[Mark Newman]

Sometimes I send things too soon. That’s the thing about the internet. It just makes me mad when I think somebody is trying to make me feel guilty for being who I am. Okay? I’m just trying to be honest here.

[Mark Newman]

Oh puhleeeze!

I’m not talking about fighting and killing people, like you guys are always doing over there. I’m talking about having fun!

I’m real sorry things are so bad for you over there in Iraq. I’m glad I’m here and not there. Am I supposed to feel guilty about it? I’m sure you wish you were here. So I’m luckier than you are. That’s nothing for me to apologize for. So there. Don’t try to make me feel guilty ’cause you won’t succeed.

And what’s this crap about the having the heart of a mouse? You think I feel insulted by that? What do YOU know about MY heart? Hey, I read Aesop’s Fables a long time ago. I’m on to other things now. Maybe you think we should all live in a world where everybody is always kind and considerate and we all have total respect for each other’s feelings and nobody ever does anything that might make someone else feel even a little bit bad. Well, that would be very nice, wouldn’t it? Except that even here in America, in high school, there’s always something that you want that someone else won’t let you have. Like if I want to go out with some boy, but he thinks I’m ugly or not cool enough or my breasts are too small or too big or maybe he thinks I’m too smart or too dumb. I don’t know. There’s always something you have to do to get what you want.

I know I’m not a saint and never will be. I want things. I know there are limits on what I can do to get them, but now I have fewer limits than before. What’s wrong with that? Why should I bend over backwards worrying so much about other people’s feelings? I’ve already said I went too far bullying Harold and stuff. You want me to repent or something or fast for a few days? No way. That’s not me. I admit it was a little heady having all these muscles all of a sudden. I’m over that, but it’s not like I’m not going to find other ways to use them — more subtle ways, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, I’m having fun with Mark, and if we ever get our hands on that pendant, I’ll have a lot more fun. Then you’re all going to have to watch out. But even if I don’t … well, just watch.

[Mark Newman]

Oh God, Marilyn! You are such a loser!

I can’t believe what you wrote to that Ruth Benedict. You have absolutely no sense of fun. All this crap about bullying and assault laws! As if guys are going to run off crying to the principal or the local police every time a girl says "Boo!"

And then telling guys to travel in pairs and watch out for dark alleys!

You’re missing the whole point. Or maybe you don’t want to frighten the boys TOO MUCH.

You bet they’re going to have to change the way they act. They’ll have to think twice and three times each time they make a joke to a girl or look at her the wrong way. (And guess who decides WHICH way is the WRONG way.)

We don’t have to beat them up to make them scared. There are so many little things we can do to them that they can’t do to us. A little push with the hips that sends them crashing into walls. A grip that’s too hard. A pinch on the ass. They still want to kiss us, feel us up and all the other things teenage boys want. Hey, we want it too! But that won’t stop us from taking advantage and pushing them around too. It’s one of the fun things about close physical contact. You take the bad with the good, so long as the good is good enough.

It’s not just the bad girls who’ll do it. We all will. We’ll all enjoy having the guys jump to do what we want them to do. Who woudn’t? I bet you do too, when you don’t have your professional counselor hat on.

Kisses

C

[Mark Newman]

Dear David:

I understand your worries. A lot of boys are expressing the same concern. Being a "gentleman" is not something that came naturally to men, and the same adjustment problems will inevitably happen to women, especially young women (who are invariably more emotional and reactive than more mature women) and women who have suffered abuse. As I told another boy, boys will have to be more careful now, just as girls always were, not to put themselves into situations of risk. That means using the buddy system, not walking through dangerous neighborhoods, especially at night, and being aware of who is around you. And sometimes it will mean saying and doing things to appease a potential threat.

While some societies have learned from their histories, remember that we as individuals are not that old and we are shaped at least as much by our own experiences. Girls have suddenly been given a lot of power and they are certainly NOT ready for it, no more than teenage boys are when their hormones caused their muscles to sprout. And as we all know, girls mature younger than boys do. Girls aged 12 and 13 are already more muscular than boys were at 15 or 16, while their counterparts most likely have the size and strength that 11 or 12 year old girls used to have.

On the positive side, girls ARE more verbal than boys are. Yes they can be aggressive, but often in different ways than boys have been. We can hope that most of them won’t use their new muscles in ways that intimidate or hurt boys.

