Dragonball: Absurd Crossing


Dragonball: Absurd Crossing.

Chapter 4: Training with the Lord of Worlds.

Close to a month later…

Ox King was beginning to worry that Chichi might be overdoing her training alittle bit. It was close to a month passed since her adventure into the Paneva Ruins, and he was becoming prouder of his daughter by the day, if that were even possible. It was hard for him to compare what was a once a vibrant and ‘delicate’ woman with the even more vibrant, energetic and younger looking and acting woman with a now very obvious build.

"Good job, Chichi!" Videl and Ox-King cheered in alternation as Gohan and his mother sparred in the open field. Unfortunately it was about all they could as the two fighters spent most of their time moving faster than their eyes could keep track with. She was tossing everything she had at Gohan, Gohan meanwhile remaining on the defensive throughout the contest. Gohan saw he was obviously frustrating Chichi, but in truth he just wasn’t sure he could throw a punch back at his mother.

"Go grandma!" Pan shouted from her spot on Ox King’s left shoulder, waving her hands excitedly in the air. Ox King glanced at her face, or to be specific, her eyes. Atleast someone out of them could actually watch and enjoy the sparring contest…

‘Pretty stunning progress…’ Gohan could not help but think as he caught an incoming precision left hook within his palm, and nimbly ducked under the following roundhouse kick.

Gohan plainly could see the outlines of her prominent bicep muscles outlining the ‘loose’ sleeves of her large pink sweatshirt like steely tangerines, her swollen thighs creating the shapely effect through her pants. Her face was steeled and determined, like she always became in anything she put her heart into. Meanwhile for Gohan, it has been so long again since he’d actually pit his skills against anyone, and Chichi was actually catching him by surprise here and there, nearly breaking through his defense at the beginning of the match before he finally fell back into the lessons learned in the years of martial arts training from Piccolo and his father.

After that day with the demon hordes, Chichi fully explained to he and Videl what she planned on doing. Shocked wasn’t the word for their reaction of her training to fight again, let alone trying her hand at such a high task as trying to equal her own husband.

After she’d returned from the ruins incident, a greater confidence and gusto came as reward, and she worked out twice as hard as before, yet still complained of not pushing the envelope hard enough. He worried she would soon or later burn out, but so far, she’d only grown stronger from it…

Today however, she decided to take the day to spar with her eldest son, to measure her own current ability. Like she expected though, she couldn’t lay a finger on him.



Reappearing out of seemingly thin air, mother and son stood poised in battle stance, until Chichi took a deep breath and stood up straight, stretching out her limbs.

"Okay… I guess that’s enough for now," She huffed alittle, exhausted by her exertions. Her chest swelled into her baggy shirt, making the fabric stretch alittle in certain places before she relaxed, only for the process to repeat itself over and again. If it weren’t for the length of the shirt, it probably would’ve snapped free from her slim, tightly belt-tied waist by now.

"That’s not bad mom, you’ve gotten strong so quickly," He said, truthfully impressed. He chuckled. "Never underestimate the teachings of Kamesenin!"

"Yea… but now I can see where I stand against you and your father," She answered with a sigh.

"But, if you keep up–"

"Oh, CAN IT, Gohan!" Chichi yelled back in a sudden burst of anger. Everyone… even Chichi herself was stunned by her own outburst. With tears welling in her eyes, she ran off to the house. The group looked between eachother in silence, their faces brimming with confusion.


"…Mom?" Gohan spoke as he stepped into his mother’s room, Videl close behind. Chichi was meanwhile sitting on the bed, her face buried into her hands as she shivered, her tears wetting her palms.

"… This was a stupid idea," She mumbled aloud, "Since I started this training, the only thing that has become clear is just how TRULY strong you guys really are. I’m not a Saiyan, a Namek or an Android, just a normal human. And I can’t even hope to get near even the best human martial artists like Krillin or Tenshinhan, who have been training for years from when they were younger to get as good as they are."

"But mom… why are you putting yourself down so much?" Gohan asked as he walked over to his mother’s side, sitting down beside her. "You told me your own father trained you from the time when you were young…"

"But after marrying your father, I gave up fighting to devote myself to being a housewife, and to give you a positive upbringing…" She sighed, staring at the floor. "In a way, all those years were lost… and all this time, I thought I maybe he would settle down one day… but by the time I realized that would never happen… I’m way too old to do anything about it!!" She sobbed angrily.

Gohan wanted to object on the age point. She and Bulma BARELY looked their ages now, and training she was doing was giving an even greater tone and crafting to her body… And heck, even Mr Satan was still up and fighting, running his #1 martial arts school. She continued on before he could give his words form.

"Not that it would’ve made a difference; you’re all so damn STRONG!! How can anyone possibly compete with it without being an alien, or, something…"

Videl stepped into the room, sitting down on Chichi’s otherside as she spoke.

"I think I understand what you’re going through Chichi; I felt the same way after I realized just how strong Gohan *really* was so long ago, back in high school and at the 25th Budokai."

