[happiest_in_shadows]

I was hoping I could get a few opinions on some ideas I've been working on. Essentially I would like to know how logical they sound, if the basic idea is fairly well developed and perhaps some suggestions. Here are the two I already have typed up.

Basic Idea: With the death of not one, not two but three of her elder brothers in recent years Elly's family has fallen upon hard times. A farming family the three older brothers were a major part of the work force upon her parents farm. With their deaths the family is suffering financially and emotionally with one compounding the other. This has forced changes. While typically Elly's work load would have been lighter then her brothers due to being a female she has been forced to pick up the additional slack. She does this without complaint but she can't compensate for the loss of three brothers all by herself.

Fortunately for Elly she isn't alone. During more carefree times she befriended one of the apprentices to an alchemist living in the town. John had met Elly just a few days after he'd come to the village. He'd been her friend for almost as long as he'd been an apprentice to the alchemist. During the winter months and younger days the two would play together. It was something of an oddity as John's less physically demanding life style made him a good bit weaker then Elly. This never put him off though and as the years went by he found it to be an attractive feature of hers though he never said as much.

Upon learning of the deaths of Elly's brothers though and seeing the hardships she was going through John sought to help his friend. While he lacked the physical ability or time to help her on the farm that didn't mean he couldn't help her. Using what he'd learned he began supplying Elly with alchemical potions that boosted strength and stamina helping her get through the day.

While not top of the line potions, indeed they were quite cheap owing their only real value to the fact that few know how to make them, they did help. This also helped John as well as he found himself having to make the best and wisest use out of the cheapest and easiest to fine materials that he could find yet still wanting to help his friend as much as possible. This forced out of the box thinking and helped develop skills for getting the most out of what you have. Traits that his master greatly approved of and thus did nothing to stop his efforts.

In time John came upon a remarkable discovery. Once he learned more about how the potions actually worked he found that he could make them even stronger using just one extra material. By using a bit of Elly's blood and a few extra techniques John could make the potions even more effective for her though it ruined them for anyone else to use. This was done by using her blood to attune the magical energies in the potions to her allowing for far easier and efficient use on her part.

Elly did what she could to help provide the materials and make the potions after all John was making them for her. Then one winter she even went as far to ask him to start teaching her some alchemy so that she could make the potions herself. John wasn't allowed to give these lessons but in his youth he didn't see the potential danger of granting such knowledge so he began teaching her during the winter months.

This is whenever John made another discovery though he didn't notice it right away. Elly was a genius, something that none would have ever realized or even came to be known due to her status in life if it hadn't been for her and his efforts. The rate at which she absorbed what he taught her was truly astounding and he soon found himself more working with her then teaching her. On top of that the days spent doing manual labor left her plenty of time to think.

Basic Idea Beast Amongst Beast:

In their quest to quench their thirst for power humanity has made many mistakes even appealing to the powers of hell to gain a short cut to powers they were not ready for. Many sought to make contracts with the denizens of the abyss while others have sought to bind them to their well. In nearly every if not every case it has ended with those who thought they could bargain with or control the demons learning they were merely pawns more often then not finding they had not just lost their flesh to the demons but their spirits as well.

The mages of the of the living shadow were no such exception. While their methods were varied attempting to both control and bargain with the rulers of the abyss their goals were the same. To obtain power they had yet to earn through knowledge, study and research and just as billions had done before them they fail to the demons corruption. However, unlike many they did not disappear entirely nor would they take the destruction of their brothers and sisters lightly.

In order to grow stronger a spirit being will often consume another spirit being should it be able. Demons have done this for eons. Corrupting weak or foolish humans to claim their spirit as their nourishment. However, a human is a spirit being as well simply one that is granted a flesh body with which to experience the physical world. So if a demon is capable of feeding upon a human spirit should it not be possible for the tables to be turned?

The mages of the unified light believed so once the mages of the living shadow. Taken what they had learned during their time of folly they sought out a method to reverse the tables upon the demons that had taken so many of their brothers and sisters. It wasn't long before they came upon a realization. In order to claim the spirit of a humanoid the demon had to first corrupt it the spirits of those who had yet to be corrupted sufficiently were beyond the demon's reach.

Seeking to make use of this knowledge the mages opted to make use of the few spirits that they could be certain weren't tainted. The spirits of the innocent the spirits of infants. Taking the children the guild once again made use of the summoning rituals they had once used to call the demons into other vessels. However, while before they had first tore the spirit of the children from their body they left the spirit there. Thus the demons found themselves summoned into the body of the innocent while it still resided there.

Confronted on a spiritual plain with an opponent that they could not harm the demons sought to flee back to their own realm. However, their realizations came too late for the most as the mages sealed the demons within the body of the children.

Spirits are territorial by nature especially towards that which would clearly feed upon it should it be able. Enraged by the demon's presence the spirits attempted drive the demons from their body. However, with the demons trapped within the children's flesh and there being no true way to kill a spirit being all the spirit could do was attack the demons. As they fought the spirits became increasingly enraged becoming more and more vicious.

Many of the children were killed in this attempt. Their bodies ripped asunder by the demons attempting to flee and their own spiritual energies desperately trying to destroy the invader. Not all died  rather they were changed. Enraged beyond reason at the demons presence and unable to drive it outside of their flesh the spirits took the only paths they could and consumed the demon. What was was born from this unnatural process was neither demon nor human. 

