[Mark Newman]

Dear Monty:

I think you did the right thing by not getting involved. Growing up is difficult enough for children without having to mediate between their parents’ relationship. This sounds like a somewhat unhealthy dynamic that has been going on between your parents for some time. Maybe the Changes have shifted it to a different playing field, but it’s the same story.

At least your father shows a healthy sense of humor about it. But I hope he can sleep on the couch without developing a backache.

Obviously we all want our parents to have a healthy marriage. Even when they’re such a ripe old age that they have high school children, loving relationships and a healthy sex life are attainable. But it’s not up to their children to help them achieve it. You have enough problems with your own lives. Just don’t feel discouraged by the shortcomings you see in your parents. The fact that your Mom can now do curls with your Dad as easily as she puts them in her hair doesn’t mean they can’t still love each other and do things together — including some things that they won’t want you to see!

Good luck!

Marilyn

[Pug]

From: GeekBoy

Subject: Weirdness from the Fringe

Some interesting info I’ve come across on the net. There’s a site called the Global Consciousness Project – a bunch of Highbrow nutcases studying a world-wide set of ‘Eggs’, random number generators that have had a better than random chance of doing weird things when something big is about to go down. There’s been a lot of critiqueing on the basis that they don’t always seem to predict anything at all and stuff, and that they reach real hard sometime to make a connection. Before this last week, hey, I’d have agreed with the critics.

But evidently the eggs did some weird stuff the friday before this stuff started to be noticed – they had four big ‘Z-scores’ between 7:07 and 7:17 GMT from various eggs, and three of them were really weird.

7:07:32: a Z score of .997 appeared in three North American Eggs

7:12:35: a much higher Z-score of 5.43 comes up, starting in North America and transiting around the world, like a wave.

7:14:52: a *pair* of Z-scores, of 7.49 and -7.02 peaked in Norh America on separate eggs, and rippled across the world again,

7:16:32: Last one for the day – another pair of Z-score spikes at 7.37 and -7.57 rippled across the world – same way, started in North America and rippled outward.

Then This Thursday Morning they bleeped again

02:34:12: North America has another set of three eggs run a 1.56

02:56:30: Four eggs run up a 1.72 Z score

Now, until now the highest Z-scores ever recorded on the eggs were around three – Very long odds, but possible. Frankly that first score wasn’t all that big a deal. If it weren’t five minutes before the other three, no one would care.

But the other three are – it’s not the kind of things anyone has ever seen before, and this project has been running for about seven years. Scores over three are getting into the thousands to one range, scores over five are virtually unheard of. Scores of seven are, well, unheard of.

What the ones on Thursday morning mean? Maybe nothing; they’re not nearly at the level of the first set – just very weird to have more so soon. I haven’t *felt* any different in the last few days.

Well, anyway, nobody really has a clue as to just what happened. They checked whether or not some kind of a cosmic ray burst affected the eggs (They’re electronic, so can be affected by odd things like that) but none of the detectors that would have gone nuts did. Really weird theories have been kicked around that we somehow ‘skipped the track’ out of our quantum universe into another less probable one where our bodies evolved differently.

Those are the Mainstream – the fringe is weirder- <G>. Hey girls – you’ve all been replaced by evil 4th level reptilians that are here to enslave us men and drain our life force. Just thought you should know! Or else the Aquarian shift has revitalized your life force and cut we vampiric men from taking your goddess given right to power. Thanks heavens I stocked those jars of life force for the winter last year that I was draining off of the cheerleading team – all the other psychic vampires laughed at me for that, but see who’s laughing now! Mwa-Hah-Hah-Haaaa.

Scarily enough, I’m not making up either of those two. More scarily than that, I’m not sure whether or not they’re really all that much less likely than the ‘Quantum History’ theory, although at least I can Feynman chart that one, sorta. Theoretically, they say it should be easier to move towards a more likely history, because you’re shifting with entropy rather than against it. Course, two weeks ago the whole thoing would have been laughed out of the symposium, and no one really knows what could cause it, so unless I can find a Gallifreyen with a spare Tardis, it’s not all that likely to make a difference even if it is right – <G>.

