[Anonymous]

for me to be going.  Thank you for doing all this work, Lingster – with much of the complaining about the new format, I think that has been said much too rarely.  This forum really has the potential to go far, and I hope it is as successful as it can be.  For me, I am growing less fond of the rhetoric and juvenile trivialities that are seemingly so prevalent here.  I am writing this message so that anyone (and there are people who frequent this site that have shared webspace for a fair amount of time…) who wishes to download the content I have posted here or wishes to bid farewel may do so – I will strip my posts from the forum sometime in the next couple of days.  Oh, and before someone decides to perform junior achievement psycho-analysis on this message, it is NOT:

1) a pathetic plea for recognition
2) a desperate outcry for appreciation or an infantile longing to hear 'Oh no!!! Please don't go…We love you…'
3) an instigation to have others do the same, or
4) an over-inflated sense of self importance thinking this will make a difference

It is, however, a way of explaining why I am leaving.  In the past, I have gathered up my little pencils and stormed off for personal reasons – too much wasted time, too little talent, too difficult to explain – whatever.  As such, I have always come back, as I enjoy drawing and sharing what I draw with others.  Returning was really rejuvinating – like proving yourself all over again.

I do not think that will be the case this time.  I have spent the better part of the morning reading through sundry posts, and it occurs to me that I can still do these things without having it diluted by personal attacks and defensive, verbal posturing.  It just isn't worth it.  I realize that one does not have to read everything that is posted, but in this case, it would be akin to walking through the forest and not having to look at the trees, so prevalent are these kinds of postings. 

In any event, all the best to everyone, and warmest regards to everybody who participates constructively in building this web community.  You know who you are…

digdougdog (aka – Smithy18us)

[y498yates]

Best of luck to you!

[Anonymous]

1) We recognize how great you are!
2) Oh no!!! Please don't go…We love you…
3) I think I will leave, too!!
4) What, do you think you're so freakin' important that whatever problem you have here will be fixed by you leaving??

🙂

That said, enjoy your life. 😀

[Anonymous]

For someone who spends the vast majority of their time bitching that they are picked on, you sure have an interesting way of writing responses that seem to beg for rebuttal.  Allow me to do so in kind:

You're joining the Marines!  Wonderful!  We get it!  We got it the thirty-fifth time you mentioned it.  So are (If I recall correctly) about 200,000 others.  Please try not to kill too many civilians when you're over there – given the last few months of 'combat', that is what they seem to be best at.  Or courageously calling in an airstrike to deal with two fourteen year olds on a roof  top, manning an RPG they don't know how to use*.  If Iraq indicates how the to fight a war, its amazing we're not all speaking Russian right now.

You are misunderstood.  That is a pity.  Given the clarity with which you're points are made, I fail to see how that is possible.  Why, how could any of your dime-store rhetoric and pedestrian psychology be misconstrued?  Perhaps it is because we are all too naive to differentiate the implied meaning and the actual meaning that is written – of course, that could never be the result of poor wordsmanship.

You feel that you are unfairly treated as a sexual object.  That is a serious issue.  Given the sporadic sampling I have done of posts here, though, I ask: Precisely how hot do you think you are?  If I may speak for the silent, heterosexual community, your imagination is writing cheques your body can't cash.  I am not going to say that you are unattractive (now THAT would be mean), but holy shit – one would think that the stampede of testosterone-supercharged men crashing down your door was beyond reason, based on your remarks.  Here is an honest (and we all know how you approve of honesty) remark.  You are an average girl (and yes, I think I am using that pejoratively) saying things with little consideration for the feelings of others for the exclusive betterment of your own self-esteem.  Funny, because I am an average human being trying to score funny points at the expense of others.  I guess that makes me just slightly more of a dirtbag.

