[stimpy]

It's not sarcasm, she looks gross.  Karen Zaremba is only 5 years younger and looks 100 times better than Madonna does.  It doesn't look like buff, thick, healthy muscle.  It looks more like muscle that comes naturally from the body with no fat at all.

Um… OK.  You're certainly entitled to your opinion.  Suffice it to say I disagree with it.

[stimpy]

I'm looking at Madonna's arms.

Personally I find them to be looking pretty gross.  The reason being is for the fact that was just mentioned earlier, there is not an ounce of fat on her body at all.  There doesn't seem to be any skin that you could squish or mush with your fingers, everything would just be spindly muscle.

I'm sure she's probably very healthy, but in my opinions she looks like a stick man with muscles.

Assuming the above isn't sarcasm… I have to say she looks pretty darn good for a 50 year old (or even a 30 year old, for that matter).  And if you want to use the "stick man with muscles" argument, you're probably in the wrong forum.

Assuming the above isn't sarcasm.  😉

[stimpy]

WOW.  50 years old, 2 kids, and not an ounce of fat on her body.

Absolutely amazing arms.  I hope she gets even bigger and "scares" the anorexia-obsessed tabloids even more.  Maybe A-Rod can get her some HGH to retard the aging process and send her muscles into overdrive.

Then again… maybe he already has…  ::)

[stimpy]

Your story line is very well-developed… er… so to speak.

Excellent job!

[stimpy]

Thanks for the kind words, everyone, and sorry for the long layoff.  In keeping with Magnus Magneto's question of how long I can keep this going, I've decided to wrap this up.  Enjoy!  🙂

Part 8:  I am Folklore

Colonel Robert Neville went over the images of the match and its aftermath in his mind as he walked down the hotel corridor lined by burly Secret Service agents.  Fortunately, the President happened to be in town to make a speech at the United Nations.  Neville was rushed over to brief him on the outbreak.  A smartly-dressed, athletic female met him at the door and examined his badge.  After she verified his identity, she opened the VIP Suite door for him and allowed him to enter.

The room was surprisingly dark, with only a few beams of light coming in through the window.  A bespectacled President Lingster leaned back in his chair at the head of a long table, most of his face concealed by shadow.  Several members of his Cabinet were also in attendance, seated around the table.  Also present was the President’s special advisor, Mr. DCM.

“Please sit down, Colonel.”

As Neville took a chair, the Secretary of the Interior caught his eye.  She glanced at him up and down as she contemplatively took a lick of a Tootsie Pop.  The Secretary of State, a man who resembled Charlie Brown, let out a brief sigh.

“I understand you have concerns about an outbreak, Colonel Neville?”

“Yes, sir.  There appears to be some sort of communicable pathogen that presents itself as gigantism in the—“

Colonel Neville was interrupted by a ringing phone.  It was the Secretary of State’s personal line.  An aide handed the phone to Secretary Magnus.

“Magnus.  Good evening, Mr. Ambassador.  I am in a very high level… I’m sorry, could you repeat that?  RESIGNED?  Who is “Czarina Elena?”  Nikolai, have you been drinking?  No, I’m sorry, but you have to admit this is rather difficult to… Mr. Ambassador, the President is with me, may I put you on speaker… Hello?  Hello?  Good Grief.”

President Lingster leaned further back into the shadows.  “You care to enlighten me, M?”

“That was the Russian Ambassador.  He says the Russian President has resigned and the Monarchy has been restored.  Someone calling herself “Czarina Elena” is now the Head of State.”

“Now that’s something you don’t see everyday,” Defense Secretary AlexG interjected.

“Well, this will demand my immediate attention.  Colonel Neville, I’m afraid I can only give you another minute or two.”

Neville spoke up.  “I’ll give you the short version, then.  One of the competitors in the U.S. Open displayed unusual growth in size and strength during her match…”

“Yes, I saw that,” Lingster interrupted.  “It was most impressive.”

“Yes, sir, but it also appears any woman she came in contact with after the match began to exhibit the same symptoms, most notably her opponent. The Nightly News anchorwoman for HRCBC literally burst out of her outfit on National TV. “

“Yep, that was Katie’s best show in years,” Secretary Fonk quipped with a smirk.

“Then it appears these women became carriers as well, causing significant height and muscle growth in any women THEY touched.”

“I can vouch for that,” Mr. DCM offered.  “At least three women I know have gotten quite a bit bigger… and two of them were… shall we say… rather athletic to begin with.”

President Lingster leaned forward, but somehow managed to fall even more deeply in the shadows.  “Am I to understand this pathogen only makes women bigger and stronger?”

“Yes, Mr. President.  I believe the wisest course of action is to immediately quarantine the…”

The President rose from his chair, followed by all others around the table.  “Then I don’t really see a problem.  Thank you for your interest in National Security, Colonel Neville.  I must make contact with the Russian Czarina now.  Good day.”

Bewildered, Colonel Neville turned around and walked out.  A seven foot tall, muscular woman wearing the tattered remains of a smart outfit opened the door for him.

Neville was in a quandary.  What was he to do?  There must be some way to convince the President this outbreak was extremely dangerous.  Maybe if he…

At that moment, a hotel door opened up and huge hand grasped Neville by the shoulder and dragged him into the room.  Neville caught his breath and saw a towering woman, over eight feet tall, with nothing but curves and muscles to be seen.  Other than her enormous breasts, she did not appear to have an ounce of fat on her body.  It was Serena.

Neville stammered, “Look… you… you’ve got a disease.  I can fix this.  LET ME CURE YOU!”

