First attempt at a story

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    Hi everyone. I've been writing on a story for a while now, so I'll just post the first two pieces. It's just an introduction, but I guess, I'll post more in a day or two:

    The burial

    As the mist on the cemetery slowly turned into a light rain, the heavy oak coffin disappeared into the grave. The winches creaked and shifted as the priest turned around to the other congregated mourners. They stood in grieving fashion, dressed in black and weeping gently. The deceased was no loved one. A cruel man of sharp intellect and utter ignorance of his fellow man’s feeling. Still, these may have been the merits which eventually gave him the enormous fortune that is now to be inherited. Amidst the many prospective beneficiaries of this sad event stand the main heirs, the close family.
    During his long and busy life, Walter C. Carland actually found enough time to become the father of two children, Jacob and Luisa. They were standing here, lost in thoughts and waiting for the ceremony to end. Jacob was tall, slim and athletic, but wore his black suit with a certain disdain. His hair was wet and uncombed, his face was only superficially shaven. He had been late for the funeral, having been held up at the airport due to a terrorist threat. His mourning felt to be genuine, but he seemed unhappy with the priest’s words.
    Luisa stood on the opposite side of the grave. Her lithe silhouette against the grey rain. The young surgeon watched the ceremony bitterly, clenching her fists in the folds of her jacket. A deep feeling of disgust showed on her face, and she looked angrily at the woman in their midst.
    The widow, young, blonde, her skirt a little bit too short and her décolleté a slight too deep, stared at her feet. She couldn't suppress a little smile of accomplishment. At last, her hard work would pay off. She would get her share of the money. Finally, her years of sacrifice would make her rich. The priest gave her an odd look, then seemed to realise the meaning of the situation and finished his sermon.
    “Ashes to ashes and dust to dust.”
    The mourners threw little shovel-fulls of earth at the coffin, than returned to their cars. Some lingered to visit graves of their family, but most preferred the warmth of the promised reception later that day.

    The meek shall inherit

    The next day was a marvellous one. The city was submerged in a hopeful bath of bright sunlight, there was not a single shadow on the town square. Overlooking it, in a tall, gothic building opposite the city’s cathedral, a long, thin man turned to his audience. The room was large, and contained all the comforts required for endless debates on money. Indeed, the aura of respect and finesse mingled with the stink of greed and envy. William R. Sonborough, esquire, inspected the contenders. He has been at the funeral yesterday, just like most of the city’s elite and recognised them all. At last, with all the gravity of a cold law professional, he opened the envelope containing Mr. Carland’s will. He launched into his spiel.
    “Ahem. Ladies and gentlemen, it fills me with grief and sadness to witness the last will and testament of Mr. William Reginald Sonborough. By the responsibility invested in me by the state, I will now read his final wishes.” He paused for effect. The audience craned forward. Clearly, their faces showed greed as much as curiosity.
    “I, William Reginald Sonborough, give all my worldly fortune, all my possessions and all of my rights and duties to my son, Jacob, for him to cherish and keep. However, my daughter, Luisa, and my wife, Kim, are to be guaranteed a grave at my side at no cost.”
    The lawyer folded the single sheet of paper, placed it in the envelope and handed Jacob a form to sign. Stone-faced, he complied, jotting his signature down. Immediately he stood up and left the room. The other members of the audience disappeared, murmuring and generally voicing their discontent. Finally, only Luisa and Kim remained in the room, aghast. The lawyer closed his suitcase, then prepared to leave. He looked at Kim with a dry smile, then said:
    “Don’t worry, next time, it will be better.”
    Luisa got up. Her face was contorted by barely suppressed anger.
    “Let’s leave. I need a drink!”

    English is not my native language, so I hope it's OK.


    Pretty good.  I wonder where the FMG will come in.


    Very nice start.  And you write it better than many native English speakers I could think of. 😉


    It looks good, so far. Despite English not being your native language, you write fairly well in it. You actually write better in English than some native speakers that I know. I can't wait to see the rest.


    You've got a really intriguing set-up; I like it a lot. 🙂 Also, your English is just brilliant!


    Next part: Thanks for the kind comments.

