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phenomsParticipantthat your stripper ladyfriend??
It is.
I somehow suspect that our comrade phenoms
could have just as easily used this thread title in reference
to his (once / still?) favorite pro-physique gal – Nathalie Foreau. 😉 B)Nope. Nathalie was never a performance artist of any kind so it’s not a title I’d have bestowed upon her.. Nathalie was a definite favorite for a good while, but as with anyone that I haven’t any personal connection to, that’s not a very stable title. I’ve moved on many times since and can’t really claim anyone as a fav anymore.
My Deviant Art Page (old stuff):
phenoms.deviantart.comMy Booru Gallery (new stuff):
phenoms.booru.orgAlso
www.thevalkyrie.com/picthumb/p/phenoms/index00.htm
www.thevalkyrie.com/picthumb/p/phenom_fett/index00.htmphenomsParticipantI’m just not as active as I once was. I mostly will pop in at girlswithmuscle to see if I like anyone trending. Sometimes I’ll look to see if there’s any new content for certain favs. I’ll sometimes use Google for name or topic searches, or Yadex.com for reverse image searches. I go through phases where I prefer photos, and others when I prefer drawings. I’ll go whereever the links take me. Often that can land me back on dA. I’ve come to really dislike dA but it still has a ton of content and fellow femuscle community peeps, but to interact, I still come to Amaz0ns.
My Deviant Art Page (old stuff):
phenoms.deviantart.comMy Booru Gallery (new stuff):
phenoms.booru.orgAlso
www.thevalkyrie.com/picthumb/p/phenoms/index00.htm
www.thevalkyrie.com/picthumb/p/phenom_fett/index00.htmphenomsParticipantEvery time I return, I wonder if anyone still remembers me. Or maybe it’s the reverse and everyone that remembers me is like “Oh crap! Phenoms is back!” lol
I have no idea. I’m just thankful that Lingster has kept the doors open all these years.
My Deviant Art Page (old stuff):
phenoms.deviantart.comMy Booru Gallery (new stuff):
phenoms.booru.orgAlso
www.thevalkyrie.com/picthumb/p/phenoms/index00.htm
www.thevalkyrie.com/picthumb/p/phenom_fett/index00.htmphenomsParticipantI should also point out that I’ve found some positive takeaways from this.
There were aspects that I noticed which she (and one other Narcissist in hindsight) viewed the world from that I found useful as it differed so much from my own that it helped broaden my perspective. I can’t think of an example, but if one springs to mind, I’ll add it to this thread.
While she and the other Narcissists I’ve encountered had pathological and clinical levels of Narcissism, there IS such a thing as “Healthy Narcissism”. It’s a topic I’ve not yet been able to delve into as I would like to, and I’m not even sure what kind of information is even out there on the topic. While I know I’ve seen Dr. Grande mention Healthy Narcissism, I couldn’t find any videos that appeared dedicated to the topic, but here’s one from Dr. Ramani…
https://youtu.be/QiQCsrWtUNoI’ve never considered myself unattractive, but I’ve never really had a good feel for how attractive women found me… while I’ve had occasional indicators from women, including from attractive women, it’s been few and far between, and often muted, but not always. Rarely have they indicated what they were drawn to, and even when asked wouldn’t give straight answers. While in my own attraction to women, I certainly consider physical attraction. But I also look past that to the person, to her character (or at least to what I perceive to be her character… boy did I get it wrong this time). Since I never had an idea of how I was seen physically, I was never drawn out to giving it much consideration. I lead with my character and with my intellect. That’s been my identity. But for the first time in my life, here was this woman at the pinnacle of what I find physically attractive completely doe eyed and drooling over me. Repeatedly telling me (and gushing to anyone else that would listen to her) how cute I was, telling me which specific physical attributes she liked… at the time while exciting, I took it all somewhat skeptically. But now having learned about Narcissism and how superficial, shallow, and elitist they are, and with the knowledge that they’re actually quite bad at concealing what they want, it forced me to look at myself through eyes that I’d never before seen with. While I would want her to have been attracted to me for my deeper qualities, knowing that her focus was on the superficial, shallow, and elitist combined with an inability to hide her desires tells me that she was genuinely attracted to me physically, what about me she found physically attractive (because she told me quite explicitly), and while her aim was ultimately to demoralize me (which she did in certain ways), she also gifted me with a very solid ego boost: I wasn’t merely attractive or cute, I was apparently a hot fck boy. I’ve still not fully wrapped my head around it. Although I prefer monogamy with one great woman over a cadre of flings, knowing what an impact one year of working out did for my physical attraction tells me the difference it might make in helping me find my monogamous “one”.