Anyway, this is Uber-Geek signing off. Just thought people might be interested in the science weirdness goin down in the wilds of the ‘net.

No reptilian psychic aquarian vampire priest(esse)s were harmed in the crafting of this message!

Geekboy

[Mark Newman]

Dear Geekboy:

Hmmm. You sure have me scratching my head!

This is pretty far outside my area of expertise. Or, I admit, my interests. I deal with the human mind. Conscious and unconscious. The goings on of vampire priests and priestesses, draining life forces, and Gallifreyens and Tardis’s are beyond me, to be honest.

You might be insane.

What’s more likely is you’re playing with me. There are probably some "D&D" sites that like to indulge in your kind of speculation, but I frankly don’t know what to do with it in this forum.

I do know that fantasies of mystical forces and magic are some of the explanations circulating about the reasons for the changes. And I do admit that science has no definitive explanations … yet. It’s a natural reaction, especially for boys, to assume that powers beyond our control are responsible for their diminished strength. This may be a dark magical power wielded by evil vampire priestesses. Or it could be a power as basic to science as electricity but something the world at large has not yet discovered or disseminated but which has been activated randomly — or by design.

This is not something that I or anyone else can prove or disprove at this time. But I will say that belief in magic means a loss of confidence in rationality. If magic exists, then human endeavor is for nothing, and our only option is to appease those evil forces before they work against us. This is how our ancestors lived for thousands of years, and many of the dark eras of modern history show similar patterns of blind allegiance to irrational behaviors.

So, I’m not going to psychoanalyze you here. I’ve made a choice for science and rationality. If you are not delusional, then you can make that choice or the other for yourself. If you are not capable of a choice, then this is were more formal psychological help may be needed. You can contact me privately for referrals.

I wrote the paragraphs above but held back sending them to give one point some more thought. You will notice that I DO leave open the theoretical possibility that whatever forces have caused the changes, whether magical or scientific, were put into play by design. It’s a chilling thought that any of us could have such a power. Almost as chilling as the thought of evil vampire priestesses. If someone had the power to change our bodies — the very terms of our existence as they have been for all of human history — that would far dwarf what any absolute dictator has ever been able to do. To be honest, I admit that the possibility terrifies me.

If ultimately that is proved to be the case, then we will all have to bid farewell to our modern beliefs of equality, personal autonomy, human rights and democracy. And in my own field, I would have either have to brush up on my Jung (which I happily put away after two weeks of Freshman study) or take up something else. Like gardening.

No, I could never be a Jungian — at least not professionally. I would tend my own garden. And try to help myself and those around me cope with the fantasies of terror that are no longer fantasies, with nightmares that are now real.

But I won’t go there. Not unless I have to.

Marilyn

[Pug]

From: Geekboy

Subject: Placating Irrational beings

Well, I just posted it here because this board has gotten a rep for where people post regarding the changes locally. My apologies if I wandered off the topic.

The stuff from the Global Consciousness project is true, and the chance of it’s being a coincidence are astronomically high. I’m on a number of Quantum Physics lists, and the best consensus is that ‘something’ disturbed the universe pretty hard that Friday, but frankly nobody has a clue as to what did it. But it is scientifically feasible.

The rest of it? Well, I doubt I’m any more delusional than anyone else that was a 6 foot geek two weeks ago, and is now considerably shorter, and still a geek. I at least have the good fortune to have my ego unhealthily invested in my IQ which has not been affected, as opposed to the trauma of having been a football star two weeks ago that a lot of guys have been dealing with. Yeah, the stuff about vamps and stuff? While that stuff is in fact being run through conspiracy boards, I intended it for comic relief.

As for placating powerful irrational beings? Sorry, no I’m not dating anyone right now – <G>.

