[Fonk]

That's brilliant work! 😮

[Fonk]

I can't imagine this movie turning out well.

I dunno. I liked Luke Wilson in Legally Blonde and more particularly Royal Tenenbaums. Y'never know!

[Fonk]

Left: You stole my headphones, bitch!

Erm. I'm usually much better at these than that. 😳 More if I think of them!

[Fonk]

"You're so vein, oh you're so vein…" Wow, is the only other thing I can think of saying! 😉

[Fonk]

I think I like that pose best so far! 👿

[Fonk]

Wow, I like all of those! You have a unique style and I think it's grand. Yes!

[Fonk]

More! 😀

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Florida was looking at the sword she had just been given, turning it over in her hands, when the fourth change happened. It felt briefly as if her brain were going to bubble out of her skull. Fortunately this change was quick. When Florida opened her eyes again a couple of seconds later, she had access to a completely new set of memories and knowledge, as well as her own. She quickly sifted through it all, looking for a clue as to what exactly was going on. A new memory presented itself.

In it, a woman was standing in the chamber that Florida and a thousand others are occupying in the here and now. She was seven feet six tall and, unusually for the Amazonian women Florida has met so far, she was not naked. Just mostly naked. All she was wearing was a headdress made up of a hundred feathers whose colour changed constantly: from white to yellow to orange to red, through green and blue to indigo and violet and back to white again. Her body was a testament to the intense beauty of the incredibly strong woman: her gigantic muscles bulged and rippled with each of her movements. Her tan gave her a deep and healthy glow. Her dark brown eyes were the colour of chestnuts. The only hair on her body hung in raven-black torrents from her proud head. She held a huge wooden staff aloft; her arms bulged beautifully with the effort, and spoke the Amazonian language, which Florida now understood. With a gasp she realised who the woman was.

She was the last Queen of the Amazons.

In the memory, she invoked the power of a being called The Goddess. "O Goddess, hear my prayers! Heed the tortured cries of your beaten and unworthy servant!" she hollered. "Protect my people now! We own this land and have conquered many others but now Nature seeks to take it all from us!" Florida frowned. She was experiencing emotions entirely inappropriate to the situation. She felt afraid: mortally, horrifically afraid. "I'm feeling her feelings!" she gasped. The reverie broke when the woman who handed Florida the sword took her by the tremendous, basketball-sized shoulder.

"Mistress?" she said, sounding worried. Florida shook herself and spoke to the woman in her own language. "I am fine," she responded, taking the woman's arm. Her muscles felt more solid and real than anything she had ever touched. The woman bowed and stood back. Florida addressed the crowd of musclebound women.

"I am your Queen!" she roared, pumping her mighty right fist. Long, strong cords of muscle flexed and bunched as she did so. The women raised their fists too to roar in approval and the sound was deafening. A different memory presented itself during the crescendo. In fact, Florida was not technically Queen of the Amazons until she passed three tests: a test of strength, a test of beauty and a test of wisdom. The newly wondrous woman held her palms out flat for quiet. Her triceps flexed out to unimaginable sizes. The clamour died down and she spoke again, more quietly this time. "I need time to prepare for the tasks that face me," she said. Her voice, though quiet, had steel running through it. "Stand outside the temple and wait for me. The tests shall begin today. Challenge me and I will prove my worth to you!"

The Amazonian army trooped out, satisfied with the speech. Florida stood still to watch them leave, trying to look as queenly as possible. As their footsteps died away, Florida returned to her new memories. The last Queen's final emotional state imprinted itself once more onto Florida's psyche. She couldn't understand: "What could possibly render a woman this strong so afraid?" she frowned. The answer came quick: she noticed that lava was filling the temple floor around the Queen as she stood on the altar. The last Queen's prayers continued.

"Bury this temple underground! Let one who is truly worthy find it again and receive The Power of the Amazonians! She will be the new Queen and lead us into the future!" She paused. "Save my army as well. Save them… in exchange for me." Florida's eyes widened in horror. A voice echoed down from the sky. "IT IS AS DONE," it proclaimed. The Queen smiled a horrible, twisted smile: the smile of victory in defeat. Her task completed, she jumped into the lava. Dr. Florida Crane screwed her eyes up tight and tried to shut out the memory of the screams.

"So," Florida whispered to herself. "They lead me here. Nice." The rest of the relevant memories unfolded quickly: the title of Amazonian Queen was not given on a hereditary basis. When a Queen died, any woman could challenge for the right to succeed her. All the challengers would then compete in three tests: Strength, Beauty and Wisdom. The Royal Power then entered the winner and she became stronger, wiser and more beautiful than the previous Queen. By Florida's reckoning, she was the twenty-ninth Queen of the Amazons but seemed to have received the power without the need for the trials. "Maybe it was a condition of the last Queen's sacrifice, poor woman," she thought.

Setting her face with a determined expression, Florida walked out of the chamber and towards the temple entrance. The Amazonians had ruled the land mostly by fear, which was why the walls were covered in messages telling the unwitting trespasser to flee. Of course, when it was necessary they were fierce, unflinching and unequalled warriors. She chuckled. Before the passageways had seemed so vast – now there was little room between the walls for the superbly strong superwoman. Daylight beckoned her as she turned the final corner.