Narcissistic intentions are clear:
https://youtu.be/tmKQAhW1Jcc?t=770There was a video I’d watched that I can’t find now which contradicted the popular notion that in seeking romantic partners, Narcissists don’t pick easy targets, but rather that they are attracted to people they perceive as “above” them which better fits with the Narcissistic fantasy of the “Ideal Love”, and with their elitism (only the best of the best), and then they invariably seek to tear that person down. It was an explanation much more consistent with the overall profile of Narcissism.
This was the only video on romantic partner selection by Dr. Grande that I could locate…
https://youtu.be/wa5BPhdDXSU?t=92
In a relationship prior to me, she had gone for the “Similar” approach (he too was a Narcissist), but with me she went with the “Dissimilar” approach apparently thinking that I would be easy to manipulate and going nuclear when she discovered I wasn’t.
My Deviant Art Page (old stuff):
phenoms.deviantart.comMy Booru Gallery (new stuff):
phenoms.booru.orgAlso
www.thevalkyrie.com/picthumb/p/phenoms/index00.htm
www.thevalkyrie.com/picthumb/p/phenom_fett/index00.htmphenomsParticipantTO ALL WHO BEEN HURT
https://thepassiveaggressivenarcissist.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/9j8po.gif?w=529The subdomain of that website initially made me think that it was another “Narcissist Survivor’s” type advice website of which there are many… yet few with good information. Most such sites just regurgitate the same psychobabble and drivel. After having viewed the site for several minutes, it instead appears to casually identify as being the passive aggressive narcissist but I don’t think it means so in the clinical sense. Nevertheless, interesting choice.
I’m not entirely sure why I decided to share what happened to me here. I’m known here to those that still remember me, and those that I still remember myself. It’s a place I once discussed topics, but never about my personal life, only our shared interest. And on the basis of that shared interest, a cautionary tale from a correlation I’d never before made despite how glaringly obvious it is: people that place a strong emphasis on their own aesthetics, including building up their physiques are more likely to score higher on the Narcissistic spectrum.
It’s just not something that ever made it onto my radar because I tend to prefer focusing on the positive aspects of humanity. But therein was part of the lesson for me, and possibly for others. If for no other reason that to avoid the people that represent the darker aspects of humanity, it’s prudent to educate one’s self about those people, how to spot them, and how to avoid, repel, and/or deal with them when forced to. Or if necessary, how to deal with the aftermath of the havoc they’ve wrought in as healthy a fashion as possible.
Sharing what happened to me has also allowed me to try to provide some basic information on the topic. While I only began studying the subject in earnest after things went to hell, I’ve had months to educate myself and I’ve had enough time to learn to differentiate between the good information and the bad. For me in this case, that’s meant that my primary resource has become Dr. Todd Grande’s Youtube channel. I chose him not only because he does a great job educating and explaining things in a way that helps me understand, but because he does so with minimal negative bias and with a strong emphasis on citing his sources and sticking to published empirical research. Using Dr. Grande as my base then helps me filter information from other sources. So for example, Dr. Ramani Durvasula is featured as an expert all over Youtube, yet she exhibits a clear negative bias against Narcissism, she doesn’t cite sources, and some terminology and concepts she uses appear to be unique to her (eg. “Truth Tellers”). She’s also echoed the term “Cerebral Narcissism” which appears to originate with quack and self-proclaimed Narcissist/Psychopath Dr. Sam Vaknin whose credentials in psychology are of the tissue-paper internet certificate variety. Vaknin postulates that there are Cerebral and Somatic (physical) Narcissists. While his description of so-called Somatic Narcissists anecdotally fits the woman I dated, anecdotes don’t meet scientific rigor, and should be viewed critically and tentatively at best.
My Deviant Art Page (old stuff):
phenoms.deviantart.comMy Booru Gallery (new stuff):
phenoms.booru.orgAlso
www.thevalkyrie.com/picthumb/p/phenoms/index00.htm
www.thevalkyrie.com/picthumb/p/phenom_fett/index00.htmphenomsParticipantbut we also lose a number of once regular suspects who seem to drift away – BlackKusanagi, David C Matthews, Hunter-S-Creek, ZZZ, or CPBell. Others acquire a girlfriend that they don’t want to know about their interest in fem muscle – Eegore (of the colored pens) for instance – and disappear into the void. And then there are some that just seem to either lose interest altogether in the subject for whatever the reason or prefer to lurk in the shadows without ever making their presence felt – say, like Hi-Standard.
Then there are others like me that just vanish without explanation. In my case, I tend to reemerge every few years only to disappear again.
Life just takes precedence. It has to. It really impresses me that some people are able to remain active so consistently. Like you for instance.
My Deviant Art Page (old stuff):
phenoms.deviantart.comMy Booru Gallery (new stuff):
phenoms.booru.orgAlso
www.thevalkyrie.com/picthumb/p/phenoms/index00.htm
www.thevalkyrie.com/picthumb/p/phenom_fett/index00.htmphenomsParticipantA cautionary tale, indeed.