Geekboy

[Mark Newman]

Dear Geekboy:

Thanks for the reassurance. In my position sometimes it’s hard to tell, especially through email. My "craziness sensors" work much better face to face!

I do find your statement about a disturbance in the universe very interesting. I hope that the physicists are following it up. Who knows what they’ll find? That area is pretty far outside my own expertise too. It could just as well be a "Disturbance in the Force" for me.

[JimmyDimples]

To: Marilyn Knewsome (marknew742@gmail.com)

From: Patrick O’Brien

Dear Ms. Knewsome:

I’d been observing the notes and responses. I’d been doing a lot of thinking. And while I’m glad to see Sue and Arielle’s response and safe escort program, I still will have to maintain the girlcott even on that. If I make one exception among my peers, I’d have to excuse everyone.

Some may think that it’s undoable. That we boys won’t or can’t think with the right head.

Well, I had talked to Bennett Maple an hour or two before he had the meeting where he passed out the guns. (I didn’t go). He told me he had the same doubts. And I had something to tell him.

THE RULES OF DISENGAGEMENT

Okay, I’m no moron. I know that many guys love girls’ new bods. Don’t front. Me, I think that it helps their chests a bit, too. But one of the few plusses of being a geek is that dealing with girls is like a chess game. When a queen treats you like a king even though you both know she thinks you’re a pawn, she’s out to rook you.

I remind myself she doesn’t really want us guys. She wants us to type her paper. Fix her laptop. Spot her twenty bucks for shopping. Maybe she got that from you with just by shaking her hips or ducking down so you could get a better view of the Twin Peaks.

And once you delivered, or couldn’t there and then, she chucked you like a used tampon.

Same game, same rules, only their pieces are bigger.

And so, some girl might try to make you break away from the boycott. Just like she played you before.

Here’s what we do.

If you spot her first, turn away. No eye contact. Don’t even look at her body. Just look at something else very fast and keep going. Don’t even think of a wisecrack or put down. Just keep going.

If you hear someone call you or your name, listen carefully. If it sounds like a female, DO NOT LOOK THEIR WAY. Keep going if you’re walking, or focus on something else if your sitting. Don’t be afraid to get up and walk away if they keep it up.

If they try to make your hormones fizz, or hoist up your tent pole for the big top… well… think about that babe for a second.

Okay, now think of your mom and dad doing the wild thing.

Killed the mood pretty quick, didn’t it?

That’s the secret. Keep your mind on something else. This yoga-New Age load about clearing your mind is total crap. You gotta stay focused on something, or you’ll be wide open to anything.

If that’s not enough… well, I carry some REAL protection in my wallet. It’s a photo of my great-aunt Sophi. On the beach. In a string bikini. Use your imagination on that, fellows.

All righty, step two. Maybe some girls round a corner, and you run into them. Or maybe they catch up to you down the hall. If contact is unavoidable, guys, it’s okay to say three words: "Don’t touch me."

If they do anyway after that, congratulations. They just committed basic assault. You get five more words then: "I said don’t touch me." If they still do, that’s aggravated assault. Then get going to the nearest teacher. Principal Gregg or any guy teacher would be best, but hey, any port in a storm. Well, almost any port. Forget Ms. Dooda, she’s a bully herself. Remember Gregg’s speech this morning? Right.

Third one. One of the most effective contraceptives ever is … the laugh. Think about it. When’s the last time some chick laughed at a guy’s package? Didn’t help his confidence much, did it? If she can do it, so can we. I mean, come on. Why can’t they walk down the hall normally? They gotta slink… like this… like "My Mother Done Told Me" is playing in the background.

You know the tune? From the old Warner Brothers Looney Tunes cartoons? Yeah. She’s really selling it. Just like Britney Spears or some other prosti-tot. Just like her, if it was that good in the first place, it’d sell itself. Why would they market it so hard? If a girl tries that BS on you, just roll your eyes and laugh. Out loud.

