The Noctivigant Nurse

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    The hospital clocks turned to midnight, and all was still in the burn ward. Wrapped in slumber, none of the patients sensed the saturnine footfalls that reverberated through the tiles. No one heard the creak of a door at the end of a hall, and not even the security cameras caught the titanic creature who slipped soundlessly to the bedside of a scalded man, softly placed a hand on a disfigured arm, and then disappeared after stroking his handsome face.

    Ten hours later, a dermatologist burst into the break room, face alight with glee. "Something remarkable has happened! The patient in room 204 has made a complete recovery with no ostensible ill effects."

    "Ostensible?" An orderly asked.

    "Well, the subject seems to have undergone an unusual degree of atrophy for a specimen of his age, symptomatology and confinement time, but it’s nothing that rehabilitation can’t remedy. I’ll show you."

    The dermatologist led a flock of general practitioners into the room where the patient in question was sitting up and eating a bowl of oatmeal. The doctors looked at him and looked quizzically amongst themselves.

    The doctor assigned to his case spoke. "Yesterday this man was in a body cast with seventy percent of his skin covered with third degree burns.


    "Wait until The Lancet hears of this!"

    "We have to test him, now!"

    Without a moment more to finish his breakfast, the young man was whisked thrugh the laboratories and subjected to an intricate battery of tests. At the end of the day, he was returned to his room. A nurse was sent to explain his test results.

    "The cause of your spontaneous recovery could not be determined. However, your metabolic processes are functioning normally. For all practical concerns, you are in perfect health." The statuesque nurse bent forward to inspect the man.

    He frowned. "My muscles… What’s wrong with my muscles?"

    The nurse made a dismissive gesture. "Each striated muscle fiber has lost 5% percent of its diameter, but none of them have acutally become irreprable. A couple of months of weight training should return it to normal."

    His eyes flashed, almost in accusuation. "How do you know this…. Tia?" he inquired, reading the small brass placard practically thrust in his face by her clevage.

    " No known iatrotechnology could determine this in less than a day."

    Tia blinked her lucid blue eyes three times and answered rapidly. "Nothing known by you, perhaps. I’d explain it to you, but it’s a trade secret."

    She immediately assumed a softer countenance. "Now, we can check you out today if you want. We’ll need to check some data from you."

    "Sure, what do you want?" He asked eagerly.


    "Albert Greenstone."


    "Twenty four"

    Tia nodded quickly, stifling a smile. "Occupation"


    "Hmm… Marital status."

    "Unmarried" If Albert had been looking, he would have noticed that Tia’s pupils had exploded at that moment.

    "So, is there anyone else we could call in case we had to contact you, like say, a parent or a significant other."

    "Well, there’s Bruce. He’s my boyfriend." Albert uttered nonchalantly.

    "Okay.. We’ll need your number and your insurance data et cetera…" Tia said, looking away abruptly.

    Albert complied, noting the sudden shift of tone but saying nothing. He was in outpatient status as fast as Tia could shunt him.

    Later, the nurse tersely sipped green tea in the breakroom. A tawny haired male nurse watched a television in the other side of the room. Both looked up as the head nurse entered. The head nurse was a tall middle aged woman whose jaw seemed perpetually clenched.

    She approached Tia, and eked out a smile. "You’re employee of the month, again."

    The male nurse protested. "Again! She’s only been working one season and she accumulates all these rewards."

    The head nurse sighed. "Chad, you’re an excellent worker and the ideal model of professionalism, but Tia has a lower percentage of errors, far longer shifts, and more patient recommendations than you. Sorry about that."

    "She just looks better because all of her patients recover quickly!" Chad snarled.

    The head nurse sighed and handed Tia an envelope. She opened it and muttered as she read. "You have won first prize… been invited to compete in the … bodybuilding… Internationals." She hugged Chad and the head nurse. "I won!"

    Chad threw up his hands. "You aren’t human! You never tire, you spend at least twenty hours a day on the job, and yet you still have time to get bigger every time I see you! What’s going on here?"

