[Debido-San]

Love Hina: Muscle House
Kaolla Su's new invention gets a bit out of hand…
By Debido-San
Brigandier0517@yahoo.com

NOTES: Well…this story was never on my original plans! Basically, to just keep myself wanting to write, I'm going to do a short story about the infamous ecchi (softcore) manga, Love Hina! On with it! OOHHH, and I've never done this before, but all characters are copyright of Ken Akamatsu!

Love Hina: Muscle House

It was the beginning of summer for all of Japan…Time to relax…time to Play…time to see whats going on at the Hinata house!

Kaolla Su sat in her deep, jungle (literally…it's a jungle in there…) room at her lab table. It was 2 in the morning, but she had just made a break through…

"Ahh…Goodbye flat chest!" She shouted out to herself as she put a rather big attachment onto her cylinder shaped machine…She then went to the control panel and looked at it…"It's not your ordinary growth ray! That's for amateurs…this is my NATURAL, ACCELERATED GROWTH RAY!" She exclaimed maniacally…"You just step inside, and let it zap ya! Then you'll start to grow in all the right places! And it'll be natural, not some silly enlargement or implants…and everything will act just as they should! Breasts will jiggle normally and freely! And it'll only affect flesh, so no weird bones coming out of you in places you wouldn't expect!" She giggled as she hugged her machine…

"But of course, I, Kaolla Su, should be the test subject!" She said as she leaned on the control panel…unknowingly changing the settings from just "Boobies" to "THE WHOLE ENCHILADA!"…She giggled again and accidentally pressed another two buttons…changing the growth rate from 30x normal cell growth, to "Overnight melons" meaning the changes would take about 6 hours…And changing the growth type from "soft n' Fleshy" to "Buffer than Arnold…way buffer"…The thought behind that was just incase Keitaro wanted to pack on a little bit of muscle onto his scrawny frame…

Su then stepped inside with a goofy smile, the plate on the floor of the machine was weight sensitive, so the minute she stepped inside, the new invention initiated. A white laser seemingly slid down the inside of the cylinder, then back up, like a scanner…then it beeped like a microwave…since she did use a microwave to help build the timer…

"COOOOOL!" She said as she hopped out…then she felt sleepy from all the tedious work…"wha….but I'm sleepy now…good night my new favorite invention…" She said as she stumbled onto her bed….

——————-The Next Morning——————–

Su woke up, and stepped out of her bed, which was eerily groaning, as if from a great weight…"Weird…My bed never creaks." She said as she walked…her feet making a loud, deep thumping sound everytime she took a step…"And I usually only make little clapping noises on the hard floor when I step…" She said to herself as she approached the bathroom…Then she looked into the mirror…

"Oh…my…AHHHHHH!" She screamed as she brought her hands up to quiet herself…which tore her biceps right through her once loose pajamas…What she witnessed in the mirror was amazing…not only was her bosom stretching her silky panda-print pajamas with every breath…but so was the rest of her body! Her arms had already bursted through the sleeves, and her bulging legs were filling every spare space of the pants that they could find…She looked down her huge thighs and stood on her tippy toes…both her thighs and her calves visibly and audibly grew, nearly exploding right out of her pj's…She brought her arms up to flex both of her massive arms…and just with the flex she did on purpose, the sleeves of her silky shirt were blasted right off…her creamy, brown skin showing through with a huge, probably 28" arms…

"Wow…So cool!" She said to herself as she clasped her hands together in front of her, unknowingly tensing up her mighty pectorals that lay behind her breasts…

The pectorals immediately shoved her huge, firm breasts fowards…putting a merciless strain on the top before the buttons popped off…which then led to what was left of her top being ripped through as well…She was now completely topless…and just as cute as ever as she felt on her breasts…"hehe…this is great! Not only do I have some great cleavage going on here…" She began as she did a front chest flex leaning over in front of the mirror…"But some pretty massive muscles!" She thought to herself….