But you and other boys will have to take some responsibility to protect yourselves. Form support groups. Know your rights under the law and under school rules for bullying. Don’t put yourselves in dangerous situations and learn how to read the signals when one is developing. Now that girls are far stronger than boys you have to find other ways to fight back.

But don’t be TOO alarmed. Only a small minority of girls will use their new strength to hurt boys, just as most boys learned how to behave well. Life for boys has not ended. It’s different, but it still can be fun.

Please write again and let me know how you’re doing. Best of luck!

Marilyn

[Mark Newman]

Dear Cory:

It sounds like you have your head screwed on just right. And that’s good advice you have for other boys who have been more shell-shocked by the changes in their bodies. Good for you for seeing through the surface of things to the core.

Remember that your life is your own, whatever your parents say. Some parents, mothers and fathers, will always have trouble with their children leaving home. Your mother may be looking at the surface of things and seeing her son, her only son, now much smaller than he used to be. She may, in her own mind, think of you not as 16 or 17 now, but as 12 or 13 and needing more protection. It may take awhile for her to remember who you are. Acting maturely and patiently is important at this time, when all of us are going through major adjustments, to remind her that you are a mature young man, not a "little boy".

Take a while to let her adjust. Remember that in the end you will reach your majority soon enough and will be able to make your own decisions if you need to, without your parents’ approval. But with any luck, your mother will regain her perspective well before that and will support you in your decisions to go to school.

And you your last point, yes, this IS a good time to be an American. Men in those societies where women were kept down are now finding their transition MUCH more difficult than we are.

[Mark Newman]

To-Mrs.Knewsome

From- Cory William Probe

RE-Runt Squared

I want out of my life. Not suicide or anything stupid like that.

Just OUT.

I know I have to deal with the changes. Could care less about the fact that

girls are -gasp- stronger than me. Someone always is going to be.

Being weaker’s better than cancer.

It’s my parents. Dad is weaker than mom and its freaking me out and I can’t firgure out why!

They got along well enough I guess before last week. Sometimes they yelled but it was only that and only about stupid stuff. No hitting or anything. They seem to be taking it well enough too.

That’s whats scaring me though. They haven’t yelled once since the changes started happening. Dad doesn’t look like my dad anymore and mom’s massive!

She was always tall but now she’s bigger than dad used to be. WAY bigger

than me.

I’m an only child so I guess I have that to thank God for. Last thing I need

is a no longer little sister kicking my ass up and down the stairs. But now

I have no support about anything!

Sure it’s going to be a lifetime before I’m on my own, if society as we know it even lasts that long. I was thinking of maybe moving away for college but now that plans shot right down by mom and dad just goes along with her.

I KNOW he would have spoken up a week and a day ago. Now he just smiles and nods with anything mom says.

If that’s what’s in store for me screw marriage.

Thanks for reading, listening, whatever.

Friggin diminished but still Straight-edge,

Cory William Probe

P.S. Pass on some advice from a guy who was a shrimp before the change to the incredibly shrinking jocks: Deal With It. Just imagine the shit that’s

going down in the Middle East. At least 70 percent of us didn’t spend out

lives totally opressing our American country women. PAyback’s a bitch.. in

this case literally.

[Mark Newman]

Dear Pete:

You’re a very vivid writer and a good clown. I found myself laughing at the thought of a girl’s bouncing breasts sounding like thunder!

Pete, we’ve all done things we have to apologize for. Your timing seems to have been spectacularly bad, so there’s really nothing for you to do other than tell Penny just how sorry you are and beg for her forgiveness. If you are as good a clown as you say, find a way to make her laugh when you do it. If she likes you even a little bit, it may well work. (And if you’re lucky, you may get a bounce or two out of it.)

Sure there’s hope for you. Girls always like a guy who can make them laugh, even girls with huge boobs and muscles! Go for it!

Marilyn

[Mark Newman]

Marilyn

My name is Pete and I guess you call me the class clown. I always went for the laugh, sometimes I admit I went to far and made fun of other people. I mean I was never in Harold’s league as far as muscle was concerned but fer gawd sakes now I’ve got arms like Olive Oyl and the girls are like Popeye and they keep eating more and more of the damn spinach.