Well, that’s what I told Bennett. He seemed to like it and take it to heart. I wish he had thought of that before he handed out the pistols.

I was about to tell Sue not to worry about becoming a monster. If she were concerned about it in the first place, it wouldn’t happen. But another thing bothers me: Geekboy’s muttering. I usually don’t take much stock on mystic-psychic voodoo-whammy hooha. But if it were true…

It’d be bad enough if someone could impose cosmic will against my body…

But to override my will… my ability to choose…

If that were to happen, I’d probably find Bennett, grab one of his guns, and turn it on myself.

If might is the only right, then there’s no room for love in this universe. And that may be true, that may be the way it is.

But I’m not strong enough to live in a world like that. Physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually.

Whatever. I’ll be going to school on time as usual. The girlcott and the Rules are on.

Patrick O’Brien.

((JimmyDimples: Yes, Bennett stole Pat’s speech.))

[Murdough]

To: Marilyn Knewsome

From: Andrew

Dear Ms. Knewsome,

First off, just heard about the note from Jill. From what I’ve been hearing on my police scanner, the cops are still not having much luck in tracking her and Anthony. If you ask me, they may need to bring in FBI on this one. Better resources, and given the severity of such crimes, I’d say it’d override the question about jurisdiction.

Anyway, just got out of the hospital last night. You might’ve heard about an assault that happened last week. Gas station employee jumped by a trio of high school girls. Yeah, that was me. But since I’m here writing this, I’m good. Actually better than good in some ways. Granted, that could be the vicoden talking. But this is what happened.

As I had said before in a previous letter, corporate had opted to double the hours allotted for second and third shifts. Meaning my boss could schedule double coverage for that sixteen hour period. That paired me up with a girl by the name of Sara. Maybe a year or two younger than me, Sara and I had had a friendly working relationship before the change. Physically, she’d actually been a little slight back in those days. Rail thin, though pretty tall. I was 5’10", and she had no trouble looking me right in eyes. Great eyes too. Shade of green unlike most I’d seen. Combined that with her red hair and pail skin, and she was your classic Irish beauty.

Anyway, after the change, she’d actually become more beautiful in my eyes. Her height had shot up, peaking at around 6’6" or so. The fact that I’d shrunk down to around 5’4"-5’5" had served to emphasize that change. And her physique, well, like every other woman on the planet, she had muscles that put any male bodybuilder to shame. Her shoulders had to be about half again the breadth of my own and her thighs must’ve just been just shy of being as big as my waist. And her arms, well, I’d said before that they were bigger than my head. Not changing that assessment.

And Christ, starting to sound like a fawning schoolboy here.

So yeah, after the change, Sara and I had more or less become partners at work. Eight or nine hours a night, six nights a week working together. The previously friendly working relationship actually started to deepen in the past couple of weeks. We got to know eachother a lot better. Turned out we had a lot of things in common. We both loved Godsmack and thought that Michael Jackson was the anti-Christ. We loathed reality TV and considered The Shawshank Redemption to be the greatest piece of American film. That sort of thing. There may have been some flirtation between us, but truthfully, I thought it was my imagination. No way a girl like her would be in to a guy like me. Theory I’d held to since before the change.

Anyway, the attack. It was around 10:30-11:00 this past Wednesday night. Every night, we’d order take out from one of the nearby places, and take turns picking it up. Wednesday was my night. I was on my way to the restaurant when I stopped in my tracks. In front of me was a trio of girls. Based on their faces, they looked no more than sixteen or seventeen years old. Latinas from the look of it. Again, based on their faces. Their bodies told a different story, displaying the same bulging muscles that all women now possessed. Just one of them looked like they could easily break me in half. And there were three of them before me.

"Where you going?" one of them, who I guess was the leader, asked in a mockingly polite tone. Though I didn’t know these girls personally, I had heard rumors about a small gang of teenage girls assaulting local men in the area for their money. This must’ve been them.