Serena slowly flexed as flesh expanded everywhere.  “Do I LOOK sick, mister?”  At that moment, she twitched.  And grew.  In one motion, she scooped Neville up with one hand and kissed him.

Neville gasped for air as Serena tore his uniform off.  The hotel door slowly closed as incredible smashing and banging noises emanated from behind it.  After a few seconds, Neville’s voice was clearly heard to exclaim, “I have GOT to get me one of THESE!”

The End (?)

[stimpy]

Err, I'm totally confused now. ???

That makes one of us.

[stimpy]

The Mr T one's better.:

Dang! So harsh! What's the deal?  Did I steal your red wagon when you were a kid, or what?

???

[stimpy]

Erm, right… ::) ??? ;D

OK, you got me.

I'm Batman.

[stimpy]

Male, early thirties, pizza delivery guy.  One day, while making a delivery, I got caught in a time warp and now I hang out in the distant future with an old geezer professor, a one-eyed alien babe, and a wise-cracking robot.

[stimpy]

And so the Match begins…

Part 7

Serena enjoyed the feeling of her body pressing against her outfit as she strutted onto Center Court.  She thought back to the months of intense training that transformed her body.  Despite the agony, she felt elated every time she upped the weights.  Every morning, she felt renewed vigor as she looked at herself in the mirror and noticed changes… first tighter and firmer, then, when her muscles could get no tighter, she got bigger.  And bigger.  And bigger.  And now, it would be quite a shock for all of those fans who hadn’t seen her in some time.  If they thought she was a monster before, wait till they get a load of her now.

As she walked into view of the crowd, she found herself wishing her outfit was even tighter than it was.  The cheers of the crowd suddenly turned into stunned silence.  Serena was delighted; she quickly decided to give the crowd an impromptu show and flexed both biceps, causing them to round into impressive bulges.  She then increased the tension of her arms three times until she was flexing with maximum effort, her biceps nearly doubling in size each time.  What an unbelievable sight it must have been, undoubtedly looking like she had muscles on her muscles.  But, as Serena realized with shock as she looked around, none of the fans were looking at her.

Serena turned to look.  All eyes were transfixed on a blonde figure bounding onto the court.  The face was familiar, but the body was not.  The musculature looked much like Serena’s did a moment before, only Maria wasn’t flexing.  And there was something else:  she appeared a lot closer than she really was.  By relative size, she should be on the court already, but she was still many yards away.  With each step, Maria loomed larger and larger.  By the time she was on the court, Serena was at eye-level with her suddenly huge bust line. 

For a few long seconds, there was silence with the exception of a few whispers.  One cutting voice said, “Ah, she’s only 5-11.  She’s just wearing tennis shoes – that makes her look taller.”  Finally, the umpire regained his senses and closed his mouth.  A shaking hand presented balls to Maria for her serve.

Maria paused for a moment, giving her racket a puzzled look.  It was so small – she was unsure what to do with her fingers because the palm of her hand engulfed the entire handle.  Finally, the logistics figured out, she wound up for her serve.

Flesh seemingly expanded everywhere as her body tensed.  Arms, legs and chest all exploded outward as her outfit was stretched to what seemed to be micro fiber.  Then came a white blur connecting with the ball, which instantly became a green blur and shot across the court before Serena could even twitch.  Finally, there was the trademark grunt, only a half-octave deeper and many times louder than normal.  A pane of glass in the press box shattered as her grunt echoed through the stands.

“Fault!”

The crowd was utterly silent.  Serena merely stared forward in disbelief.  Her shock was compounded as she saw Maria twitch.  Wait… did she just get… BIGGER?

With a shrug, Maria recalculated her shot angle and adjusted her outfit.  She served again, with slightly less force since it was her second serve.  Serena got a good jump and sent a monstrous forehand sailing down the line, pouring every last ounce of power she had into it.  With remarkable agility, Maria sprinted and hit the ball back with a powerful grunt.  Serena dove and got her racket on the ball, but it sailed to the side.  Maria straightened out… and twitched.

“15-Love.”

And so the match continued much this way.  Maria displayed incredible speed and strength on every shot, and with every grunt she let out, she would twitch and get bigger.  Serena was able to make a few points thanks to her incredible training, but the endless cycle of grunt-twitch-grow made things an increasing mismatch.  Maria won, 6-0, 6-0 in 35 minutes.  As they met at the net to shake hands, Serena noticed she was eye level with Maria’s navel.  During the handshake, Serena felt her opponent’s slightly viscous sweat drip from her enormous hand into hers.  As she walked away bewildered and dejected, Serena felt a slight tingle in her hand.

*          *          *

Elena awoke with a tremendous headache.  She swept her incredibly long hair out of her face and stagger to her feet.  She slowly realized what had happened to Maria.  The active ingredient of the shot was the Slade Formula, originally intended to reverse the aging process.  Because Maria took such a large dose, and because she was only 19 years old, the formula caused her physical development to regress, which is why she became so thin.  When she received the antidote, it worked exactly as it should have… except in this case, it caused her to “age” back through her adolescent years, causing her to grow taller and stronger instead of returning her to normal.  As a result, the “antidote” actually accelerated the growth side-effect.  Therefore… Dear God!

Elena realized with horror that the operative term wasn’t “accelerated” but “accelerating”!  Maria was going to continue to “age” rapidly, only in this case, it meant develop and grow as an adolescent would.  And didn’t Maria grow 30 centimeters in one year?  She must do something to…

And then Elena had another realization.  She reached behind her and felt two syringes sticking out of her back.  She pulled them out and examined them.  They were both empty; undoubtedly they had contained the Slade Formula.  Elena said aloud, “Well, THIS is going to be interesting…” as she doubled over in pain.

[Author]

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