[NecrochildK]

Have you tried powerwalking?

Cardio on a bike is cool, too. I wish there were some good trails around here. I haven't ridden in ages.

Well, it's on a stationary bike, so I'm sitting bored looking at a tv or staring out the window daydreaming. Powerwalking I haven't really tried. Though such as for Mardi Gras instead of driving to the fair grounds about a mile off from our apartment, I walked, though I have bad arches, but I wear sandals with good supports, it was still a bit of a strain on my arches and shins and especially my lower back, that by the time I walked back home, well, much soreness. I can take more if I go slower, but I have a problem pacing myself and tend to rush too much, wanting to reach my destination faster. The night before Mardi Gras I made the mistake of not bringing a bottle of water with me and leaving my jacket behind. lol ANd just like the two previous years in a row, I half froze. That Tuesday though, the first time I went out, I remembered something to drink and brought my own blend of tea, usually a green and mint tea mixed with apple and cinnamon or some other fruit tea. The second time I went out that day I brought some ice water and remembered my jacket. Extra pockets for more beads, hehe. Though by then I was so beat, I caught a ride home with some friends, though their car was about half as far as my apartment.

[NecrochildK]

😀

Sweet.

Do you run, also?

Heh, afraid not. I get winded too fast when upright. So I do cardio on a cycle I can lean back on. Might be something internal, I dunno.

[NecrochildK]

You need a workout buddy.

If I lived closer, I'd be your workout buddy….even though I'm a runner and I don't really do any weight lifting…. 😆

lol That would be cool. I have a brother that lives out close to your neck of the woods.

[NecrochildK]

Thanks. I haven't started situps yet, as it grinds on the sensitive spot on my spine, for now James has me doing else to try to build up my abs. Truth is, I haven't worked my traps much, they were close to this to begin with though they have toned up a bit since I've been working out. Too many years of overloading my booksack I guess. Though I always seem to have a lot of tension in them.

[NecrochildK]

I had the chance last night, to talk with my mom in IMs. About the only time I can coherently make my feelings known. Verbally, I'm very… ineloquent, I stumble over words. She may not understand my new desire, but now at least she accepts it and is happy that I've found something to pursue so wholly. I just hope this acceptance lasts as the past has shown she conveniently forgets anything that brings us close together. Either way, it won't stop me. But I still always wish and hope for that part of her love. I don't know whether it's from being adopted or being a touch autistic or something else I'm afraid of getting into here lest I seem a lunatic for believing it… but I've always felt so alien even at home, like I never belonged. Like the cuckoo's egg dropped in a nest of robins, I've been dropped into a world I don't belong in, with my mom always having tried to mold me into the role and appearance of every other robin around me. It became over time, most important to me, not to be that robin she wanted me to be, but to just love me for being as cuckoo as I was, no matter how strange it may have been for her… She wanted a nice, neat little cookie cutter kid and I could never be that… but I still wanted her to be proud of me and happy for me no matter what I was… And honestly, I was a good kid… heck, by todays standards, I was a perfect little angel. Never did drugs, never had sex, always brought home As and Bs until it became such a strain I started breaking down mentally and emotionally under the taunts of my peers for my odd ways and my unwavering, unquestioning devotion to my parents and unwillingness to break rules as they did. Honestly? I guess all I ever wanted was their respect… I had Dad's, easily… I guess that's one reason why I've been so at peace with his death when he only died this past November. There was nothing left unsaid between us, nothing else needed or wanted… If my mom were to die suddenly, I'd have a ton of issues that would leave her haunting my mind for ages. x_x I've rambled on again, sorry.

[NecrochildK]

Heh, thanks, though I don't have a workout partner. It kind of would be nice, but in some ways, I'm too competitive to take a partner. Chances are, I would get down on myself if I couldn't outdo them.

[NecrochildK]

::smiles and hugs:: Thanks so much. Really, I've been praying a lot lately, thanking God for every little success and asking that for once in my life, I can succeed at something. I want this more than anything and I pray God is with me in this. Because I'm really going to need His help in dealing with Mom.

[NecrochildK]

^_^ Hello and welcome, Sarah!

[NecrochildK]

Adding one more of left shoulder from the front.

[NecrochildK]

Got another pic to post. Next to me legs, my most developed muscles seem to be my upper back, mostly the shoulders. This is all not counting my lower back which can push the most weight on a machine out of any part of me because of being trained to overcompensate for my pathetic spine, though you can't see the muscle there anyways x_x Too padded.

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