"Just picking up some dinner," I said, hoping to God that my voice didn’t carry the fear that was starting to build up in the pit of my stomach.

"That so," the leader replied, her voice losing some of the politeness. "Means you got some cash on ya."

I shrugged, trying to play it cool, yet wishing that I’d had some sort of weapon on me. A bat, pepper spray, something. But I didn’t. Just had to be cool here. "Got a tab at the restaurant. Pay it at the end of the week," I lied. I had about thirty bucks on me, plus my credit and ATM cards.

Goes without saying that they saw through my lie. Deciding not to waste words, the leader nodded to the girl on her right. Without saying anything, the girl quickly grabbed me by my left arm. The third girl joined in, grabbing my right. I struggled, trying to get free. That only caused them to squeeze my arms harder. I couldn’t help but gasp in pain. Felt like I had a pair of steel vices closing down on my upper arms. I only wish that that was the only pain I felt that night.

Before I knew what hit me, I felt the air explode from my lungs as the leader’s fist slammed into my gut. I leaned forward as best I could, considering the two amazons holding me up. A moan of pain escaped my lips as I took several deep breaths. My stomach area hurt like hell, and in truth, I was close to throwing up. Before that could happen though, I felt her fist slam into my body again. This time, I heard and felt a snap. Must’ve been one of my ribs. Pain lanced through my body that time as I yelped. A blow across my jaw quickly followed, then a jab to my nose. Again, I felt and heard a snap, accompanied by a warm wetness.

By that point, I was pretty damn out of it. My legs felt like jelly, that fact born out when I felt the hands holding my arms vanish. Without any support, I fell forward in a heap. I felt hands rummage through my pockets. If I could, I would have cursed. Bitches got my wallet. Then I was alone.

Honestly, I don’t know how long I lay there. Could’ve been hours, could’ve been minutes. Probably a concussion.

After god knows how long, I thought I heard something. Someone calling my name. Next thing I know, I’m being gently lifted into someone’s arms. I managed to open my eyes a little, seeing who it was. Sara, her face etched with concern. Then I passed out.

I woke up in the hospital a couple hours later, or so the clock on the wall indicated. There were people standing near the bed I was in. My brother, my grandmother, my sister, a doctor, and Sara.

The doctor gave me a rundown on my injuries. Turned out I did indeed have a concussion. Thankfully, it was only a mild one. In addition, I’d suffered two cracked ribs, a broken nose, and a lot of facial bruising as well as where the girls had squeezed my arms. He then ushered my family out, though not before Sara could give me a long look.

That was three days ago. During my time in the hospital, Sara came by whenever she could. Filled me in on what had happened. Turned out that I’d been gone from the store for too long, and that she’d been worried. Explained how she found me. We talked a lot. She told me about how worried she’d been. How her heart had stopped when she’d found me in the state I was. And about how she hoped they’d find the girls responsible. She owed them a beating.

But mainly, we talked about nothing really important. Little things, like how I was planning on seeing the Hitchhiker’s Guide next week. She seemed to hint that she’d like me to invite her. Truth told, I probably will. One could say it’s because she more or less saved me and that I owed her. That’s true, no question. But there’s something more. And hell, maybe things will go right for once.. Guess we’ll see.

Wish me luck.

~Andrew

[minimanmax]

From: Sue

Dear Ms. Knewsome;

First I have to thank Patric for his kind words. David said he won’t join the girl-cot though sometimes I wish he would. I’m not sure about him hanging around my friend Mary. I do have to say those women who will be helping out with escorting the boys from class to class also help with the girl-cot by trying to draw the attention of other girls if you see them bothering one of the guys that are participating. Just do it long enough to allow the boy to get away. Now a few rules for the new ladies. Some of these we pushed on the men now we are stronger we need to start following them.