Anyways, I am afraid to see this girl after the changes, I mean I’ve been avoiding her but I know its just a matter of time before she catches up with me. Like I said I can be the clown and sometimes he gets the best of me, but I am going to be trying a lot harder now! Last week, I had a date with Penny Ryan. Penny had a knockout figure with a healthy C+ cup breasts. Well , I guess I was hoping, and expecting, more action than what I got from her. So the next day when my boys asked me about our date I kinda embellished a little you knew things like " man you shoulda seen those hooters bounce when I grabbed ’em. Just my luck it got back to Penny yesterday, Tuesday, and my buddy Terry told him to watch out. Penny is I’m sure huge and apparently this morning Terry saw her I said she was looking for me and said that she like to if my nuts could bounce like her boobs and then she did this pec flex that made her boobs bounce! Terry said it was like he heard thunder!

Marilyn, how do I get Penny to forgive me without hurting me and let her know I’d like to see the new improved boobs bounce. Is there hope for me in this new world?

Pete

[Mark Newman]

To: Ruth Benedict

From: Marilyn Knewsome

I feel very sorry for your daughter, Mrs. Benedict. If you go on as you have this week, very soon she will be without a mother.

I don’t know what world you were living in. Perhaps you had a bad marriage or grew up in a different country. But in America the kind of abuse you suffered is illegal. I’m sorry you were unable to use the laws to protect yourself, and I know our society is not perfect. But if you teach your daughter and others that violence and enslavement is the answer to your years of hurt, you will be teaching her behavior that can only cause more pain, not only for the males around you but for your daughter as well.

Assault is a punishable crime. Intimidation will lead to divorce and a broken home for your daughter. Think about it.

I can tell there is a lot of anger and hurt inside you. I suggest you seek therapy to work this out. Muscle does not make you invulnerable. You can still be hurt by guns, by knives, by poison. A frightened man is still not a mouse. The police can still arrest you. I’m sure you don’t want that, either for yourself or your daughter. If you won’t do it for yourself, let your love for your daughter persuade you.

Think about it another way. Now your strength is great enough to free you from the oppression you’ve suffered. Now you can move on with your life. And your daughter will be strong enough to be safe from the hurt that you’ve felt.

I wish you luck.

[Mark Newman]

From: Ruth Benedict

Ms. Marilyn, I want to ask you to stop filling the head of my young daughter with nonsense.

She came home today saying we women should treat men with respect. Now, WHY in the world WE should do that?

I have always taught my daughter that women are being oppressed by men. The Changes have ended that. Now, we finally are the ones in charge, and the men have to watch out for us!! This is now the natural way of things. The men had their time. Now, a new era has started. We must embrace our destiny. It’s time to show men what is like to live in fear of the other sex.

In the last decades, women has being assaulted, beaten, hurt in many ways. With this change, WE don’t have to worry about it anymore. In the last year how many times have you read in the newspaper about a woman being violated by man? That is because, men approached their superior strength to impose their will against our own. Well, not anymore. Now, we can walk safely at night without having to worry that some pervert or sick bastard will attack us. We have now the muscles to defend ourselves and we SHOULD use them since now to show at the men their new role.

Since the change, I have placed at many men in their places. My boss was one of the first. He always was trying to hit on me, until yesterday I ‘hit’ him and broke a couple of his bones. He told everyone he fell down the stairs. What a laugh. He was so pathetic. He couldn’t admit that a woman gave him the "respect" he deserved.

Another man that I was glad to correct was my own brother. Since we were kids, he always treated me badly and made cry when he punched me. Now, he is in the hospital with his arms broken and several organs in a bad state just because I decided to play with him the same way he play with me as we were kids.

The third man that lost any will was my own husband. I didn’t need to use my muscles with him. I just like to wear short t-shirts that showed my increasing muscularity. I love to use the gym he built to keep his body fit. It doesn’t do any good to him now. I saw him use it he just got discouraged after fifteen minutes. Then I pushed him out of the way. What a liberating experience. Everytime I start to use it, I know that when I finish, I will be even stronger. And he can see it. He’s so discouraged. Ha! Now, I only need to flex one of my arms and my husband obeys all my commands. When he sees the hard bicep bulging from it, his will is completely crushed.

I don’t want my daughter to be taught the old ideas about being equal with the men. We RULE now. My daughter must learn to treat at men as objects. They are a lot weaker than us, so they should be taught to serve US.

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