"Hmm…well I'll be late for breakfast…" She said to herself, as her short attention span took her right off of her muscles, and on to her belly…"I hope Shinobu has something good cooking!" She said as she ran right upstairs…her pants barely containing her huge, muscle pulsing legs…her calves bursting with power every step she ran, her Thighs exploding with muscle with every step she took up the quick flight of stairs.

"So Shinobu, what're we eating today?" Su asaked as she entered the kitchen, her now muscular chest rising with every breath she took, jiggling her newly grown breasts…

Shinobu began to turn around with a pan in hand…"Oh, nothing special today, just some scrambled eggs with udon–" She stopped when she finally caught full sight of Su's massively muscled, bronze colored, topless body…"Su!" She blurted out..

"Eh..?" Keitaro, the only man of the house asked himself as he took a sip of his tea and looked up from his Shonen Jump…

PFFFFFFFT!

"WHAA! SU! HOLY CRAP YOUR HUGE!" He spat out his tea and shouted in shock as he cowered behind his arms…this was a reflex reaction by now…he was used to being kicked in the face by Su almost every time he saw her…but this time even the invincible Keitaro Urashima might actually get hurt…

"MORNIN' KEITAROOOOO!" Su shouted as she jumped up, then extended her right leg…kicking Keitaro right in the face…he was blown right through the wall and into the female only hotsprings outside…She landed on the wooden floor, nearly cracking it from her new weight, gained from her extremely muscular frame…"Wooooow…I could never bust Keitaro through a wall before…maybe I'm as strong as Naru now!" She said as she flexed her right arm and looked at it, making "Oooh…" and "Aaaah…" sounds…

Naru smirked as she finished her meal…she didn't bother looking up mostly because things like this were normal…"Well Su, not everybody can knock Keitaro around like me, you'd have to do something really incredible to even come close to–" she cut herself off after looking up…"DAMN SU!" She screamed out as she looked at Su flexing her biceps and admiring them…"YOU'RE BIGGER THAN MR. JAPAN! AND LOOK AT YOUR BOOBS! THEIR EVEN BIGGER THAN MUTSUME'S…CRAP THEIR EVEN BIGGER THAN MUTSUME'S WATERMELONS!" She continued to shout as her long hair was standing on end…Su looked at Naru with a dopey smile…

"Yeah, pretty cool huh! But your right…even though my arms are all big and muscley, and my Legs are about to rip out of my Pajamas, I could never out-knock Naru!" Su said as she took the plate Shinobu prepared for her before and took it to the living room "I'm gonna eat in the living room today!" She said as she walked off…

"She is SO rubbing it in without knowing it…I gotta keep my title of the strongest in the Hinata House!" Naru said as she stood up and went to her room…

"Su…is so big! But was Keitaro aroused by it?" The shy, raven haired Shinobu asked herself as she sat on the floor…Then she remembered how quickly he was launched out of the house…"Well, it was too quick to tell…I will have to see if he is then…and maybe he'll like me then!" She said as she stood up in determination and walked out to the hotsprings…"Keitaro, you ok?" She asked…

"Yeah I'm fine…Wow…Su really got a lot stronger didn't she?" Keitaro asked Shinobu as he got out of the springs and took off his shirt, ringing it out…

"Yeah, she sure did." Shinobu asked as she intently looked at his crotch area…wondering if he would pop a woody…she saw a slight bulge…"wow! Keitaro is into that kind of thing! I will definently go for it!" She thought to herself…

"Huh, whatcha lookin at Shinobu?" Keitaro asked as he notice she was dazed…"Su didn't hurt you did she?"

