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I'd be willing to, if you've no objections.

I'm a half decent editor.

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Thanks both of you but I'm nowhere NEAR Marknew.

If I criticize, I mean it.

When I compliment, I mean it as well.

I've only read the two stories of yours. Whatever my opinion of the one scene, the first showcased your talent well. This one is quite frankly a much stronger showing, more in-depth characterization, and very good plotting. If anything I think the fantastical nature of this kind of venue makes this kind of story *harder* in a swords and sorcery setting such as this because of the ease of relying on magic – but so far you have done a very good job with building up and holding to a consistent internal logic within the setting.

I think you have a story that will fall in amongst the ones I posted, which frankly range from excellent to, well, Marknew. I don't place it in that company casually and I look forward to reading it.

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I'd wish you'd point them out to me, because I sure haven't found them on my own.

Umm – wow.

Without disparaging anyones work, just reading off my kneejerk reactions from http://www.thevalkyrie.com/library.html :

It's hard not to mention Marknew as the definitive example – He was writing big, long plotted out stories back when the usenet was still a thing – "The Spell" is pretty much what I blame for my having this fetish, other great examples are alt.univ, and ABX, and by the way never read "The Spell" on alt.amazon-women.admirers, read rec.arts.comics.creative, then go straight to bed – it's like dropping your cerebral cortex into a word processor set to 'blend' – <G>. Valerafon, while I would be lying to claim having Marknew's consistency, has very good moments and if I ever find him I will lock him in a basement till at least three more chapters of "My Bavarian Assignment" get slid under the door. Jimmy Dimples of course. Several stories by Diana the Valkyrie herself. I even rather like "The Magic Ring" by Plowjack who tends rather more towards the "What Fun" than "Long plotted out series" end of the spectrum in many ways.

Hope that helps. I think "Star Stones" is going to join some illustrious company – but I do indeed believe he will have company.

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Writing is indeed a pain , and hard work. I didn't have time to read the chapter in it's entirety, so I skimmed a good deal of it. For the first time that I can remember I have seen a foundation of solid story telling in one of these kinds of stories. Actual conflict, setbacks, goals striven for, consequences… This almost makes me hold out hope that this genera will eventually take the art of writing seriously. Good job. Your 5 star rating is well deserved.

To the extent that I think There are others that write excellent plot and characterization within this Genre, I will disagree with you on that.

That said – yes, excellent writing on this.

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Coolness – Thanks- Pug

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So very much looking forward to this – If I can't have more Crzyfck Stories, I will happily accept revamps of Crzyfck stories – <G> – Pug

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i hope this help:

http://strengthlevel.com/table.php&nbsp;  😉

Nice resource – Pug

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It seems to me to be a good story (I read the first, but not knowing Portuguese, can't directly compare them; Babelfish loses quite a bit).

I do get a bit anxious about the religious angle, I'm okay with (internally consistent) magick, but when the divine come into the story it becomes really touchy to either allow it or find out it's not the cause. That's not a 'don't do it', but merely a 'use care' – <G>.

But yeah, I like the writing style of both Marknew and Crazyfck, and anything that's built in that style sounds good to me.

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I've always thought the 'absolute power corrupts' is a bit of a cheat. Unless she is a completely disgusting cynic (Who are boring), from her perspective, she's doing good – or trying, like most of us.

I'd say it's something that gets started, and she is forced to do more and more to keep it from becoming an even bigger mess than it is, in a butterfly effect sort of way. From that perspective maybe you need to work out what her ability can and can't do – maybe her psuedoscience quantum tweaker can *only* improve women, but when she helps a woman, it affects woman according to how similar their mitochondria is. So she can't help any woman, without improving all of them . . . some. And once you've turned your best friends cousin into the school bully because you helped your best friend, you have to help the japanese girls she's picking on . . . of course, then you have to fix  . . .

I leave the rest as an exercise for the student – <G>. Plus, I suck at writinng – <G>

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I confess, I'm just never quite sure on the protocol of how to demand my favorite writers get going on my favorite stories. Do it privately and feel like an arse or do it publicly and look like an arse – <G>.

So I settled on a plan where I kidnapped my favorite writers, holding them hostage in a 'The Village' like island in the South Pacific – Currently I have cottages set aside for Stewy, Greapos and Marknew, and frankly CrzyFck, if you will come along quietly, it would make this go so much easier than if I have to send in the man-napping Gynoids.

I like these simple solutions – <G>

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