Gohan nervously swallowed a lump in his throat as he looked back and forth between wife and mother. He never felt guilty before about his own strength. It was an undeniable truth, but they had to push their limits and get stronger all those times, to combat against the menacing foes threatening their world and their lives. He didn’t know what to say to make her feel better; she should instead be proud of the strength she had obtained!

Speaking of which…

"AHHHH! And to top things off, I’m all big and bulky now!" She exclaimed into her son and daughter-in-law’s ears, making Gohan cringe and Videl nearly fall off the bedside. She began to poke a finger at her left biceps, flexing it on and off from a rock hard, orange-sized mass to something even greater. Gohan was stared almost slackjawed for afew moments at the bulging mound of tight muscle, a small vein gently cresting the peak. It was such an incredible change in the look between the mother he’d known throughout his childhood all the way into adulthood, and the one here and now flexing an admirable mass of muscle. He began to chuckle alittle awkwardly as she began to poke herself all over in a frantic motion, as if trying to make her washboard abs, rounded forearms, and broadened shoulders disappear.

"It looks natural on you, really!" Son Gohan replied with a nervous chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck. Now he thought about it, somehow she did look… younger, more radiant perhaps, what tiny signs of age in her skin she had were now practically impossible to see…

"It’s not a bad thing."

"…You…. think so?" She asked Gohan, and then looked over to Videl for female support. She answered with a comforting nod.

"What looks so bad about this?" She asked, stepping over to poke the powerful curve of muscle. And then poke it again, harder, and one more time, her mouth an ‘o’ of awe.

"Wow, it’s so hard…"

Getting caught up in it, she gave the biceps a squeeze, oblivious to the low-eyed stare Chichi was giving her. She was surprised at how tough it felt in her fingertips as it refused to give a millimeter to her strength.

"Women aren’t supposed to be ‘hard’," Chichi said with a pout, sweatdropping.

"Well I think Gokou would be pleased." Chichi blushed.

"Huh? What do you mean?" A pause, and then… "You really think so?" She began to blush and frown, looking down at her sweat soaked body and chuckled alittle uneasily, running a hand through her hair.

"Of course he would," Gohan answered, trying to get back into the conversation. "Besides, he’d love you no matter what!"

"Nice textbook answer," Videl playfully chided him as he sighed uneasily. The two women chuckled at his innocent blushing.

"So, what now?" Gohan asked, "Are you going to continue training?"

She thought on it for a long moment…

"Yes, I think I will. It’s not like I have all that much else to do anyway, though I don’t know anymore about the entire challenging Gokou to a fair fight…"

<<Goooood…. to hear that….>> Chichi gasped.

"That voice again! Just who are you, and what do you want now??"

Gohan and Videl blinked and raised their eyebrows at Chichi, scratching their heads as she talked to the ceiling.

<<The truth… will be knnoooowwwnnnn….! Journey to…. God’s… Lookoooooout… ouuut… ouuut……!>>

Chichi couldn’t help but feel that she heard that voice before from somewhere, not just from the ruins she traveled in the past month. She was totally unaware of the duet of offbeat looks she was meanwhile receiving from the two.

"God’s lookout…"


After a grueling 3-hour drive above the clouds, Chichi finally arrived. She would’ve arrived about an hour or so earlier however if she’d remembered it’s location or gotten instructions. Luckily Piccolo found her and guided her to the temple in the sky in afew minutes. She wasn’t sure however, how he knew she was coming…

She still felt a tad uneasy being around the once ‘Demon King’ that was out to kill Gokou and take over the planet decades long ago, and more importantly kidnapped her son for a year and hardened him into a warrior, but that was so long ago, and she did her best not to let her intimidation show. It got harder as he stared far down at her, arms crossed, with just the slightest of emotion cresting his face. Her intimidation grew at the sight of it, until she realized his look to be a favorable… maybe even, friendly? But very knowing grin. Her intimidation transformed into curiosity as he led her across the grounds.

‘The once evil Piccolo sure has changed over the years…’

It wasn’t long before they could see Dende, the current god Earth, coming to meet them from the steps of the temple. The last time she’d seen either Namekian was years ago, during the Buu incident…

"Welcome back Piccolo, and hello Miss Chichi! I want to say what a good job you did with those demons afew weeks ago."

"You know about that??" She asked, surprised, then reprimanded herself.

‘Of course he would, he’s god.’

The shorter Namekian meanwhile nodded, and Piccolo’s grin seemed stretch a smidgen of a fraction wider. Chichi now had a good feeling that she knew what that smirk was about. She couldn’t help but bashfully smile herself.

"So you guys are the ones that were talking in my head?"

"Oh no, that wasn’t us, but you’re going to meet him now. Ready?" He asked, offering his hand. She was hesitant for a moment before she finally took it. She yelped and the young Namekian chuckled as they disappeared from the mortal plain.

Although he had his doubts, Piccolo snickered.

"Whatever happens, Gokou may be in for a pleasant surprise next time they meet…"


Chichi’s breath was taken away as in the blink of an eye, her body felt a comfortable numbness for just a nanosecond, as if someone was stretching and mushing her limbs before the abrupt disappearance. When she opened her eyes again, she found herself standing in a completely different location. The first thing she noticed was the giant desk overhead as big as a small house! Second was the giant, red skinned man in a blue business suit, sitting behind said desk and looking down at her and Dende.