"Wha! No not at all! I was just thinking about it thats all!" Shinobu blushed as she ran back into the house "Since your fine, I should go and do my homework!" She said as she dissappeared from Keitaro's sight…

"Heh, what a shy girl Shinobu is, even after all this time! Hey wait it's the summer, I didn't know teachers started assigning homework during the summer…Ohh…" Keitaro said as he looked down at his pants…"Some of the water held itself in my private area…" He said as he unzipped quickly, a large splash of water coming out…"That could have been mistaken for arousal if I hadn't watched it…not to mention I would probably nosebleed too…" He said smiling as he re-zipped himself…"Ahh well, nobody saw it so I'm safe until next time I see Su." He said to himself as he walked back into the house…

Motoko Mutsume Shinobu Naru Mitsune(Kitsune)

"Oh, Hey Urashima, you better not peek on me."  Said Motoko, long, black haired samurai girl as she walked to the hotsprings…

"Hey Motoko, and don't worry I wont." Keitaro said sighing as he continued to walk away…"All of these girls think I'm a shameless pervert…gahh…" he said once he was out of Motoko's earshot…

Once Motoko entered the hotsprings…her biggest fear stared her in the face…"f..f..f…FLYING TURTLE! KYAHHH!" She screamed…the Hinata house had a pet turtle by the name of Tamago…Tama for short…and Tama can fly…and not to mention he likes hot springs…

"Nyuuh…" Tama let out as he floated out of the hot spring…then slowly hovered towards Motoko…

"Stay away from me Tama!…If I had my wooden sword I'd smack you back into the springs!" Motoko shouted in fear as she slowly backed away as well…

"Ny…Ny…NYUUH!" Tama squeeled as he flew at max speed for Motoko…

"Dammit!" Motoko screamed in fear as she ran around the house, Tama chasing like there was no tomorrow…"Dammit Dammit Dammit! Gotta find a place to hide!" She said to herself as she spotted the stairs that lead to Su's room and quickly bolted down them, Tama taking a little longer to follow…

"Dammit…a place to hide…" Motoko exclaimed hurriedly…looking around in Su's room for a place to hide…the lights were off…and she figured she could hide behind something so that her body would be out of view…

"There!" she said as she spotted a cylindrical shaped machine, and stepped inside of it…the floor panel lit up and a light probed down and up her body once…"Shh!" She hissed as the machine finally stopped "scanning" her and making noises..

"Nyuh….Nyuhhhhh…." Tama moaned as he looked around, he floated by the cylinder once, and even looked her right in the eyes as he passed, but eventually he gave up and floated away…

"Phew…" Motoko sighed… "Thank goodness for this…thing…" She said as she hopped out of it and carefully went back upstairs to take her bath…

Meanwhile, Mutsume Otohime, a busty, long-brown haired ditz walked in, with three huge watermelons in her hands…"Hey everyone! I got some mel—" She began to say…but the third melon rolled out of her grasp and right down the stairs…"Oh my…" She said with a smile as she put the other watermelons down and chased the stray melon into Su's room…

The watermelon rolled right into the growth machine, and of course Mutsume stepped right inside to pick it up "Wow, these are good melons! This one doesn't have a single dent or bruise!" She said with closed eyes…not even noticing the machine running a white beam up and down her body…and somehow right when it was done doing it's job, she stopped daydreaming about melons and turtles and stepped out of the machine with her melon in hand, climbing back up the stairs…

Just as Mutsume reached the top Shinobu tried to come in, but they bumped into each other, Shinobu getting a face full of cleavage…"Whah!" Shinobu said as she backed off "I'm soooo sorry Mutsume-san…" She said as she blushed…

"It's ok Shinobu don't worry! I should have been looking out anyways!" Mutsume said as she stepped from the stairs "Whatcha goin down there for hmm?" She asked…

Shinobu blushed "Umm…mmm…uhh…I left my homework down there! That's right! Umm…Su was tutoring me so I left it down there!" She said desperately

"OK! well I hope you find it!" Mutsume said, totally clueless, as she walked away.

