The Noctivigant Nurse


Teddy watched his father from the balcony that was Tia's lap.  "What's daddy doing?"

    "He's assisting the doctors with a coronary bypass."

   "What's that?"

    "This patient suffered a myocardial infarction, so they're rearranging his vessels so his heart can work properly."


    "What is it?"

   "You are real smart, aren't you?"

   Tia laughed.  "I graduated summa cum laude from my college.  How's that?"

   "If you are so smart, why aren't you a doctor?"

   Tia inhaled.  "Professions aren't distributed solely on ability.  I would like to be a doctor, but I don't have the money for a Phd."

   Teddy shrugged.  "How much does a Pee Atch Dee cost?"

    Tia sighed.  "Millions!"  She threw up her arms in despair, causing Teddy to emit a peal of laughter.



   "What's that snake thing on your chest?"  He poked at her brooch.

    "That's a cadeuceus.  The snake is a symbol from ancient Greece, and it is worn by those in the medical profession."  

   "Who were the Geeks?"  Teddy bounced up and down on Tia's sinewy thigh.  

    "That's Greeks.  My father came from Greece.  That's a country next to the Mediterranean Ocean.

    Teddy's mouth seemed to suddenly stretch beyond his face as he grinned.

    "What are you so happy about?"  

    "Do you like me?"

     Tia playfully squeezed Teddy and tickled him.  "Of course I do.  We're buddies."

     Between the howls of laughter Teddy uttered.  "No,  Do you like my daddy?"  The boy's face assumed a sobreity behind its youth .

   "I care for him very much."

    Teddy shook his head furiously. "Dad's been depressed lately.  You'll take care of him, won't you?"

    "I'll do my best."

     His face relighted.  "Yay!"  Teddy began to run around the row of seats, but Tia scooped him up in a single tall arc of her arm.

    "You can't do that!  You promised your father that you'd be good.  

    "I'm bored!  Bored Bored Bored Bored bored!"  Teddy began bouncing to punctuate the tedium.

    "Stop that, now!"  Tia's lip twitched in displeasure.  Teddy was immediately obedient.  

   A while later, Chad approached the two figures in the theater seat.  

    "Hi, Chad."  Tia said, not turning around.  

    "Hey…"  He responded, noting his somnulent son.  "How did you pacify him?"

   Tia shrugged.  "The boy became so restive that he must have burned himself out."

  Chad furrowed his brow.  "That sounds unusual!"  His visage broke out into a smile reminiscent of Teddy's  "Thank you so much."

    At that moment, Tia gingerly moved Teddy to the chair and took her friend's hand.  "I've heard that you are unhappy."

   Chad's features twisted themselves into a knot as he grumbled.  "He's lying.."

   Tia spoke matter of factly.  "No, you are.  And I have a feeling it's not just about your dead wife either.  Disclose."  Commanded Tia, rubbing Chad's hand.          

   The man began to stammer wildly.  "Nothing at all!  positively I only—   love you and want to spend our lives together!"  Their eyes locked.

   Chad broke the gaze, blanched, and covered his mouth.  Tia smiled enigmatically.  "Don't be afraid.  Emotions are extremely powerful forces.  And as far as I know, you are a loving, generous man whom any sane woman should find worthwhile."
    A few welling tears betrayed the male nurse's emotions.  Tia continued, ppressing herself up to his ear.  "But it wouldn't be fair to begin a relationship with you without demonstrating something.  

   Chad's face braced against Tia's "What?"

   "I will not be with a man unless he accepts my totality, including my power."

   Chad chuckled.  "I realize that you can bench press over 500 pounds!"

   A long tan finger carressed his neck.  "No, my other power."


    "Sarcophrenia!"  She whispered emphatically.

    "Is that a disease?  I've never heard of it."

    Tia released a laugh from the depths of her abdomen that reverberated across the room.  Still, it did not rouse Teddy.  "It's nothing that you will find in a nosology text.  Do you still want to know?"  Tia asked rhetorically as she read her friend's face..

"Alright.  I can show you better than telling you."  Tia carried Chad by two fingers, supporting his son in her other hand.  

She took them to the lounge, where she lay Teddy on a recliner, locked the door, and began to take her clothes off.

"What are you doing!"  Chad cried in fear.

  Tia stripped him in a matter of seconds and placed the clothing by the sofa.

   Chad reached down to retireve his sartorial possessions, but Tia grabbed him by the throat.  He tried to scream, but he felt his scream leached away by a mysterious force.

    When his cognizance returned, he realized his body had been likewise tampered with.  Chad, now the size of a G I Joe figurine, sat in a sea of chest.  Even Tia seemed fazed by her own poitrene, which had preternaturally gained two hundred kilograms.  At that point, Chad realized that all the organic material had been extricated from the couch as well, leaving a pile of foam and springs in the corner.

   "Now that you are comfortable,"  whispered the mountainous face of Tia, "Allow me to explain my ability."