"Ohh, Dende! And this must be umm…" He looked through his book for a moment, "Ohh yes, Chichi, the wife of Son Gokou! Please wait here, his flight is landing just now."

"Hey wait, wh-where are we??" She stammered as she looked back and forth at the blue skinned orcs wearing shirt and tie, idly going about their daily business, keeping order with a group of small white jabbering clouds who were standing… err… floating in an orderly line as they awaited judgment. "It looks familiar…"

"Why, this is the underworld of course!"

Chichi turned as blue in the face as the orcs that were walking around.


"Miss- Chiiie-chiiie pl-eea-se ca-llm d-oooww-n!" Dende tried to say as the hysterical woman shook him back and forth like a leaf.

"Y-ou-r NOT d-ea-d!"


"Quiiiite right," A subtle, familiar, whispering voice said from behind them. "This iiiiis theee unnndeerrr…."

Both Dende and Chichi turned to the sound of the annoying voice, but only saw air before them.

"Hey, umm… down here."

Looking down, standing little over a foot away from them, Dende and Chichi saw a short blue man eating a bag of airline peanuts. He reminded her of an insect from that odd cap he was wearing on his head with a pair of long antennae spouting forth. He reminded her of the Namek Dende with their similar pointy ears. He reminded her of the ‘Turtle Hermit’ Master Roshi, in the way that his dark sunglasses hid any possible chance of reading the emotions of his eyes. He reminded her of a catfish, by the way a pair of strange whiskers protruded from his cheeks.

He reminded her that he was dead, by the look of the glowing halo hovering over his head.

He reminded her of too many things. The short man chuckled,

"What’s up Dende?" Dende chuckled alittle nervously, and flicked the sweatdrop off the side of his brow.

The short man then held out his bag up to Chichi.

"Hi!! Peanut?"

"W-who are you? Wait, that voice… YOU are the one that’s been talking to me inside my head!"

"How was I? Eerie and spooky huh?" He hopped back a step and bowed before her cheerfully.

"The great King Kai, at your service!" The small blue man said, smiling an ear to ear smile, and then holding up a ‘V’ sign.


"So, let me get this straight; you want to train me in your art, which is the same one you taught Gokou long ago, the ‘KaioKen’?"

The small round man nodded.

"’The Fist of Worlds’! Taught to you by the ‘Lord of Worlds’! How’s that sound to you?"

"Like I need to wake up," Chichi said, sitting down in a nearby chair in disbelief. "I mean, coming to the underworld to be offered training by a martial arts god?? It’s all so… unbelievable!"

"Well yes, I guess it is…" King Kai felt flattered. He didn’t get this kind of respect from Gokou, or the other Kais for that matter. Alittle mortal recognition was nice to have once in awhile.

"But it’s a once in a after-lifetime offer! You’re training yourself so you can match Gokou, are you not?" She nodded, not giving second thought to how he knew that.

"The KaioKen may give you an edge, a chance…"

"Really? That’s great!" Chichi beamed.

"HOWEVER! I should warn you, that it WILL be difficult to learn; it is a massive strain on the body to use the technique. You will have to become strong in *ALL* *WAYS* to handle the KaioKen! Do you think you can?"

"Well, if my Gokou could it, then I can!" She proclaimed, Dende applauding her show of determination.

"Way to go, Ms Chichi!"

"IT’S NOT THAT EASY!!" King Kai yelled, making the both of them flinch.

"Gokou was a special case; his Saiyan heritage gave him a large advantage in learning the art. Plus, you will have to advance KaioKen to a level that even Gokou has not mastered; a level that I have just in the past few years created and perfected for use, ridding it of some of it’s flaws. But this will still not be an easy feat to accomplish I will tell you THAT much." Chichi was beginning to feel disheartened.


"AGH! Stop shouting like that!"

"Oh, sorry, drama and all. But anyway, you should not give up. This is your chance! I have made my own form of progression in the KaioKen art, not to mention I know afew extra tricks that I hadn’t time to teach Gokou during his time here. I definitely can not guarantee success…" his voice dropped to a low decibel a he continued, "But, if all goes well in the end, hopefully your wish… will come true…"

"What’s that?" The short man shook his head.

"Nevermind that now; I’m getting too talky as is. So, what do you say? Take the training?" Chichi thought about it for afew moments. She wondered what he was talking about at the end of his rambles, but made her decision.

"There’s no turning back for me. I’ll do it."

"Great, great! Today we’ll relax at my suite in Heaven, and tomorrow I will take you to the training grounds for your first day of training, alright?"


Dende barely managed to catch Chichi in time as she fainted.

The Kai of the North Quadrant sighed as looked down at the passed out woman.

"…Hooboy… these humans sometimes…Heaven’s no big deal. She forgets that she WAS dead before…"

"But on the otherhand, it’s not every day one gets an offer like this, is it Mr. Kai?" Dende politely asked. The North Kai snorted, holding in a laugh.

"Only if you don’t know THEIR family."