    A simple plan

    As the sun went down, the two women were still sitting on the big brown sofa in the Machacari Club. Kim was already quite drunk, Luisa was still angry and very sober.
    “You know what, I hated every single minute of it.” The widow slumped forward a little. “You can't possibly imagine the sacrifice I had to make. To be close to this fleshless, living corpse. And the smell… I mean, did your daddy ever wash himself? I tried to check, but I couldn't find out!”
    “You already told me. And yes, I’m also quite happy that he has passed on. But, as you are surely aware, all your efforts have been in vain.”
    “That's right. How could he have done this to me? I gave him three of my best years. That’s more than most people would give, even without the prospect of money. I need to get a hold on my share.”
    The daughter smiled, wiping her ebon hair from her brow. That’s where she wanted to get to all afternoon.
    “We'll have to check up on Jacob. And yet, I doubt that he will give us our parts. He wouldn't act against father's wishes. Besides, he's stupid, but he's not dumb. I guess we have to make him give us the money. You know what? You could try the same thing that you did on my old man.”
    Kim stared at her, both drunk and dazed.
    “You mean I should seduce him? I thought you hated me. I thought you hated what I did to your father.”
    Luisa gave her a grim look.
    “Well, he's dead, and I think my sympathies have been buried alongside with him. Besides, his will is just about the biggest insult I've ever heard. I think we should do that.”
    “Any idea what he likes? With your father it was easy. He liked tall blondes with big breasts and guess what, I just fit the bill perfectly.”
    “I noticed. We'll just have to check on his stuff. As most men, he'll have his collection of porn on his PC, so we'll find out pretty fast. As I know him, he wouldn't have a password on his system. He's actually of the gullible kind. And you know, he probably has simple tastes, just like his daddy.”

    “There seems to have been a problem in acquiring the assets you promised”, the voice stated in a matter of fact way. “Please attend to the headquarters immediately.” The caller hung up.

    When the going gets weird…

    “He likes that? I can't believe it. Your family is even more messed up than I thought!”
    Kim stared at the laptops screen in open disgust. They were in Jacob's old room at the family mansion. He had moved in there for the time after the funeral, but seemed to be prepared to leave soon. He had business somewhere in the Third World, some kind of investment project. The laptop computer's screen was showing series after series of bodybuilder pictures. Female ones.
    “At least, he doesn't seem to be gay, huh?” Luisa was smiling triumphantly at her stepmother. “You won't need to have a sex-change surgery.”
    Kim still hadn't moved. Slowly, her drunk decision from yesterday was flooding in on her. Once again, she'd do it for the money. It's not as if she wouldn't need it. Her creditors were still closing in on her, occasionally asking about their cash. She guessed that she'd get a few weeks of respite on account of being a widow, but she could see herself back at the little house her parents lived in all their lives. She swallowed.
    “Okay. I guess I'll do it. There's just one question: how can I possibly get it done. I've met one of these women at the gym where I work out, and it must have taken her years to get this kind of shape. Besides, he seems to like big breasts too.”
    Just as Luisa wanted to answer, they both heard the shutting of the door downstairs. With a quick movement, they shut down the computer and left the room. Jacob was just coming up the stairs. They both fell into a casual stance.
    “Hi Jacob. How do you feel?”
    He looked at the women with a certain disdain.
    “Not too well. Besides, I have my packing to do. Something has come up, so I'm leaving tonight. I'll be back in two months and a half. Maybe we can have a talk about the whole situation when I come back.”
    Luisa smiled at Kim.
    “I think we can.”
    He gave them an odd look, than went into his room.


    This is getting good. One question though: When are we going to see some FMG? The set-up is great and gives a good background, but this is torture! 😥

    Okay… well… I might be overreacting a bit. As well as exagerating. And I may be over-extending this response.

    I'm just going to be quiet now… *fades back into the shadows*


    I'll just post more today, I'm getting ahead quite well.


    The next day, Kim slept late. At 1pm, her phone rang.
    “Kim, it’s Luisa. I have wonderful news. Won’t you come and meet me at my place?”
    Kim got up slowly. She had had a drink too many yesterday and her memory was still a little fuzzy on the details. Apparently, Luisa had some friends from the university who were working on some oddball science projects that would be helpful. After this piece of information, Kim had seen her life flash in front of her eyes. She’d thrust a woman who was just as crazy as the rest of her clan with her future. And she’d become a muscle-freak. First, she would need a shower.
    An hour and a half later, she arrived at Luisa’s loft. It was a beautifully renovated 19th century factory, adapted for modern living and housing the daughter’s private office and surgery. She rang. There was laughter inside. Luisa opened the door. She wore a tank-top and some fancy training trousers. Smiling, she bade her in.
    “Have a seat.” She showed her a white leather couch ensemble upon which four people were sitting, enjoying their drinks. She introduced them quickly:
    “This is Diego, he’s a bodybuilding coach and nutritionist. You could have guessed, I think. He even won some kind of trophy.” The huge black-haired man smiled. He seemed to literally burst out of his clothes.
    “These two are Frank and Taehan. They’re the guys from college I told you about.” Two young men, one of them Asian in appearance, grinned at her, apparently aroused by her mere existence.
    “And that’s Helena, my anaesthetist. She’ll help me with your surgeries.” The mousy, brown-haired woman smiled faintly.
    Luisa grinned broadly:
    “Of course. If you want to seduce my brother, you’ll have to look your best. And, wow, does that sound sick! Anyway, what we’re going to do is set up a tight training regime, and our two friends here,” she indicated the two scientists, “will whip up some concoction to help you do all this in two months and a half. I’ll cover the expenses, and we’ll both get half of my daddy’s money.”
    With that, she took another line of cocaine and gave Kim a maniac grin.
    “What are you waiting for? Get going.”
    Frank and Taehan got up, one of them had a sterile needle and drew some blood.
    “We’ll need this to organise your treatment. We’ll be able to reduce side-effects to a minimum. Could you please stand up, so we can get our figures?”
    Kim did as she was told. Finally, Diego got up and asked her if she could start right away. As she nodded, he led her to his car and they were off to his private gym.