Rest assured, you’re certainly not the first that she’s done this to, or be the last.
Succubi like her get off on that sort of thing.
She might look attractive now, but such a toxic spirit invariably warps the vessel.
Many yrs from now, you’ll be happily marred with children – she’ll still be alone, old and ugly.
Narcissism exists on a spectrum of many varied degrees of severity, and has multiple variants as well as comorbidity of multiple variants of Narcissism within the same person and comorbidity with other psychological conditions.
In medicine, comorbidity is the presence of one or more additional conditions often co-occurring with a primary condition.
The most common comorbid conditions to occur with Grandiose Narcissism are Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), Vulnerable Narcissism (aka Covert Narcissism), Malignant Narcissism, High-Functioning (Exhibitionist) Narcissism, Antisocial Personality Disorder (APD), Psychopathy (I can’t recall if it coincides with Type I or II), and Sadism, among others, but that’s still currently beyond my level of understanding.
She certainly appears to have demonstrated Sadism when in a conversation I had with her months after things went to hell she subversively dropped the word schadenfreude (pleasure derived by someone from another person’s misfortune). It didn’t filter through for me until later, but I suspect that she was hinting to me that she was taking sadistic pleasure in having hurt me and was wanting to milk it. (That didn’t work for her either.)
Not all Narcissists are sadistic, but yes, in her case, I believe sadism applies.
As for your suggestion that Karma will catch up to her or that her “toxic spirit” will warp her, I doubt it. Karma is a nice idea, but isn’t a thing. Narcissists in general rarely suffer any ramifications for their bad deeds, and more often tend to resemble Teflon… nothing ever sticks. For her toxicity to negatively affect her, she would need to internalize it. That’s the opposite of what Grandiose Narcissists do. Their entire existence centers around maintaining a positive self-image. Everything is always somebody else’s fault.
Add to that her healthy lifestyle, wealth, and ability to simply relocate anytime she’s burned too many bridges, she’s likely to remain outwardly attractive well into old age.
Her greatest vulnerability is that she burns so many bridges. But she also has many people that still associate with her (I’m unsure if they know she’s a Narcissist or understand what it is), and she also has a very large family.
I’m not a sadistic person and I don’t derive any pleasure from the pain or misfortunes of others. While a key feature of Narcissism is a lack of empathy, they are often drawn to empathetic people. I tend to be rather empathetic. I recognize that her Narcissism is a disorder, and prior to everything going to hell I was unaware of her Narcissism and began developing feelings for her. Although she hurt me, those feelings persist. I don’t wish harm upon her, I just cannot have her in my life.
You’re absolutely correct in that I’m hardly the first person she’s hurt, nor shall I be the last. She’s most certainly left a trail of people hurt in her wake, and I know of at least two to four of them. I only wish there was a way to prevent her from hurting others, but that’s just not feasible.
As Rudyard Kipling so aptly opined, “the female of the species is more deadly than the male”.
My Deviant Art Page (old stuff):
phenoms.deviantart.comMy Booru Gallery (new stuff):
phenoms.booru.orgAlso
www.thevalkyrie.com/picthumb/p/phenoms/index00.htm
www.thevalkyrie.com/picthumb/p/phenom_fett/index00.htmphenomsParticipantyeah you got to watch texting, many atimes things get misunderstood ,oooor you send the text to the wrong person,best to always talk to them. and never have a i phone with text with other relationships on them and NEVER HAVE PHOTOS OF PEOPLE ON YOUR PHONE!she blew up on one misunderstood text.hummmmm
(don’t take this worng but speaking about my Gender)I think she was looking to end the relationship and wanted to end it on her terms.So let her go don’t even bother with her. and Have a happy life with out her.Ashlee, thank you. I’ve never tolerated jealous/controlling behavior. They can either trust me or find another man to play their games with. I’m not the cheating type, and the BS perpetrated by jealous types isn’t grounds for any kind of healthy relationship.
To you and I, “one misunderstood text” hardly seems grounds for completely blowing up, but Narcissists at their core are extremely fragile and oversensitive. They are prone to fits of “Narcissistic Rage”, and to “Splitting”. They don’t even need an actual prompt, they live in a fantasy world and all it takes is not reading their mind to fulfill their fantasy of you. It’s an impossible standard that nobody could ever live up to.
While I can certainly understand how you could reasonably suspect that she was looking for an excuse to end the relationship, I know for certain that wasn’t the case. Quite the opposite. I was still very much adored by her and on a very tall pedestal. She’d actually put off a very lucrative gig in another state to keep spending time with me. Considering how much Narcissists prioritize wealth, that’s a huge deal. Additionally, I know that after she ghosted me, she hid away in her apartment depressed for a full month. She missed an entire month of work grieving, and that includes missing out on that lucrative out-of-state gig. She never returned to the club where we met. I wasn’t the first breakup she’d had while working there, but I’m the first person that she liked enough to be completely devastated afterwards.
