Celeb Saga I Prt 4 (with TF’s!)

Well if anyone's enjoying it, here's the next chapter, if not I can get out of your way guys.  Anyhoo nice job on the new site format 🙂

Everybody Hulks

Shakira came down from her room and met Mike who was still seated at the bar having what now seemed to be a heated discussion with Dennis.  She could see he was as smartly dressed as she could hope he’d be.  White shirt, black trousers, polished shoes; she wasn’t expecting anything special from him.  She walked over to them, catching the middle of their conversation.
‘Raging Bull is the greatest boxing movie of all time you schmuck. Who can deny the dedicated performance of De Niro?’  Mike argued.
‘I still say Rocky was the greatest boxing movie of all time, Mr Rielly.’
‘You’re discounting number five I hope…’
‘Oh hell yeah’
‘Well you make a persuasive argument, especially as three features Mr. T’s best performance, but you see the fight scenes…’
Shakira realising that this argument could go on all night interrupted.
‘Actually I think Ali’s the best boxing movie.’
There was a long pause as both Mike and Dennis looked at Shakira.  Dennis seemed staggered at the beauty of Shakira in her black dress and curvaceous figure.  Mike too realised that he was looking too long at the low cut on Shakira’s dress and seemed fixated on her ‘small and humbles’.  Mike grabbed Dennis by the collar and brought him down to the bar level.
‘Dennis, I like you kid but I think you better fix me another coke with ice before you get too comfortable.’  Dennis reluctantly did so.
‘Shaks, you dress divinely but you know nothing about the finer arts of boxing movies.’ Mike continued as Dennis returned with his drink.  Mike drank it down quickly and got up off the stool.
‘Ready to go, honey?’ Shakira asked sweetly.
‘Ready as I’ll ever be, Dennis I’ll see you later.’
‘No problem Mr. Rielly. Would you like another cushion for your car seat for…’ Dennis pointed to his rear end as Shakira held back her laughter.  Mike seemed unamused.
‘Dennis?’
‘Yes Sir?’
‘Shut Up’

‘So let me get this straight, we’re going to a swanky Hollywood party and yet you have no idea who’s throwing it.’  Mike questioned while driving the car.
‘Bravo Mr. Wayne.  Look it’s Hollywood, celebrity parties are thrown all the time without anyone having a clue who’s hosting them, it’s part of the celebrity high life.’ Shakira replied.
‘I’ve known you for three years and besides you telling me the fact that you’re a She Hulk only yesterday, we’ve never been to any high rise celebrity parties.’
‘That’s because I’m stuck with always having to suffer your backstage frat parties.’
‘You said you liked dancing to old Beastie Boys songs and playing how’d that llama end up in my bedroom!!’
Shakira was looking into the panel mirror while carefully attaching her earrings.  She had a look of deep concentration as she put the first one on as she spoke: ‘Mike, I do like those parties but it’s nice to have a bit of sophistication in my life now and then, it’s something I’ve so rarely gotten to do since hooking up with you.’
‘There was that time we watched Sense And Sensibility…’
‘Yeah which turned into a drinking game and only because it was supposed to be Die Hard.  You fell unconscious five minutes in anyhow because your version prompted to drink a shot when someone said an ‘old timey word’.  Madre De Dios’ she muttered under her breath.
‘Well I’m so sorry that you think getting hammered isn’t an idea of a good time, well hopefully you’ll have a nice time tonight…well apart from this whole ‘I know you’re big secret ‘deal…Speedbump.’
As Mike uttered the words, Shakira was in the midst of putting on her second earring.  Upon going over the speed bump, the earring didn’t go in her ear smoothly and scratched her ear beginning to sting.  She yelped in pain and felt her ear feeling a little bit of blood.  Mike glanced at her ear and could see the scratch was beginning to heal already.  Shakira could feel herself getting hot and began to sweat slightly on the forehead.  Her body was tingling all over and she knew that she was beginning to transform.  She put her palms flat on the dashboard and watched as the skin rippled on her hands.  Her breathing was becoming more ragged and she closed her eyes tight.  She snapped them open to see bright green glowing eyes staring back at her in the panel mirror.  She could feel her feet shifting in her shoes too and she struggled to slip them off.  As her dress felt more constricting she let out a loud ‘UHHHH’ which immediately caught Mike’s attention.  He pulled over on the road in wide eyed surprised as he was once again witnessing his best friend transform into the She Hulk.
He was also bummed because his favourite part of Huey Lewis’ ‘Power Of Love’ was about to come on and he had every intention of singing along to the power ballad classic.
‘Shaks, no no no.  No SheHulka, not now.  SheHulka bad.  SheHulka would mean I’d have to move back the seat and this is a compact.  SheHulka would ruin that lovely dress you’re wearing.  Goddammit stop grunting!!’  Mike spoke in a panicky voice.
‘GRRR…Would like to…but….AHHH…pretty hard to stop!!’  Shakira grunted.  She knew as soon as she’d double over in pain, it’d be too late.  Mike began to massage her shoulders which somehow began to calm her down.  It felt good and she felt like she was taking control of her alter ego, her anger subsiding.  Mike leaned closer, sweating from panic and began to gently speak in her ear: ‘C’mon Shaks, you don’t wanna be doing this right now, this’ll cause more bad than good, take it easy babe ok.  C’mon, I love you babe, fight the change.’
Shakira instantly softened and seemed to be sweating less now.  Taking a deep breath and closing her eyes she stopped twitching and the transformation seemed to stop.  She opened her eyes again and Mike was greeted by the warm brown in her eyes.  She exhaled and looked at Mike who was squirming nervously.
‘You love me?’  She said.
Mike’s eyes grew wide again and he sat back down in the seat staring ahead.  ‘Not love you in the Barry White sense of the word, just in a cool sister type of way. You know?’ he playfully punched her on the arm.
Shakira looked slightly dejected as she said ‘oh’.  Mike turned to her again: ‘Babe, I really care about you that much is true…everything I do…I do it, no that’s too cliché, but just know that I’ll always be by your side, as a friend, cool?  You ok now?’
Shakira smiled back at him and touched his arm.  ‘Yeah, I’m really ok.’
Mike smiled back.  ‘Speed bumps, cause more accidents than prevent them huh?’  He started up the car and turned the radio back up and began to sing along. ‘Well here I go again on my owwwwn…take it Shaks.’
Shakira sighed and sang along too ‘Going down the only road I’ve ever knowwwn.’

