[JimmyDimples]

Mateys,

Just a note to reassure you I haven't fallen over the World's End.  I've been saving my 1000th post for a big story worthy of becoming a Site Superhero.  Lingster must've deleted a thread that had a post of mine in it, lowering the post total to 998.  So in that windfall, here's a little something to whet your appetite in the meantime.  Enjoy!

JD

As they dropped like bricks, the pirate captain clasped and hung onto Dyna's shoulders, then turned her body around in midair so he was on top and she was on bottom.  WHANG!  They crashed onto the Karnov's deck, leaving a heroine-shaped crater.  The pirate's black three-cornered hat flew off his head on impact, but using most of her chest to cushion his head, he simply bounced with a grunt.  Not lingering, he staggered up, and headed toward his head-wear.  Dyna craned her neck upward, still quite woozy from the drain. 

He looked her way as he scooped up his hat and plunked it back on his red hair.  "Sincerest apologies, pumpkin blossom," he said, "but you left me a Chinaman's choice."  And he stepped smartly off to where his pistol and cutlass lay.

Reaching up and out, Dyna planted her hands on the steel deck and pushed herself up to sitting position.  She sought her breath and balance and rasped, "This… blossom… doesn't… just… wilt!" 

She reached for the Belt, and turned the buckle one quarter turn.  Time for Level II.  And for a few moments, she felt the warmth come back to her inner being and fill her limbs and head, and push out the drain's fatigue.  And her arm and leg muscles expanded and rounded like balloons and hardened like stone.  And a passing breeze made her hair look like a raised flag, as she grew almost a foot in height, easily breaking seven feet tall.  Gathering her wits, she turned back to the buccaneer where he stooped down toward his blade and blunderbuss. 

Locking eyes with her, he straightened back up, leaving the weapons on the deck.  And narrowing his gaze at her bigger, stronger body, he held up his hand again and spread out his fingers. 

"Your life energy, miss," he said, "It's the purest I've sampled in… well, longer than I'll ever admit."

Seeing this, Dyna realized that her Belt's raw strength was not going to be of any help against him.  She quickly cranked it back down to Level I, and let her body shrink back down to her regular power.  Nodding, the pirate lowered his hand, picked up his pistol and put it back into his belt, grabbed his cutlass with one arcing swoop of his arm, and brought it to the ready.

Then from below in the hold, a swabbie shouted:  "Cap'n!  We found 'em!  WE FOUND 'EM!"

Glancing down that way, the captain's eyes darted back at Dyna for only an instant.  Then he then turned on his heels and dashed down the stairs toward his crew. 

Dyna started after him… then got a better idea.  She flew toward the bow and found the hatch to the hold in midpoint.  Grabbing it, she ripped it off, cast it aside, and dived feet first into the cargo area, planning to head the swabbies and captain off and catch them. 

But she was the one caught by surprise.

Down below, Dyna saw many coffin-sized, coffin-shaped containers.  The pirates pried them open.  And in each one, there was a lovely young woman.  Mostly European, some Asians, all female and not one appearing a day over 29 years old.  They lolled around blearily, as if coming out of anesthesia. 

"So," the captain said, from below, "now do you see who the real scurvy pigs are?"

Dyna glared at him.  "Oh?  And what were YOU going to do with them?"

The captain simply extended a hand toward the biggest knot of his mates. 

"Medic!," one yelled.  "Need some smelling salts!"

"Easy there, missy, we're getting ya outta here!"

"Ay, Drachen!  Your Russian's better than mine! Tell her we're not gonna hurt her!"

Dyna blinked in amazement. And instead of simply tossing the captive women over their shoulders and hauling them off like sacks of potatoes, they were acting more like rescue workers.  One pirate was administering mouth-to-mouth and checking pulses.  Another hefted up one girl to standing, and called another fellow to help when she couldn't.

Then she turned and stared at the pirate captain incredulously.  "All right, who in Athena's name are you guys?"

He folded his arms.  "We are the crew of the Soulfinder.  And you may call me the Spirit Corsair."  He pointed to the coffins.  "The Karnov is owned by the Myesnik family.  Fastest growing Russian mafia to touch the Pacific.  Human trafficking's one of their specialties.  And this ship's bottom-feeder crew have been abducting, conning, and smuggling young ladies for 'brides' and 'entertainment.'"

The Damsel Dynamo grunted.  "I'd heard rumors of this… even saw it in a 'No Secrets' exposé on smuggling… but I'd never dream they'd be so brazen about shipping them like this."

Just then, Dyna heard the sound of an infant crying.  Quickly, she glided over that way, while the captain double-time marched over there.  And a bald, brawny, striped-shirt muscle-man gently lifted a baby not quite 9 months old from a toybox-sized container next to two more coffins.  "The load for Bangkok, cap'n," he said in hushed voice.

"Bangkok?" Dyna repeated.

"Aye," said the Corsair, taking the infant in his arms. "The brothels there pay the best prices, word on the street says.  Especially for 'specialties.'"