"Phew…" Shinobu let out as she slowly stepped down into the jungle Su called a room…"I think Keitaro was aroused when he saw Su…I mean…that was blood that I saw splurt out from his face right? And not to mention he had a huge bulge in his pants at the spring…" She asked herself…But since she was caught up in the confusion, she didn't notice it was his tea…

"Alright! I will be just as big as Su!" She said as she stepped in the machine and closed her eyes, the beam hovering up and down her body…"Huh…I thought it would hurt…anyways…" She said as she looked around and dashed up to her room, hoping not to be seen…

To add to coincidences…Just as Shinobu slid her door closed, Naru opened her own, peeking outside…"Su's not gonna steal my title…or Keitaro! I didn't like him before, but he's the spitting image of Seta!Nobody can resist such sexiness!" She said as she stormed downstairs, and just like the others, right into Su's machine….As always, the cylinder skimmed her up and down, and dinged like a microwave…"Hell yeah, just you watch out, I'll definently be the strongest in the house!" she said as she stormed back up to her room…

and yet again, totally coincidental…just as Naru turned the corner to go back to her room, Mitsune, more often known as Kitsune for her often closed eyed, fox-like expression stumbled from the kitchen…just barely not seeing Naru…

"Even for…a gal as beautiful as me…*hic*…Sake is my only friend!" Kitsune mumbled loudly as she stumbled on her own drunken feet and rolled right down the stairs…"EH….EHHH…Who the hell put these stairs here huh!?" She shouted out…"Damn I need a bed…." She said to herself as she looked with blurred vision at the machine…which somehow looked like a big fluffy bed to her…"Mmm…sleepy time…" She said as she stumbled to her feet and stepped into the machine…the laser running her up and down as she leaned against the insides…"Mmm…" She said as she dozed off and actually fell asleep in the machine, standing up…

Su finally finished doing…whatever she was doing, and stepped down the stairs…her new weight creaking the steps…

"Mmmm muscles makes things sooooo much easier!" Su said as she flexed her biceps to a huge, bulging 38", the tatters of her already blown off pajama top sleeves jumping up from the sudden flex…

Su kept one bicep flexed, feeling on it and massaging it deeply with her other hand as he stepped past the machine…

"Whoa…Kitsune is out!" She said with a laugh as she reached into the machine and picked up Kitsune with extreme ease, her legs, arms, chest, abs…awww hell, EVERYTHING tensing up and flexing madly as she held the buxom drunk like a mother cradling her baby…"Where could I put her…?" Su asked herself as she looked around…"Ahh, well I guess she'll just have to sleep with me tonight!" She said as she laid Kitsune down, the matress and pillows softly conforming to Kitsune's curvy and full body…Then Su laid herself next to her…

Su's huge, heavy body caused the mattress to creak and squeal…the frame of the bed beginning to make crunching sounds…even if only for a little bit, anywhere where any part of Su's body once lay…the cushioning remembered her muscular, powerful form for at least a minute…"Mmmm I need a new bed…" Su said to herself as she dozed off…

—————-The morning after that…——————–

Motoko woke up…feeling better than she ever had…

"Mmhh…I guess being chased around by Tama leaves you feeling good in the end…" Motoko said to herself as she attempted to swipe her covers off of her…but strangely, they weren't even there. What was there, though, was a thick, muscle rippling leg stretching out the fabric of her Swordswoman gi, which she didn't bother to take off once she got into her room…

"What the…" Motoko stated in an almost whisper like voice as she looked up her leg towards her body…but something was blocking her view once she got to about where her crotch would be…two huge, round, bulging pecs…"Holy cra–!" She said out loud at first, then quickly covering her mouth to muffle her own voice…

Motoko immediately sprung out of bed and stepped towards a large body mirror, her ultra-pumped legs making thunderous sounds with every step…"What the hell happened to me!?" she asked herself in surprise…her usually very loose gi was now stretching every thread to it's limits as they struggled to hold her massive body…

Out of curiousity, the samurai girl brought up her right arm and flexed down on it…and her bicep instantly jumping to push back up! Motoko's eyes grew with amazement as she watched her bicep push up, and her tricep fill up with huge muscle on the bottom, her once loose gi splitting around the middle of her huge bicep and triceps, her milky-white skin showing through the fabric…