In a way, leaving is the finest feeling – for the next while I get to make a total ass of myself and it has no consequences – In a few days the board will have forgotten that I ever existed, and the world will have moved on to a different (and probably better) place.  Its quite a heady feeling, actually.  Its like getting fired from your job, and still getting to have company email…

You may already relish this, as the sophmoric calls of 'wearing your ovaries on the outside' and having more balls than most men sems to only be enforced when people have no oppurtunity to respond in kind.  Putting aside the funny stuff for a minute, I was deeply disappointed to read your comments on your art group today.  If you had a problem with something somebody wrote – confront them.  Don't run off to the safety net of another social group and write (poor) editorials (you call it an essay, but it really is an editorial) mocking these fellows.  I don't personal message at all, so I do not know what a hassle unwanted messages are, but for shit's sake, fix the problem with the people you have it with.  Post the God damn editorial here – tell the people who annoy you to read it – and maybe then your problem will go away.  I however, do not like to hear how 'nobody gets what I am trying to say / I am trying my best to be nice / your're not tough enough to take it' everytime somebody tells you they disagree.  The rhetorical shield is thin.

Anyway, this has been fun.  Please come again.

*Before anyone starts to bang away at their keyboards smiting me for the 'combat' comments, let us remember that the Marines had, in the past, done all they could to protect civilian populations and collateral damage with limitations on force and tactics (examples:  City of Hue in Vietnam, the humanitarian operations in the aftermath of Okinawa, etc.).  I just do not feel this is the cae in this war and with this administration.  And yes, I was a serviceman (not in the US, though), and yes, I know of friends who served and did not come home.

[Rick]

Its like getting fired from your job, and still getting to have company email…

😀 😀 😀 LMAO

….sorry i found that funny

[Anonymous]

Hahaha, that was a fun read 😀

you sure have an interesting way of writing responses that seem to beg for rebuttal.
Really? I didn’t write anywhere that I wanted you to respond. Unless you thought the “enjoy your life” comment was just me being facetious…which is wasn’t. Really, enjoy your life! 🙂

So are (If I recall correctly) about 200,000 others.
175,000. The smallest branch of the military, with less than 10,000 Marines being women.

Please try not to kill too many civilians when you're over there
That’s not what combat engineers do. We build hospitals and schools, and we take out minefields. The only people I’ll be shooting are those that are shooting at me. 

Or courageously calling in an airstrike to deal with two fourteen year olds on a roof  top, manning an RPG they don't know how to use*.  If Iraq indicates how the to fight a war, its amazing we're not all speaking Russian right now.
Doesn’t work like that. You know that 🙂

You are misunderstood.  That is a pity.  Given the clarity with which you're points are made, I fail to see how that is possible.  Why, how could any of your dime-store rhetoric and pedestrian psychology be misconstrued?  Perhaps it is because we are all too naive to differentiate the implied meaning and the actual meaning that is written – of course, that could never be the result of poor wordsmanship.
YOU AER TEH MISUNDERTSOANDING MEEE!!!!111ONE

I ask: Precisely how hot do you think you are?
I’m a golden freakin’ god. My beauty surpasses all beauty, even that which only exists in Plato’s World of Forms. I’m so surprised that people harass me because they should be worshipping me.

But honestly?
I don’t! Hell, I’m as surprised as you are that people are harassing me. What the hell do I have to offer? I talk like I’m a dude, I tell people off, and I insult people for hitting on me. Why people continue to hit on me will remain a mystery.

I am not going to say that you are unattractive (now THAT would be mean)
Why? If you think I’m unattractive, say so. That’s your opinion so it can’t possibly be wrong.

but holy shit – one would think that the stampede of testosterone-supercharged men crashing down your door was beyond reason, based on your remarks.
You don’t live at my house. You don’t have to repair my stupid door. So you can’t really talk, can you?