Even the term half bread fails to describe them. They are not a union of demon and human blood. They are a new life form entirely an anomaly.

Objective: To create a monster amongst monster a man made beast capable of feeding upon the undead, monsters and even demons the way they feed upon humans.

Possible paths:
A: A young girl finds herself born into this world a beast amongst beast. However, despite being created to feed upon the darkness she struggles to find acceptance in the world as something that is not human, monster, demon or god. She is an anomaly the result of human tampering meant only to be used as a weapon without truly considering what kind of life such a being could have.

B:Centuries have passed since the day of her birth. The mages of the unified light had faded from history having long since been forgotten by all. For centuries she has answered the call of her creation and fed upon the darkness hunting monsters as they once hunted humans growing increasingly powerful as she did so. Yet as the ages past she has grown discontent. Centuries of isolation having taken its toll upon her she now reaches out for companionship no longer wishing to be alone.

C: Essentially the same as B except the mages of the unified light failed to control her. Truly enraged by the nightmare forced upon her the beings they helped create slaughtered them all. Now for the past several centuries they have fed upon human and monster alike belonging to neither race. After so many centuries her anger has faded though and she finds herself no longer wishing to be alone.

I'll probably extend upon this list eventually but for now could I get some thoughts on these two?

[SammiChung]

First Idea is a good one, if there's a manga possibility I would say this one would be a natural *FMG and Muscle females et all*

The Second…either a-B-C sounds a bit too close to Claymore(Manga), but it could work if you put a good spin on it and make it a bit more different then what the Claymore saga is.

[happiest_in_shadows]

I can't say I know anything about Claymore so I can't say if what I came up with would be similar or not. The inspiration for the second idea was actually based on the methusala (not the correct spelling probably). Anyway, it's a group of vampires that are so old and powerful human blood won't sustain them anymore they have to feed on other vampires or werewolfs or a few other super natural critters.

[fritzcat]

First idea has more potential, I think.  The alchemist is an odd choice for a vocation, but if you introduce it early enough in the story under the right circumstances (maybe it is a family tradition passed down in secret, maybe Elly doesn't believe him when he tells her he's an alchemist, etc.), then the audience will accept it.

My only plausibility issue is at the end.  I don't buy for a second that the guy would teach her his alchemical secrets.  He's one of the few people in the world who knows them.  This gives him power–power over her in particular.  Its a method of control. He gets to decide how and when her body changes, he gets to set all the rules in their relationship.  I think he would guard his knowledge quite jealously, and keep the vast majority of it from her.

She could still learn the secrets somehow, but it could be more a subtle battle of wills and deception.  Maybe she asks him to test his alchemical skills and boost her intelligence, eyesight, etc. with his potions.  Maybe she hides how smart she actually is getting and uses her new powers in some way to learn alchemy without his knowing it.  There are a number of possibilities.

I'd also give the following three words of advice:

1.)  Start slow and subtle.  Have the alchemist give Elly only a little bit of enhancement at first, perhaps to the point she's not even sure if she is just imagining the changes.  This will engage the reader's senses and make the more overt changes seem much cooler and more fantastic.

2.)  You'll have to think of a good reason for Elly to want more power once her fundamental problem is solved.  No woman wants to be a giantess forever, so it has to be for more than just the sheer thrill of it.  maybe she wants to see how far se can take it.  Maybe the farm suddenly seems like a dead end life and new dreams are taking shape.

3.) Likewise, you can play with the motivations of the alchemist. He would probably get high off his own sense of power, and would be tempted to surreptitiously change other people they know.  And why wouldn't he use it on himself?  There's really no good reason why he wouldn't. All of these questions open up a lot of ground for you to play in. In his lust for power or profit, he could take things too far, which could motivate Elly to undermine his plans and take away his skills somehow. 

Anyway, just some things to get you thinking.  There are a lot of directions you can go in.

[happiest_in_shadows]

1. You think he wants power over her. He doesn't she is a close friend that he seeks to help. He doesn't want to dominate her. That's hardly grounds to start a meaningful relationship after all. Where you got the idea that he wanted to dominate her I don't know.

2.He doesn't have the type of knowledge needed to modify her body. All he has in the beginning is knowledge enough to make temporary boost. He does learn that by using her blood he can make the effect last longer or stronger without changing the materials too much but that's it. Where you got the idea that he could permanently alter her body I don't know.

3. You assume that alchemy is rare in this setting. Now if you'd paid attention you'd read that he's a low ranking member of an alchemist apprenticed to a master in a small town. What does that tell you about the rarity of alchemy in that world especially the basic stuff?

I have no idea where you get the idea that alchemy would be an odd career path. Given that you can make healing potions, stamina restoratives, booster potions. You learn to make some crystalline items and refine some gems for mystic uses. Mages and warriors alike make tremendous use of alchemical items. In a mystic setting it's just about as essential as a black smith.

Fritz I don't want to be mean but your suggestions are pretty useless to me. I think you've taken the basic idea I gave took only the parts you liked, warped or left out many details and tried to make it into something you wanted to see. What you suggested is nothing like what I suggested. I'd say it's an entirely different creature. 

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