    Tia grinned and pushed her face close to Chad’s and flexed. Vast muscles billowed under the form obscuring white nurse’s garb. "Am I getting bigger, or are you getting smaller." She giggled and bounced off to the oncology ward.

    As the head nurse left the room, pleased with her ward’s enthusiasm, Chad stared impassively. Something in unusual about this woman. I’m certain.


    A very nice start, so when do we get to see more?


    I hope there’s more to come because it’s a very good beginning. I’ll wait eagerly.


    Chad glanced upward at the clock, and rushed to log out of the personnel computer system. He dashed to his car, almost falling while attempting to enter. He travelled to his destination with maximal velocity, but was deterred by a couple of road hazards.

    Outside the park, the man winced as he heard the clarion shout.

    "Play Ball!"

    Chad expeditiously found a seat as a homerun was just completed. Seeing the achiever of this feat made him sigh. Nine innings later, the nurse stepped onto the field.

    "Dad!" a smallish sandy-haired boy with a scraped and smudged face shouted as he pounced on the white coated man. With a sullen smile, Chad hugged his son.

    "Hi, Teddy." He reached down and rustled his hair. "Where’s your sister?"

    "In the bathroom." Teddy pointed.

    A deeply tanned girl with green eyes and chestnut hair emerged from the bathroom door. She looked a couple years older than Teddy.

    "Hello Meredith." Chad embraced his daughter too, but he only felt her bristle in his arms.

    "Father…" She mumbled.

    Teddy interjected. "Dad! Did you see me hit that homerun?"

    "Umm… yeah, I did." Chad exaggerated.

    Meredith’s eyes flashed. "You didn’t hear me sing! Just once I’d like you to hear an entire song."

    Chad was undaunted. "I’m sorry, but I was delayed. You can sing it for me this evening"

    Meredith looked apoplectic. "You are always delayed. It’s always car trouble this or overtime that! Don’t you care about us?" She scowled daggers at her father.

    Chad’s gaze grew leaden. He whispered, "Next time you question my paternal devotion, remember my job, which I perform so that you and your brother have access to amenities like baseball games. Although you might think it is the most important thing in the world that I come to these things, my most recent client, a mother of three, whose children were mutilated by a drunk driver and required five consecutive hours of surgery would have a slightly different set of priorities!

    The little girl stepped back, attempting to stifle a quiver. The nurse realized he was barking and softened his countenance. "I didn’t mean to shout. I’m sorry."

    Chad turned to both his children, "In two weeks, I have a vacation. During that day, we can do anything you want."

    Teddy’s response was immediate. "I wanna go to sports!"

    Meredith’s nostrils flared. "We always go to sporting events, you little Philistine! We should pay more attention to the rich metropolitan zeitgeist of the arts. Besides, he still owes me for that feminist rally he missed."

    Teddy interjected. "Bor-ring!"

    Chad realized that this would a precursor to a physical skirmish if he didn’t intervene rapidly. He grabbed both children by the trapezius and separated them. "Arts… sports.. feminism, What if we did them all at once?"

    Both children froze and looked in anticipation.

    Chad’s mind canvassed itself for an idea.

    "Female bodybuilding… There’s an international contest on that day!" He muttered, taken aback by his own epiphany.

    "Huh?" Teddy scratched his head

    Chad crouched down to be on eye level with his son. "Bodybuilding is great. It’s a type of competitive sport in which the athletes hypertrophy their musculature and see who has the best physique."

    "Cool!" Teddy’s eyes glazed with enthusiasm.

    Meredith rolled her eyes. "How resplendent, another muscle fest!"

    Chad stood and responded. "But it’s also an art! Competitors are judged on their posture, their symmetry, their training. Furthermore, bodybuilding is a salient plateau of feminism…" Chad digressed. He could tell that the deal was nearly consummate.

    "Excuse me?"