Here is an honest (and we all know how you approve of honesty) remark.  You are an average girl (and yes, I think I am using that pejoratively) saying things with little consideration for the feelings of others for the exclusive betterment of your own self-esteem.
The funny thing about honesty is that it has to be true. Saying that it’s for “the exclusive betterment of your own self-esteem” is your own unfounded (not to mention untrue) opinion. I guess you can honestly FEEL that way, sure, but it’s not my fault that you read into what I’m saying. 😀 My self-esteem is just great. I don’t need you or anyone else telling me that I rule to know that I rule. 😀 Joking aside, in all honesty, I’m actually quite secure in who I am, what I feel, and what I stand for. I used to really care about how people perceived me, but then I realized that I shouldn’t worry about it because even if some moron thinks that I’m a certain way, that doesn’t mean that I AM that way. If someone thinks I’m stupid, then they think I’m stupid. If someone thinks I’m a genius, then they think I’m a genius. I know what I am, so it really doesn’t bother me. When I said that you can call me unattractive, I meant it. Your perception of me won’t alter my perception of me.

As for not considering people’s feelings, it really does sound like that, I know. Oh, my goodness, I know. The real issue? I don’t expect people to react like they do. This only happens on the internet, by the way, or when I send an email to a real-life buddy. If you met me and heard me say all this, you could easily tell that I’m joking. My facial expressions, tone of voice, and cadence all tell people I’m joking. So, in my head, I hear the same tone of voice and make all the same expressions, but then people get pissed. Why haven’t I changed it? Enough people understand that I’m joking, so I figure that there are some folks out there hell-bent on being offended. If I ever DO offend someone when I didn’t mean to, I apologize. I end up apologizing a lot, as you may have guessed. I think a good way to put it would be: I never intend to offend anyone, but I never expect anyone to be offended.

because I am an average human being trying to score funny points at the expense of others.  I guess that makes me just slightly more of a dirtbag.
And slightly less than a sack of rats.

In a way, leaving is the finest feeling – for the next while I get to make a total ass of myself and it has no consequences
Congrats to your newfound comments 🙂

You may already relish this, as the sophmoric calls of 'wearing your ovaries on the outside' and having more balls than most men sems to only be enforced when people have no oppurtunity to respond in kind.
It’s not a good idea to assume things about people then get on them for your own assumption. That makes you look like an idiot. But if that’s the point now since you’re leaving, well, point conveyed 🙂
I expect people to respond to me. I expect it because I respond to them, and I respond to them because I feel that they expect a response so the least I can do is give them one. I’m all for someone proving me wrong because that means I get a step closer to the truth. I’ve been proven wrong plenty of times, but never did I say “I am wrong” because someone just threw insults my way.

I was deeply disappointed to read your comments on your art group today. If you had a problem with something somebody wrote – confront them.  Don't run off to the safety net of another social group and write (poor) editorials (you call it an essay, but it really is an editorial) mocking these fellows.
That’s good advice, but unnecessary. Here’s why.
I DID confront these people. The reason I posted it on my site was because another forum dude (different forum) posted something about how he hates how forum men act towards women in the forums. I figured that I could supplement that, since I am a woman and would have a better idea of how women feel in these situations than he would. This came out as a stream of consciousness editorial (even I started using quotes around “essay” because I’m well aware that it isn’t nearly written or organized well enough to count as an essay, nor does it have any other essay-like qualities), which was funny enough for people to read while getting a point across, which is good enough for me.
I’m not afraid to confront the individuals who annoy me. That would be stupid and hypocritical of me to tell people to defend themselves but then to not do it myself. The “editorial” I wrote was in addition to what I sent to these guys, in hopes that people read it and say “Gee, those guys were pretty stupid, I wonder if I act like that.” But let’s not give myself too much credit: the most it’ll probably accomplish is giving some readers a laugh. That would be arrogant to assume someone would reach a turning point in his life because of some vomit I threw up all over my dA gallery 🙂

So, if I didn’t confront these people, I thank you for your suggestion. Since I did, the comment is still true but unnecessary because I already do so 🙂

Post the God damn editorial here – tell the people who annoy you to read it – and maybe then your problem will go away.
I didn’t post it here on Amaz0ns because not everyone behaved this way and I felt it would be unfair to post something so off-topic and blunt in a group where the vast majority didn’t even behave remotely like this. Besides, it stands to reason that if these guys want me, then they’ll check out all my websites, so they’ll see it anyway. You know what? They did. Some apologized.
The problem did go away, though. I didn’t tell them to read the editorial (although many did), I merely told them individually that their advances were pointless, pathetic, and annoying. Some got the hint, others didn’t, so I continued to tell them that they were being really annoying, and it was no wonder they were reduced to hitting on people online. They eventually figured it out.