Twenty minutes later, the couple pulled up at the gates of a large mansion.  It had already grown dark and rain was beginning to fall, a thunderstorm appearing to brew up.  On the front windows there were many lights showing that the party was occurring in more than one room. Just then, a lightning bolt struck and illuminated the household making both Mike and Shakira jump.
‘Well it’s got a nice Bates Motel quality to it.  Does it say Hammer on the gates?’
‘No.’
‘Well that’s one suspect off the list then.’
‘Mike ring the intercom and tell whoever it is that we’re here.’
Mike reached over and pressed the intercom.  It crackled into life.  A young Spanish voice could be heard. ‘Hello?’
‘My god Shakira, it’s Jennifer Lopez’s residence, it’s an evil scheme to wipe out all other Latina superstars.  First you, then Gloria Estefan!!’
‘This is Maria, one of the home help, how can I help you?’
Shakira pushed Mike out of the way and leant over to speak into the intercom. ‘Uhh Hi, this is Shakira, I umm received an invitation to the party today, who’s residence is this?’
The intercom turned itself off and the gates swung open.  Mike drove up the driveway and parked into a space. ‘Well whoever it is, they’re keeping they’re identity secret.  I can’t believe you, I was about to do my drive thru routine!’  Shakira responded by kicking him in the shin.  They both walked up to the door and rang the doorbell.
‘Maybe Lurch will open the door’
‘Maybe you need another kick in the shin’
The door swung open to reveal an elderly gentleman smartly dressed.  He was wearing gold buttons on his jacket on an all black suit.  When he spoke there was a clear English accent to his voice.
‘Good Evening Madam, welcome to the party, may I have your invitation?’
‘I knew it!  It’s Hugh Grant, he’s the villain!’  As Mike said this, the elderly gentleman turned his attention to Mike and a slight look of surprise came across his face.  The man turned to Shakira and began to stammer slightly.
‘M-madam brought a guest?’
Shakira raised an eyebrow.  ‘Uhhh yeah, the invitation said I could.’
The man quickly rushed to a phone mounted on the wall and dialled a number holding his hand out to delay the guests.
‘Yes, yes I didn’t know she’d bring a guest.  It’s ok?  Are you sure? Ok not a problem.’  He turned to them both. ‘I’m dreadfully sorry, it’s just we weren’t prepared.  Ms. Shakira, if you could possibly wear this badge, our host has insisted all guests wear their appropriate name badges.’  Shakira obliged.
‘Hey, where’s my name badge?’
‘You don’t get one sir, I hope you’ll get over it.’ The man said sarcastically.
‘You’re on my list…Benson.’ Shakira sighed and ushered Mike into the main room.
‘You know Shaks we may be on the wrong course here, I mean maybe they ‘know’ about your party lifestyle and not that other thing.’
‘I’m hoping you’re right, ohh wow.’
Shakira was wowing at the sight of the main party room.  On both sides of the room were long tables with buffet food and a bar at one corner of the room.  There seemed to be excited chatter around the room and it appeared that the room was immaculately clean.  It was so large too, she’d never seen a room so large.
‘Ok honey, I’m gonna go mingle, you can have a drink but make sure you don’t have too many.’
‘Shaks, who do you think you’re talking to?’
‘DON’T HAVE TOO MANY!’
‘Yes ma’am’