*No means No! We’ve said that to horny guys all the time when we didn’t want any. Some may not have listened and you know what I don’t care. I could care less if he had a 2 ft. rock hard cock. If he says no it means no. We women clam to be better that men we need to start showing it.*

*We must never hit a men unless he means to kill us and at the rate that our strength seems to be growing I doubt that would be likely.*

*And if a man seems to need help with something offer it but if he says no don’t push it. Meny of use got offended before the change when they did that. So they might feel the same way.*

Now I beg all the women in the world please to not be tempted to become brutes. We still don’t know how long this would last and if things went back to the way they where some of the women the missused there power will be in a lot of trouble and I don’t want to see any more suffering. I’ve all ready seen enough with my dad before the change.

Thank you to all those who support my idea.

Sue

[Pug]

From: Geekboy

Found a strange one, not yet verified, from a physiology list I’m on.

I feel the need to mention that neither of these two studies is complete, nevermind verified or peer reviewed. This may be a false positive, or an indicator of something else entirely.

From the I.U. School of Medicine, we have a preliminary study of physiological changes in the male and female body (PDF available from their website). Among the listings of changes in vascular production and stuff is the oddity that an organ called the vomeronasal organ (VMO or Jacobson’s organ), which previously only appeared vestigially in about 25% of adults, ranging from non-existent to pretty well developed, is now fully developed in all men and women.

It is responsible for the reception and interpretation of pheromones – airborn hormones that affect behavior in animals – staking territories, menstrual cycles, pack behavior, that sort of thing.

The second is from the french company Louis-Vuitton-Moët-Hennessy, (The produce perfume, thus their interest), which has submitted a treatise to the Association Parfume Internationalle noting that women are now producing pheromones at much larger concentrations than existed previously, including pheromones similar to the pheromones that express alpha-female dominance in bonobo monkeys. It also notes the presence of higher concentrations of ‘appeasement’ pheromones in males – normally found in the beta (or submissive) groups in social animals.

(For those who are unaware, the bonobo is one of the great apes, along with chimpanzees, and seems to actually be our closest living relative. Unlike most of the ape families, in the bonobo the females are the social leaders and openly use the fact that they don’t go into ‘heat’ and are sexually available whenever they feel like it to manipulate bonobo ‘society’, well, such as it is. Bonobo males are much less aggressive than in other great ape families.)

Now neither of these studies is complete (I wasn’t even aware of the second one until it got mentioned by a french biochemist when the first was being discussed), but they’re both reputable sources, and there’s every chance that the findings will prove correct upon completion and peer review, so I don’t mind admitting to being a bit weirded out by the implications.

Heck, I’m not sure what to do if they *are* both true. Start breathing through my mouth? That supposedly brings less air through the VMO, but I feel stupid thinking about it.

I don’t know – I don’t *feel* like I’m suddenly pliable. I’ll admit – I’d happily kill you all if Shania Twain whispered in my ear, but then, I’m pretty sure I woulda done that before – <G>. On the other hand I do wonder – for a society with cultural standards of beauty as rigid as ours is, guys have adjusted awfully fast. Anybody notice whether or not guys with a head cold haven’t been adjusting as well or anything?

These are both really really preliminary – the first one isn’t really even about the VNO – it’s just a laundry list of gross physical changes to investigate further, and they’re up to 14,000 distinct physical changes (BTW, evil gynocratic conspirators if you’re out there – Dr. Ordivan of the human genome project is highly ticked off. You are to revert whatever you did at once or face her wrath. Just thought you should know.) The other one is more in the lines of quick corporate study and exchange of information so they can update the product line to compensate.

So make of these two what you will – be sensible, not paranoid. Pheromones are not mind control, even in lower animals, and normally have very short term effects. On the other hand – be self aware. If you’re reacting in a manner you normally don’t react, you may have neurons firing that weren’t firing two weeks ago.

I would like to thank whoever did this for making my puberty that extra tad more nervewracking than it already was – just stand on this "X" here, your present will be arriving momentarily. Here’s a traditional Wile E Coyote umbrella to hold over your head . . .

The grumbling geekboy

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