"Damn…I must be strong as I dunno what now!" She said to herself with a smirk…soon spotting one of her many wooden practice swords in the corner of her room…

Motoko giggled lightly…something she RARELY did, and released her clothes ripping flex…striding with her powerful legs torwards the sword, and easily picking it up…Not like she couldn't easily pick it up before…but it felt like she was holding some weightless piece of wood…As a matter of fact, even from the light grip Motoko tried to maintain, the wood began to crackle and splinter…

"Hmm…" Motoko moaned in thought as she raised her arm, her shoulders and back flexing like crazy under the fabric…then she quickly, but casually brought her arm down to sort of "slash" with the sword…

Now…Motoko was quite the skilled swordswoman already…even far before gaining all this muscle, the winds from her downwards slices were like small tornados…and if she really wanted to, she could even concentrate those winds into a deadly slice that could split a boulder in two…but things were a bit different now…

With this powerful heave…Motoko's whole upper body flexed right out of the top part of her gi…the winds tearing right through the walls of the house…the small tornado could be seen from a mile away! her bed tossed right out of the hole and onto the ground…thankfully the bed remained in one piece…

"Freaking…Awesome…WATCH OUT TAMA! HERE I COME!" Motoko shouted as she turned around to further admire her new body…Somehow the bandages she used to humbly cover her breasts were still hanging onto her immense pectorals…covering them up just right…

Naru had already occupied one of the bathrooms in the Hinata House…and just like any normal girl waking up with huge, mighty muscles…she was taking her time admiring them…

"Mmmmmff" Naru grunted lightly as she flexed her gargantuan figure to the fullest, her muscles have already long since disposed of her clothing…

"Heheh…If Keitaro doesn't like this…then I will just have to beat some sense into him! Shoot, if he doesn't he's probably too much of a chicken to say anything about it anyways!" Naru chuckled to herself as she pressed her fists against the sides of her rock hard tummy, spreading out her lats and flexing her pecs and abs, along with her arms as a whole…her biceps so huge they were pushing against the massive pec melons…and her triceps were adding mounds of muscle to her frame as well…

The resident drunkard, Kitsune, was just waking up…"Yahhh…." She yawned as she raised her arms, her lats spreading out her already tight, yet elastically stretchy shirt, her ever-expanding pecs sending her breasts heaving against the top and pulling the already low cut neckline further down her cleavage…"Mornin…" She said to herself, drowsily rubbing her eyes to help adjust…

Kitsune felt the fabric shifting much more than usual, and looked down to see if she could find the problem…

"Dang, Kit…first sleep drinking, now sleep lifting?" She said to herself with a sleepy expression and smile as she gazed upon her new, hulkingly muscular body, everything so huge that the fabric was pulled tight enough to seem like a second skin on hers.

Kitsune seemed to be genuinely enjoying the immense ammount of muscle she had gained practically over night, rubbing her soft hands up and down her clothed tummy, running them across her marble pillar-like legs and diamond hard calves, stroking up and down her hard, humongous arms, from forearm to delts, occassionally flexing to try to cup the huge biceps in the palm of her hands, or to see how much of her long sleeved shirt she could stretch with her crazy triceps…

"Mmm…I'm definently liking this…I've never felt so good…" Kitsune moaned as she continued to feel herself up…flexing her legs as she sat with her feet over the edge of Su's bed, the supports of the bed shaking and sqauking a bit from the tremendous bulk…

"Where could that Su have gone?..oh well, guess I'll just take my bath like usual." She thought to herself as she stood up, walking up the groaning steps to the hot spring bath.

Shinobu hid herself in one of the Hinata houses other bathrooms…looking herself over in the mirror…

"Gosh…I'm…I'm so big…" Shinobu quietly commented to herself as she looked into the mirror, her hands cupped under her large breasts to see the fullness of her rippling 8 pack of abs…"I bet I could bend coins with these things!" (Thanks, Tetsuko and DCM, for the inspiration!)