Emerging into the sunlight, Florida could see the same squadron of bulging, massively-muscled nudes arranged around the temple entrance like an other-worldly painting. She smiled at them all. "What is the first test you have set me?" she inquired. The woman who had handed Florida the sword, which she was still carrying, stepped forward from the throng and bowed so low her hair touched the ground. "Mistress," said the woman, whose name was Nefla, "follow me." Florida smiled and bowed at the woman and started off after her. The rest of the Amazonian army followed on.

Florida was almost overcome by the messages her newly attuned senses were giving her. She could make out the scents of animals who had passed by a fortnight ago. She could see further into the distance than any of her contemporaries, though that scarcely helped, so dense was the jungle foliage at this point. Her surroundings looked more vivid and real. She could hear the cries and screeches of the jungle's abundant wildlife coming from miles away, as well as the hearts of all her fellow warriors beating. Happiness overwhelmed her. "I'm a goddess," she thought. "A goddess."

After five minutes of walking through the jungle, easily brushing back branches that before the change she would have had to avoid, Nefla stopped in front of what looked to Florida like a cliff face. The archaeologist looked up at the hulking rock. She looked further up at the hulking rock. Nefla spoke. "Lift this, hold it for two minutes and then destroy it," she demanded. The attendant stood back to let her Queen through. Florida smiled grimly. "With pleasure," she said. The rest of the Amazonian tribe lined up to watch or were vying for good vantage points. Florida rubbed her hands together and approached the foot of the cliff face. She bent carefully at the knees and dug her fists into the ground, trying to get some purchase on the towering rock, the size of three warehouses. When the archaeologist felt she had her hands deep enough, she very slowly tried to straighten up.

It was nearly a mistake. When Florida looked back on the first test, she realised that she should have walked around the rock and found out how large it was. As it was, she was not prepared. However, slowly, inexorably, the gargantuan boulder ceded to the Queen's immense strength. Gritting her teeth, Florida slowly brought the rock out of the ground. All of the muscles on her body were tensing, bulging and spasming wildly under the strain. Huge veins popped out, bringing more and more blood to her thirsty muscles. Her quads had doubled in size and her biceps were exploding out of her skin. Dr. Florida Crane yelled as she started to straighten her legs, slowly moving her arms to get a better grip of the rock.

Her muscles swelled to incredible dimensions, far beyond even the immensely powerful stature she had begun the test with. Her thighs had swollen to a hundred inches around. Her pecs had ballooned up and pushed her unbelievable breasts further up and out, which did not help at all. Her biceps had inflated to a solid sixty inches. Her glutes bunched up and inflated too, granting her greater stability as well as a butt to kill for. Her thrusting abs finally overcame her navel, which disappeared like a sinking ship. The rock, dripping clumps of soil and frightened insects, rose inevitably into the sky.

Florida straightened up, grunting with the effort, and held the boulder straight out in front of her. Her breasts bulged so far away from her body that she was using them as support for the giant boulder. Her body was awash with tearing, searing pain. With great difficulty, she turned to Nefla. "You said – hold it. How?" Nefla raised her arms over her head. Florida rolled her eyes. "I thought you might – say that," she replied. Groaning loudly now, Florida slowly moved the rock over her head. The stress her body was now under would have wrecked many construction vehicles but somehow the superwoman held on, counting down the hundred and twenty seconds she needed to hold the rock. Her muscles had reached a point at which they no longer needed to grow, which was just as well. Florida's biceps were now so large that had they been unflexed and down by her sides they would have bulged straight into her breasts. Speaking of the archaeologist's mammoth mammaries, they now extended to just over one metre away from the rest of her awe-inspiring body. Her nipples, which were erect and tingling, were the size of Coke bottles. Her shoulders were as wide as a jet and her legs as thick as saloon cars. "Thirty seconds left," Nefla said. The archaeologist sank into the jungle floor under the combined weight of the boulder and her own impossibly outrageous body but still she held on. "Ten seconds," Nefla announced. The crowd of naked warriors sat in rapt silence as their Queen proved her worth. Dr. Florida Crane hollered her pain out into the jungle sky.

After what seemed like a day to Florida, Nefla announced that the lifting challenge was over. With great relief, the Queen summoned all of her prodigious strength and launched the boulder into the air. She followed its arc and wound back her incredibly inflated right fist. At just the right moment, she unleashed her strongest punch and connected with the unfortunate rock. It broke instantly into a billion tiny pebbles, which scattered out over the jungle for a couple of miles. Florida turned around to face Nefla, who nodded. She smiled wryly and turned to, justifiably, milk the crowd's applause.

"Round One to me," she said, grateful relief all over her face.

— To Be Continued —

[Fonk]

That's excellent! It must have taken ages to get right. Thanks to you! 😀

[Fonk]

It's an interesting start. I'm eager to find out what goes on on the other side of the Amazon's portal! 😀

[Fonk]

I really liked that and I haven't seen the film yet! 😉

[Author]

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