    Hard work

    “And three more, two more, one more. Okay, you’re done for today.” Kim sat up from the bench. Diego smiled at her, waiting for her to catch her breath.
    “That was very good. You seem to have quite a lot of stamina for exercising. That will definitely help build quickly. Now, the best will be to take a shower, and then, I’ll give you a massage to ease the tension.”
    Oddly enough, this didn’t sound strange to Kim. Diego was a huge man, with enormous muscles and an apparently larger than life penis which clearly showed through his tight pants. He was also gay, and had a rather marvellous collection of pictures of naked men in his studio.
    After the shower, Kim enjoyed the massage, then went home. Regardless of the warm bath that she actually took afterwards, she still woke up the next day feeling horrible. Every single muscle in her body hurt and felt as if it were burning brightly. She got up, made herself some coffee and turned on the TV. The news anchor just tried to explain the recent terrorist threats. Jacob was definitely out of luck. Once again, his flight had been delayed. After a short glimpse of one of the supposed heads of the organisation, the host turned to his female associate and they smilingly showed the “Animal of the Day”. Actually a cute spitz dog.
    Kim tried to stretch. Just as every single part of her body went “click” and crunched along, the phone rang. She picked it up and quickly found out that Diego was going to pick her up in twenty minutes. She readied herself for training and packed her things.
    Half an hour later, she was once again pumping iron. Diego smiled relentlessly as he pushed her for more repetitions. During their lunch, the doorbell rang. Frank had arrived, carrying a suitcase. He sat down while Kim swallowed her concentrated energy food greedily.
    “Hi there. We’re done and guess what, you’ll thank us!” He opened the suitcase, displaying long rows of pre-filled syringes. They contained a reddish liquid. “This stuff will help you build. It’s specially prepared for your body and allows you to increase your muscle mass. This one,” he indicated the next container “reduces muscle deterioration. And that increases your regeneration. The fourth one prevents masculinisation. You get to keep your beautiful looks, your soft skin, your sweet face and your lovely voice and…” He trailed off.
    Diego looked sceptically at the syringe array:
    “I’m not sure you should use this kind of chemical warfare, you know. I never heard of it, and it doesn’t look very safe.”
    The scientist snapped out of his trance:
    “It’s perfectly safe. We developed it for the military, and it works! At least in animal testing, but you should have seen the chimp we built.”
    Kim and Diego exchanged some worried looks. She asked:
    “So there was no testing on humans?”
    “Of course not! You want cutting edge, you get it. But you know what, we’re going to monitor you as close as possible and if anything is odd, we quit immediately. I tell you, you’ll be perfectly safe, and as far as I can guess, you’ll be able to increase your muscle mass by half in three weeks, given that you train and eat enough.”
    Diego stared at him:
    “In three weeks? That’s biologically impossible.”
    “Well, scientifically it is. Do you want to see a picture of the chimp?”
    “Err… Okay.”
    Frank reached into his jacket’s pocket and pulled out a planner. He flipped through a few pages, than showed them a photo. They stared at it.
    “That’s a gorilla, isn’t it?”
    “It must be.”
    “It’s not. Convinced?”

    The first results will be "visible" tomorrow. Sorry to keep you waiting.


    *groans loudly* Please stop stretching it out! Oh… I'm supposed to be hiding. Sorry.

    *fades back into the shadows*


    gblock :??  gblock :x!  Dammit, where's my I.R. goggles, I don't think low-light will work in there :roll:.

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