Shinobu lifted up and arm and flexed it across her body, showing off the back of her massive arm to the mirror, her delts, triceps, and the top of her enormous biceps throbbing with might…"Wow…" She breathed in awe, "I've always kinda wanted to be like this…thanks, Su…I just hope that Keitaro will like it…" She said queitly, beginning to blush as she carefully pulled her clothes back over her body, which needless to say, was a hard task…

RIP!

"Hehe…" Shinobu chuckled nervously as she looked down, her pec filled boobs bursting right through the front of her blouse…"This'll take some work…maybe I should take my bath now…I'll need to get some towels to have any hope of covering up anyways…" She said as she crossed her arms over her chest for modesty, and headed up to the bath…

Mutsume was walking up the steps to the Hinata house…lugging an unusually large number of huge watermelons around…and strangely, she seemed to be doing it with extreme ease…

"Wow, must be some new melons today…" Mutsume said to herself with a closed-eyed smile, easily carrying about four dozen watermelons up the stairs on her now broad, muscle-packed shoulders…finally making it to the house, she walked around the back and headed into the "melon storehouse", setting down the massive fruit…the ground making a deep thud when she did…"Oh well." She said as she headed back out of the storehouse, noticing a melon on the ground…"Ohh, one must've rolled out!" She said cheerily, bending over to pick up the melon, her immensely muscled back shredding right through her top as her lats and traps expanded…Then when she bent over, she easily held the melon in her hand…

"Ohh, did I mess it up?" She asked curiously, flexing her arm to pull the melon up into closer sight, her tremendous arm tearing right through her sleeves…"Oh, nothing it seems!" She said with a smile as she tossed the melon into the big pantry…

"Oh dear, seems my clothes are getting too small, I must've washed them wrong…might as well wash up and borrow some clothes from Naru. ^_^" she said with a grin…somehow not noticing how mega-massive she had gotten overnight…

"Ahh…this hot water feels so good against all this huge, pulsing muscle…" Su stated as she slid herself into the hotsprings, sitting back against a decorative rock…

Motoko entered and looked around through the extra steam…"Hmm, Tama's not around…I guess I might as well take a bath in peace…" She said as she unwrapped the tight bandages from her bosom and hopped into the water, her breasts now bouncing freely…

Naru stepped into the hotspring area, completely care free and naked…"Mmm…if Keitaro likes muscle chicks…he'd LOVE a wet one…damn I'm huge…" She said to herself as she casually stepped into the water, carressing and squeezing her extra huge biceps and traps, loosening herself up…"Sheesh, I'm huger than huge…the hugest male bodybuilders could only dream…"

It seems the muscle has gone straight to Naru's head…

Kitsune drowsily stepped past the curtains…and slipped on the wet ground, right into the water…"Heh…I guess with a body like this, it's bound to act for itself some times…" She said as she put a hand on her rock hard shoulder, rotating it around to release some of the stiffness from her "self-exploration"…

Shinobu cautiously looked around once she entered the steamy outside bath area…and once she realized that nobody should be around, she blushed slightly and flexed her thighs, calves, and biceps and pecs in a great double bicep pose, her muscle plowing through her clothes with no problem, the tatters falling onto the ground before the bath as she stepped in…"Tee hee…That's kind of fun…I will be sure to do that for Keitaro often…"

Mutsume stepped into the waters calmly, sighing out as she tensed her newly massive body from the heat of the water…"Oooh, so hot…" She moaned with a pleasurable smile, the tops of her immense set of boobs poking up from the water, easily being lifted by her big, strong pectorals…

"Ahh…" Keitaro sighed as he stepped into his little bath up on the balcony..which was basically just a tall jacuzzi that kept him out of the girls bath…"That's strange…I didn't see any of the girls today…I even had to make my own breakfast…usually Shinobu is up on this…I wonder what happened…"

"WHAH!…KYAHH!!!!…HEH!…Ohh, dear…What the…Hehe, I see you girls have also stumbled into my little machine!"