    "Of course female bodybuilding is a manifestation of feminism!" It… features women who continuously strive to hone their personal standards of excellence. Their bodies attest to the realities of a pluralistic standard of beauty."

    Meredith smiled. Placation was complete.

    "Now get in the car, both of you. It’s time for dinner."

    As his offspring climbed into the car and began to disagree about what the family should have for dinner, Chad grinned at himself in his rear view mirror before entering.

    King Solomon, eat your heart out.


    I’d want Tia to be my nurse.

    Wow she’s a real pistol that one.

    Thank you for the syllable saturated storyline ūüėČ

    It’s nice to see the english language being allowed to flex its muscles in the constraining, though less so every minute, FMG genre.

    Can’t wait to read the next portion and to abuse an online dictionary or two.

    Great work Axel3.14


    The next day, Tia had barely exited the locker room when a doctor hastened to her side. She looked down at him with concern. "Is something wrong, Doctor Kaldwell?"

    He nodded and inhaled sedulously. "There’s a teenage girl in room 121 who’s causing quite a stir. I think you might be able to calm her."

    Tia sighed. "I’ll do what I can, what’s wrong with her?"

    The doctor looked perplexed. "She was fine, until I began her physical, whereupon she became agitated and knocked over the scale. I think she’s sensitive about her height."

    Tia gave her colleague a dubious look, but nodded. "And you need my help because I’m a tall woman myself?"

    The doctor readjusted his glasses. "Well- that, and the fact that patients seem calmer around you."

    The nurse ran a hand through her brilliant hair with an extensive sweeping gesture. "Come on, I’ll conduct the physical."

    In room 121 sat a young female. As described beforehand, she stood about six foot seven in a corner, an overturned scale at her feet. The nurse slipped into the room.

    "Hi there."

    The addressee raised her ponderous head, revealing a visage predominated by puffy, vascular eyes.

    Tia skimmed the file. "So, Alison, you seem to be upset by something."

    The girl nodded her head slowly.

    This prompted the nurse to step closer to her and place a cautious hand on her shoulder. "Would you care to expand on that?"

    A frown from the patient led Tia to believe that she had made a very poor choice of wording, but the adolescent spoke anyway.

    "That skinny little man… looking at me like that."

    "Dr. Kaldwell? Did he do or say something that conveyed contempt?"

    "Umm… I don’t like him at all," she grumbled

    "He won’t be doing your physical today. I will. Now, hon, it is imperative that you remove your shirt for this, when you’re ready." Tia smiled as Allison’s muscles eventually slackened.

    Allison reluctantly stripped off her thick woolen sweater, revealing a consitution with prolific curves.

    "Alright.. Stand against that wall, and I’ll check your spine for scoliosis." Tia instructed.

    The physical went uneventfully afterwards until the last test. "Now, please lie on your back."

    After the patient obediently supinated herself, Tia reached over to prod her abdomen, but Allison bristled and retreated.

    A flash of insight crossed Tia’s face. "You’re very senistive about your abdomen, aren’t you?"

    Allison did not vocalize, but Tia knew the answer was affirmative. She continued. "You gained a large amount of weight quickly, didn’t you?"

    This caused Allison to blink. "How did you know?"

    "Plenty of girls gain a substantial amount of fat in their adolescent years. Sometimes men forget that. I assure you, that all the results of this test attest that your are healthy."

    Allison raised her eyebrow. "What about the spare tire test!" She snapped.

    Tia looked on, undaunted. "Your BMI is about 25, that’s a tad large, but you are only thirteen, so your body is still in flux. Continue excercising and eating properly, and you will probably be fine. Now, I’m going to have to check your organs."

    Allison complacently flopped over. Tia methodically ran her fingers around her appendix before digressing to the mainstays of the digestive system. Noticing the patient still looked uncomfortable Tia began to speak. "You know, many cultures regard a larger woman as a beau ideal."

    "No way."

    "I am not kidding. My mother was Mexican, and when I went to visit her, guys shouted at me everywhere."

