nutrition into energy."

Tetsuko rode out the condesending tone.  "Yes, I got that from high school biology." 

He presented the vial with a flourish.  "Well, dear, this means the human body will then be able to make its own sugars just like a plant!  All it needs is water, sunlight, and carbon diox–" He stopped and stared at the label.  Then he turned to Les and thrust the beaker back. "I said Sample A, not K!"

"Sorry, s– doctor."  And Les meekly exited the room.

"And bring the coffee and tea this time!  Dr. Green turned back to Tetsuko.  "Anyhow, dear, we've tested this on different animals back in NC State University, and so far it's been successful.  Dr. Gannon's told me about your time with her own anti-aging formula, and how it's accelerated your metabolism and demand for nutrition.  I'm willing to let you be the first human subject to try this formula out, with your permission and Dr. Gannon's."

Tetsuko's eyebrows shot up.  "Me?!"

"Yes!  Just think!  Just drink water!  No more high grocery bills!  No more being hungry!  No more worries on artificial ingredients, pesticides, irradiation, hormones, unwanted additives, spoilage, or package tampering! And you'll be the vanguard of–"

"– ecological Armageddon," Sonya interrupted.

Dr. Green turned to his colleague.  "Beg pardon?"

Sonya folded her hands.  "Would she breathe only CO2?"

"Well… mostly, yes.  She'll need oxygen for a few processes, but only a fraction of that for a normal human."

"And exhale oxygen mostly."

"Er… yes."

She shook her head.  "Look, never mind I'm still figuring out how MY serum affected her, and another one would murk things up.  If you plan on giving that formula to the whole world, there'll be a lot less CO2 in the atmosphere, which the plants need to breathe themselves."

Tetsuko then nodded.  "And with us fighting the plant kingdom for it, the plants would soon die off." 

Dr. Green's forehead wrinkled.  "B-b-but the animals," he countered.  "They'd exhale and–"

"It wouldn't be enough.  Besides, no plants, the food chain's broken at the first link.  The animals would die.  Then WE'D all die."  She shrugged sympathetically.  "Sorry, Eaton, wonderful idea, but that's nature."

The disillusioned botanist stared at Sonya like she'd just swung a 2-by-4 against his skull.  Then glared at his guest.  "Well, what about YOUR formula, Dr. Gannon?  There's a bunch of stuff on IT I'd like to tell you about!"

"Now, hold on–"

"Had you ever stopped to think how large the global population is?  6.4 billion people.  And it's ballooning vastly as is, with normal lifespans.  If EVERYBODY lived to be 175 or 200, it'd skyrocket even worse with nobody dying off!"  He stood up, with hands planted on the table.  "7 or 8 generations worth!"

"Eaton–"

"All vying for living space, food, drinking water, AND electric power for a comfortable lifestyle! And never mind the pollution from it all!  The wars for resources would make the Iraq occupation look like a school yard fistfight!  It'd be a REAL Armageddon!"

"Please calm dow–"

"And that's normal-sized people!  If they all were as big and heavy and hungry as…" Dr. Green thrust his finger out at Tetsuko. "…as her–!"

Sonya sprang up from her seat.  "Now you leave her out of this!" she snapped.

"Seriously, what were you thinking when you injected her with it?"

Now it was Dr. Gannon's turn to fume.  "I was thinking I didn't want Slade's goons to blast us!"

Les stepped in with a tray. "Uh, folks, coffee and tea's ready."

"Not now!" Dr. Green snarled.

Les looked back and forth timidly.  "Uh, shall I take it back then, Doctor?"

"That's SIR to you!"  Then he twitched at his own malaprop.  "Yes, yes, whatever!" he thundered, waving him off without a look.

"Maybe you should help Les and clear our places right now, Tet-chan," Sonya muttered icily.  "I've lost my appetite."

Tetsuko glanced at her boss and friend, wanting to back her up in this verbal smackdown.  Sonya glanced back and bobbed her head toward the kitchen with an "it's MY fight" look.  So the ample assistant gathered up the plates and utensils, and left the two doctors to rage over which one of them would first wipe out the human race before the 22nd century.

***

To Be Continued

[JimmyDimples]

Great to see art from someone who doesn't let fantasy get in the way of his harsh reality. ;-P

Simple, yet funny.  Good jorb. ^_^ d

[JimmyDimples]

Nice smiles.  And the rest of 'em ain't exactly causing eye strain, either. 😉

[JimmyDimples]

As they say, the first step of the solution is admitting you have a problem.

Glad to see you're taking care of business, and turning around and getting your priorities straight.  More power to ya, and I hope and pray that you get everything mended.

[JimmyDimples]

Thanks very much.  I'll go ahead and start salvaging what needs to be.

[JimmyDimples]

Dang. 🙁 Old archive was baleeted before I could transfer everything…

Sure, I got stuff saved at my deviantArt site, but still…

[JimmyDimples]

*high tech butter churn scoots around in thread*

"EXTERMINATE!  EXTERMINATE!! EXTERMI—"

*SMASH!  Big female fist pounds it into a manhole cover*

(sorry, couldn't resist  :lol:)

[Author]

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