Dyna felt queasy again.  "You mean…?"

The Corsair nodded, and glowered harshly. "They ain't gonna wait 16 years for this one.  In fact," he hissed, "she's a flamin' rush order!" And she saw that his free hand had curled into a fist, shaking with a low rage.  The baby started to cry piercingly. "No, no, love, sh-sh," he quickly cooed, "it ain't you I'm angry with." 

Then Dyna spotted a figure sneaking behind the captain. And she heard the shak-shak of an assault rifle chambering its first round in the clip. 

In a flash, she grabbed the pirate captain by the shoulders, spun him and the infant around so her back took the rattling burst of bullets, and leaned forward, pushing them down to the floor, taking special care not to crush the shrieking infant.  And no particular care about the Corsair, whose head bonked loudly on the metal.  And she felt the zinging rounds rake, scrape, and ricochet off her backside. 

The Corsair grunted, and got his wind back.  "Don't want my head on a pole anymore, I take it?"

With lightning speed, she looped up, flipped right-side up in a human Immelmann turn, and went fist-first into the Karnov gunman's face, sending both him and his weapon flying back.  She then pivoted in mid-air and faced the flattened freebooter.

"It's not that.  You're still pirates.  You're just lucky I can't bust you and these slimeballs at the same time.  I'm shutting these guys down first, and once the rescue's over and the girls are safe, I'm taking you down next."

The Corsair nodded grimly.  "We do what we have to."

Pappappappappap!  More autorifle fire clattered.  The Karnov's crew had now leveled AK-47s and quickly hosed the area with lead.  Three Soulfinder pirates got hit and fell like bowling pins. 

The Corsair dove behind a casket, ducking the zinging bullets, his chest arching over the baby.  "You stupid wench!" he shouted at Dyna over the infant's screams.  "You gave them time to rearm!" 

A fleeing kidnap victim stumbled, hit in the leg by the crossfire.  As the pirates scurried for cover, Dyna launched herself at the freighter's felons, torpedoing into two with one flight.  "You could've called the Japan Coast Guard to intercept them!" she shouted back.  "Haven't you heard of anonymous tip hotlines?!" 

"You ever hear of bribes, limited manpower, and the speed of the legal process?" the Corsair sniped back as he braced his pistol and searched for a clear shot. 

Before Dyna could answer back, someone yelled, "Eh, Flying Girl!"

She looked.  It was Captain Vitaly Amanourov.  And he was shouldering an RPG-16 rocket launcher aimed right at her.

"Dosvidanya," he said simply.

"No you bloody DON'T!"  A zealous Soulfinder pirate sprang from behind and slammed his cutlass right between the Captain's head and the launcher.  Weapon swinging awry, the Russian captain fired it involuntarily.  Whoosh! The warhead spiraled off-course…

…squarely under the yellow diamond warning sign on the ship's fuel tank. 

KAWHOOM!  Dyna automatically crossed her arms to shield her face from the blast's force, flames, smoke, and roar.

To Be Concluded…

[JimmyDimples]

And a big fat happy birthday to CDR!  ^_^  You are hearby promoted and upgraded to DVD-R!  ;D

[JimmyDimples]

"The Great"???

😀

Aw, gee… never heard THAT one before… thanks!

And a very merry unbirthday to each and every one of youse guys!  ;D

[JimmyDimples]

Hey guys, forgive the thread necromancy, but it's my birthday today, and I figured this thing could use a bump. 🙂

[JimmyDimples]

Hey… I believe you did these cosplays before somewhere.  Almost a year ago.

I'd asked the question, "What would Tetsuko cosplay as?" and you'd shared this:

http://amaz0ns.com/option,com_smf/Itemid,135/topic,4121.msg35813/#msg35813

[JimmyDimples]

David C. Matthews has just had his 1000th post, all eyes are on him, and deservedly so…

And nobody's posted about THIS yet?
http://dcmatthews.deviantart.com/art/Tetsuko-as-quot-She-Hulk-quot-67607297

*shakes head, tsk-tsks* I'm disappointed in y'all.  :-

[JimmyDimples]

*HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS*

Great to hear from you again, in any event.  I'm sorry about your tough times. 🙁  Will keep you in my prayers.

[JimmyDimples]

Woo hoo, my mang, woo hoo.  ;D  Nice to see you finally made it to Amaz0ns superherodomhoodness. 🙂  And thanks for all that art and contribution.

Don't get lax, though… I'm only a few steps behind you.  😉

[JimmyDimples]

I'm a little disappointed that Bob's Big Boy and the Taco Bell Chihuahua didn't make the cut.  Maybe they're hidden characters or bosses?

And the final bosses at this game…?

I propose Super Size Me's Morgan Spurlock, or the class action lawsuit dork Ceasar Barber. 

[JimmyDimples]

Nice!  Not as massive as Satsurou's, but hey, I like the color combination.  Well done, Refaal!

[Author]

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