    "Because you’re buff and stacked."

    "Trust me, many men appreciate pears as well as apples, although they may not say it."

    Tia patted the suface of Allison’s belly one more time, ensuring the organs were in their proper order. "You’re in excellent condition, and I doubt you’re as fat as you think you are." She smiled. The nurse bent down to pick up the file, but she was interrupted by a loud snap and an excruciating pain from beneath her uniform.


    "Are you okay?"

    Tia laughed, "Yeah."

    Alison stood and smiled solemly. "Thank you, Ms. Juno"

    Tia beamed. "This is my job."

    The teenager slid into her sweater, and fiddled with it curiously. Eventually, she departed with a smile.

    After verifying that she was the room’s only occupant, Tia produced a bottle of white-out from her pocket and edited the numbers. "Subtract fifteen Kilograms here. Add a centimeter here. Body fat percentage down by two.. and… perfect." She mumbled.

    Once the ordeal with the insecure teenager was resolved, Tia met Dr. Kaldwell in the hall. He looked up from a stack of papers. "Did you square away that girl?"

    "Yes I did." Tia suddenly feigned irritation. "And you had better measure your patients more carefully in the future. That girl was upset because she thought she was enormous!"

    "Ahem… Her adiposity was quite disturbing." The doctor responded rapidly.

    "Much of that was muscle…" Tia rolled her eyes and gave him the file.

    With a furtive grin the nurse continued her routine duties. She picked up a memo from the fax machine and brought it to the desk of its proper recipient. Turning from that desk, she happened to see Chad’s disorganized station. On the desktop, Tia noted three colorful tickets and an abandoned PC amidst the morass of strewn documents and lab reports.

    "Interesting…" She grinned.

    A few minutes Later, Chad was examining the contents of a safety hood when a pythonian grip from behind startled him.

    "Hey You! How’s research."

    "Good morning Miss Juno." Chad reached over to pat Tia on the head. "The dietetics division has been awarded a grant."

    "Why dietetics?"

    "Well, this hospital has a ninety eight percent success rate with oncology, diabetology, and bariatrics, and the developers of the Theta nine macrobiotic regimen are taking credit for it, but I’ve yet to isolate any nutrient interaction that would account for this success rate."

    "That’s interesting, but I discovered something much more noteworthy today."

    "What are you talking about?"

    "How long have we been friends, Chad?"

    Chad paused to recall. "Two years and three days, I believe."

    Tia frowned. "I saved you from that car two years and a month ago, remember?"

    "Far be it from me to rebuke a woman who can lift a car over her head… What of it?"

    Tia continued slyly. "You know you can tell me anything, don’t you?"

    "I trust you." Chad said.

    Tia dropped him, and revealed the tickets to the bodybuilding competition. "Why didn’t you tell me about your love of muscle babes?" Tia yelled, in mock-fury.

    "You never asked…" Chad replied cooly.

    "You’ve been storing hotties on your screensaver, while I’ve been looking all over the place for a cute man who isn’t frightened of them. Meanwhile you talk of being lonlely for someone and you didn’t even consider me You owe me at least one dinner!"

    Chad stroked Tia’s cheek and sighed futilely. "You know we shouldn’t date our co-workers…"

    Tia grinned devilishly and lifted Chad again. "Then I’ll have to coerce you… Have dinner with me or— I’lll— Carry you to a location ten miles from here and put you down and make you walk back to work.

    Chad shrugged. "Your cogency is impermeable."

    With a giggle, Tia placed Chad on his feet and left. "I knew you were smart enough to choose right." Then she was gone.

    Tearing slightly, the manhandled man mused wistfully. "So beautiful… so flamboyant… Teddy would certainly like her.


    That night, Chad stared at the dancing flame on the candle until a wall of scarlet silk captured his attention.

    "Good Evening, Monsier." Tia grinned and sat.

    Chad smiled involuntarily before frowning.