It’s gratifying to know that it was as real for her as it was for me. It’s particularly noteworthy in that Grandiose Narcissists score very low on the Neuroticism scale of the Five Factor Model of Personality. People with very low Neuroticism scores have something called “Stress Immunity”. It basically means almost nothing bothers or stresses them out. They don’t get stressed, they don’t get anxious or fearful, and they don’t get depressed.
She definitely has very low Neuroticism, yet I meant enough to her that she was too depressed to work for an entire month and completely quit working at the club where she met me.
As toxic as Narcissism can be, they still have vulnerabilities, hopes, wants, and desires. I know the truths that matter, and the truth is, she liked me every bit as much as I liked her. But her Narcissism stems from extreme insecurities, and maladaptive coping mechanisms. I never meant to hurt her but it couldn’t’ve been avoided. She dealt with it the only way she knows how. Unfortunately, she’s just not able to deal with getting hurt in a healthy or constructive manner.
My Deviant Art Page (old stuff):
phenoms.deviantart.comMy Booru Gallery (new stuff):
phenoms.booru.orgAlso
www.thevalkyrie.com/picthumb/p/phenoms/index00.htm
www.thevalkyrie.com/picthumb/p/phenom_fett/index00.htmphenomsParticipantDoesn’t seem like it now, but you dodged a bullet. No matter how hot or fit the individual, you definitely do not want to be around a personality like that in the long-term. Be glad that you got an early warning taste of this before the relationship got too deep. Imagine if this had happened after marriage and the kind of hell your life would have been.
You don’t have to date right away but there’s plenty of women out there that are much more down to earth and grounded in reality. She might not be as fit as this babe but she’ll have other qualities that you will cherish more than her fitness.
Nice story though, at least you got to experience it for a little while.
the_collector_2, thank you.
Yes, I definitely did dodge a bullet. Of that I’m keenly aware. We’d talked about things suggesting a future together. Marriage, children, etc. I want all those things, and I’d wanted them with her. Yes she’s beautiful and athletic, but I’ve passed up other women that were both of those things before. I’m actually extremely careful in who I’ll date. I look for things like a good heart, kindness, affection, lovingness, honesty and authenticity, intelligence, creativity, chemistry, and most importantly, that I know that I could fall in love (unfortunately this one is extremely difficult for me and I always know very quickly).
She has this outward image that she has perfected to a remarkable degree. She isn’t the only Narcissist I’ve met (hindsight), she isn’t even the first Narcissist to become attracted to me (hindsight), but she’s absolutely the first Narcissist to win me over.
Narcissists are said to test people’s boundaries and to get away with as much as possible. I’m lax on many things that I know would be petty to get upset over, but where the important things are, I’ve got very firm boundaries. Things ended when she discovered that the hard way. I wasn’t mean to her, but I did firmly call her out.
I want children, and so does she. But I dread what kind of mother she’d be. If I ever get to have kids, I’d never permit them to be abused.
The thing that’s torn me up the most has been the way which everything ended and the abruptness of it. There was much left unknown, and while I understand how toxic she is, I still wish I’d have gotten more time with her. I’m not easily affected by people this strongly. I wanted to know her better than I had the chance to (I set that bar extremely high).
It’s just going to take me time to work through this. I decided to post about it here not only as part of trying to deal with it, but also as a warning to others here because the women we’re attracted to are much more likely to have Pathological levels of Narcissism.
My Deviant Art Page (old stuff):
phenoms.deviantart.comMy Booru Gallery (new stuff):
phenoms.booru.orgAlso
www.thevalkyrie.com/picthumb/p/phenoms/index00.htm
www.thevalkyrie.com/picthumb/p/phenom_fett/index00.htmphenomsParticipantThe subject of eugenics
I could be mistaken, but reading it in context along with the provided photo, I think he simply meant “genetics” (as in just being naturally more muscular), but for some reason used the word “eugenics” instead?
I don’t know how much if any “new blood” has come to this board. Most of us I suspect are “classic” members that were here 15+ years ago. We’re all ageing and more prone to “brain farts” compared to our youth. Speaking of which, I better get going if I’m going to catch the Early Bird Special and get to bed before 4pm! Oh! My goitre!
My Deviant Art Page (old stuff):
phenoms.deviantart.comMy Booru Gallery (new stuff):
phenoms.booru.orgAlso
www.thevalkyrie.com/picthumb/p/phenoms/index00.htm
www.thevalkyrie.com/picthumb/p/phenom_fett/index00.htm -
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