Keitaro shivered as he heard all the surprised expressions…he stepped out of his little tub and leaning over the edge of the balcony, looking to the steamy hot spring…

"Hey girls, something the matt—"

Crr…

"What the…"

…CRACK!

the railing Keitaro was leaning on…somehow cracked from his weight, and sent him flying right into the middle of the hotspring…

The wet Keitaro stood up, and suddenly the mist cleared…All of the girls standing up as well…the massively muscled maidens surrounding him…

"Urashima!" Motoko shouted angrily, her milky white skin pulsing with muscle underneath…
"Keitaro…." Shinobu said blushingly, modestly hiding her huge boobs with her muscle-packed arms…
"Nice to see ya, Kei-kun!" Su and Kitsune said with their arms around each other's shoulders, their pumped up bodies glistening from the water, their massive legs, awesome abs, tremendous chests, and bulging bis soaking in muscular display…
"Ohh, Keitaro, joining us?" Mutsume asked innocently, somehow working herself into a side-chest pose…even though she -still- didn't realize she was packed with immense muscle all over…

And last but not least…

"Kei…Tar…O!" Naru shouted out, launching a punch right for Keitaro's face…The poor guy was sent spiraling into the air…

A resoundive "Dang…" Was heard from the rest of the girls as they watched Keitaro start to glow red as he began to rocket right out of the atmosphere…

END OF LOVE HINA: MUSCLE HOUSE
——————————————————–

Well…yep, this is the Love Hina story…I'm sorry if you guys don't like it as much ^_^…I left it pretty open ended, maybe I'll do a sequel to show what happens after this, but it's not on the schedule, so as far as I'm concerned, this is the end of Love Hina for me! email me at Brigandier0517@yahoo.com with any comments, suggestions…and fanart! I'm always up for some -constructive- criticism!

Next on my writing list? Neon Muscle Genesis Evangelion chapter 4, and Kinnuku no Jutsu chapter 2 in that order! till next time!

AS A SHORT NOTE, can somebody move my other story to here? it's a fanfic as well…(of Naruto)

[AbyssPlanet]

Just so you know, your average sentence ends in 1 period, not 3. I just found that really distracting while reading your story.

Otherwise, great work! I don't know a single thing about Love Hina, but it was still a good read.

[Debido-San]

Just so you know, your average sentence ends in 1 period, not 3. I just found that really distracting while reading your story.

Otherwise, great work! I don't know a single thing about Love Hina, but it was still a good read.

I use three periods to drag things out, as if the sentence they follow is waiting for the next! think of it this way…

See? the three periods help let you know that I was about to say something! but it's a story, so I wouldn't use colons.

Thanks, though, for the tip! Even I think I use "dot dot dot" too much…it's become a habit that I don't know is good or not!

[Kitsunekun]

A great story!!!
And about the "…"s, they are a good tool to keep suspense, but overdoing it has bad consequences.

[Cowprobe]

Fun stuff.

Having watched the first season, Christmas Special and a little of season 2 this was one of the few anime fan fics I could actually visualize while reading.

I'd love to see Keitaro's two friends from the anime company stumble in on the 'Muscle Hotel' now  😮

If word gets out about the 'effects' of the spring water  in that section of town it might be SWARMED with tourists from around the world. Kitsune might do that to get some quick cash  👿

There is also the archaeologist who constantly crashes his car, would be nice to have one of the mega-girls be able to thwart that schtick just once.  😉

Thanks for sharing this Debido-San just sorry it took me so long to get around to reading it.

[Debido-San]

Wow…now that you mention it….

I wanted to keep this as a single chapter story…but Seta (the archaeologist), whatever and Haitani (Keitaro's friends) and Aunt Haruka could help make a nice sequel!

Thanks for the idea, Cowprobe!

[dwarfpriest]

Dude!… I mean… Dude! *brain short-circuiting*
That's an awesome story! 😀
I read all the manga issues, and you got all their personalities and running gags perfect!
It's really cool how the girls start to feel their muscles on 😉

[Author]

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