    "What’s wrong?"

    "I feel a trifle underdressed." Chad uttered, the redness of his face accentuated by the moonlight.

    "You look delectible." Tia chuckled as she adjusted his rustled collar.

    The waiter arrived promptly. "Good evening, I’ll be your waiter tonight. Our specials tonight are king crab, swordfish piccata, and fettuccine alfredo. Would you like to order now, or would you like some time to decide?"

    "I know what I want!" Tia spoke. "The special!"

    "Which one, madame?"

    "I’m a madamoiselle, and I want all the specials!" Tia smiled.

    The waiter blinked and scribbled on a notepad. "Certainly! And you, sir?"

    Chad glanced at the menu and pondered. "I’ll just have… the tilapia."

    The waiter continued. "Can I get you anything to drink?

    "I’ll have a glass of milk."

    "Ummm.hmmm. And for you?"

    "I’ll just have water."

    "Very Well."

    The waiter dissappeared.

    Tia and Chad talked about various matters until the dinner came.

    Chad looked down at his tilapia, pretending not to watch Tia devour the mountain of seafood before her, but his small plate of fish could only last so long. His eyes hovered at the ridge of her decolletage. He extended a finger towards the underside of Tia’s cleavage, but she slapped it aside gently.

    "Don’t feel up my breasts in public!" She grumbled.

    "No no! You have a noodle on your shirt.

    "Thank you." Tia reached down, plucked the errant strand of pasta off her dress, and slurped it, seemingly unaware of the surrounding people who beared disdainful expressions at such behavior.

    "I’m surprised you are eating alfredo cheese when you’re about to enter a bodybuilding exhibition…" Chad said.

    Tia flexed her profound arms. Chad could have sworn that her triceps neared the size of his head. "I need plenty of energy and protein to maintain muscles like this."

    As Tia licked the last few smears of alfredo from her plate, the band began an upbeat pattern of brass clashing and drum pounding. The nurse leapt out of her seat immediately. "Hey Chad, Wanna dance?"

    The man lacked time to say yes before he found himself oscillating across the floor. Tia clutched his face blithely against her voluminous endowments, an undualating ocean of softness that ebbed and swelled with each boundless, diaphragmatic breath. Running his hands up and down her latissimus dorsi muscles, Chad felt disoriented from the vertigo and affect. His partner giggled as he examined her abdominal musculature. The tall woman proceeded to dip him, but the disparity between their heights caused her to overextend.

    RIP! The elegant dress was riven, silken tatters fluttering to the floor.

    Every eye in the room was fixated on her. The titaness changed countenance. Chad felt her skin grow clammy as it blanched. He blinked, and she became an unfurling banner of tresses, rushing from the door like a retreating Roman vexilum.

    As he picked up the shreds of a once magnificent evening gown, he pondered the transpiration. Why did this delightfully gauche woman abandon her insocuiance so abruptly. Suddenly the answer arose from the shimmering rags in his hands.

    "That woman. She wasn’t wearing a bra…" he mumbled, utterly dumbfounded.


    Tee hee! Very nice! Love to see what happens next!


    The next day, Chad sat at home, pondering the scrap of cloth in his hands. He peered at the fibers, then suddenly wrenched the shred in opposite directions, applying all the strength in his tenuous grip. He managed to rip the cloth slightly, but he knew it had no unusual durability.

    "Breasts that large should rationally need support! Something rather subtle is at work here…" Chad muttered.

    At that moment, Meredith walked into the room. She descryed the silken rag on her fathers lap. Her glare impaled him.

    "Hi Daddy, where did you go tonight?"

    "I was at school."

    "Was she a muscular one?" scowled Meredith, the cords of her neck thickening.

    Chad sighed ecstatically, Remembering Tia. "Indeed!" He backpedaled "How did you-??"

    Meredith tacitly seized the silk, threw it in Chad’s face, and stormed out of the house.

    Chad sprung to his feet. "Honey, wait!"

