The Noctivigant Nurse


The marriage between Tia and Chad proved to be a blissful one, unmarred by the troubles that harry all too many couples. Being a man, Chad sometimes felt his eyes trailing towards other women, but it always halted when he felt the immense anaconda slithering in his pants.

No normal woman would want that, and I really prefer they don’t, actually… he would think whimsically.

Of course, that did not restrain Chad’s love life one iota. Tia learned that she had the power to shapeshift, and she found it very entertaining. One night he would have a giant facsimile of Jennifer Lopez on his bed, and Elle Macpherson the next. Mostly, he liked Tia as she appeared to the public, the woman who swept him off his feet in the hospital lounge. Tia did not mind the fantisies at all, and Chad thought it was sheer magnanmity until one night when he woke up looking like the silver haired guy at the end of Final Fantasy seven.

But what propelled their bedroom activities the most was what happened outside. They still went out frequently on dates, discussed books and politics, and talked interminably. Although they were millionaires due to wise handling of the prize money and magically enlarged diamonds, Tia still worked a couple shifts at the hospital, and Chad was occupied as a biochemistry professor at New York University. Nevertheless, they still had time to do chores together.

Exactly five years after their marriage, Tia woke to find Chad missing. The telephone rang at her ear.

"Hello?" She said after answering.

"Tia, It’s me. I have something to show you. Get some clothes on, and go to the front yard."

Chad’s wife complied with curiosity. "Now what?"

"Walk two miles north."

Tia became annoyed "Why."

"Just do it! Chad giggled."

The woman shrugged and jogged northward. Tia’s eyes rolled when she found her husband outside a familiar old stadium.

"Happy Anniversary!" Chad cried.


"I bought this stadium for us."

"How long have you been laboring under the delusion that I wanted a dilapidated sporting arena for my anniversary?" Tia shoved Chad lightly.

"I had it renovated… Come inside."

Tia complied, noting that the doors had been adjusted for her stature, which was still just over ten feet tall. She examined the vicinity. Everything had repaired and painted meticulously. "Nice. I admit. I like it." Tia smiled.

"The best part is in here." Chad led Tia by the hand through an imposing pair of doors.

"Wait until you see the upgrades I’ve infitted.

Tia canvassed the interior of the coloseum with her view, but nothing seemed unusual until Chad produced a remote control.

"Stand Back." He cautioned and puched the button.

Rows of seats retracted into the wall. The longitudinal halves of the floor below parted, revealing a lower stratum obviously crafted for a different purpose.

"I love it!" Tia squealed ecstatically and bounced on the bottom of the stadium. The lower floor was upholstered to resemble a matress the size of at least two football fields. On top of the crisply pressed sheets, A tiny diamond glittered.

"I hope you still have that fantasy… The largest living animal is the whale, and this could hold several of them. Aiieee!" Chad shrieked as Tia started rubbing his thighs.

"It’s splendid! This is the kindest and sexiest thing anything has ever done for me." Tia shouted, body beginning to expand from Chad’s ability.

"I’d do anything to pleasure you…" Chad hugged her until she picked him up with a finger.

"And serve you will, you little slave!" Tia said, straddling her man for what might have been the millionth time.

The maternal role was more difficult than the uxorial one. Chad’s son was rapidly hers. He even changed his last name to Juno, if not partially because he wanted to be called TJ. As he grew, none of their friends believed that he was not Tia’s biological son. One night Chad confronted Tia about this.

"Are you modifying my son to resemble you?"

Tia squirmed. "Maybe… a little…"


A cataract of tears flowed from those profound blue eyes that Chad admired so much. "I know he’s not really mine, but I want him…"

Chad touched Tia’s arm. "Why don’t you make yourself a zygote?"

"It doesn’t work that way. Don’t you think I tried that? I kept losing them for some reason."

"Oh, honey!" Chad hugged his lover. "I never knew you felt so strongly about it."

"I do." Tia sniffled. "Besides, I never knew Clarice very well, but I believed that she loved her children deeply."

"That’s true."

"I don’t think she’d be offended if she knows that her son has a mother who loves him."

Chad slammed a fist onto the coffee table and winced. "I know that… But I feel like you’re disgracing her, and she doesn’t deserve that."

Very few things upset Tia, but Chad was verging on one of them. "For the past six years, I’ve given my love, my undying affection, my money, and almost my whole life to you and your children. I’ve rarely asked for more than a smile in return, but I want a son, dammit!"

Tia rased her fist and slammed the coffee table in imitation of Chad. It splintered into a hundred pieces. She felt an instant of fear from him, and took a breath. Mollified, she spoke again, cuddling up to Chad, "I think Teddy remembers his mother on some level. Besides, if you want to see your wife’s face, look at Meredith. She’ll always be yours."

Meredith Butler never showed the affection to Tia that her brother and father did, but she secretly realized that if the situation demanded, she would die for her. Perhaps she was thinking about that, on the eve of her eighteenth birthday, when she stepped up to the podium, adjusted her mortar board, and tapped the microphone.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, as valedictorian of this year’s class, I will be brief. We have our personal trains of memories flowing behind us, and they are what will reamain after the yearbooks deteriorate. All I wish to say, is that I sincerely thank the faculty and staff of my high school for making the experience tolerable at worst. I’d like to specifically thank Coach Andy, the girls on the team, and the school counselor, who never lacked time to help a student cram one more class into her itenerary."

Meredith’s smile grew even more, pressing incipent tears from her eyes. "Above all, I want to thank my parents, who served as a paradigm of love and diligence. On behalf of the team, I thank you for the stadium, Dad! I also thank you Tia! Without your support, I never would have gotten so far." Meredith waved at the titaness in the audience with a small, mysterious wink.

She concluded her speech as quickly as she had began. As she passed the saultatorian, she smiled at the girl and stood on her toes. She bent down, and kissed her for half a minute, before Meredith took her seat.

After the commencement was over, Meredith’s family walked back to their Super sized SUV, spacious enough to hold Tia, Chad and the children. On the parking lot, Tia posed a fanged question.

"So, where should we go to celebrate, Miss Valedictorian?"

After a second, she nswered. "Red’s Steakhouse!"

Ted snapped, "You know that everything on the menu has meat there."

Meredith grunted. "We can go to one of your weirdo veagan places when you’ve earned a full ride scholarship to Harvard!"

"I don’t care if you’re elected president, eating meat is supporting a number of ecologically unsafe practices."

"But I have This!" Meredith tapped her mortarboard.

"Not anymore, Shorty!" Ted swooped down and plucked it off her head.

"That’s not fair because you’re six foot seven!"

Ted ran with the cap, until Meredith tackled him. Ted stood up and hid behind Tia. "Mom! She dislocated my arm again!"

Tia restrained Meredith with a hand on her forehead while readjusting Ted’s arm. Tired of the bickering, Tia separated the two. "Ted, in a week or two, Meredith will be off to college, and you won’t get to see her for a long time. Just order a salad, and be happy for her."

"Yes, mother." Ted hung his head.