I however, do not like to hear how 'nobody gets what I am trying to say / I am trying my best to be nice / your're not tough enough to take it' everytime somebody tells you they disagree.  The rhetorical shield is thin.
Then what do you suggest? I’m honestly asking here. I’ve never been able to be clear, concise, AND nice, so if you have any tips on how to do so, I’d love to hear them.

Anyway, this has been fun.  Please come again.
Why would I come again? You’re leaving.
Please stay!!!!111

I just do not feel this is the case in this war and with this administration.
It is the case, although I will be the first to admit that this war is getting really sticky, if not completely covered in molasses (lame, I know 😀 ).
But if you could provide some evidence to back up your feeling, then I might be persuaded.
The Iraqi prime minister wants us out in 6 months. Man alive, I hope we do get out soon. I hope we help their garbage problem, help out the water treatment plants, rebuild everything we ruined, and let them get on with their lives. That’s why I’m doing combat engineering. I’ll be building things, fixing things, and taking out minefields. I believe that we should act a certain way, so I’m going in to support that belief. I’d feel like a hypocrite if I didn’t. “Oh, yeah, why aren’t we fixing stuff? Why more shooting? Oh, ME actually go THERE and do what I’m complaining needs to be done? Yeah right!”

And yes, I was a serviceman (not in the US, though), and yes, I know of friends who served and did not come home.
A Navy buddy told me that the best advice he could give is to not make any friends while I’m out there. Would you agree?

This was fun 🙂 I like poking fun at myself. Although, it does make me wonder if I should be a little more laid back in my responses to people. I feel like I’m getting a little snappy, and not in the funny way I mean for it to sound. Your comments were all to poke fun, I know, but at the same time people say that there is a grain of truth to everything, even jokes. While I still believe that if I explain myself people don’t have a right to still be mad, I could make it a little more clear that I’m joking.

EDIT
At the same time, I wonder how much of this is actually MY problem. I’m not saying that I’m blameless, but I’m wondering how much of my “crappy attitude” is me and how much is how I’m perceived.
As I said, I only have this problem on the internet.
And you know what? I only have this problem with men.

It’s either men that I’ve rejected, or men that, for some reason, perceive me as having rejected them, or men that, for some reason (maybe I said something they disagree with) take me as a threat. A guy who isn’t insulted by me and who wasn’t shot down by me never has a problem with me. But men that I tell to back off? Guys that respond to things I write that they take personal offense to? They’re the ones to jump on me.

Believe it or not, I’m MUCH more blunt to women, both in real life and online. They don’t give me this kind of problem. Anything I tell them that the previously mentioned men would instantly take offensively, these women take it, chew on it, and either agree or disagree, but are always civil. Same with the men who do not perceive me as a threat or some kind of girl they like that shot them down so they insult me to make themselves feel better (“she shot ME down? Well, there’s a problem with HER, not with ME!!”). I’m completely frank with plenty of people, and only a few are ever insulted…and those that are happen to be the ones that like me or see me as a threat to either their personal opinions or, sad to say, their views on women. In this case, there are guys here looking for a buff chick who is bold and intelligent. They see me wanting to gain muscle, they know I’m bold, and they say that I’m intelligent. I say “Not interested,” and suddenly my fanclub (yeah, one actually called himself my fanclub) is throwing insults at me. Not only did I turn them down, but I broke their view on what a woman would be: not only buff (or wanting to be), intelligent, and bold, but also a woman who reciprocates their affection (I don’t know of anyone that fantasizes about people who shoot down their advances).

Sometimes, it’s the arrogant guy that just can’t stand someone enjoying his/herself. Someone who is angry and upset at the world for whatever reason, so if they see someone getting compliments, all they’ll ever do is insult that person in hopes to show that the person is lower than they are. Or someone who prides himself on his intelligence, so anyone who he sees as remotely close to his intellect he will insult in hopes to “prove” that the person is really stupid so that he looks smarter by comparison.

