[JimmyDimples]

To the tune of "Complicated" by Avril Lavigne

You were — goin’ to Boone’s Gym

I said — "You’re already slim,

You’re so — slender now, which I adore

You should eat more!"

You kept — going all the time

I just — put it out of mind

Then thought — one day I’d just drop on by

But oh my!

I then flipped my wig!

You’d gotten so big!

At seven feet tall

And broad as a wall

So grandoisely ripped

With a bust that’s triple E…

Tell me

How’d your bod get so muscular and elongated?!

It’s like someone put balloons in your limbs and chest and inflated!

You’re enormous…

Biceps like basketballs, you’re so buff

I don’t think that the weights ’round here are enough, now

At least I can tell by your smile that you’re elated…

Oh, oh, oh…

You then — gave me such a hug

Nearly — crushed me like a bug

You said — "Let’s go skate this afternoon

I’ll be done soon!"

You went — to the Turkish bath

My brain — quickly did the math

No way — that girl could’ve grown so vast

So freakin’ fast!

Then in the next room

I saw Mr. Boone

And ‘leven more guys

In shriveled-up size

Asked "What happened, sir?

You once weighed two-thirty-three…"

He said,

"Your girl stole our muscle and left us prostrated!

She just grabbed our wrists, then expanded and we deflated!

This just sucks now

Listen up, you’d best take my advice

If you hang around her, gonna pay the price, man

She’ll pro’lly drain you too if you haven’t evacuated!

Go, go, go… "

You came — back to get a towel

I flashed — you a real mean scowl

"How could — you do this to those poor men?"

You said then:

"Those obnoxious fools

Were big sexist tools

I evened the score

But I could use more."

Said I, "Hold on, dear,

There’s no one else here… but me…

OH NO!

Get away from me! I don’t wanna be emanciated!

I wanna keep my muscle! I don’t want it eradicated!

Where’s my mace spray?!

Cut it out! Let me go! Put me down!

I won’t be your boy toy muscle-draining clown, now!

Snuggling me to your chest won’t make me feel ameliorated!

Oh no!

How could you leave me to be all physically frustrated?!

Being a puny shrimp makes me all exasperated…

Arms like sticks, now

I’m too weak to hold up my guitar

Mark, could you help me over to my car, now?

I think my little parody just got abbreviated…

No, no, no….

[David C. Matthews]

Clever! …although I’m not familiar with the song, so I’m probably not getting the full effect.

"Emanciated"…is that a combination of the words "emaciated" and "emancipated"?

I love the next to last line "I think my little parody just got abbreviated". Reminds me of some of the lyrics from the Buffy the Vampire Slayer musical episode "Once More with Feeling", the song "Walk Through the Fire":

SPIKE: First I’ll save her, then I’ll kill her

WILLOW: I think this line’s mostly filler

[fasola]

and i would love to see the video clip on MTV

very funny and creative jimmy, keep it up

[Matthew Lim]

Although I absolutly HATE Avril Lavign, I think it’s a fun and unique concept. And I have to agree with Fasola, this is definitly something for MTV.

[Axel3.14]

Although I absolutly HATE Avril Lavign, I think it’s a fun and unique concept. And I have to agree with Fasola, this is definitly something for MTV.

Haha…. Avril with strength draining powers… as if men don’t have enough reason to avoid her!

This is a great parody.

[Author]

Posts