    But then a mop of disheveled hair ran into the room. Beneath it was Chad’s son. "Dad! Play video games with me!"

    "Okay…" He yawned and sat in front of the television set. They began to play.

    Teddy pulled out suddenly in front of his father’s car. "What’s wrong with Meredith?"

    Chad shrugged as he grazed the outer edge of the track, causing him to lose more position. "I don’t know anymore."

    Teddy lapped his father for the second time when he asked. "Is she always going to be this moody?"

    "I doubt it. Girls her age exhibit notorious volitility in their moods. Some never seem to grow out of it completely." Chad sniffled, and slammed his digital vehicle into a wall.

    "You’re playing awful today!"

    "Perhaps the inexorable senectitude is descending already!" the young man laughed. His laughter wilted slightly at the end, but Teddy kept playing the video game untrammeled. This ensued until a strident tone issued from Chad’s waist.

    "Do you have to go again?" Teddy pouted.

    "Yes, It’s an emergency." Chad rolled his eyes.

    "You’re always leaving in the middle of things. Can we at least do stuff after you come back?"

    The nurse sighed. "After it’s over, I have to go to night class.

    -But if you promise to be good, I can let you go with me…" Chad reversed in mid sentence.

    "Yay!" Teddy jumped up and down and clapped until Chad grasped his shoulder.

    "You can only do this if you promise to be on your best behavior. Only mature people are allowed at our destinations."

    "I promise! I promise! Let’s go!" Teddy charged to the car.

    At the hospital, Chad was outside the locker room when a doctor accosted him. "You can’t bring a child into the operating room!"

    Chad was mollified. "I was hoping he could watch the operation from the balcony for a while. He has a considerable amount of restraint…."

    "Preposterous! That child must be supervised by someone."

    "Pardon me, boys, but I can watch him." A mellifluous voice behind and above the men resonated.

    "Auntie Tia!" Teddy cried. He ran up and embraced the woman’s leg.

    "Hello Teddy, Youve gotten so big since I saw you last." Tia smiled sweetly and ran a couple fingers through the boy’s hair.

    "And you’re freaking huge!" The child took a moment to assimilate the statue and demeanor of the gigantic woman, causing her to laugh lightly.

    Chad was dumbfounded. "I could never… You’ve just worked twelve consecutive hours… you..errr"

    "Relax! I can supervise him."

    "Thank you Miss Juno." The doctor interceded.

    "Your father is going to help operate on a patient, and you can watch!"

    "Cool! But don’t I have to stay out of the OR?"

    "Yes, but we can watch in the theater from a front row seat! What do you say..?" Tia looked to Chad. The man stared into her eyes. For an instant his jaw clenched at the idea.

    "Knock yourselves out." He smiled.

    "Come on Teddy, I’m going to make some popcorn."

    The titaness hulked gracefully into the breakroom, Teddy balanced comfortably on her shoulder.


    Teddy watched his father from the balcony that was Tia's lap.  "What's daddy doing?"

        "He's assisting the doctors with a coronary bypass."

       "What's that?"

        "This patient suffered a myocardial infarction, so they're rearranging his vessels so his heart can work properly."


        "What is it?"

       "You are real smart, aren't you?"

       Tia laughed.  "I graduated summa cum laude from my college.  How's that?"

       "If you are so smart, why aren't you a doctor?"

       Tia inhaled.  "Professions aren't distributed solely on ability.  I would like to be a doctor, but I don't have the money for a Phd."

       Teddy shrugged.  "How much does a Pee Atch Dee cost?"

        Tia sighed.  "Millions!"  She threw up her arms in despair, causing Teddy to emit a peal of laughter.



       "What's that snake thing on your chest?"  He poked at her brooch.

        "That's a cadeuceus.  The snake is a symbol from ancient Greece, and it is worn by those in the medical profession."  

       "Who were the Geeks?"  Teddy bounced up and down on Tia's sinewy thigh.  