Mike wandered over to the bar and sat down on a stool.  He ordered a JD and coke and turned round to the person besides him.  To his surprise, it was popular actress Courtney Cox.  He smiled at her and she returned his smile.
‘Uhh hi, buy you a drink?’ Mike said.
‘The drinks here are free’ she laughed.
‘Get you a free drink?’
‘Sure thing, glass of white wine.’  Mike motioned to the bartender who rolled his eyes and placed a glass of white wine in front of her.
‘So you must be really happy that Friends is over huh?’
‘Oh hell yeah, you wouldn’t believe what hard work that show was.  I’m gonna miss it though, all the guys were great to work with.’
‘Yeah, yeah.  So where’s David?’
‘David’s off shooting a new movie and I’d just be cooped up in the house all day so this party was a welcome surprise.’
‘Yeah, about that, you know who’s throwing this shindig?’
‘That’s weird I really don’t know, I mean the area is familiar but our host’s identity is just being kept a big secret.’
‘Uh-huh…so did you ever slip Lisa or Jennifer the tongue behind scenes?’
Courtney shocked at the statement poured her glass of wine over Mike’s head and stormed off to another part of the room.  Mike dripping wet turned to the bartender.
‘Another JD and coke sir?’ the bartender asked.
‘Please, it’s gonna be a long night.’

Shakira looked around to see if she recognised any of her celebrity pals.  Not recognising anyone she strode over to the buffet table and tapped the female at the table helping herself to canapés.
‘Uhhh hi?’ Shakira nervously said.
The female turned round to reveal herself as Katie Holmes.  She was looking breathtaking in her jeans and short tube top.  Her hair was shining off the room’s lights and she shuffled in her trainers.
‘Oh my god, you’re Shakira!!’ Katie perkily said.
‘Oh wow, you’re Katie Holmes, I love your movies’ Shakira replied.
‘Ohh thanks, I really enjoy your music, in fact I listened to your CD on the way over here.’
‘Cool.  Hey what’s with the casual gear?’
‘Well the invitation didn’t really specify, I thought I’d be the odd one out but it turns out the room’s pretty half and half on the matter.’  Shakira looked around at this point and did indeed notice that half the room was dressed in casual clothes while the other half wore elaborate dresses.
‘Whoever organised this party seems to be a little all over the place.’
‘Yeah I know, I was so freaked out when I first got the invitation, it just popped out of nowhere.’
‘So you all got invitations?’
‘Apparently so, everybody’s in the dark as to what’s happening.’
‘Katie…umm, you’re not like a…Madre I don’t know how to say this.’
‘Sorry Shakira, what’re you getting at?’
‘Nothing.  I was just thinking for a second.’
‘Who’s that dreamy guy you came in with?’
‘Mike?!?  Ohh, he’s just my friend, actually I’m sure he’d love to meet you later on, he’s a big fan of yours.’
‘Well he’s gonna be popular, he’s the only guy here so far.’
‘Only guy, what the?’ Shakira looked again around the room and did indeed notice that Mike appeared to be the only guy.
‘I’m sure it’s just a coincidence, like they’re boyfriends are shooting films or they’re just single.’
‘Yeah but…’ Shakira was about to press further when she was interrupted by that other young pop/film sensation Mandy Moore.  She was glowing in her red party dress and black strappy high heels.  Shakira rolled her eyes.
‘Hey Mandy.’ Shakira sighed.
‘Hey Shakira, I thought it was you. How’re you doing?’ She asked peppily.
‘I’m fine Mandy, good job on the new film, watched it, loved it.’ Shakira lied through her teeth.
‘Yeah, I uhh really liked it too’ Katie added.
‘That’s soo great, you guys. You’re making me blush.’
‘Uhh you know Mandy, Mike’s here, I’m sure you’d like to see him.’
‘You know, I think I will say hi.  Me and you can catch up soon, you too Katie.’ Mandy laughed and left them.
‘Wow.’ Katie said.
‘I know, she can’t seem to get off my shoulder.  I hope I haven’t put Mike in it.’