Since I very, very, very rarely have this kind of problem with
a) women
b) men who don’t see me as a threat
c) men who don’t like me
d) men who aren’t arrogant
e) men who don’t pride themselves on their intellect
then I’m left wondering how much of this is actually my fault. Basically, as long as the person doesn’t have some kind of pre-conceived idea of how I (or women in general) am supposed to act, they have no problems getting along with me and my sarcasm and jokes are taken as sarcasm and jokes.

[Anonymous]

I think you read much more into this than warranted – I would not say that any of your remarks above are correct.  I really don't think it is a question of feeling threatened at all – most people (particularly on a medium like the internet which is relatively anonymous) tend to feel less threatened about their personal position than in other forms of correspondence.  Furthermore, being as near gender nueter communication as we have arrived at (I could be a woman right now and you nor anyone else would ever know…), the notion of gender issues is extremely clouded online.  That said, I can only speak for myself on this, but I respond for a simple reason.  I just don't like you.  It would not matter if you were a man, a woman, a dog or a house plant: If you truly are honest in your posting, and I believe that you are, then I read them and think: "this is not a person who I would want to go for beers with, or discuss politics with, or talk literature with, or (fill in the blank) with".  You might very well say the same thing.  That is probably beneficial: misery loves company, but antipathy cannot stand alone.  That is one of the great beauties of this world: we are born into a social contract that states we have to tolerate all other people, not like them all.

Your posts and responses I find either; a) disagreeable, b) uninformed, or c) in conflict with my own moral compass.  Their unifying trait, however, is that they are issued with a finality and rigidity that is remarkable.  The world is a very complicated place.  I don't think anyone has the trademark (patent pending) on the solutions to the world.  Allow me an example:  Someone (in another post) stated they were working two jobs.  Your response: Find another job.  They go on to state their desire to open a Dive shop – you then proceed to tell them location, location, location as a basis for a successful business model.  Do you see that this is nothing more than hollow truisms?  If the poor bastard did not know these two things, he would literally be too stupid to survive, much less successfullly run a corporate enterprise.  Yet, there is no recognition that the other individual has any competency nor the wherewithal to have not understood these simple concepts – only the finality and rigidity evident in that they are problems that require your solution.  I don't know you as a human being, but as a series of replies and attitudes.  Your corporeal entity and spirit I am merely indifferent to, the latter I do not care for.

My complicity in this is perhaps it has gone too far.  You seem to have updated your response at least twice, and for that I am sorry.  Not everyone will like you or what you say, and the reasons may be as simple as I stated above.  To each thier own.  You wrote above that that you should perhaps change your posting to be less harsh – that you were asking "what do you suggest? I’m honestly asking here. I’ve never been able to be clear, concise, AND nice, so if you have any tips on how to do so, I’d love to hear them" (see post above).  I really don't care what you do.  You are a big girl.  You have some intelligence, some literary skill – do as you please.  Just don't allow these things to grow out of proportion – your 'problem people' outline above is, I believe, fruitliess.  Except or reject individuals – and leave the classification to the Taxonomists.  This is, afterall, just life….

[Michael Pouliot]

And for f*ck's sake, please cut down on the smiley faces.

[Anonymous]

strawberryriddick? What a loser. I read all that crap you posted, seriously get a life and maybe some friends. Perhaps when you actually have a body that is worth posting pictures of you should do so but until then keep that garbage to yourself.

-someone who has done tours in Iraq, Liberia, Afghan, etc, has a 1700lb total and wouldn't condescend to give you the time of day

[Anonymous]

Well, leave us not let this degenrate any further.  There are rules of both posting and decorum to follow here – I think that we should all bear that in mind.  I may have pushed the limits of civility with the last couple, but we should not get carried away (as much as I agree with the f*cking smiley face thing…).  in any event, thanks for posting.
digdougdog

[Author]

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