        "That's Greeks.  My father came from Greece.  That's a country next to the Mediterranean Ocean.

        Teddy's mouth seemed to suddenly stretch beyond his face as he grinned.

        "What are you so happy about?"  

        "Do you like me?"

         Tia playfully squeezed Teddy and tickled him.  "Of course I do.  We're buddies."

         Between the howls of laughter Teddy uttered.  "No,  Do you like my daddy?"  The boy's face assumed a sobreity behind its youth .

       "I care for him very much."

        Teddy shook his head furiously. "Dad's been depressed lately.  You'll take care of him, won't you?"

        "I'll do my best."

         His face relighted.  "Yay!"  Teddy began to run around the row of seats, but Tia scooped him up in a single tall arc of her arm.

        "You can't do that!  You promised your father that you'd be good.  

        "I'm bored!  Bored Bored Bored Bored bored!"  Teddy began bouncing to punctuate the tedium.

        "Stop that, now!"  Tia's lip twitched in displeasure.  Teddy was immediately obedient.  

       A while later, Chad approached the two figures in the theater seat.  

        "Hi, Chad."  Tia said, not turning around.  

    ¬† ¬† "Hey…" ¬†He responded, noting his somnulent son. ¬†"How did you pacify him?"

       Tia shrugged.  "The boy became so restive that he must have burned himself out."

      Chad furrowed his brow.  "That sounds unusual!"  His visage broke out into a smile reminiscent of Teddy's  "Thank you so much."

        At that moment, Tia gingerly moved Teddy to the chair and took her friend's hand.  "I've heard that you are unhappy."

       Chad's features twisted themselves into a knot as he grumbled.  "He's lying.."

       Tia spoke matter of factly.  "No, you are.  And I have a feeling it's not just about your dead wife either.  Disclose."  Commanded Tia, rubbing Chad's hand.          

    ¬† ¬†The man began to stammer wildly. ¬†"Nothing at all! ¬†positively I only— ¬† love you and want to spend our lives together!" ¬†Their eyes locked.

       Chad broke the gaze, blanched, and covered his mouth.  Tia smiled enigmatically.  "Don't be afraid.  Emotions are extremely powerful forces.  And as far as I know, you are a loving, generous man whom any sane woman should find worthwhile."
        A few welling tears betrayed the male nurse's emotions.  Tia continued, ppressing herself up to his ear.  "But it wouldn't be fair to begin a relationship with you without demonstrating something.  

       Chad's face braced against Tia's "What?"

       "I will not be with a man unless he accepts my totality, including my power."

       Chad chuckled.  "I realize that you can bench press over 500 pounds!"

       A long tan finger carressed his neck.  "No, my other power."


        "Sarcophrenia!"  She whispered emphatically.

        "Is that a disease?  I've never heard of it."

        Tia released a laugh from the depths of her abdomen that reverberated across the room.  Still, it did not rouse Teddy.  "It's nothing that you will find in a nosology text.  Do you still want to know?"  Tia asked rhetorically as she read her friend's face..

    "Alright.  I can show you better than telling you."  Tia carried Chad by two fingers, supporting his son in her other hand.  

    She took them to the lounge, where she lay Teddy on a recliner, locked the door, and began to take her clothes off.

    "What are you doing!"  Chad cried in fear.

      Tia stripped him in a matter of seconds and placed the clothing by the sofa.

       Chad reached down to retireve his sartorial possessions, but Tia grabbed him by the throat.  He tried to scream, but he felt his scream leached away by a mysterious force.

        When his cognizance returned, he realized his body had been likewise tampered with.  Chad, now the size of a G I Joe figurine, sat in a sea of chest.  Even Tia seemed fazed by her own poitrene, which had preternaturally gained two hundred kilograms.  At that point, Chad realized that all the organic material had been extricated from the couch as well, leaving a pile of foam and springs in the corner.

       "Now that you are comfortable,"  whispered the mountainous face of Tia, "Allow me to explain my ability."

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